I would recommend putting an empty line between each paragraph. It's easier to read stories which have had their paragraphs spaced out.
I glanced at your other story too. For being pure clop, your writing seems decent to me. If you want an editor (presently or in the future), PM me. I'd be willing to do line-by-line proofing for you.
I would recommend putting an empty line between each paragraph. It's easier to read stories which have had their paragraphs spaced out.
I glanced at your other story too. For being pure clop, your writing seems decent to me. If you want an editor (presently or in the future), PM me. I'd be willing to do line-by-line proofing for you.