Fading Sanity

by MorganaTheNotCat

𝕋𝕙r𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕤 o𝕗 ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕔ept𝕚𝕠𝕟

Author's Note:

For this chapter, I suggest you read it with non-justified formatting.

The bells. The drat bells. They wouldn't stop ringing the entire night. Every hour, it was just Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! all the time. I turned and shuffled in my bed, I tried to hide away in the pillows in a feeble attempt to cut out the noise. They had rung many times. I had got up, checked and went to bed. There was nothing. Then they did it a 2nd time. I got up, checked and there was nothing. A 3rd. Then a 4th. By the 12th time 𝕀 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖. I got up and ripped the strings connected to them, they couldn't ring anymore. Yet somehow, I could still hear that faint Ding! every so often. I swear...

When morning came I was less than refreshed to take on this new day. My body was limp, my eyelids were heavy. It was hard to think straight when my head was aching so bad... But it wasn't just because of the bells. I couldn't sleep the entire night. I kept thinking and thinking about everything, I kept trying to imagine what could be causing these things. The staircase, it went up into what seemed to be empty space. There is no possible way there'd be a room up there. And then, there was no hole in the wall once I got back. I kept thinking about this the entire night and not only that, I kept hearing noises in my home.

What sounded like whispers, gentle groans, I could hear creaking, walking in the floorboards as if there was somepony downstairs^{ℍ𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕠 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝} yet every time I went down there to check I could see nothing and nopony. It drove me 𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕖. I needed to take a breath. I needed to relax. I don't know how I can calm myself but I'll have to figure out a way.

First things first, coffee. I need to drink something, I need to stay alert I... Gotta get up and take a walk or a stretch or something, I don't know. I reached for my glasses again, it wasn't on the left side_{ℍ𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕠 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝}. I unwillingly got up from the bed and walked around to grab them, cleaning the lens and using the circumstance to open the closet and grab my sweater only to realize... I had slept with it. I didn't take it off. A minor oversight on my part^{ℝ𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣, 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗}. I headed down the stairs, taking one deep sigh as I went down the steps. And I kept going. And going... My stairs were never this big. I know this. Finally I reached the bottom, yet when I looked back up, the length of the stairway didn't change one bit.

My head scanned the surroundings once I stepped out into view, but I couldn't see anything of note. The clock was by the door yet again, the potted plant was once more by the side of the door... Wasn't that were the coat-hanger was? Where'd the coat-hanger go? It hurts to overthink this much. I stepped closer to my work desk, where to my surprise I found that the letter to Twilight was completely untouched. Fortunately or unfortunately for me. I headed over to the kitchen, though on my way over I tripped on one of the pieces of string, falling face first in the floor, sending my glasses flying forwards. Despite the string connection to the bell being cut, I swear I heard another Ding! coming from upstairs...

I had to spend a few seconds looking for my glasses, I can't believe I let myself fall victim to my own trap. Even if I couldn't see it because of my drowsiness, I should've been able to remember it was there. Shouldn't I?

The lens. They were partially cracked on the right side. I didn't have spare glasses, that means I'd likely have to go out to get new ones made for me. I can already see this is the start of a great day. Once I came back to my senses, I looked around the kitchen but it's not like I could see anything too different. The dining table was just as it was before. A small mess of books and dirty plates. The window was slightly open, letting some sunlight creep into the dark room and sending some light into the darker corners. I saw a fruit bowl. I don't remember buying that, I barely even eat fruits at all... But upon closer inspection, my eyes widened. I did buy a fruit bowl! Yesterday, was it? Or was it the day before that? Either way, there were no signs of it changing either. 2 pears, and 1 banana. This must mean that there is nobody living with me, or maybe there is but they bought and replaced the food the next day so I wouldn't notice...? ^{𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕫𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘?}

I didn't care. It had been a while since I ate something decent. I used my magic to float the banana closer, unwrapping it and taking a bite before I turned back to my work station. First things first, I need to post this letter to Twilight. Second, I want to go out and personally take a look at the basement entrance I saw yesterday. I don't remember ever seeing that in my back garden, but it is something worth checking. If there is any semblance of a lead or anything that can help me better understand whatever is going on here, it'll be a relief.

Once again I stepped over the string and trotted past my work desk, opening the door and stepping outside only to remember that I forgot to grab the letter. I quickly stepped back inside, floated it by my side and off I went.

---

The Canterlot post office. It was actually nice to get out and get some fresh air, after everything that had happened. The streets didn't seem so busy this particular day, but that doesn't make it any easier to interact with ponies. My mane was messy, my eyes droopy, my glasses were cracked, you wouldn't be far off to assume I was homeless. To be fair, after stepping outside, I didn't feel like going back. Not because I liked what was on the outside, but because 𝕀 𝕙𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖. Still, I just needed to send this over and get back home to continue my exploration.

There was already a line formed as I stepped inside. A few ponies stood ahead of me, and I patiently waited my turn. I tried to keep my eyes open, but standing there was just so boring. The office chitter-chatter of the mail ponies running about was like a droning sound in my head, it was white noise that helped me fall asleep. Every few seconds or so, I'd jolt my head up in an attempt at keeping myself conscious, only to slowly loose that grip more and more. I just... I could just take a quick rest... It wouldn't be so bad right...? I'm waiting in line anyways it shouldn't be an issue...

As I closed my eyes, a sudden flash. It jolted me back into action, before I glanced around to see if anypony had noticed. Fortunately, the couple ahead of me were too busy flirting with each-other to notice it, and the grumpy looking stallion behind me could care less about what I did. Just a few minutes, it should be... fine...

Another flash. An image. It was my house. It kept invading my thoughts, like a sickness seeping into my mind. It was like every time I closed my eyes, I could see it. Again and again, it kept coming back to me, and just the image of it... It sent chills down my spine. It made my heart beat faster, my breathing shallower. For a second, I lost myself. I wasn't at the post office, I was before the front steps, and despite my reluctance to step inside, I was drawn to it. There was something about it. It's mere presence intimidated me, but it also called out to me and begged me to keep exploring it's new secrets, it wanted me to reveal what was hidden beneath the surface.

"I said move it lady!" The stallion behind me gave me a push, I almost lost my balance as I stepped forward. I looked ahead to see that the line of 5 or 6 ponies had already left. I was next in line. I took a look back at the stallion. If I had any strength, I'd stick it up to him and tell him what I think about his actions, but I barely had the ability to stand upright, much less make cohesive sentences. I looked at the counter, a cyan coated pegasus stallion greeted me.

"How can I help ya?" Despite his charismatic and friendly attitude, I didn't reciprocate.

"Here- I'm- I need to deliver this letter- I mean, I need this letter delivered. To uh... Twilight- As in Princess Twilight. Twilight Sparkle." He looked at me in the eye with a raised brow and a cheeky smile.

"Oh! So you're a fan of the princess?" He chuckled.

"What? I- Look I really don't want to discuss this right now, just take the letter and-" Despite my attempts at shutting the conversation down, he insisted.

"No no, there's nothing wrong with wanting your favorite princess to let her know you're thankful." What is he even talking about? I really don't have time for this.

"Just- Take the letter. To her." He was about to continue the conversation, but I just turned around and headed out, leaving the letter on the counter. He seemed somewhat confused as I left the post office.

---

I stood before the front garden yet again, my eyes fixated on the building before me like a hypnotic spell, I wanted to 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕪 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕚𝕥 as much as I wanted to come inside. It was time to explore the basement and attic from yesterday, but I don't even know if they exist to begin with. I lived here for 5 years, I would've noticed if something was off. And why now of all days? Why has this sudden activity picked up?

It was hard to deny the truth, there was something wrong with my house and it was starting to affect me. With everything I've seen so far, I couldn't rely on my memory. I couldn't rely on my mind^{ℍ𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕠 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝} I didn't know for certain what was what, how it happened or why it happened. And much less could I focus with half-open eyes and drowsy head.

But I had to push through. I need to find out what is happening and why it's happening... But this time... I don't even know where to start... I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm lost in a labyrinth, except every path leads to a dead end. I feel like when I open the door and step inside that my worst nightmares may just very well come to life. I considered the option _{𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕪} and sighed. Let's try the backyard, it should have something.

I circled around around the outside making my way to the back, peering into the windows. The glass was slightly cracked in points, and most of the curtains were closed. I couldn't see in. Once I reached my backyard, I took a look around. This was where I got ejected out of in my last trip. There was this dead tree, curling like a tentacle, It was creepy and unnerving... My window gave a good view at the backyard, did I seriously never notice this dead tree?

To my surprise, the door leading into the "Basement" was still there. It was a wooden trap-door that seemed to lead into a stairway, the red paint was already faded and old. Stepping closer, I could see that it was open. But... Do I want to open this? I let out a yawn, my tired limbs could barely bring themselves to grab and pull on the handle, finally revealing its secrets. It was indeed a stairway, leading down. I had no other choice. ^{𝕊𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕'𝕧𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕪𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕪}

The sunlight from the outside helped me see my steps, it kept my footing. But as I went further down, and down, and down, the light began dissipating and at one point, it almost seemed to disappear. It felt like I was stepping on stone but the floor... It was completely black. A color that absorbed most of the light, making it impossible to see in the darkness. My steps echoed louder the further I went down.

At one point, I had to cast a spell. The horn light spell, yet again. I was tired though, the light wasn't as bright as it was just yesterday and it was hard to maintain this, despite that, I pressed forward. Eventually, the stairs stopped and I was finally in a floor... Somewhere. I could tell from the light around me that this was a corridor, and I pushed through.

I couldn't see ahead, but I could tell by the sound of my hooves that it was long. The sound seemed to travel forever forward, despite the darkness around me. I had to glance back a couple of times, it felt like I was being watched or followed and yet my attempts at finding this mystery observer remained futile. I couldn't see far enough in the darkness to determine where I was or what was happening.

I pressed forward.

I'm getting tired.

Whispers. 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕪 𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖?

The hallway turned left. Then right. Then a fork on the path. One path lead to the left and another to the right. A realization came to me, one which shook me to my very core. This wasn't a series of corridors. This was a labyrinth, designed to entrap. The light of my horn became dimmer, my limbs felt weak. My eyelids felt heavy. I yawned. I couldn't think straight. I can't stay. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕪.

I turned around but the corridor I had just came from... It closed in on me. I was trapped. I was trapped in the dark. I immediately ran up to the wall, my eyes widened in terror. I can't stay trapped here, I can't stay! I won't stay! 𝕀 𝕨𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕪. It's dark and cold. If I disappear nopony will ever even hear of me, would they realize I had disappeared? Would they come rescue me? Maybe Twilight, that is if the letter ever gets to her, and if she even decides to come over.

My heart was pounding, anxiety kicked in. I can't stay like this. I turned back and headed for the fork. I was trotting quicker than before now. I turned a corner. Then another. And another. The dark walls... They seemed to go up endlessly. There was no ceiling. The whispers kept getting louder, the sound of my hooves now galloping against the floor echoed through this distorted room. It twisted and turned, every step I took seemed like I was headed four other steps on the wrong direction. The darkness was suffocating, the air was heavy. I can't stand this. I can't.

𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥. 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥.

My fear turned into desperation. My heart was pounding, it was the only comforting noise that gave me a semblance of safety somehow. Another turn. Sweat was running down my forehead, my panting getting shallower and quicker. Another turn. Step after step I galloped in the unrelenting darkness, the light in my horn was almost gone by this point. I could barely focus on keeping the spell working, my restless condition contributed to everything. In a fit of sheer desperation, I called out.

"HELP!" I screamed. "HELP! PLEASE! SOMEPONY!" The only thing there to listen to my screams were the towering walls of the pitch-black maze.

Another turn. A dead end. I turned back to come through the way I had just been through but it was sealed shut. The wall had closed in yet again on me. I stepped back, my chest contracting with fear, anxiety. The terrible feeling of being trapped, hopeless. The feeling of being alone. I took a step back only to realize the dead end that I had seen now closed me in as well. I was confined. My body could barely move.

𝕀 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖. I covered my head with both front hooves, lowering my front to the ground. Tears rolled down my eyes. "MAKE IT STOP! LET ME LEAVE! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!" But nopony came. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't do anything else. I screamed, I begged to be set free. _{𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕖𝕟𝕕!}

This is my fault, this is what I get for my selfish isolation from society. My mind is consumed by self-blame, in this situation, it's the only thing I can blame. I suppose that this is my end. In this moment, my mind had fully surrendered. My eyes closed. My heart began slowing down and my quick shallow breathing became a steady sigh. The tears that once ran down my cheeks had now dried up as I lay on that cold dark floor. In that moment, it didn't matter what was the mystery of this house, or what it carried, or why it was tormenting me the way it was. In that moment, there is one thing I knew:

𝕀 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕕𝕚𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖.

𝕀 𝕒𝕞 			𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖		𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖				𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖				𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖	          			𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠			ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕞𝕖			 𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕	 𝕀 𝕒𝕞		𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖		𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖								𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖	          			𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖		𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖				𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖	          										𝕀 					 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕  𝕀 𝕒		ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕞𝕖				𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖					𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄									𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖											𝕄𝔸𝕂𝔼 𝕀𝕋 𝕊𝕋𝕆ℙ	        									𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕 										𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤		𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖				ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕞𝕖						𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖	          			ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕞𝕖
									𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖								𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖	          			𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖		𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖				𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖	          										𝕀 					 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕀 𝕒					ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕞𝕖				𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖																	𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖
			𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕤... 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪'𝕣𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕚𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕖...          			𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠			ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕞𝕖			 𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕							 𝕀 𝕒𝕞		𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖							𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖	          			𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖		𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖		

												

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Comments

[redmar]

Moondancer really has ost her grip on reality it seems.