The Adventures of Dobbelsteen Moerman

by TheDiceMan0407

Above Your Paygrade

July 19th 1010, 010:48

“Wh…- what are they saying?” Caramel Crunch said, albeit worried at the spectacle before him. “…Is it bad?”

“J-Just - hold still!” Glaring down below her, Sunrise Dare stuck her hoof up against the building to stabilize the tower of ponies. The entirety of Jungle Trek’s squad, and a few additional tag-a-longs, were crowded in the alleyway of the Town Hall, desperately working together to get a glimpse inside. Though, in terms of operational success and teamwork, it wasn’t going well. “Brisk, you are the WORST ladder foundation ever!”

“Oh, I’m SORRY, Sunrise!” The earth pony said, glaring up past Sapphire Stream, who worriedly looked at the ground. “There’s just a lot of WEIGHT to hold up, isn’t there?!”

Wild Strikes, meanwhile, was able to peek through the window using her wings, looking rather smug. “…Amateurs.”

Sunrise glared at both of them. “Caramel won’t be able to save you both.”

Not far from the tower of power, Steel Charts nervously glanced back and forth down the Town Hall alleyway. He did his best to keep as much of his weight off of his foreleg as possible. “Guys… what if somebody catches us? This is a really, really stupid idea!”

Shooting Steps huffed. “Don’t worry. I’ll see them coming.”

“Your eyes are on the tower!”

Her expression didn’t change. “It’s funny.”

“We’re LOOKOUTS! We need to LOOK OUT!”

Caramel Crunch glared at all of them. “Guys! They’re going to hear us!”

Wild Strikes leaned away from the window, her smug tone lifting off into a more kind manner of speaking. “They won’t hear us, Caramel. They’re doing too much of their own yelling.” She even lifted her hoof to do the age-old expression, “Cross-My-Heart-And-Hope-To-Die,” she ratted off, “Stick-A-Cupcake-In-My-Eye.”

Although the expression itself was lightning fast, caramel’s eyes went half-lidded at the flying pegasus’ whimsical flying. Although she was literally just hovering there, that's not what his goo-goo eyes saw. To him, it was almost a majestic waltz through the air. By Celestia, it really was a miracle Wild Strikes didn’t notice.

Everypony else, however, turned their heads. Sapphire Stream, shaking in the middle of the ladder, stopped to ponder the statement. “…Their Own?”

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Jungle Trek’s pupils shrunk to little more than dots. “M-Moerman, please stop -”

The Griffon’s claw was swiftly brought up in the air to cut him off, as his cheek held the phone between his shoulder and his beak. Despite being offered a chair no less than twenty minutes ago, Dobbelsteen had refused to remain standing still, let alone take a seat, as he trotted around the table as far as the telephone cord would allow him. “One moment, Sergeant. Sooner or later, I’ll get my customer service.” His head tilted. “Oh! Miss Inkwell? Finally, someone who I can talk to.”

Selenite’s head fell into her hooves. “Forgive him, Princess.”

“Oh they’re in a MEETING? Oh…” He brought the phone away and spoke aloud with a happy sigh, “Oh, it’s gonna be a great day.”
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Judging by how swiftly Raven Inkwell bucked open the doors, Celestia considered investing either in more guards, heavier wooden frames, or whatever physical fitness program her personal secretary was on.

Cutting directly through the roundabout discussions of the war council, Raven Inkwell trotted over to Princess Celestia. The Alicorn, however, kept her eyes on the various General officers and gathered ponies of influence around her. Spitfire, who was on the receiving end of a half-discussion, half-lecture from Prince Blueblood, eagerly leaned out of it to watch Raven cut through the room. Twilight Sparkle, who had been setting down reports and updating the sprawled-out map of Northern Equestria, which lay on the table, perked up, bringing with her the gaze of the gathered elements of harmony.

“She’s in quite the hurry.” Rarity said, worriedly leaning over to Applejack. “Oh, her mane even has strands loose!”

Applejack deadpanned away from the secretary to Rarity.

“It’s INKWELL, darling!” She hushed, “That is cause for concern!”

Raven herself took a deep breath, setting down a whole telephone receiver on the table, as two castle guards carried along a ridiculously long cord stretching out of the room. “Apologies, Princess,” Raven said, wiping her forehead with her hoof. “There are way too many stairs in this Castle.”

Luna tilted her head at the equipment, leaning down. “Miss Inkwell…” She said, casting a worried glance to her sister, Celestia. “Is something the matter?”

“There’s a war, dear sister,” Celestia said, taking a deep breath and lowering her gaze. “Something is always the matter.”

Raven Inkwell cleared her throat, as her hoof adjusted her thick-rimmed glasses against his brown mane. “This is my phone. Not many of our interns can really get the hang of the transfer system, so I figured I’d bring this call to you all.” She said, with a sigh. “Physically.”

“Call?” Twilight Sparkle leaned forward on the table, ahead of all of her friends. “From the frontline?”

Fluttershy looked at the telephone. “Is it who we think it is?”

To the side of the Princesses, who were seated at the center of the table, the faded eye of Constant Vigilance now paid full attention to the meeting. He gave a quick look at Blueblood, who sat almost in a cocoon of his fellow staff officers. The Prince’s half-lidded gaze regarded the telephone with a similar air to how he regarded most of everypony else. He leaned over to Celestia, giving her a small nudge. “I’ve seen a lot of things, Princess. I think I’m about to see another.”

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At the edge of the table, he waited. One of his claws had practically worn a dent into the handle of the phone with how often he was tapping against it. Moerman’s uniform, unbuttoned and hanging loosely upon him, showing a floral patterned undershirt, was the least of Selenite’s worries at this moment. The Thestral worriedly gave her glances to Jungle Trek, as the two soldiers tried to find the right words.

“General,” Selenite started, taking a deep breath. “Frustration is understandable, but this?” She said, gesturing to the table, “It's a bad idea.”

Dobbelsteen regarded her with a tilt of his head. “I was brought on as an advisor, and I am prepared to do some advising.”

“In a POLITE way, Dobbelsteen!” Jungle Trek said, his helmet resting on the table, and his brown mane curled around his eyes. “I’m already beyond my wits with how you’re able to call these kinds of people, let alone your attitude towards most of them!”

There was an audible click from the telephone, prompting all three soldiers to jolt into silence. Their gazes turned to the telephone, Dobbelsteen brought it away from his shoulder where it rested and out, loosely directed towards his beak.

“Uh… Mr. Moerman?”

Moerman took a breath. “Speaking.”

Hundreds of miles away, traveling through the wires of Moerman’s telephone, across rivers, towns, cities, and forests, the underground phone line led its way all the way up into the deepest halls of Canterlot’s mountainside castle. In an instant, the distance between the capital of Equestria and its far-reaching frontiers and cities, now under assault, was closed. Distance between them mattered little, as with the advent of communication, the atmosphere on the other side of the phone line transmitted into the halls of Canterlot. As the phone sang out the noise on the other end, everypony felt as if they were all in the same room, far north.

Raven Inkwell leaned back from the telephone, its volume cranked up as a speaker to all around the table. “As you requested.” She said, giving a nervous glance to her left and right. “You’re in the War Room. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna -”

Moerman, on the other side, lowered the phone and just shook his head at Jungle Trek. He gestured with the phone as if he could spin it into a fast-forward mode through all of the names and titles.

“Ahem.” Selenite glared, and Moerman brought the phone back up, his golden wings sinking behind him slightly.

“Thank you Miss Inkwell.” Dobbelsteen nodded in the direction of the phone as if she could see his respectful gesture through it. “I’m calling you to give my report, as requested. I hope I’m not… interrupting anything important.”

On the other side of the phone, Celestia spoke. “Not at all, Major,” She said, giving a quick glance to Raven Inkwell, however leaning back upon seeing she already had a notebook out, ready to scribe for the Princess. “We’ve-”

“Been eagerly awaiting it!” Called a voice from the other side of the table. Twilight Sparkle had her own notebook out, too. Glancing between them, Celestia began to wonder who would take better notes. That’s a hard call.

“Excellent, because it's not going to be short, and it's not going to be fun.” Moerman dropped himself into a chair as the telephone wire extended to accommodate. He gave a wink over to Selenite, as he spoke. “You would not believe the week I’ve had.”

Resigned to her fate, the short bat pony took a seat as well, while Jungle Trek searched around the room for more coffee. This was going to be a long meeting.

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The occupants of the war room couldn’t help from leaning in. Spitfire’s sunglasses were slowly pulled off of her muzzle and placed on the table in front of her, her eyes darting from the broadcasting phone and the rest of the table. Leaning away from the entourage of officers, Spitfire whispered to the blue Pegasus next to her. “Rainbow Dash…” She said, in a hushed tone. “The Wonderbolts need to steal whatever training the Griffons have.”

Rainbow Dash, eyes wide, could hardly stay still. “W-What happened next?!” She said, throwing up her hooves. “I haven’t heard this much action since A.K. Yearling’s latest Daring Do novel!”

“Hey…” Cracked the voice over the telephone, “I know those books.”

Moerman was snapped out of his recollection, but not his attitude. “Writing action is easy.” He said, leaning out of his chair and giving a glance around the room. “But if I were to put to paper the stupidity I have seen on the part of our Officers, well that’s just lazy writing.”

Selenite’s ears drooped.

Back in the War Room, everypony was jolted from the recollection of the day’s events to the harsh words of the present accusation. Prince Blueblood himself straightened himself at the table, squinting at the telephone. “...I beg your pardon?”

Moerman covered the speaking end of the phone, pressing it into his uniform. “How did he know I was talking about him?” He said with a grin.

Jungle Trek did his best to stifle a laugh, yet still tried to wildly motion to his Griffon friend to stop. Either the gestures weren’t vibrant enough, or Moerman simply didn’t care. The latter was the safer bet, as he brought the telephone back up. “What I mean to say, is this rigidity that your Army has decided to choke itself under.” He pushed up his sunglasses on his beak. “If anypony in this room has experience with a battlefield, you know it is the least pretty, or orderly thing creature kind could conceive, and planning for it to be such is to lose before you can fight.”

As the telephone carried Moerman’s words, Princess Celestia’s eyes glanced towards her left, towards her sister, who was already looking at her. Receiving a nod from Luna, she turned to her right, towards the scarred Earth Pony, Constant Vigilance. She received another nod, as the telephone carried on.

“Which…” Dobbelsteen said, scratching the feathers on his head with his free claw. “is exactly what you all have done. I’ve been informed that counter-offensives are being strictly policed, that defensive positions are not to be abandoned, or, Tartarus, even modified without significant approval from higher command -” He stopped, before leveling his eyes on Selenite.

The bat pony swiftly raised her hooves, beginning to cross them in a ‘NO, NO, NO’ fashion, swiftly trying to interrupt the message he was about to give.

It only motivated the Griffon. “I have EVEN been informed that artillery support is limited to divisional commanders. Keeping them out of the hooves of subordinate units has strangled any subordinate -”

“Who is this nopony we’re subjecting our ears to?” Crackled the telephone, and Moerman actually stopped in his tracks, not even noticing that he was pacing.

Over in Canterlot, Prince Blueblood spoke up from a sea of Equestrian Generals, some of them looking far more agitated at the telephone than others, but none as much as Blueblood. “They were my direct orders. I could spend all the time in the world detailing to YOU, Mr. Moerman, the importance of amassing fires and bombardment against an enemy based upon its firepower, but I figure it’d be lost upon you.”

Surprise. Pure, unadulterated shock. Then, turning his head, the Griffon holding the phone pressed it deep against his uniform, to hide the words he said to Jungle Trek and Selenite. “I have killed creatures for less.”

Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed when Selenite took the phone.

“Artillery won’t be lost upon me, General Blueblood.”

Never mind, her head was not cool either, especially with the tone Selenite so easily recognized. “I do not appreciate the way you communicate to the most direct account of the frontline, but I will not be as brash as our advisor is. I know it must be difficult to see it from behind those walls, sir.”

Jungle Trek leaned over towards the table, “Uh…Moerman?”

The Griffon didn’t take his eyes off the phone, mumbling to himself. “Doesn’t even know what a bullet feels like…”

If Prince Blueblood thought he would gain an ally by looking to Princess Luna, that idea was quickly shot down by the oppressive stare that Luna gave the Noblepony. The telephone did all the speaking for her, even as Blueblood attempted to get a word in. “This is a war conducted over entire fronts, you can not limit your assessment of the war to anecdotal battles -”

Selenite spoke quickly, “I understand, sir. I am merely asking you to consider the perspective of Moerman…” She paused, taking a deep breath. “And myself. I believe it would be better to delegate commanding authority down to the lowest level possible, it could -”

“What would you know of commanding authority, General?”

Selenite tilted her head at the phone, leaning away from it. Jungle Trek just appeared confused, while Moerman still stared at the phone.

“I’m sure not as much as you, sir. Much like you would not know how to operate a gun team as well as I.” Selenite stated, bringing her hoof up. “Guns can operate as teams, not entire batteries, they don't have to be restricted-”

In the War Room, Prince Blueblood stared the phone down from his surrounding entourage of Officers. “I care not for what you perceive. Your inability to understand the bigger picture of this war does not warrant my long-winded explanation, especially since there are much better things to concern oneself with.”

Princess Luna leaned forward, and now the War Room was scared for real. “Tell me, Blueblood.” She said, giving a quick glare to her sister. “Do you have greater concerns than one of my most trusted officers?”

Blueblood winced, but still maintained his ground. “Indeed, Princess. Like winning this war.”

“Wars may be written to be won by ponies like you, but the battles are won by soldiers. Like the ones who died these past few days because of your incompetence.”

The telephone’s voice had changed, and Dobbelsteen Moerman had the phone back in his claw. Jungle Trek swiftly nudged Selenite, and now the two were both leaning away from the Griffon. Back in the War Room, Prince Blueblood recoiled in disgust.

“You have NO commanding authority in this war, Mr. Moerman. Especially none to question the strategy of the larger war -”

“That’s exactly what I was invited to do!”

Twilight Sparkle slowly lifted her head from behind her notebook, her friends, also known as the elements of harmony, all crowding around her as well. Raven Inkwell’s eyes regarded the situation before her with confusion, while Constant Vigilance, between the two Princesses, sort of had a mix of bewilderment and amusement on his face.

“You are a FRONTLINE OFFICER, , not a decision-maker!”

“I wonder how many ponies you’ve gotten killed because of your haughty decision-making in that ivory -!.”

“Mr. Moerman.”

Called a voice, one that pierced the phone line and shook the Griffon out of his steel-eyed anger. Behind his sunglasses, his eyes darted over to Jungle Trek, mouthing. ‘Who is that?’

Celestia’s eyes tore harsher than her words ever could, and now they were piercing right at Prince Blueblood. “I will not tolerate this level of unprofessionalism ever again.” She lowered her gaze to the phone. “That is a thought I do not wish to entertain, Mr. Moerman, and I do not appreciate a statistic such as that being used to win a petty argument over actually executing on your statement and apparent belief.”

Dobbelsteen Moerman actually took off his sunglasses. “Uh…N-No, that’s…that’s not what I meant.”

“And you, nephew,” She said, looking directly back to Blueblood. “If advice is to be given by trusted sources, ones which I have specifically requested to be used to shape our defensive strategy, that is exactly what they will do. It is your duty to listen to those in the fight.”

From such a calm, reasonable pony such as Princess Celestia, even the slightest hint of unfriendliness cut sharper than any sword into the hearts of all who listened, even those not directly mentioned. They soon would be, as Celestia leaned forward from her place at the table, and dragged her gaze at all of its occupants. “Have I made myself clear to everypony here?”

Quick nods were seen from all creatures in attendance. Even on the other side of the phone line, Moerman nodded.

“Good.” Celestia leaned back, her old voice returning. “No more dwelling upon that, then. If what you say is true, Mr. Moerman, perhaps a more decentralized approach to our command structure, at least in the coming battles, could bring us far better luck.” She said, giving a look over to her sister.

Princess Luna now spoke, flashing a small smile at her sister. “I agree. I place the utmost trust in my Officers. If Selenite gives a recommendation, I would be made a fool not to consider it and give it the due process it requires to test.”

The Thestral practically beamed, even as Jungle Trek and Dobbelsteen were still frozen in fear.

“We won't, uh… have to look far.” Twilight Sparkle said, leaning out of her notebook. “If these intelligence reports are true, after the encirclement of Tall Tale, Changeling Forces are preparing to advance through the Pine Creek valley, presumably to the city of Yonderhill.”

“That’s where Swift Wing went off to. The Pine Creek Valley is swampy, forested, their armored forces will have a harder time advancing here.”

“We shouldn’t underestimate them now, Mr. Moerman.”

“...Yeah, you’re right. I can get a better look at them by heading north with my forces from Salt Lick. But… in advance, I’d recommend sending whatever you can to Yonderhill. Losing that much ground…”

Celestia thought on his words. “Can you beat them back, Major?” She leaned forward, and with that action brought the attention of the entire War Room upon her. “Equestria needs a victory. Up until now, the Changelings have had no point where they were halted dead in their tracks. If your exploits of the last couple of days have all been true, and I have the mission reports to believe they are… can I ask of you one more battle?”

The phone stayed silent for a moment.

“I can slow them. I can use the terrain, tear them apart, and make their journey to Yonderhill a nightmare. But in the defense of the City? I cannot do that on my own; not enough soldiers, not enough time. But I promise, reinforcements or not, I will be there.”

Princess Celestia’s face softened, and with it the whole room took a deep breath. “Alright..” The Princess said, tilting her head to look up at the room. “We will force an engagement on the approach to Yonderhill. A battle my ponies will not run from.”

Dobbelsteen Moerman lowered his head. “You need not worry about that, Commander.” He took a deep breath, “Your ponies were short on a great many things…”

“Bravery,” His voice, carried through the telephone, fell heavy on the hearts of the war room. “was not one of them.”

A voice, with an accent as thick as brush in the forest, spoke from the table. “Ah’ll go, Princess,” Applejack said, her hat in her hoof. “Pinkie ain’t that far off from Yonderhill. She’n I can bring some ponies there n’ make it a fortress.” She gave a stern nod, determined to please both of the Princesses. “We’ll beat ‘em back, I swear ta’ ya’ on that, ma’am.”

Rainbow Dash grinned, “Oh, now you’ll TOTALLY win if Applejack’s coming to help. Nopony in this world is tougher than her.” She brought her wings back to her side, effortlessly landing on the floor. “Well… except for me.”

“Mr. Moerman?” From the side of Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy spoke. “...You uh… said a lot of pretty scary things, Mr. Moerman. I can’t imagine what it was like at Tall Tale.” She gave a quick glance to the ponies on each side of her. “...We can win, though… right?” She nodded directly at Applejack and Rainbow Dash. “I don't want any of my friends to be hurt.”

On the other side of the phone line, Dobbelsteen held the phone in his claw loosely. His claw gently tapped on it, as his eyes cascaded down to glance at the map of the Pine Creek Valley. It was treacherous, downright inhospitable terrain, and his last combat engagement ended with him running for his life. Dobbelsteen took a deep breath and nodded towards Jungle Trek.

“If I didn’t think we could win, I wouldn’t be here.” The phone crackled, as Moerman grabbed his sunglasses, placing them back on his beak. “And I won’t be going nowhere.”

Trek grabbed his helmet, and loaded his rifle.

Comments

[sirenc0re]

seems like things are about to heat up 😈😈