Home Alone in Gotham

by Dinomite123

Encounter With The Enemy

Flash entered a drugstore to buy a toothbrush. He went to the drugstore clerk.

"How may I help you?" She asked.

"Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?" Flash asked her.

"Well, I don't know. It doesn't say, hon."

"Can you please find out?"

While she picked up the phone, someone with a clown mask enters the store and approached the counter with a crudely bandaged hand and places it on the counter. This frightened Flash (thinking it was one of Joker's minions) as he slowly backs away as the clown guy looks at him.

Then the clerk noticed him walking away.

"Oh, hon, you pay for that here. Wait, son, you have to pay for that toothbrush. Son? Son! Hey! Jimmy, stop that boy!"

Flash runs out of the pharmacy.

The employee chased after him and spotted a cop near by.

"Shoplifter!"

Flash speeds off as the cop begins to chase him.

"Hey! Hey, kid! Come back here!"

He ran thorough the park all the way to the ice skating area. He slides on his knees through an ice skater; cop collides with a hockey player.

At last he escapes.

Later, Flash was walking down the street. He was still shocked at himself for taking the toothbrush without paying for it.

"I'm a criminal."

Meanwhile, Harley is inside the Murphy home and has just plugged up the sinks with dish towels and left them running; he closes the door and gets in the van. She is laughing at her victory.

"What's so funny? What's so funny? What are you laughin' at?" Joker asked.

"I left the water running again!" Harley laughed.

"What's wrong with you? Why do you do that? I told you not to do it."

"Puddin, it's our calling card."

"Calling card."

"All the great ones leave their mark. We're Gotham's greatest criminals."

"You're sick, y’know that? You're really sick."

They're pulling out of the driveway as Flash is walking on the sidewalk dejectedly.

"We're bad guys aren't we?"

"Yes, but it was still sick because I didn't tell you to do it."

"Don't tell me what to do! I can do it if I want to!

"You're sick!

"It's not sick! Hey, watch out!"

They almost plow down Flash but stopped. They quickly put on masks for disguises.

"Hey! Hey! You've gotta watch for traffic, son, y'know?" Joker said.

"Sorry." Flash said to them.

"Santy don't visit the funeral homes, little buddy." Harley replied.

Flash nodded.

"Merry Christmas." Joker smiled.

As Flash took off, they took off their masks. Joker looked at Flash suspiciously.

"What's the matter?" Harley asked.

"I don't like the way that kid looked at me." Joker said. "Did you see that?"

"Ever seen him before?"

"I haven't seen that many kids since after I went to every family's houses."

"Let's see what house he goes into."

They slowly follow him; when he turns around, they stop, look around and whistle; once Flash turns back around, they continue following him and Flash starts to run.

"Why's he going' faster?" Harley wondered.

"I told you something's wrong." Joker told her. "See, I knew he looked at me weird. Why would he run?"

Flash ran as fast as he could to lose them. When they got to the church, Flash vanished.

"Where'd he go?" Joker looked around.

"Maybe he went in the church."

"I'm not going' in there."

"Me neither."

"Let's get out of here."

As they left, it is revealed that Flash was hiding in the nativity scene outside the church.

"When those guys come back, I'll be ready." He said.

Later, Flash sets up some mannequins to make Joker and Harley think the house is full of people. Their van pulled up on the front.

"Did they come back?" Harley asked.

"From Paris? We'll come back tomorrow." Joker responded. "Maybe they'll be gone. We better get out of here before somebody calls Batman."

They drove off.

---

Meanwhile, in Paris, the family was in an apartment while finding more updates on Flash.

"Look what I found in the kitchen." Cranky Doodle had a plate of shrimp. "Mes petit enfants, do you want a little shrimp, huh?

Sombra was too busy on the phone.

"Do you speak English? Well, is there... I am looking for my son, do you know where he is?"

Nothing.

"No, I can't find anybody. They're all shopping. Nobody's home for the holidays. Never mind, forget it." He sighed.

On the couch...

"This is so pointless." Starlight said.

"What?" Snips asked.

"We're here rotting in this apartment. Flash's at home. Mom's at the airport."

"So?"

"You're not at all worried about Flash?"

"Why should I be? He's acted like a jerk one too many times, and now he caught it in the butt."

"He's so little and helpless. Don't you think he's flipped out?"

"You're not worried that something might happen to him?"

"No. For three reasons: A. I'm not that lucky. Two: We have smoke detectors...and D: We live in the most boring street in the whole United States of America where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.

---

At night, the same pizza guy yet again speeds down the street. To the house and hits the same statue as before; he picks it up, goes to the front door and reads the note telling him to go the back door.

Flash puts on the same rated r movie he watch onto the TV.

"Who is it?"

"It's Little Nero's, sir. I have your pizza"

"Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here."

"Okay. What about the money?"

"What money?"

"Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir."

"Is that a fact? How much do I owe ya?"

"That'll be $11.80, sir."

$12 slides through the dog door.

"Keep the change, ya filthy animal."

"Cheapskate."

"Hey. I'm gonna give you to the count of ten...to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property...before I pump your guts full of lead. One… two... ten."

Gunshots from the movie scare Pizza Boy; he trips over garbage cans. Runs to his car and speeds off.

Flash opens the door and brings the pizza inside.

"A lovely cheese pizza, just for me." He smiled

Comments

[mitchboy]

11775697

I hope I get to see flash put a spider on joker’s face

[Dinomite123]

11776773
Actually, it will go on Harley.