The Dark Truth

by David Silver

2 - Tryhard

Izzy wandered through the city. She has no specific goal, and her leaden hooves didn't feel like moving quickly. There were no energetic hops or gallops in her, not that day. The ponies she saw had a different feel to them. They were doing the same thing they always did, but she could see the edges and frayed wires. She could feel the tensions and friction that came between ponies. A lot of them were hiding their darker feelings.

But Izzy was not, not anymore. No, she wore dark clothing, a dark collar, and even dark makeup. All her darkness was out there for the world to say. There was nothing to hide. Even her mane and tail was dark. Was that dyed? She couldn't tell and didn't think of a way to check, so it just was what it was.

"Far out." Izzy glanced to the side at a lightly nodding pony looking out into the middle distance. "Second goth I've seen today."

That almost got a smile out of Izzy. She swerved towards that new stallion. "You saw another pony like me?"

The stallion nodded slowly, his gaze remaining fixed on some far off point only he could see. "Oh yeah, another pony going for the dark look. Had some wild mane styles too."

Izzy perked up a bit, a glimmer of curiosity in her dull eyes. "Can you tell me about them? Were they a unicorn like me?"

"Sure thing. Yeah, had a horn and all that. Gray coat, blue and black mane. Stood out from the crowd, you know?" The stallion gestured vaguely down the street. "Wandered that way if you're looking for them."

"Thank you!" Izzy felt the faintest hint of a smile tug at the corners of her mouth. She trotted off with renewed purpose, following the vague direction indicated. As she scanned the crowds of ponies, she spotted a familiar moody face. Orchid! The fellow gothic unicorn was vanishing into a building. The sign on it read, 'The Ruby Room.'

Izzy inclined her head at the curious place. It looked like... a bar? There was no thumping music. It had a far more sedate feeling around it. The ponies that orbited it were quiet, many of them sporting more muted colors. None of them matched the exact style of Orchid or herself. They wouldn't help, no. Izzy strode past them all, heading--

"ID." A pony thrust a hoof in front of her. "I need to see ID." He raised a brow. "They serve drinks, you know."

Izzy blinked in surprise, but that faded quickly. It was a bar. Of course they sold those! She curled on herself and pulled out her identification. Her changed magic had even warped it. It showed a picture of herself as a goth. "Here. Can I go in?"

The bouncer peered at Izzy's altered ID card and then back at her changed appearance. After a moment, he nodded and stepped aside, letting her pass through the doors into the bar.

Izzy stepped uncertainly into the dim interior. A few ponies occupied tables scattered around the room, most keeping to themselves and conversing in low tones, if at all. The lighting seemed designed to keep things shadowy.

Izzy didn't spot Orchid immediately. She carefully wove between tables, earning some sideways glances from patrons. A few gazes lingered on her with smoldering interest, but none called out to her, and she had a target already in mind. As she reached the back corner of the establishment, she finally saw Orchid sitting alone at a small table, slowly sipping a vividly colored drink.

Unsure how to approach, Izzy simply stood awkwardly for a minute, shifting her hooves. The smell of exotic drinks, sweat, and a whiff of something else teased at Izzy's nose. Orchid seemed lost in thought. Just as Izzy gathered her nerve to say something, Orchid happened to look up, noticing her.

Orchid raised an eyebrow. "Oh. It's you." She gestured at the empty seat across from her. "Have a seat if you want, I guess."

Izzy sat down hesitantly. An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Izzy opened her mouth, then closed it, uncertain where to begin. Finally she managed to mumble "Hi."

"Hey." Orchid looked over Izzy slowly. "Are you trying a new act." She waved at Izzy. "Pretending to be like me, instead of faking a smile?"

Izzy felt her fur prickle up in irritation. "No!" she blurted much louder than she intended. "No," she repeated, much more quietly. "It's, um... I just... felt it..." She rubbed her hooves together nervously. "It's not an act," Izzy insisted, frowning. "I just...started feeling this way. Like the cheerfulness faded away and this came out instead."

Orchid narrowed her eyes, looking unconvinced. "Uh huh. So the perfect smiley pony suddenly became all doom and gloom for real. Do you expect me to buy that?"

Izzy huffed, feeling frustration simmering inside. "It's the truth! I don't know why..." She trailed off, gaze lowering. Then, softly, "You saw through my smile before. Saw it was fake. Maybe you just...saw the real me before anypony else did."

Orchid considered this, taking a thoughtful sip of her drink. As annoying as this pony had been before, there was real pain in her eyes now. She sighed. "Yeah...I know what it's like to hide hurt behind a mask. To pretend everything is fine." Orchid twirled her glass, ice clinking. "It's exhausting. Eventually the facade shatters."

Izzy met Orchid's gaze. She saw understanding there. The faintest of smiles curled the corners of her mouth. Somepony got it. That alone seemed to lift an invisible weight.

Orchid snorted softly. "But here you are." She plunked the glass down and shoved it at Izzy. "Have you even tried one of these?"

Izzy performed a vanishing act. She slammed the drink down with barely a gulp, leaving the glass empty of even its ice cubes. "Once or twice."

Orchid blinked with obvious surprise. "Hot damn..." She smirked with sudden amusement. "Is that how you kept your smile? A little grease on those wheels... Look. Do you even know what you are right now?"

"Depressed?" Funked out nor not, being straight forward about things was still Izzy's way, even if who she could express herself to had narrowed sharply. "Sad, confused... Can you help? I..." She tapped her hooves. "I don't even know. Do I even want to be happy again?"

"It's not about that."

Izzy recoiled, looking over her darkly-garbed tablemate. "It's not?"

"Nope." Orchid raised a hoof, getting a nod from a pony working the bar. "It's about fitting in. It's about your place. It's about not having one. It's about a lot of things, but it's rarely about being happy. So long as the other stuff's true, you're not that. But that's alright..."

Izzy's eyes widened with surprise. "Not about being happy?" That didn't line up with what she knew at all. Wasn't the goal always happiness? What else could there be?

Orchid nodded sagely, swirling the new vivid drink delivered to their table. "You got it. Ponies think if they're just happy enough, everything else will fall into place. It doesn't work like that."

She took a long sip, then continued, "All the smiling in Equestria won't fix not belonging anywhere. Not connecting with anypony. Not knowing who you are or what you want. Those are the real problems."

Izzy sat quietly as Orchid's words sunk in. She thought of trying so hard to keep a smile during her hopeless years in Bridlewood. Of constantly putting on an act for her Maritime Bay friends. She hadn't felt a real connection or sense of self in so long.

"So..." Izzy began slowly. "Even if I'm happy again, it won't fix everything?"

"Nope," Orchid confirmed. "But self-discovery might. Figuring out where you fit. Who you are under those masks. It's a start." She gave a faint, sympathetic smile. The first Izzy had seen from her.

Izzy smiled tentatively back, feeling the faintest spark of hope. Just knowing somepony understood lit a small but real light inside. "One thing... One thing!" She raised a hoof at Orchid. "One thing... I do have some real friends. For real real... Even when I was super sad and... Not very nice... They kept trying to help... They kept... Being my friend. They didn't care how dark I felt, or looked, or spoke... They just...."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Izzy bounced, her first bounce since her fall. "Yeah..." The energy faded just as quickly. "I felt super bad... I still do. I wanted to hug them, but I couldn't. I felt so bad..."

Orchid leaned in a little. "Well... If they're that good, you should be thankful."

Izzy inclined her head sharply like a curious or lost bird. "That isn't what I expected you to say."

"You don't expect me to have any friends." Orchid took a sip of her drink. "That checks out. Look, just because we're willing to be sad, doesn't mean we have no friends. It doesn't mean we don't value those friends." She thrust the glass, firmly attached to her hoof. "If you have some, and they're willing to be your friends when you aren't smiling..."

Izzy tapped her hooves. That thought felt half baked, like there was another part to it, but asking felt awkward, and she didn't have her usual mask of chipperness to just go ahead and ask anyway. She waved at that bar maid.

The bar maid came over instead of making something. "What do you have in mind?"

Izzy sat up at that. That day was full of surprises. "Um..."

"New?"

Izzy smiled nervously. "Is it that obvious?"

"A little." The bar maid winked at Izzy. She didn't have a horn, or wings. "That's alright. You look like you fit in around here. So just tell me what kind of drink you want, and I'll figure it out."

Orchid snorted softly. "Just get her my usual. She seemed to like it... if she even tasted it?"

The bar maid returned with the vividly-hued drink and placed it before Izzy with a smile. "Let me know what you think - it's one of our more popular options."

Izzy carefully lifted the glass in her magic grasp. She watched the colors swirl and inhaled the strange, fruity aroma before taking an experimental sip. The flavors exploded on her tongue - sweet yet tart, with an undercurrent of something deeper.

"It's really good!" Izzy said with genuine enthusiasm, taking another, deeper drink. The buzz was pleasant, comforting.

"Told you so," Orchid said, a hint of smugness in her tone. But her expression was soft, clearly glad Izzy found a drink suited to her emerging tastes.

The two fell into comfortable silence for a minute, Izzy sipping while Orchid subtly studied her. This pony who had grated her nerves before now stirred empathy in Orchid. She saw a kindred spirit who knew the struggles she faced.

"You don't have to stay lost, you know," Orchid finally said. "It's scary not knowing who you are or where you fit, but you can figure it out."

Izzy nodded slowly, gazing into the shifting colors of her drink. "I hope so. And...I hope I can really connect with my friends again soon. It's so hard when you feel this way."

Orchid gave a somber smile. "I get it. But it sounds like you've got good friends. Don't give up on them. And..." She hesitated, then put a hoof atop Izzy's. "Don't give up on yourself either."

Izzy returned Orchid's comforting smile with one of gratitude. However long her road, at least she didn't walk it alone.

"One thing..."

"You keep saying that." Orchid rolled her eyes. "What's this 'one thing' that's for sure the last thing, really, we promise."

Izzy chuckled nervously. "Sorry..." She took a moment, brushing the fine dark clothing that covered her. "How do I know?"

"How do you know... what?" Orchid swirled her drink with that final part.

"If they aren't friends with the not always-smiling me?"

"You already said that. But... You still have a point." She gave an aborted half-chuckle. "You went black, and they still cared, but you have a point. They may just be trying to 'fix' you. So... Your homework until next time we meet. You're going home. You're going to talk to your friends. Introduce them to you when you're not forcing a smile. If they're alright with that... Great."

Orchid made it sound so simple...

Author's Note:

Look, look, they're friends! Goth buds! Dark pals! So adorable...

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Comments

[Axolotl222]

Huh, so it looks actually has some genuine advice. I honestly wasn’t expecting that…

[howard035]

Very interesting 2nd chapter. I wonder, did this bar always exist in Maritime Bay, or was it founded after the unicorns arrived?

Of constantly putting on an act for her Ponyville friends.

I think this should be Maritime Bay friends.

[David Silver]

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Oops... G4sm.