ParaDox: The story of how I became Derpy

by ParaDox Derpy

Ice cream

Note by ThatOneRandomPony~
I wrote all the lines that Octavia said or corresponded to.
Hoozah!
Check out my story about me waking up as Octavia here.
My chapter will be released soon to be seen from Octavia’s point of view.
So yep. Bet you can’t wait to read that, can you?
Hurhur
~ThatOneRandomPony

-~

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” I scream at the broken computer, even after the dust is long gone.

Shit. Not good.

I walk forward to the door, grasping onto the handle with my mouth. The cold metal leaves the worst aftertaste in my mouth.

*click*

As I opened the door, I can see a sticky wall of duct-tape staring back at me through the doorframe.

I hate Discord so freaking much.

I look around the room, frantically searching for an exit.

Then, something catches my eye.

The window.

“This is the worst day of my life.” I whimper, knowing this can’t end well.

I walk towards the window, hating Discord even more as I take a careful look out the second story window at the world.

He planned this, didn’t he? I think to myself with a scowl as I open the window.

I jump out the window, taking gracefully to the air for about half a second before gravity remembers it doesn’t like me and that, in some time long past, I must have insulted it’s mother.

The deceptively fluffy bush is not really fluffy at all. It is sort of like landing on a pile of sticks. Scratch that, after landing on it that is what it really is.

I drag myself off the pile of sticks and leaves.

I rotate my wings, checking to see if they actually work. I start to run, why am I running? I take a few jumps off the ground and start to flap my wings. I am flying! I think to myself happily.

Holy shit, I’m flying!

That was about when I flapped at the wrong time and hit the ground, rolling ten feet into the base of a tree.

Talent.

I take a look around, I see my neighbor staring at me. Mr. Fern was an elderly neighbor of mine who used to be in the navy. He was fairly old and scared all the kids in the neighborhood when he showed off his false teeth.

Mr. Fern finally stopped staring when he realized I was looking at him and waved. “Good morning, little pony.” He said in his dusty old voice, before turning and walking back inside.

Well that was extremely out of character.

On that side note, I lifted off, and started flying towards the ice cream shop.

***

I see a gray and black pony walk into the store, carrying a bag full of CocaCola and Graham crackers, as well as a satchel strapped across her body.

“Er, Derpy?” She asks, staring at my face.

“ TAVI!!!!” I say, as I run up to the gray mare knocking her to the ground.

“Oh, please! Get a hold of yourself!” she says, as she desperately tries to wench me from her.

“Oh, sorry about that. I have had the craziest day.” I say, slightly blushing.

“You and me both” She mumbles to herself, rolling her eyes

“We need to talk some serious biz” I say getting in line for some ice cream.

“You mean like getting to New York and setting this thing out? Yeah I think so.” She says, and pauses for half a second. “Can you get me a single-scoop chocolate, please? I have money”

“Sure, anything mixed in?” I ask, staring at all the gummy bears and other various toppings.

“No, thank you. Maybe some Oreos if they have them, but nothing more.” She says, as she pulls out her laptop.

“Okay, suit yourself...” I say, turning to the cashier.

“Can I have a mint ice cream mixed with sprinkles in a love it size, and a chocolate mixed with oreos in a like it size?” I say, as the cashier looked at me in confusion.

“Er, Okay” the cashier started to mix the ice cream, still confused at the talking ponies that just entered the store.

“Lets see here... New york is a around 2500 miles from here... flight costs... Taxis...” I hear Octavia mumble in the background, while I wait for the sweet dairy treats.

“Let me see the laptop for a bit once we get our ice cream, kay?”

“No offence, but, no.” She said, flatly, staring at the bright screen.

“Why?” I stare at the grey earth pony. All hell is going to break lose...

Because I don’t want your hands all over it. Er, hooves. I guess.” She replies, snappy.

“I’m not going to break it, just calm down ‘Tavi” I say, controlling my anger.

This poor child has never been to the ghetto, has he? Or she, I guess. Whatever.

When I was younger, my school was in the middle of the ghetto. I was the awkward white girl with a lot of ‘tude. It was a very strange time for me filled with stress and girls in the locker room switching the lights on and off.

“Its not that I think you’re going to break it, I just don't trust you. I mean now that you’re Derpy, I’m not sure if there is any psychological changes or anything along those lines..” She said, still focused at the electronic screen.

“Oh jeez, you have to point that out little Ms.Snob” I say, trying to keep my anger at bay.

“Well it’s not my fault that you might be a... er... special... horse” She said, regretting the words that just poured out of her mouth.

“SPECIAL?! You have no idea of what you have just said, bitch.”

She shrunk back in her chair. Plus, I’m pretty sure people were staring.

“Do, uh, do you want to use my laptop?” She asked, not making eye contact.

“Yes, I would. Thank you” I grab the laptop and a pencil from Tavi and start to type.

**

“..And done!” I say, finishing my sentence and clicking enter.

“We are going to meetup with the ‘fluttershy’ girl in Kansas City, then we will drive together to New York.” I say, staring at the facebook messages. “You might also want to delete your internet history.”

“W..Why?” She asks, quietly. She’s still obviously shocked from earlier.

“I logged into my email and I don’t want to have it on your computer”

“Can't you just clear it?”

“Er, it’s your laptop” I say, shoving the laptop at Tavi.

“No, please, you do it. I’m eating.” She says, as she shoves the laptop back at me.

“Fine” I say, making that word stretch out for what seemed hours. I delete the history, and chang Tavi’s background to a picture of her eating ice cream.

As she grabs the laptop back, she stares at me.
“Where’s the original background image?” She asks, cold.

“It’s on file.”

“Where, though? Change it back. Now.”

“Find it yourself!”

“Change it back! You’re the one who switched it in the first place!”

“I don’t care! Your background was terrible anyways!”

“It was my room! The only scrap of memory I have back of home, Change it back!”

“You can always go back home!

“No, I can't. You don't understand!” She says as she rushes out of the door, leaving her ice cream on the table.

I start to chase after her

What was her problem?

“Wait up!” I say chasing after the grey mare running away from me.

She stops, and flips around towards me. Tears and bubbled around the base of her eyes. The expression she shown was a mix of sadness, and anger.

“What do you want?!” She screamed at me

“It’s okay, I’m sorry for what I said” I came near the crying young mare, she needed some caring.

“Just.. Just grab my things. I don't feel good when they’re left alone in a busy place like that.”

“Honey, what’s wrong? Things aren't going to get better if you don’t tell me.”

“Just grab it! I can't tell you if the constant fear of losing my last personal belongings is tearing me to bits”

I get up and trot back to the store. Grabbing the bag, I see Tavi’s unfinished ice cream melted.

Oh great

I go up to the counter again, and bought Tavi a new Ice cream.

Comments

[SunsetyDays]

Cool. I'm just listening to True Capitalist Radio right now... It's a pretty funny show with clever humor.

[j3r034rja34jty]

Its posted good now!

I was there the entire time, so nothing new lol

[_Kenzu_]

I dawwed at the ending

hopefully things get better for these two

[Ponygraphical_Fun]

Love it to DEATH!!!!!!

[Phenoix12]

The story would be much better if the it writeing wasn't so fast. Still a good story... just a bit too fast.