Bucking Idiot

by Arthtrott

Infiltrating Ponyville

Bucking Idiot

Chapter 1

Infiltrating Ponyville

I started off using 'he' but switched to 'I' when I started having to much fun.

I arrived at the bridge to Ponyville and looked at myself. I was a mess.
I had been galloping and trotting for four days having left Mountreal. I hadn't even stopped in Manehatten like any tourist would have.

I'd already spent more bits than I should have but I came equipped with my tool belt.

So I'd be able to find some work in repair and light construction once I'd reached the town centre, this being a maretocracy.

I was dusty and had burs in my mane and tail, and I stank but I'd have to make a better impression of myself if I expected not to be thrown out of town. I'd even heard it called The Village by other ponies and it looked very posh.

After making sure nopony could see me I took off my tools and plunged into the water, I had just a bit of soap left to wash with. OMCelestia It was bucking freezing. My bits shriveled up and retracted, I think even my newly formed horn shrank.

I splashed around a bit too. Life is to short not to have a bit of fun whenever you can.

I climbed the bank and shook myself off, then I rolled in the grass. I wriggled around on my back giving myself a good scratch. I'd crushed a few wild flowers under me and ended up smelling more perfumy than I'd like, but I smelled okay. With the noon sun I dried quickly and felt much better. I even ate a few flowers to freshen my breath.

If somepony had spotted me I would have looked like I was frolicking like a foal and I would have been embarrassing, but I still had fun.

I put my tool-belt back on and headed across the bridge into town.

It looked clean and bright with colorful buildings all with shops built into the houses.

Clearly a very industrious group of ponies.

Once I could get established I'd do fine.

I'm in town because I just found out, last month, that Twilight Sparkle was working in the library. I was curious to see her again after having lost track of her five years back.

I had been studying engineering at the the U of Coltgary when Twilight had showed up as a guest speaker for the Magical arts course I was auditing to get extracurricular credit. She was the top MIT graduate studies student and I fell for her hard. The "Magical Institute of Technology" was the most impressive school in the United States of Equestria.

As I'm an earth pony I have no innate magical ability. I had done well in chemistry,physics and mathematics but my SA-Ts for magic dragged my stats down too far to gain admittance. No surprise the majority were unicorns like her, plus a few alicorns, and one or two others like me.

Twilight gave an inspired lecture on the development of advanced magical techniques and new spell categories that she herself had conjured into existence. I was enchanted with her, but too ashamed to speak to her after the lecture. I vowed to learn how to cast magic myself even though others said it was impossible.

Shortly after, In the second semester of the second year of my studies, I was involved in a carriage accident.

I hit a pole with my Mustang cart and suffered moderate brain damage and combined with a severe concussion at the age of five, from a fall off an embankment, forced me to drop out. Darn Mustangs.

I chose a career in construction while I waited for myself to at least part way heal.

I continued to study on my own, reading science books and 'Popular Magics and Mechanics' and learning to build magic synthesizing equipment myself. After reading an article on a "pipbuck" as my inspiration.

I now wore a prototype artificer electro-mechanical bracelet that using jewels imbued with the elements of harmony gave me the ability, using my median, nerve to trigger spell casting.

The jewels gave me spontaneous spell availability, no incantation and less concentration needed. It did look like gaudy jewelry though 'ugh'.

I built my artificer bracelet by first extracting a core sample of my own hoof's bone marrow 'ouch' to obtain stem cells, which in vitro, I induced to grow a ring of dilithium protein the largest possible and encased it all in gold. It is keyed it to my DNA and if someone else tries to open it or use it. it vaporises. That is why I'm broke.

As soon as I started to cast spells a unicorn horn started to grow. At first I was frightened but now I look forward to It reaching full length, for now I'm hiding it. Soon I'd have a smaller version of my bracelet to wear on my horn. Horns are much more precisely controlled and easier to use, although I still liked picking things up in my hooves. Even with my bracelet off I could now cast primary spells with my small horn.

All ponies have evolved stacked lithium/cesium protein hyper-conductor crystals(dilithium). that allow them to create and control resonant magnetic-bounce fields, produce gravity warping bosons, and fusing cesium atoms into element 122 a hydrogen stacking element that spontaneously emits a high energy beta particle, once it has absorbed four protons, and then captured by and reinforcing the magnetic field. 'Cold fusion.' Simple.

All magic is really just science that is yet to be explained.

These crystals exist, in highest concentrations, in the metacarpal bones of the hooves, wings and horns of all ponies. That's how we pick up things, fly overweight, and cast magic.

My artificer bracelet enhances these abilities to allow me to cast magnetic-bounce field effects(shields, tractor, telekinesis, particle, heat, light, gamma rays,and phaser beams), boson gravity effects(levitation, anti-gravity, gravity augmentation), and 122 element cold fusion to power it all as well as produce a beta particle tunneling beam.

Combining the bosons, betas and fusion gamma laser, I produce a plasma canon effect called mage-fire blast, at identical strength to a full grown dragon, with the power of a micro bale-fire bomb as it's splash effect. Alicorns use the least mage fire spell as their weapon of choice.
I will never use mage fire on a living being. It disintegrates it's target painfully.

Nasty, gruesome weapon.

I use defensive spells and cast healing and augmentation spells on others and myself.

I limit myself to least electrical and light spells that only stun targets, cleric stuff.

I do not want to end up in prison they do bad stuff to small ponies there.

I was daydreaming as I trotted along, and became extremely aware that there were a lot of fillies/mares and few colts with just couple of older stallions. 'Guess I'm it then.'

I noticed that I was getting looks from the fillies and mares and I smiled back to as many as caught my eye they seemed amused? 'Gosh, they are sweet.' It seems like I am the eye candy.

I even saw Octavia smack DJ Pon3 across the back of her head. 'Don't do that!' 'Really.'

I'm just a Shetland pony with a peach colored coat and orange, blond and gold streaks in my mane and tail. I am not muscular and I'm a bit small, about the size of a mare. I'm not a miniature or anything, still, I'm no he-stallion.

I have a manecut that does not match with other males but I use it to hide the horn that spontaneously began to grow when I started using magic. I have a mid-range voice and I lower it when I talk to others. I look, and sound like a butchy female 'ha, ha'.

I grew up in a family of sister and, as the middle child, I was a negotiator.

My father had rarely been around and I'd never joined any sports with other colts.

I played with my sisters and their friends until puberty, then I'd just spent my time with my mom and sisters and read science books in my spare time. As such I consider all females to be my equals and my compatriots. I've always been single.

I enjoyed their company and felt comfortable. I like this town.

Whoa. That was a full on lear? She checked me up and down. I got butterflies in my stomach.
this is fun.

But then a thought stuck me.

I was reminded me of the time I'd just become a stallion and I had gone to a local mall without my saddle bags. I had been looking through the electronic stores but I was also checking out the fillies. My mind flashed to a "Fine Fillies" magazine I'd sneaked a peak at earlier. Suddenly a full grown stallion bucked me hard on the flank, I yelped. Mares were averting the eyes of their foals, the fillies were pointing, and giggling, and the stallions were grunting in disapproval. I had fully displayed myself in public, the proverbial 'third leg', and because of my small stature it looked even larger.

I dropped to the ground to hide myself. I brought my back hooves to my ears held my legs to my sides, folded my arms over my face, wrapped my tail around my bits, and pinned my ears back. I lay there 20 minutes until everypony had left before I felt safe to get up again. The last thing the stallion had said was "I'll really hurt you next time you do that." I never went back again.

I lowered my head and checked myself, nothing, thank Celestia that cold bath had worked and even so my tool belt wraps right around my belly and from behind I keep my tail down. I was covered, I know my manners, and I've learned my lesson.

I was headed to the center of town to the tallest building but along the way I saw a sigh that indicated that a lounge/night club was downstairs there was jazz playing and I saw two very happy mares come up together and leave. I love these places. And I'd really like a drink before seeing Twilight again to calm my nerves. There was a bouncer, and she looked big and mean.

She accessed me then stepped aside to let me through. As I brushed past her we made contact and I instinctively swished my tail back and forth to swat at a non existent parasprite.

I'd opened the door a crack when she kicked it shut and said. "Are you a bucking idiot. You can't go in there. I don't tend to argue with ponies the size of horses. I even tried to show her my ID to prove that I was older than I looked, but she would not even check it. She just said "Get lost you cretin." 'Wow, what was that about?'

Once again a memory came back to me.

I had just turned 18 and I snuck into a bar outside my town.

You can join the army but you can't get a drink 'till you are 21?

I sat down at the bar and ordered a sparkling cider. The bartender was busy and just took my bits, without asking me my age, and gave me my drink. 'score'. I emptied it fast and began to feel nice.

From across the bar some drunk ass pony yelled over to me to come sit with him and he'd buy me a drink. I hate drunks. All I could think to say was "No." Weird.

Then he said "All right, I'll come over to you then." He picked up his glass and headed my way.

'Dude was creeping me out!' "AIl I want is just to talk." I was scoping the exit. He put his glass next to mine I turned to leave. he blocked my way and eyed my hind quarters. 'What the hay!'

Then he bucked me in the face, and began to swear words I've never heard before.

In a blind panic a galloped as fast as I could for a dozen pastures until I felt safe enough to stop and puke. Celestia. I will never go to a red neck bar again. And I will never go anywhere without my bracelet on.

The town hall had a bistro so I ordered a pint of wheat grass juice and sat down at an empty table I picked it up with my left hoof and sipped it slowly. It was thick and sweet and delicious.

Not at all like the bitter wild grasses I'd eaten along my journey.

I finished it up and held it, on the table, between my hooves. I craned my neck and looked around most of the tables were occupied by groups of two or three mares usualy with one unicorn per group who was using her horn to levitate a daisy sandwiches, or such, so each could eat from their own corner. 'Ohhhh, cuuuuuute.'

'I love this town, It is a utopia, except, maybe, for that one bouncer, I don't ever want to leave here.

Then I realized that except for the unicorns almost half of the others were carrying foal.

so where are the stallions? I got up and rather than disturb any of the dinners I left the tables to find somepony to ask for directions to the the library.

A neon pink pony with wild hair was bouncing along and passed me. 'Sprogging' the antelope do it too.

I galloped to catch up and then trotted fast to keep up. She had energy.

I asked where the library was. She stopped Instantly. I slid on the cobbles and almost fell over. How had she done that?

"You are not here too see just the library." It wasn't a question.

I was feeling strange. "N...Yes I am." I lied and she knew it. "I really do need to find the library." I equivocated. She stared straight into my soul. And then. "Okey, dokey, Lokie." "Twilight is over there" She pointed to a tall tree visible over some homes. And she bounced off.

'She had known?' Twilight was the key to me learning wizard spells, to cast with my horn.

I could be her student, and lover.

'Why would anypony even notice me when Pinkie Pie was around? How did I know her name?'