Transformers: Deep Space Exploration Team

by TcogArchitect

Chapter Ten: I'm Not Laughing

Published January 1st, 2013

Chapter ten: I'm Not Laughing

"WHAT THE SCRAP IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?"

Fireburst had seen his leader unhappy. He had seen his leader disappointed. He had seen his leader pleased, depressed, gleeful, amused, angry, and destructive. But he had never seen Bloodwing as infuriated as he was now. The red alicorn threw another wrench across the room, screaming in rage. Sharpedge ducked, allowing the tool to break another screen. They had all been awoken by Bloodwing yelling over the intercom to come to the bridge, where they had found that their leader was trapped in his beast mode, unable to access any of his other functions. And he was not exactly thrilled about it. Fireburst decided to say something before his commander broke everything in sight, including them.

"Sir, please calm down. I'm sure there is some sort of reasonable explanation for this." He knew instantly that his attempt to calm his leader did not work.

"'Calm down'? You want me to 'calm down'? When I've been turned into A SLAGGIN' FLESHY BY PRIMUS-KNOWS-WHAT, AND NOT ONE OF US HAS ANY IDEA HOW TO FIX IT!?" he roared, putting his face right up to Fireburst's, who drew back, fearing slightly for his own safety.

"Yes," he replied calmly. "We've all been affected by whatever is doing this, and losing control won't help fix it." Bloodwing drew back slightly, still angry, but now thinking. He finally sighed, obviously still unhappy, but no longer murderous.

"Yes, you're right Fireburst. Losing control will not help. Thank you. Sometimes I forget how intelligent you are because of your alt-mode choice. It's good to have someone who is capable of making me think straight." He put a hoof to his head for moment, rubbing his temple. He then turned to the other two members of his team, looking for clues as to what caused their conditions.

Crosswire had the most varied changes. His eyes had become large and glossy, his mouth now had a default curve that made him look like he was smiling, and his tail was now much smaller, with its stinger shortened to the point of being useless. His already small wings had become tiny, and he now almost looked....cute. Sharpedge, on the other hand, had her feathers puffed out to ridiculous levels. They now almost covered her face, as well as her claws and talons. There was no longer a single cutting edge anywhere to be seen. He sighed. None of them knew this planet well enough to figure out what had happened, and their medical equipment had been damaged almost beyond repair in the crash. The full-body scanners were completely ruined, so they couldn't even try to look for anomalies in their systems at the moment. However, there was one thing they could do. On the way to the Autobot ship, he had seen a small hut through a break in the trees. If any being on this planet knew what had happened, it would probably be whoever was in that hut. After all, if they lived in the forest, they must know how to deal with its dangers. He smiled evilly as a plan formed in his head.

Meanwhile, in Ponyville, Burnout had finally managed to tell Twilight what was going on, and the two of them were heading back towards the forest. As they neared the edge, however, a very familiar-looking dragon appeared from the trees, blocking their path. He growled, putting his body in a fighting stance, lowering himself to the ground. Burnout stopped, considering her options. There was no way she would be able to take Fireburst in a head-on fight, and chances were that the others wouldn't be able to help her in time. So she decided to stall by talking.

"Whatareyoudoinghere?Whatdoyouwant?" she asked, gaining a look of confusion and then amusement from the Decepticon.

"Well, it looks like Bloodwing was right. You fools were affected by this as well. As for what I'm doing, isn't it obvious? I'm stopping you from going anywhere. After all, it wouldn't work with my master's plan if you managed to get to your destination before him." He smiled as Burnout frowned, realizing that she would not be able to get back to the others in time to help them. Twilight looked similarly worried as she started to speak.

"Wait, what are you talking about? What is his destination?" she said, taking a step forward from behind Burnout.

"Oh, poor little fleshy can't figure it out? He's going to the hut in the forest. After all, if anyone knows how to fix this, it will be someone who lives with the cause, right? Don't worry, though. We won't hurt them if they cooperate. At least, not until we have what we need." He laughed, sending shivers down both of their spines.

During this exchange, Dark Lance and Bunker were investigating the area where the battle had taken place the day before. As it turned out, Dark Lance had been correct in his assumption that Bunker's hands and feet were affected in beast mode as well. The white Autobot's legs, instead of ending in hooves like they should while in his unicorn form, now had his robot mode hands and feet. Dark Lance had thought it was one of the most disturbing things he had ever seen, but kept his mouth shut about it. Instead, he focused on the strange, out-of-place blue flowers that littered the site of their combat with the Decepticons. His optics clicked once, and their insides changed to their scanning mode. He took a reading of the strange plants, and used his remote connection to the ship to compare the analysis with the one Burnout had taken from Skybreaker.

"Bingo," he said, as the result of 'perfect match' flashed across his optics. "This is exactly what we're looking for. Bunker, start gathering some of these flowers, we'll need them for a more thorough investigation of their properties. Hopefully, we can synthesize an antidote. It could be useful as a bargaining chip. I'll head back, and get the lab ready for work. Burnout should be back soon as well, so maybe we'll have some definite answers as to how this happened." Bunker nodded, and Dark Lance started heading back toward the ship. Before he could get more than a few feet, however, there was a large explosion from deeper in the forest. Dark Lance snapped his head back toward the sound, and he could see a small cloud of smoke rising from the forest. Quickly deciding that it was probably the Decepticons again, he told Bunker to continue his work before taking off in the direction of the disturbance.

By the time he got there, the commotion was over. He landed next to what used to be a large tree, the inside hollowed out and converted into a house of sorts. It had been blasted open, what was left of the entryway laying scattered on the ground outside, and what looked like chemistry ingredients had been thrown about, littering the floor. Getting close to the blast area, he found the tell-tale scorch marks of a detpack on the wood, confirming his suspicion that Bloodwing and his team had been here. He moved slowly through the room, deciphering what had happened. At first glance, it looked like there had been a struggle, but the uniform way the various containers had been knocked off their shelves showed that they had been purposefully shoved. Also, it looked like some of the items had been taken, with the leftovers having been pushed to either side of their landing place on the floor.

^Whoever lives here, Bloodwing was trying to intimidate them. But why would he resort to property damage? He's done this sort of thing before, but every other time it's happened, he just used his robot mode. Why would his tactics change so suddenly?^ He pondered for a minute, rubbing his foreleg against his chin. It suddenly occurred to him that it may have something to do with the plant. It had disabled whatever was most important or useful to each of his team: Skybreaker's balance, Burnout's speech, Bunker's hands. Even his lance had been affected, rendering it useless. If Bloodwing had also been changed, chances are it had taken away his ability to change into his much-preferred robot mode. Dark Lance smirked slightly. He knew how much Bloodwing thought himself superior to organic creatures, and now he was trapped in the form of one. He then thought of the other three Decepticons, and realized that if all of them were contaminated similarly, they would probably be much weaker than normal, allowing him to rescue whoever had been kidnapped. He walked back outside, and followed the fresh tracks that had been left by his quarry.

Inside the Darksword, Bloodwing paced anxiously while the zebra his team had taken captive moved around a large cauldron in the middle of the room, mixing it slowly and adding an ingredient occasionally.

"Isn't it ready yet!?" he barked, unwilling to stay trapped in his alt-mode any longer than he had to.

"This mix takes time, it's no fault of mine," she replied matter-of-factly. Bloodwing growled at her. What little talking she did had been in rhyme, and it was starting to annoy him.

"Just hurry up. I can't stand being in this ugly form for so long." He resumed his pacing, staring straight ahead as he fumed silently. The door opened, and Fireburst walked in, calmly striding towards the cauldron their prisoner was working around.

"How much longer?" he said, looking in across from the zebra.

"Not long yet, no need to fret. You'll soon be well, freed from the spell." Fireburst narrowed his eyes, suspicious of what the creature he considered a witch was actually doing. He had no knowledge of this planet, and no knowledge of how herbs worked. He had, however, come across multiple beings on other planets who were capable of creating truly devastating concoctions with only a handful of plants. He didn't say anything, though, and moved to his commander.

"The medic went into town and met up with that purple unicorn you were talking about. I think they're planning on making some sort of rescue attempt. We should be ready for them." Bloodwing looked up from his grumbling, glad for the distraction, and flicked his gaze to Crosswire and Sharpedge, who had been silently standing off to the side since they got back, and were now staring blankly at him.

"WELL? You heard him, get to your combat posts!" He watched them run to the door, amazed at their lack of initiative. As soon as the door opened, however, they were both knocked over as Dark Lance came rushing in past them. Fireburst turned, and instinctively tried to breathe fire at the intruding Autobot, but instead simply released a harmless cloud of bubbles. Dark Lance slid to a stop next to the zebra, wedging his flower-horn underneath the cauldron.

"Run!" he yelled as he flipped his head upward, spilling the mixture all over the floor. "I'll deal with them, you get out of here!" She nodded, and turned to the door, running out as Crosswire and Sharpedge picked themselves up, still dazed by the unexpected assault. Dark Lance then launched himself at Fireburst, slamming his shoulder into the dragon's relatively sensitive neck before rolling over him and bucking Bloodwing in the side, slamming him into the wall. He bull rushed between the two other Decepticons on his way out, slapped the door controls, and slipped through the closing portal, rolling through the small opening before dropping to the ground and running to catch up with the now-liberated zebra. He quickly took the lead, bringing her to the Star Runner, where Twilight and the others were waiting.

"Zecora, are you alright? We ran into that dragon, and he said they were going to do something to you." The tone of her voice matched the worried look on her face.

"Worry not, Twilight my dear. I am safe, thanks to our friend here," she answered, turning to Lance. "I'm curious as to your story, but we do not need to hurry. Your bodies look how they should not, and knowing your plight takes little thought. I can help you return to yourselves, but first I'll need some things from my shelves."

"Alright. Bunker, Burnout, Twilight, you three stay here. I'll go with Zecora to get what she needs. Get the repair bay ready, we'll be back soon." The two of them left, and Bunker motioned for Burnout and Twilight to follow him as he went inside.

The trip to the ruined tree and back was surprisingly uneventful. Dark Lance thought for sure that they would be attacked by an enraged Bloodwing, but he didn't even hear anything that would signal a Decepticon attack. When they returned, Zecora used one of their storage crates as a makeshift pot, mixing her potion while Burnout and Bunker studied how the plants and chemicals mixed. During this time, Dark Lance was able to slowly get Skybreaker back down from the gun controls, returning only a couple of minutes before Zecora finished.

"The brew is ready to make you steady. Simply soak for a while, and soon you will smile." She gave her best grin to punctuate the statement, and Dark Lance helped the scout over to the crate.

"By the way, Zecora, I've noticed that you don't seem too fazed by our regular bodies. Why is that?" he asked as Skybreaker scrambled over the edge of the makeshift pool, splashing slightly as he fell in.

"Stranger do I see, in this Forest of Everfree. You are not that scary, considering you are extra-planetary," she answered smoothly. It amazed him how quickly she could come up with those rhymes. Even some of the smartest scientists he had met wouldn't be able to do that. He wondered for a moment if she had powers of precognition, but quickly dismissed the idea as impossible. Even if she did, it wouldn't help enough to make a difference in her abilities.

When they had all finished, Burnout took a sample of the mixture to try and develop a synthetic version that could be manufactured in case it was needed again. They then drained the rest, and Dark Lance escorted Twilight and Zecora to the forest's edge. Twilight had offered to let the herbalist stay with her until they had found a replacement tree for her to move into, and Dark Lance waved as they went into town before returning to his ship. He entered the bridge to find Skybreaker practicing his gunner skills in one of the pre-programmed simulations. The scout paused the session, and turned to face his commander.

"Hey boss, I got a question."

"You always have questions, Skybreaker. What is it?" He sat in his command chair, resting his leg components since he knew he would be there for a few minutes.

"Well, you managed to save Zecora, and I assume you wrecked whatever she had made for them, so why didn't Bloodwing or the others try to attack? They always try to get back at us when we mess up their plans." Dark Lance thought about it for a minute, going through possibilities and crossing them off as he dismissed them, until he had a reasonable explanation.

"Probably because they weren't combat-capable at the time. Bloodwing was stuck in his alt-mode, Crosswire looked like he had been made kid-friendly, Sharpedge was turned into a walking ball of feathers, and Fireburst had his fire breath turned into bubble breath." The scout had been trying to hold back during this, but hearing about Fireburst sent him into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Dark Lance grinned at the memory as well, remembering the look of confusion and embarrassment on the Decepticon's face as the bubbles popped harmlessly against the ground and walls. When Skybreaker finally calmed down, he continued. "Also, they probably recorded what the ingredients for the mixture are. Bloodwing wouldn't have bothered coming after us if he already had everything he needed. It may take a day or two, but they'll be able to make their own soon enough. In the meantime, though, we have a moment to relax." He thought for a second, going down his mental to-do list. "Which reminds me: Twilight had said something about a Princess. I'll probably use this time to meet her so we can get moving on repairs and do some Energon mining. I want to be sure nothing will happen while I'm gone, though, so I want you to put up a spy camera to monitor the Darksword. If anything happens, I want to know about it before things get ugly." Skybreaker nodded in agreement, and turned back to his simulation as Dark Lance leaned back and tilted his head upward in thought, signaling the end of the conversation.