Scarlet Mane's Diary, Entry 4: The Tale of Muffins and Cupcakes

by Madame Minty

Effrontery

Twilight Sparkle went to sleep and Spike together with Scarlet Mane decided to spectate the contest. Moonbeam could again start working on the latest version of Rupert in peace. As the golden armor with a brilliant red crest stood there, bunch of loose wires extending from where the horn would be and faint, pulsing red light seeping through the seams, she attached a curled, spring-like metal rod to the wires and then put it in place and covered with glimmering brass horn. There, done. Now just to clean the mess up and she'll be able to take a nap, too. Field testing will have to wait.

All the punchcards were put inside and, as Scarlet explained, there was no need to finish the intricate controls of all the machine's functions because the first spell, which made Rupert capable of holding spells by itself, made him also aware of the wearer's will. Sort of connection, she said.

Aware.

Maybe it's better not to think about it for too long. But it satisfied her—the spell was necessary and, as Scarlet explained too, Rupert himself could be taught to cast it, which would remove the need for unicorn magic to build new bots. She liked that very much. She didn't want to give anypony an unfair advantage. She imagined a word where everypony can fly and cast magic at will and smiled. Including Scarlet Mane, because why not?

As she kept daydreaming a wasp lured by the sweet smell of sugary tea flew inside the workshop through narrowly opened window and sat on a saucer.

Nope, nothing there.

It took off and then landed on a big, shiny thing.

Interesting.

Deciding to check it out further, the wasp marched across its surface and finally found something that looked a bit like a beehive entrance, but with a distinct lack of bees.

Honey, honey, honey! were the wasp's thoughts as it went inside. Finding no honey in the end they changed to Escape, escape, escape! and as it bounced inside its little mind got magically connected with the machine's.

As if reluctantly, Rupert's brass eyelids opened to reveal complete blackness, deliberately designed to not show where the wearer looks. His eyes flashed with weak, white light, then became dark again. Clockwork inside started ticking almost inaudibly and very, very slowly, gradually increasing in frequency. A couple seconds later individual ticks weren't even distinguishable and produced a very faint buzz. His eyes flashed nearly imperceptibly again.

Loud sound of breaking glass made Moonbeam jump. She looked around in shock and through the broken window saw Rupert jumping around two confused young ponies who were playing marbles.

"Bwha?" Moonbeam blurted out loud and rushed after her rebellious creation, on the go trying to think of a way to disable him. Chewer and Eclipse followed, barking all the way.

"Stop! Disengage!" she shouted.

Rupert stopped jumping and menacingly turned his head in her direction. His horn gleamed. Moonbeam squeaked and took out a huge book, Magic Runes for Dummies. The spell hit just when she positioned her impromptu shield in front of her. While Rupert turned around and began to hop away awkwardly, as if he was trying to fly, Moonbeam stared at the book. The best book ever. She loved it, how could she ever use it like that? She'll treasure it forev—

Chewer bumped into her back just in time, causing her to hit her head against the tome and wake up from the magical daze.

Oh no, Rupert casts the Want It, Need It spell! she thought as she threw the book as far as she could without looking at it.

Rupert was made to think like a pony inside, but having just a wasp brain instead, he had to adapt. He had to be the pony to control his own mechanisms. Think like a pony, then connect with the wearer's mind, hear the wasp's will...

It began to work and the wasp began to walk normally, suddenly completely aware of its form... and enjoying it.

It caught a smell of icing sugar and other sweets and galloped towards a green meadow with a big wooden platform, on which there were standing two lines of booths covered with colorfully striped cloths. Each booth had a wooden window cover, all of which were currently lifted like awnings, providing shade for everypony underneath them. Many ponies could be heard walking, talking, and eagerly eating. However, this day Maretown market wasn't used just to sell goods.

Oh, no! He will mess up the contest! thought Moonbeam with terror, watching Rupert run up the ramp that led onto the market platform. She breathed a sigh of relief when, instead of going straight to where all the ponies were, he turned towards the left and the backs of the stores. From there, he jumped onto a large pile of crates, causing them to puff out clouds of white powder from between the cracks. He then leapt onto one of the rather tall booths and dashed away. This was still bad, but at least he wouldn't hurt anypony.

"Stop!" she yelled desperately as she jumped from one stall onto another.

The wasp seemingly got startled by that and Rupert fired a spell, which hit the competition trophy, a matte crystal statue of Raffaella Icing, the legendary baker mare and inventor of icing itself.

Moonbeam gasped. With this spell, everypony will go crazy for the statue! she thought and tried to dispel it.

Barmy, Twilight's spells are so strong! she thought, feeling her attempt had no effect at all. Hopefully this one doesn't really change anything when cast on something everypony already desires. Maybe it isn't so bad...

#

Cinnamon Cream enjoyed baking more than cooking or frying. Her steamed yeast dumplings covered with chocolate, jam, whipped cream and other various sweets gave her a chance to win this part of the competition, but she put more hope in the third and last round, for which she prepared something special.

She glanced at Jelly Joy with anger and decided to retaliate. She snuck behind Joy's stall and swapped labels on sugar and citric acid containers. Hearing somepony coming she quickly got back to her place and continued to make her sweet dumplings.

"Hey Jelly Joy, whatcha makin'?"

"Hello Pistacia!" Jelly said and continued in a whisper "Super-sweet jellies, family recipe. What about—"

"Oh, sorry, I should keep stirring or it will burn," Pistacia said and trotted away.

Joy raised her eyebrow and shrugged. She added lots of sugar and stirred for a moment, then licked her stirring ladle clean.

Sour?! she thought in surprise. She tasted her sugar and looked at Pistacia, who was stirring mindlessly while looking around. Stacie caught her look and waved. Jelly Joy barely restrained herself.

I don't have time to make everything from scratch! This... thing will have to do. But I will have my revenge! she thought and quietly got behind Pistacia's stall.

Finding a gas valve for her stove she reduced the flow and quickly got back.

That should do it, she thought angrily.

It did. Jury wasn't very impressed with Pistacia's donkish delight.

"Whatever you were making, it surely wasn't a pile of sticky goo, however sweet, was it?" Poppy Roll said to Pistacia.

"Well, I..."

"This is delicious, I must admit," said Mr. Truffle.

At the same time, one stall farther Jelly Joy was wearing a saucepan on her head.

"This could be the single most difficult fight we have ever fought. Opponents from distant lands of unknown skills. But we will not give up! I know I will hold my ground. And while a day may come when the courage of dragons fails... it is not this day. Let no pony forget how good you are. You are dragons! Who's with me?" she spoke proudly.

"Are you talking to your jellies?" Wysteria asked and munched on one of them.

"Their taste is stunning and will leave you speechless," Joy said quickly, making the juror freeze for a few seconds as she just noticed Joy's cutie mark for the first time. Finally, Wysteria swallowed loudly, letting out a happy sigh, relieved by the fact that she still could.

"So good," she said, then shuddered a little as the sourness hit her taste buds. "So sour! I've never tasted anything like it!"

"Thank you, Princess Hysteria," Jelly Joy sarcastically thought out loud by accident upon realizing the reason for her sigh.

Wysteria was not amused and opened her mouth to say so. Meanwhile Moonbeam rushed with the sole idea of tackling Rupert. It kept running from her till it reached the last booth in the row.

"End of the line!" she said with a grin.

Rupert turned around and aimed its horn at her. Not wanting to be zapped, she ducked. However, it didn't cast any spell yet. It aimed a little lower and its horn shone with red light stronger and stronger.

"Oh bugger!" she said and rolled sideways.

The spell charged and fired, missing her tail by no more than an inch and hitting Jelly Joy's jelly dragons instead.

Okay, this is kind of bad, but she can just eat them, Moonbeam thought and focused back on Rupert, failing to notice dragon jellies flying up and attacking bewildered Princess Wysteria.

Poppy Roll couldn't resist and rolled on the ground laughing as Jelly Joy tried to explain she didn't mean them to actually fight anypony. Mr. Truffle's face didn't even move as he observed everything.

"Very innovative," he said calmly as he magically dragged one of the jellies out of the air and ate it, then gave her a 10.

Plum family didn't surprise anypony as they made their specialty. Judges' mouths watered as they gaped at a pile of deliciously puffy trotch pancakes covered in thick, irresistibly fragrant plum jam.

"Family recipe by uncle Whisky from Trotland, no lie!"

It was obvious that they won that round. Whatever else other ponies made wasn't even close—most of them openly admitted that and after getting a score went over to Plums' stall to taste the delicacies for themselves.

#

Rupert turned around again and glanced down as to try and measure the distance to the ground to make sure the fall is safe. Wasp inside felt quite comfortably in its new body. It didn't want to abandon such power. Below, Eclipse was barking at it furiously.

Sun is behind me, Moonbeam thought and got an idea.

She got up and galloped. Rupert's golden head with its red crest turned towards the dashing unicorn and his horn lit up. She jumped up and as the wasp aimed higher to lead its target it got blinded by Sun and turned its black eyes away, flashing them brightly while he abruptly cast the spell in the form of some sort of reddish thunder that hit a basket of free Poppy Roll's poppy rolls.

That's not bad at all, everypony wants those already and somepony will eat them anyway, she thought, hoping she's right.

She fell onto the metal pony's back much to his surprise, but failed to topple him.

"Oh, for Celestia's sake!" she said and kicked one of Rupert's hind legs, finally causing him to fall with a clang. At this moment Chewer wobbled by. This somehow distracted her for a few seconds.

Why did I choose that name? Chewer completely doesn't fit an anteater, she thought.

The machine started rising.

"Eek! Help me, Chewer!" she yelled, having no idea how could he do so.

Chewer apparently knew as he stuck his long tongue inside the punchcard slot, then took it out with a wasp attached and ate it, growling happily.

Suddenly deprived of the angry wasp's mind, Rupert started to think for himself. After remembering what just happened he made a sad face. This surprised Moonbeam greatly, as the only face Rupert should show was an intimidating one, which she had molded from a solid piece of brass.

What kind of spell was it, Scarlet? she thought in astonishment. After several seconds she finally closed her dropped jaw.

"Come on Rupert, let's go home and fix you, dear," she said invitingly.

Moonbeam took Rupert back to her workshop. The first thing she did was to take out the Want It, Need It punchcard. She placed it on a table and stared at it for a moment, thinking of a safe way to destroy it. The problem solved itself when the punchcard folded itself into a cube and then vanished in a puff of smoke.

She shook her head and then decided to block the card slot with a mechanism Rupert could open and close when needed. That should do the trick, at least for now. Her next move—hoping she assumes correctly that the wasp was the real villain here—was to install a pair of retractable, mirrory sunglasses to remove Rupert's vulnerability to being blinded by Sun.

Snazzy, she thought as she saw them in action.

As soon as Scarlet got back from the contest, Moonbeam described the effect her constructed spell had on Rupert.

"This was unexpected, but don't worry, he won't go rogue by itself, he has safeguards," Scarlet replied.

"You mean, like a robot may not injure a pony or, through inaction, allow a pony to come to harm..."

"Oh, no, that would be silly."

"What then? Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law?"

"Don't be a jerk."

"Don't be a jerk. Really? But... I... just that?" Moonbeam stammered in surprise.

"Why would you need anything else?"

Moonbeam tried to think of a reason, but this made perfect sense. Except...

"He shouldn't listen to jerks then as well. Can you somehow make him so?" said Moonbeam and picked up a cup of tea.

Scarlet Mane approached Rupert and looked him in the eyes.

"Listening to jerks is bad. Do you understand?" she said.

Rupert nodded.

"Then why did you listen to the wasp? Was it scared?"

Rupert shook his head.

"Did you—" she began.

"No brain. First run," Rupert's eyes flashed faintly as he spoke in a slightly buzzing voice, causing Moonbeam to spit her tea.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Scarlet said sternly.

"Rupert didn't know. Sorry," Rupert replied.

Moonbeam rolled her eyes.

Nothing is going to surprise me anymore, she thought as she relaxed and started to sip her tea again.