Here we Shall Build a Workshop
It was another busy morning at Falmouth Docks, and the engines who could shunt in the docks were working very hard. But no matter what they did the workload never seemed to become easier. No sooner would one load of cargo appear then another two would take its place. Some would argue the place had become a victim of its own success.
One morning, Porter was running late, and rolled into the yard behind schedule, keen to get back on time. The yard foreman was quick to criticise. "Late again?" he asked, looking annoyed. "These ships have important cargo to deliver. If they aren't unloaded on time they shall miss the tide and be stuck in the docks. You should look up to ships and make sure they get their goods delivered on time. After all, ships are what make international commerce possible."
"We have far too much work!" Porter protested. "This dockside was never intended to process this level of shipping!"
The foreman shrugged. "Then perhaps a lorry should replace all of you!"
"A Lorry?!" Porter exclaimed.
"A Lorry?!" Izzy exclaimed.
"Yes, a lorry," the foreman replied. "They have four wheels and drive freight around. I'm surprised neither of you are familiar with the concept."
Porter and Izzy hurried back to the shed to tell the others what the dockhand had said. They were not convinced, to say the least.
"Sorry, but I have a pretty hard time believing that they'd replace us with lorries," Sophie said. "Have you seen how congested the roads around Falmouth are these days?"
"Not only is moving freight by rail more efficient," Sunny began, "but it's also a good deal better for the environment." She pointed to a line of trucks. "All of those pulled by one engine will produce less carbon dioxide than the cargo being loaded into thirty lorries."
"Besides," Charles interrupted, "shipping freight by rail is a national institution. It's as British as Queen Victoria!"
"So, it's half German, it's father was German, and it married a German?" Ray quipped.
Charles snorted. "Ray, the King is German, but you don't start singing Deutschland, Deutschland über alles whenever he appears on the TV!"
"I do."
Bellerophon looked over with a sympathetic eye. "I imagine things will be OK," he said warmly. "The dockhands say all sorts of things. Not all of them are intelligent."
But Izzy couldn't help but worry. What if a lorry did come?
Unfortunately, they did. A few days later, three red lorries were unloaded from a ship and placed on the dockside. One of them was very rude to Porter.
"What's that pile of junk doing here?" he asked. "Don't you belong in a retirement home?"
"I'm not old!" Izzy protested.
"I was talking about the steam engine."
"I'd like to see you do the work we do around the dockyard," Porter snapped. "Can you shunt trucks?"
"There'd be no need for trucks if they simply embraced lorry transport around here," said another lorry. "Free the roads!"
On the other side of the dockyard, Porter could see a third lorry being rude to Salty and Sophie, and so he went over to take a look.
"Who put the museum pieces out here?" the lorry said. "No wonder this country is in such a mess if it's stuck in the 1950s. Welcome to the future." And he drove off.
Salty looked very annoyed. "Well, shiver me cylinders! What a Horrid Lorry!"
"This behaviour is disgusting!" Sunny added. "Whilst I am a believer in freedom of speech, that sort of rudeness was completely uncalled for."
"It's despicable," Sophie agreed. "Though I'm not sure about disgraceful. Something must be done!"
Pipp leaned out of the cab as she got an idea. "Guys, I've got an idea. I'll soon have us back on the map!"
"So, remind me why we're walking through a completely empty building," Hitch asked.
"Well, part of it's for the spooky vibes," Pipp grinned. "Don't you just love it in here?"
"Not hugely," Hitch admitted, as he heard a ham radio go off. He walked over and turned it off. "I've been in here before, but the entire place looks different with the lights off. What if there are trip hazards?"
"Hitch does a point Pipp," Zipp pointed out. "This entire building feels like everybody just upped and left."
"Which is exactly why I love it!"
Hitch stepped over to Zipp. "I know she organised the haunted house and parties and things, but has this always been the case?"
"Yup," Zipp replied, leaning against a metal object. "Pipp once convinced mom that the ghosts of our ancestors were haunting a wing of Purbeck House. She still goes the long way round at night."
"That seems a bit mean."
"What sort of horrors lurck in these mysterious corners?" Pipp asked rhetorically, briefly appearing upside down before them.
"Well, places where bad things happened are often haunted," Hitch noted. "Battlefields, stuff like that."
"Seems like you guys just forgot the place existed," Zipp noted, looking at more objects. "Somebody sure dumped huge amounts of rolling stock in here. What will become of it now?"
"That's my plan," Pipp smiled. "We renovate the interior and turn it into a locomotive, carriage, and wagon workshop! We've rather outgrown the old shed, so we can do overhauls and similar in here and active locomotives can stay in the shed!"
Hitch looked at Pipp. "Are you sure we can make changes to the inside of the old factory? We don't own the building."
"Relax!" Pipp replied. "It's not as if anybody's using it."
"Pipp, that's not the point."
"So," Pipp said, "shall we start cleaning the place out? With Charles, Sophie, and Rebecca, we'll have this place cleaned out in a jiffy!"
"Sorry, but I've got some decoding to do," Zipp said. "I'm so close to figuring out what Awdry was talking about in his message, so kinda wanna work on that."
"Just the two of us, then," Hitch sighed. "Oh well. No big problem. Let's go and get this place cleaned."
As he and Pipp set off for the engine shed, neither of them spotted somebody watching them.
Zipp got back home and quickly loaded the message on her laptop. She popped a pair of earphones on and began to listen.
But now the crystals are back together, and you must be on your guard. You must protect the [STATIC] from [STATIC], or else the-"
Zipp checked her notes from the Sodor trip, and then connected the dots. "The person mentioned in the static is Opaline! Well, where it makes sense, of course." She then replayed the last part of the message again. "But what did Awdry say next that is impossible to decipher? This is ridiculous!"
Zipp didn't know that Boomer was livestreaming the entire conversation through a pair of binoculars back to Opaline. "So, it seems the Reverend was directly involved in our little friends and their shenanigans," Boomer said.
"Just expect a man like him to make things difficult for this country's true ruler!" Opaline complained. "There's only a matter of time until they spot we're back in business, as I had to rather lie low after last summer's fiasco with the lost engine. But we must make sure we get a new supply of Spectra, or possibly something even more potent... the gold dust."
"Why not just steal the crystals?"
There was a pause. "I haven't built up enough power yet. If I attempt to harness their power in my current state they could be destroyed, and we'd lose the very magic I need to take control of the world. But there is one form I am interested in understanding, and that's gold dust."
"I assume that's our next target."
"No. Not yet. Before then I have a very specific mission for you. Remember; Project SENTINEL cannot fail."
Misty and Bellerophon were busy shunting in Lighthouse Quarry when they ran into another lorry. The lorry was very rude. "Well, no wonder this railway is in such a mess. You belong on a preserved railway, not in a quarry."
"I may look old but I'm very useful!" Bellerophon protested.
"Just tootle off and let us do our work," the lorry said.
Bellerophon looked shocked. "What did you say?"
Misty glanced over. "Oh, uh, I just remembered we have some, err, stuff to take to Falmouth! Let's go!"
The lorry laughed. "Careful, old timer! Watch you don't burst a steam pipe!"
But when Bellerophon arrived at the freight yard, he saw another lorry being loaded with things. "You're too slow!" the lorry laughed as he drove off. "It's safer by road!
The foreman looked at the pair. "Sorry about him," he said. "Orders from higher up. We're giving the lorries a trial run, and in order to test them properly we must give them work to do."
"We can still be useful!" Misty said confidently. "I'm certain there's some goods that can't be moved by road, right?"
Bellerophon wasn't so sure.
Meanwhile, Sophie and Rebecca were being put to use shifting the old junk out of the factory. Things were being piled into boxes and placed inside vans, which were then taken to the sidings for collection.
"I don't understand why we didn't remember this place!" Sophie said. "It's so handy for this sort of thing!"
"I can only assume the place brought back bad memories for the townsfolk," Rebecca offered, "so they left it alone."
As they worked, more and more junk was found deeper and deeper in. Even complete rail vehicles were located, just completely abandoned.
"These passenger coaches would be seriously useful with the current traffic volumes," Hitch noted, as he buffered Rebecca up to the coaches.
"Maybe we could restore them as a proof of concept?" Rebecca suggested.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash, and a man with white hair fell over some boxes.
"Are you alright?" Pipp asked, and ran over to help him.
The old man dusted himself off and looked at them. "Nice to see you decided to help yourselves to the place," he said.
"Who are you?" asked Pipp.
"I'm Mr Warden. I'm the security guard for the building. The council asked me to look after the place whilst it was being renovated. I assume you two are the assigned team for the job?"
"Yes we are!" Pipp smiled.
"Hopefully we haven't messed anything up," Hitch said.
Mr Warden laughed. "Given the previous owners of the building smashed most of the town up with that machine of theirs, I doubt you two could cause much damage. Let's keep going- we've got much more building to clean out. Not to mention there's a rat infestation to deal with."
"RATS?!" Sophie exclaimed. "You didn't tell me there was a group of Class 25s in here!"
"Not that type of rat," Pipp said.
Meanwhile, Zipp was still trying to puzzle out the message. "Right, so if the crystals are the source of the power, then in order to figure out how it works we need to check a magical object. There was a distinct decline in the number of non faceless vehicles over the last 50 years, so if I can find one that remained able to speak during that time we can come up with a solution."
Just then she had a brainwave. "Of course! I'll ask Salty what it was like! That way we can put countermeasures into place!"
Just then the door opened. Lord Haven was on the other side. "Zipp, I don't mean to intrude, but who were you talking to?"
Zipp glanced over. "You know how in old detective movies where the detective talks to themselves?"
Back in the factory, the trio had found the rest of the things- and the rats. The rats, however, were not very cooperative, and began running around like annoying things. "Why does this keep happening to us?" Pipp asked.
"Can't we just burn them out?" Hitch suggested.
"And set fire to the factory?" Mr Warden replied. "It was so easy to put the fire out the first time around!"
After some more running around, Pipp was getting desparate. So she tried the last trick in her arsenal. Music.
"All you need is your beat/ (beat)
Hey, come on!
To get them stomping their feet! (feet!)
And then the next thing you'll know/
Imagination will flow/
All you need is your beat/
All you need is your beat!" (beat)
But the rats didn't react. If anything, they became even more annoying.
"If you two can't find any other solution, we're going to have to put down poison traps," Mr Warden said.
Hitch glanced to Pipp. "I think we should try everything we have."
The two of them sighed as they tried to come up with ideas. But the rats perked up.
Mr Warden looked at them. "Do that again."
"Do what again?" Pipp asked.
"Sigh in thirds," Mr Warden replied. "It seemed to attract the rats!"
"Like the Pied Piper of Hamlin!" Hitch realised. "I'm up for that!"
So they sighed again- in thirds. The rats were definitely paying attention now.
And just then the idea for a new song floated into Pipp's mind.
"Makin' a Plan!" she sang.
"Lendin' a Hand!" Hitch added.
Then Pipp again. "Helpin' a friend is-"
"Ni-ee-i-ee-i-i-i-ice!" they sang together, and began walking backwards at the same time.
"Work together!" Hitch added.
"Two heads are better!" Pipp noted.
"Findin' new ways/
To fly-ee-y-ee-y-y-y-y!" they sang at once.
"With a little bit of confidence!" Pipp noted.
"And a little bit of kindness!" Hitch added.
And then both sang together in harmony:
"We can make it fun! To! Do!
"Work together, make it better/
Workin' smarter with each other!
Work together, make it better/
We are stronger with each other!
"Work, work, let's unite/
Everybody shining bright/
Work, work, work it out/
Everybody shout it loud!"
Before they knew what had happened, they were outside. And the mice had come with them and had happily scampered off somewhere else.
"We did it!" Hitch said. "Great work, Pipp."
"Thanks, Hitch," Pipp smiled. "Can't really sing a duet with one person. Now then, let's clean the rest of that junk out."
There is a section of the line where the road and the railway are almost at the same level. The road is separated from the rails by a wooden fence, and drivers have to drive carefully.
Bellerophon looked over to see the lorry from the quarry roar past with a heavy load of stone. "He'll have a hard time slowing down!" he said.
Misty looked forward and sounded the whistle. "Look out! Incoming traffic!"
The lorry looked back. "Very funny, but you no- WHAT THE?!"
The lorry swerved to avoid hitting a bus- and immediately flew off the road. It crashed through the fence, skidded down the embankment, and crashed at the bottom with a bang, covering the rails with its load of stone.
Bellerophon blinked. "I assume it's not supposed to do that."
The driver of the lorry was unhurt. But he was dazed. "Rotton roads," he grumbled.
Misty laughed. "What was that about it being safer by road?"
The lorry growled angrily at her, but otherwise could do nothing.
The three lorries were taken to Falmouth Docks, where safe to say the engines were delighting in the fact karma had bit them in the tailpipe. "Look at this mess!" Porter joked. "Who brought this load of steaming scrap iron here, eh?"
One of the lorries growled at him. "We'll be back, so you can wipe that silly smile off your smokebox."
Just then, Bellerophon arrived, chortling like a traction engine. "What happened to the others?"
Izzy was more than happy to tell the story. "Well, one of them broke down on a level crossing as he'd been overloaded. Not very reliable, eh? And the other reversed into the sea!"
Charles, who had now arrived, roared with laughter. "What does he think he is? A Toyota Hilux?"
Salty cheered as he rolled in. "The brothers grim, Smashed, Broken, and Sunk, united at last! I think we'll be glad to see the back of them, me hearties!"
Life at the docks soon went back to normal, and with the new facility maintenance was easier than ever. But it just goes to show that sometimes you cannot beat tried and true technology.
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Okay, this had to be the most unique way of adapting Horrid Lorries I have ever seen!
I don’t know much on this Project Sentinel, but knowing the psychopaths behind it, it cannot be good.
11789755
I recall when I first watched Top Remodel that I thought the two stories would fit together quite naturally.
11789778
Well, it certainly works. And if you ask me, having the Top Gear cast criticize the lorries in question is extremely satisfying.
11789781
Especially given the famous parody clip where the lorries are used to portray the trio in the Sports Lorry segment:
11789783
Absolutely!
11789784
It's also satisfying given the number of lorries they've wrecked.
awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter moral is all talk and no action
It's obvious where this is going.
And here I thought only Bulgy said that.
That's a brilliant idea!!!!!
Looks like Boomer escaped jail!
"But now*
Oh?
by road!"*
What?
You were mostly to blame for it, may I remind you.
11789864
Indeed.
11789891
Thank you!
11789920
1. Indeed.
2. The line fitted the theme, I thought. Of course, karma will bitte them in the tailpipe-like Bulgy.
3. Indeed.
4. The guy arrested in the previous chapter wasn't Boomer.
5. Corrected.
6. More on that later.
7. Also corrected.
8. Rat is the nickname for the British Railways Class 25, which was the most numerous class of diesel at 327 built. As a result, they got everywhere-like rats do.
9. Indeed. Lazy driving.
11790013
And now these three villains are out of the way.
11790087
Aye. If they stuck around longer, they would've likely tried stealing all the engines' work.
11790091
And nobody wants that, do they?
11790086
4. Damn it.
8. Got it.
11790218
No. But. at the same time, they’d be wasting their time, since the roads in Falmouth were said to foul up here and there.
11790254
Hey, no worries!
11790493
Indeed they are. The same is true of much of Cornwall, as there's only two A Roads into and out of the county (an A road is roughly equivalent to a non-Insterstate Highway).