Green Haycres

by lunabrony

Green Haycres: Chapter 2

Both ponies looked at each other, slowly circling, eyes locked on each other as if it were an old Western showdown. Neither one dared to speak. Several minutes passed before either one of them did.

"Applejack?" asked... the earth pony.

Rarity?" asked the unicorn.

Applejack stomped her hoof. "Don't say it like that, you make me sound uncivilized! If you tarnish my reputation AJ, so help me..."

"Really? REALLY? The current situation y'find yerself in, one look at yerself, and THAT's what yer worried about?"

The farmpony tossed her mane back. "Well I look perfect, I always do. Of course I can't say the same for you, darling. A makeover is JUST what you-" She gasped. "My client!" She exclaimed, and rushed into the backroom, with Rarity following.

"Yer what now?"

"My client, Applejack! I've almost finished with a very important design, and now I can't finish it!" She pointed accusingly at her own horn. "I need THAT. Give it back to me at once!"

Rarity sighed. "It's not that easy to jes' turn a pony into a unicorn. If there was, I'm sure Pinkie would have found it by now. She's part unicorn anyway. Look, this has to be an easy fix. We'll jes' go t'Twilight and tell her what happened, and..."

"No!" Applejack shrieked. "We mustn't tell Twilight, she'll think we're incompetent!"

"Okay, fine, we won't tell Twilight. Although ah'm sure she could fix it, but if y'think there's a better way... who the hay else are we gonna get t'fix this?"

Applejack smiled in such a way that Rarity didn't like at all. "Leave it to me, darling. I've just the thing."

***

"I must say, you're in quite a fix, to have messed up such a magic trick." The zebra said calmly, circling the pair who had so unceremoniously burst into her home several moments earlier.

"It weren't no fancy magic trick, none that we did anyway." Rarity huffed. "There was some kinda magic light doohickey, and... this."

Zecora shook her head. "I can reverse it with a bit of speed, but first a bit of time I'll need. The ingredients are rare, but don't despair, I'll have them before you can say appleseed."

"Time? How much time?! My design is due tomorrow!"

"Then an extension you'll have to make, I need forty two hours. Give or take."

Rarity sighed with relief. "Two days huh? Ah guess that ain't that bad. Ah can handle things til that."

"You will handle nothing! Everything in my shop is perfect the way it is! You, Applejack, will return to my Boutique at once and keep up this charade for Sweetie Belle's sake. I will-"

"You'll do mah daily chores for me, if'n y'can even get the tractor outta the barn."

"Don't be ridiculous, Applejack. I'll simply have the butler do them."

Rarity narrowed her eyes. "We're a farm. We don't have no fancy magic and we don't have no butler. Y'll have t'do them yerself. Macintosh'll help ya."

"In the dirt?!"

"In the dirt."

The farmpony pranced on her front legs, making horrified whimpering sounds.

"It's settled then. Y'go do mah chores, and ah'll handle yer clothin' line. Thank y'Zecora, as soon as y'all get that spell ready, come find us at once." She said, making her exit, with Applejack squirming right behind her.

Zecora called after, watching them leave. "This experience could be good for you! Maybe you'll learn a thing or two! Or just don't listen to me... you ponies never do."

***

Back t the Apple Farm, it was business as usual. The sun was high in the afternoon sky, and Applejack was coming down the road, carefully stepping over any puddles that may get in her way. Apple Bloom came bounding towards her in that adorable way that only the youngsters could pull off.

"Applejack! Yer back! Yer-" She looked confused. "Where's th'water tank? Ah thought y'went into town fer a new water tank."

"Uh..." She patted the youngster on the head. "I must have... forgotten it."

"Whats wrong with you? Y'sound funny."

"Cold! I have.. a cold. Achoo," she said lamely.

Apple Bloom just gave her a very strange look. "Whatever. Well ah finished cleanin' mah room, ah'm gonna go find Scootaloo!" She declared, and ran off towards town.

Applejack shivered. "Alright. I can do this. Just two days. I can do-" Her voice was cut off by an enormous pitch of hay landing on her, which had flown out of the barn. She shook it off, enraged, and marched right over to the door. "Excuse me! I'm working here! Were you raised in a barn?!"

The enormous red stallion lifted his head, pitchfork in his mouth. "Ee-yup."

She blinked. "Oh. Well then." She said, backing out of the barn and entering the farmhouse. "Perhaps a few chores WILL be good for me, provided I can do them with style, of co-" Her commentary was cut off by Winona, who upon seeing Applejack came racing down the hall and proceeded to lick her relentlessly.

"Ew! Ew! Ew!" She whined, running from the beast. "Why these heathens don't have a cat is beyond me, cats never do this! At least not the civilized ones, anyway."

The cat in question was curled up on a windowsill in Carousel Boutique, sleeping blissfully and completely unaware of anything being amiss.

Rarity was locked in the kitchen, attempting to levitate a plate from the sink. Her horn sputtered and fizzled, but the plate remained where it was. "How in tarnation does she make this look so easy?" The unicorn grumbled.

Sweetie Belle appeared in the doorway, looking mystified. "Whatcha doooooin?" She asked. Rarity picked her head up immediately.

"Sweetie Belle! Ah'm... uh.. jes' doin' some dishes." She said calmly. "What can ah help y'with, Sugarcube?"

"How come you're talking like Applejack?"

Rarity sputtered. "Uh... it's.... talk like Applejack Day? It's a real thing!"

"Uh..huh... so did you get that dress done you were workin' on?"

"Of course ah-" She stopped. She despised this deception, she despised it completely. But she had to remind herself that it was not an outright fabrication, but a.. a game! Yes, that was it, a game! To prevent further chaos from spreading. "Of course ah did." She said, her voice cracking.

"That's great! You really work too hard, Rarity. You should take a break." She said, and made her way off upstairs towards her room.

Rarity sighed. This was harder than it looked. She returned her attention to the plate in the sink, attempting to levitate it. Her horn sparked, and the plate flew out of the basin and shattered against the wall. Rarity threw herself to the floor, showered by pieces of porcelain.

"Stupid fancy mathematics..." She muttered.

The hours passed. Far off in Canterlot, Luna relieved her sister of her daily obligation, and the mantle of responsibility passed. As the sun set and the moon rose, Applejack sat on the front porch with 'her' little sister.

"Y've been actin' funny all day, Applejack. Y'didn't even wanna go mud wrestlin' with me. And y'love that. Are you sure yer alright?"

Applejack cringed at the thought of 'mud wrestling'. "Of course I'm alright, darling. I've just had my mind on other things." Apple Bloom, covered in mud, hugged her older sister. Applejack cringed futher, but a soft smile graced her features, and she returned the gesture.

Not everypony was preparing for bed, however, as was demonstrated by the frazzled Twilight who'd been pouring through books all day. "I can't find it anywhere!" Her eye twitched.

"Are you still trying to find out what that purple light thingy was?" Pinkie asked, sitting nearby.

"I know I've seen it before, I just-"

"Teleportation and Relocation Spells, Volume 1?"

Twilight stared at her. "Where did you-"

"It was under P for Purple Light thingy!"

"...How does that even... never mind!" She floated the book over to her, flipping through the pages. "Aha! Here it is! when dealing with relocation spells, it's very important that one has perfect concentration, and only perform on inanimate objects. When performed on live objects, side effects... may... include..." Her eyes widened. "Oh no. Oh no no. This is bad. This is very bad. If that light hit something... it might have caused someone to switch bodies!"

"Yay!"

"Not yay!"

"Aw..." Pinkie narrowed her eyes. "I bet I know who it hit too!"

"That's great! Who?!"

"My schoolteacher! She was acting very very very strange last time I saw her!"

"That's a start. When was the last time you saw her?"

"Um... One thousand, one hundred seventeen days ago! It was a Tuesday!"

Twilight narrowed her eyes. Not sure if trolling. "Pinkie! That's almost three years ago! The spell backfired yesterday!"

"Then we better go find her!" Pinkie exclaimed, and ran out the door.

Twilight facehooved and ran out the door after her. "That's exactly what I've been saying this whole time!"

Meanwhile at Carousel Boutique, Rarity had been up all night, staring at the unfinished dress that was due in a few hours. A knocking at the door caused her to jump unceremoniously, and raced to answer it.

She blinked in surprise upon finding her own brother standing there, a rose in his mouth.

"Macintosh! What in the hay do you think yer doin'? Are y'in the right place?"

"Ee-yup."

She raised an eyebrow. "Please don't tell me yer here t'ask me out."

"Ee-yup."

She pokerfaced. "...Ah'm Applejack. Rarity an ah switched bodies."

He pokerfaced as well.

She gave him a cocky teasing grin. "Unless you want to go out anyway," she said. In a normal situation, this would be extraordinarily less awkward. But it should at least get rid of him for a little while.

"Nope!" He turned and barrelled away from the Boutique.

"That's what ah thought." She slammed the door. Today was just getting stranger and stranger.

Comments

[bjorn2345]

:)

[lunabrony]

I graduated from college yesterday so haven't gotten a chance to start writing again. It's coming! I promise!

[Breaking News]

I got a little confused at who was who because the IDs switched but still managed. You do a good enough job with AJ's accent to still tell who is who. The quickie episode feel is a plus.

This has got to be the most random and awkward place ever for Rarimac shipping.