Afraid of the Light

by BiniBean

Questions

Chapter Nine: Questions

Luna, Alicorn of the Night, the former villain of Evil Nightmare Moon, and soon-to-be reinstated Princess of Equestria was always considered a brilliant pony. She saw right through the Nobel's schemes. She wasn't like her sister, who sweet-talked them into submission. She had more brutal ways of dealing with traitors in the old days. Usually involved their heads ending on the ground and their sword caked with blood.

She gave a happy smile as she trotted down the corridor, holding a piece of cake Celestia gave her right before her sister went to bed. She missed cake. She missed many things about living. She never actually thought Canterlot would be complete before she was banished. Since she did plan on ruling, she expected the plans to be burned and her to have full control.

She can't say she was disappointed that it didn't work out. The city and the castle itself were a true marvel of construction. She still wasn't used to the fact they were on a mountain. She took another bite of the cake. It was vanilla. She always loved vanilla.

She stopped at two giant doors leading into a building with a dome glass roof center attached to the castle. Her eyes drifted to the sign beside it.

"Royal Canterlot Library and Archive.
The Archive restricted to all staff unless Royal."

Royal. She was a royal alicorn. Celestia told her she had access to the archive as an alicorn. She told the Librarian to give her access a few hours after Luna landed in Canterlot because she knew Luna needed knowledge of the world. Her blue magic lit up and she teleported that cake away to her new room, before grunting as she applied pressure against the doors.

The door creaked with age as they opened, opening up to a very large room, mostly dark other than the unicorn sitting at the desk in the middle of the Library. A circular desk around a huge hourglass that seemed to be counting down the night.

The unicorn in the middle of the room was surrounded by scrolls and books. She was examining one when she looked up from her small round glasses to see Luna allowing light from the corridor inside. She adjusted her scarf and yawned. Too tired to notice who the pony really was.

"The Library is closed. Please leave. If you are lost there are probably guards in the next hallway to help you along." The mare said before she went back to her scroll. She used her light blue magic to hold it up and provide some much-needed light for reading as the candle beside her was near its end.

"Apologises." Luna barked a bit too loudly. The mare visibly flinched before giving her a look.

"What are you yelling for- oh...oh..." The unicorn's face shifted from annoyance to realization in a heartbeat. "Oh, you're that, um, that alicorn? That alicorn that was that other pony and then-"

The unicorn paused to look at the glass dome above her as her mind raced to connect the dots frantically before she shook her head and looked back at Luna with a smile that would be considered warm and inviting if it wasn't for the slight yet noticeable look of fear in her eyes.

"S-Sorry, I haven't introduced myself. I am Bini Filters. Head Librarian to the Royal Canterlot Library and Archive." Bini adjusted her red scarf before gesturing with a hoof to the room around her. "All the most important books are kept here, the more dangerous ones are kept locked in the Archive. Princess Celestia mentioned you might be coming to inquire about history...Although I admit I was expecting you tomorrow at daybreak since you have been back to this world for a matter of hours."

Luna scoffed and rolled her eyes as she took further steps in, allowing the door to close behind her as she moved to the center of the room. Soon illuminated by the dying candle, Bini's magic and the dome of moonlight poured in.

"Quite right. We wish to enquire about history. A specific type of history."

Bini raised an eyebrow, before looking her up and down and leaning away as if she was preparing for Luna to strike her.

"History. We obviously have that, Princess...Luna."

Luna nodded, yes, she needed the history of her sister. Of course, she wanted to know more about how the nation developed but she had memories of her sister. Still have memories of when they were even unicorns. Her sister was happier once. Full of life. Anypony who knew her back before Luna was banished and then seeing her now could tell. She was like a shell of her former self. Luna needed answers about a great many things but she would start with a simple puzzle. Find out what happened to Celestia while she was gone.

"Show us to...the history from the beginning of our banishment." She barked. Best place to start. Only place to start really. It wasn't as if Celestia wrote a diary to tell her why she was the way she was now. Bini flinched again at her booming voice before moving slowly to get up from her place at the desk and pointed to one of the long corridors in the Library. Lined with bookshelves with hundreds of books, waiting to be read once again.

"This way, Princess."

Luna followed the mare down the dark hallway. Bini's blue magic lit the way as they passed by hundreds of books in silence. Luna was never one for small talk and still wasn't. She found herself within her own thoughts, the grief over what she had done was still very strong. The memories and time she spent on the moon were fresh in her mind.

A topic she had neglected to mention to her sister was the topic of her dreams. She did indeed tell Celestia how she could vaguely see them. Being disconnected from Equestria by the elements, part of her soul being manipulated by the Nightmare, and her limited available magic would do that. Frankly, it was a miracle in itself she could even be in the dream realm and see anything there.

She didn't mention the part where she had been monitoring Celestia.

She didn't know exactly how much time had passed while she was banished. After the 1000th day, she stopped counting due to boredom and it just caused her sadness to know she missed yet another day of living. But in the beginning. Her sister's dreams were memories. Memories of war, memories of mortality.

She could hear them, could see the colour they were as grey and black. Sometimes flashes of color if they were happy but she supposed they rarely were.

As the days, years and generations passed, her dreams turned to something else. Soon there was a lot of red, fire, a sense of dreading doom and death. The worst part was the rage. The rage that felt exactly like the sun's rage. The hate that she had a hard time accepting her sister was even capable of considering to feel. She started to hear a voice much like her own sister's, sometimes.

The voice spoke of dreams that she knew her sister would never let happen if she was sane. Luna believed that. She wasn't exactly Celestia's biggest fan when she was banished but she still couldn't believe her sister would give in to such temptations. Her sister, she believed far before she became Nightmare Moon, had everything.

But, the pony she saw now was not the sister she remembered.

Her sister was full of life once. Granted becoming an alicorn seemed to have dulled her sense of life but she was still a happy pony to those around her. She had a light, a spark in her magenta eyes that no pony could diminish.

The pony she sat with on that balcony had become a shell of her sister. She couldn't tell if Celestia even felt happy anymore. All the smiles and movements she made seemed robotic. She had seen how she addressed the public, the servants, her subjects and even her students in the same robotic way and no pony noticed that perhaps she was trying to hide something.

She looked like she was trying to hide something that's for sure. What it was, was probably connected to her sister's sun being consumed by rage.

---

"I shouldn't hate, Philomena. I shouldn't judge. I shouldn't hate anypony or anything."

Celestia sat in front of her fireplace, sometimes she worked best in front of it. The calming fire helped as it cast shadows across her room. She liked fire, as long as its origin wasn't the sun. Of course, she knew secretly the voice in the darkest reaches of her mind had the opposite idea.

So she sat and pondered that night. She sat and pondered Luna's return. She sat and pondered herself. She gave a sideways glance to her faithful bird beside her. A phoenix. Philomena.

"I thought that Luna coming back would stop this. Somehow her return would drag away all these awful thoughts but I still hate it all. I hate the nobels. I hate the whining from every city, town, village and even a single household for me to fix all their problems. I feel no different than I was for ten generations. It's not like Luna coming back was a cure-all fix but I had hoped it would fix...something inside me."

Philomena squacked. Telling her friend that 'healing takes time. You have that time.'

"Philomena, I think I am just a hateful pony." She admitted to not just her friend but to herself. It was a fact. "I dream of fires, blood red sun that turns to be worshipped as generations pass. I have started to like it. I have started to want that...control. I know I shouldn't. I wish I didn't."

She let out a bitter laugh.

"When has wishing gotten me anywhere? I wished to never be cursed by my destiny a thousand times over and it was never answered."

Philomena gave a weak chirp. Unsure of what to add she fluttered her firey wings. She was uneasy around her friend. The pony that she trusted was turning into something. Morphing into something. She didn't like what she saw. The immortal bird looked closely at the immortal eyes of an Alicorn who had been alive far longer than she originally planned to be.

She saw fire.

She saw hate.

She saw the life that brought Equestria alive was burning into ashes as the moments passed.

"She only just came home. You are correct. Perhaps I just need more time for something to change." Celestia mumbled before her eyes watched the fire once again. They fell into an uneasy silence.

Comments

[Ralanost]

Oh no. Daybreaker is winning.

[Jura18511861]

11703103
Ой, да ладно вам, Daybreaker милаха. Лучшая поняшка!