Life On Equus

by AlwaysDressesInStyle

CNN

“In international news, Sir David Attenborough and his camera crew remain missing somewhere on the world of Equus. The British filmmaker was attempting to complete a tenth entry in the ‘Life’ nature documentary series. Recovered footage from the expedition paints a rather grizzly picture. Viewer discretion is advised for the following clip. Younger viewers and those sensitive to violence may wish to change the channel.”

A clip plays found footage, showing a camera crew running from Cozy Glow. The camera points ahead as the crew is running, panning back to show the pursuing filly periodically. Every time the camera pans back, Cozy Glow is closer to them. Cozy pulls ahead of the cameraman, flying straight into the back of a sound technician, knocking him to the ground. She turns her attention to the cameraman, and the video camera goes flying as she impacts him. The camera lands intact, but upside-down, and records her pummeling the hapless human.

“CNN apologizes for the brutality of what you just witnessed. It’s currently unknown how many of the camera crew, if any, survived this incident. Sir Attenborough is not among the people shown running from the crazed beast, and there are no updates on his status at this time.”

The footage turns to Capitol Hill where lawmakers are arguing.

“Senate Democrats are urging that we turn Equus into a nature preserve, but running into intense opposition from Senate Republicans who wish to exploit the world’s natural resources.”

Comments

[The Byzantine Knight]

It's not really CNN unless they find some way to make this all Trump's fault.