The Eclipse Bureau

by Unicorncob

1 - More Equal Than Others

The Unicorn trotted toward the church, and stopped at the doors with her ear perked up. A chilly night breeze flowed through her mane.

Preacher’s having fun in there, she thought, and looked at the banners by the door. Equal signs were crudely painted over the images of a sun. I daresay Celestia wouldn’t be too pleased if she saw this.

She stretched out her legs and took a deep breath as she recalled the plan.

Walk inside, get the leader’s attention, give them the ‘I’ve seen the light’ crap, get their guard down, Buck’s your uncle. Aye, we’ve got this.

She pushed open the doors with her magic, and was instantly assaulted by a barrage of rhetoric.

“It is not for the marks on our flanks to dictate how we live!” bellowed the Unicorn stallion from the altar. A mare stood next to him, trying her best to have the best sneer in the room. “Nor do they have the right to decide who is more deserving of power! True happiness lies where we can all live on equal standing! And soon, the whole world will know the joy of Equalhood by our hooves!”

The interior was brightly lit by the large candle sconces along the walls. The Unicorn was taken aback by how every pew was filled by Ponies of all ages and species, hanging on the preacher’s every word and letting out the occasional cheer. As she expected, everypony in attendance bore the same equal sign on their flanks.

Luna almighty, there are foals here.

“And what is this?” the preacher said. She looked up and frowned as she saw him looking right at her. “Do we have another who wishes to join the family?”

Her heart skipped a beat when, in perfect sync, every pair of eyes in the pews locked onto her. All those blank, glassy stares...

Keep to the plan, Ruby.

“Uh, yes!” she called back, in her natural Shireland brogue. “I want to know the joys of a life where everypony is the same! Hallelujah and et cetera!”

“A glorious evening!” he cried, and beckoned her to approach. “Tell us your name, sister.”

“Ruby Glow, brother,” she said, walking up the aisle to the altar. She locked eyes with the mare up there for a split-second, watching her reach into her jacket pocket. She sported an equal sign, but oddly enough, the stallion’s cutie mark was quite literally an open book.

“Dearest Ruby Glow,” he said, his voice echoing through the hall, “you have taken the first step toward the beautiful new world of Equalhood. Please, show us your cutie mark.”

Ruby lifted her legs out of the sleeves of her black leather trenchcoat, and used her magic to lift it off her body. Her namesake ruby fur was on full display, complimenting her red bedhead and frizzy tail. She raised an eyebrow as the crowd scowled and grumbled at her cutie mark - purple and pink streams of light circling a black eye.

“Not to worry, brothers and sisters,” the preacher said, his horn starting to glow, “young Ruby Glow will soon be free of her chains and be one with Equalhood.”

His magic aura wrapped around Ruby's cutie Mark and began to tug at it. He grunted and huffed, jerking his head back a few times. Ruby brushed a hoof on the floor and began to whistle a tune. After a particularly strong pull, he stopped and wiped his brow, letting go of the cutie mark. His eyes widened when he saw some white bars come down over Ruby's flank, fading away with a sound like a lock being fastened.

"There, um, seems to be some kind of spell on you, sister."

"Oh bugger, sorry about that," Ruby said, facehoofing. "Completely forgot I put on a Cutie Seal before I came 'round."

"A what, sorry?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"Just this wee counter-curse that was developed not long after somepony else tried this very same 'equal mark cult' shite. Though I don't think Fiducia Compelus was involved back then, especially not combined with Cogeria and Persuadere. Bit of a historian, are we?"

Ruby didn't try to hide her satisfaction when the preacher's breathing quickened and he began to sweat more.

"H-how did you…?" he murmured.

"Not to brag but I like to think I'm good at recognising spells," Ruby boasted, then nodded to his flank. "Also, the good brother not practising what he preaches was a dead giveaway."

His horn glowed again, and Ruby found that her hooves were stuck to the floor, trapped in his aura. She looked up and saw his face contorted into a scowl that fit him disturbingly well.

“You think you’re the first? You think you’re clever?” he snarled, getting nose-to-nose with her. “I’ve had cops, royal guards and detectives sniffing about, getting far too close. And you know what I did with them?”

“I’m sure you’re dying to tell me,” Ruby snarked, then her head was magically forced to turn toward the crowd and their blank, wide smiles. “Ow.”

“They joined my family,” he went on. “I took everything away from them. Their cutie marks, their quirks, their personalities. And once I spread Equalhood across the Griffish Isles, I’ll move onto the Equestria mainland. Then nopony can lord their superior skills over mine. I’ll be the only Pony--no, the only creature left with any magical talent!”

Ruby raised an eyebrow. “All this because you have a bit of an inferiority complex? Did you at least talk to a therapist? Because all this is a bit of a jump.”

The preacher sighed through his teeth. “Now, if you’ll be a dear and let my assistant hold you in place, we’ll give you a nice ring for your horn so we can begin your journey to Equalhood. And kindly keep quiet. Very quiet.”

The mare behind him reached into her pocket again and walked up. She and Ruby locked eyes once again, almost like one was daring the other to make a move. It was the mare who obliged, by lifting out an ominous black ring. For the first time, Ruby’s smarmy glare broke when she got a look at it. She swallowed.

“Is that…?”

The mare shifted without warning. Nopony had time to react.

“What the-?!” the preacher barked as the ring slipped onto his horn. “What is this?! You traitor!”

“Not quite,” the mare said, then with a wipe of magical light, standing in her place was a light green Changeling with violet eyes, wearing a trenchcoat similar to Ruby’s. “I’m more of a spy than a traitor. We’ve been on your tail for a little while now, Sealight.”

“What?!” he spluttered. “Wait, then where’s…?”

“Resting off a nasty bump on the noggin in a closet,” the Changeling answered. “She’ll be fine.”

“Oh, also,” Ruby added, poking her head out from behind, “you’re under arrest for the usage of outlawed spells without a permit.”

“Under arrest?!” he spat. “Who are you? Undercover cops? Royal Guards?”

“We’re not at liberty to tell you,” the Changeling said, passing Ruby her trenchcoat. “But you’ll wish you were dealing with the Guard.”

Sealight got a glimpse of the pin on both coats’ lapels–a black ring, with purple wave-like shapes looping around the band. The inside was yellow, with a blue crescent cut into it. He didn’t recognise the image, but at the moment, he didn’t care.

He grit his teeth hard enough to nearly crack them. “Well, as far as anypony besides us knows, I’m innocent!”

“So you won’t mind if we have our guys do a quick scan of your horn for what magic you’ve used recently?” Ruby asked, flexing her brow when she saw him pale. “Oh yeah, we have spells for spells now.”

The Changeling reached into her pocket and pulled out a little recording device, playing a small snippet of his rant from a few moments ago. “A vocal confession never hurt either.”

“What now, boyo?” Ruby grinned. “Gonna get your mates to have a go at us?”

“Slaves!” the preacher snapped. “Protect your master!”

Ruby faltered. “Crap.”

Without missing a beat, everypony in the pews got to their hooves in perfect sync. They began a perfect march to the altar, their hoofbeats echoing. Ruby and the Changeling exchanged glances; these were all brainwashed innocents, so there wasn’t much they could do in terms of offensive manoeuvres.

Just as the mob got close enough to climb up the platform, the two’s salvation came in the form of two falling angels--well, a Griffon and a Batpony dropping down from the rafters--creating a wide semi-circle. Both wore a trenchcoat, but the Griffon also sported a wide-brimmed hat.

“All of you, back up,” the Griffon ordered, pulling a crossbow from his back and waving it at the crowd. “This thing’s loaded, and I will use it.”

“And you do not want to know what I will do,” the Batpony added, her smooth voice carrying a Roamanian lilt.

“Halt! Hold your ground!” Sealight yelped, the Ponies obeying right away. Even he realised that casualties would just make things even messier for him.

“Alrighty,” Ruby said, using her magic to lift Sealight to her face, “where’re the cutie marks? I’m takin’ these folks home.”

“I’ll never talk,” he snarled. “You’ll never stop Equalhood. I’ll be back and–”

“It’s equality,” the Changeling interrupted. “Every time you say that stupid made-up word, I have to fight the urge to punch you in the mouth.”

Ruby simply dropped the preacher and her horn lit with an aura befitting her name. She closed her eyes, and through the darkness she saw figures shimmering with light. The dark blue silhouette of the preacher was slumped at her hooves, the Changeling a mossy green, the Griffon a steel grey matching his feathers, and the Batpony violet like her coat. The crowd of Ponies were all faded colours, pulses of black emanating from their flanks. As expected, their magic was weak and repressed.

She turned her head to each side, then halted as she looked up. A strong, rainbow-like cluster of magic was shimmering high above, desperate for attention. She smirked and cancelled the spell, opening their eyes.

“They’re up in the bell tower,” she reported. “I’ll go pick ‘em up. Tarsis, you wanna keep an eye on Chuckles?"

"Nothing would please me more," the Changeling remarked.

"Graham, Van, you two stay on crowd control.”

"Got it, boss," Graham said with a salute of his free talons. Vanessa gave a curt but eager nod.

“Wha–you found them?!” Sealight gasped. “How?!”

“Oh, I can see the magic from anycreature nearby," Ruby explained, then added with a taunting wiggle of her flanks, "It's my special talent."

Before Sealight could begin another rant, Ruby trotted through a back door and followed the signs to the tower. She headed for the stairs and, upon seeing just how high they spiralled up, elected to levitate herself up to the belfry. When she let herself go, her trenchcoat flapped in the chilly breeze and she allowed herself to shiver a little.

“Here, little cutie marks,” she muttered, looking around and tutting like she was trying to coax an animal to her. Using her horn as a torch, it didn’t take too long to find something that was rather out of place; in the corner, nestled out of the wind, was a large burlap sack. Undoing the rope holding it closed, she found a large pile of jars inside, each carrying a charming little picture floating inside. “Hiding them way up here. Very inconspicuous, if a bit dramatic. Alrighty, let’s get you all home.”

Grabbing hold of them, she lit her horn and, with a flash, was back into the main hall. Everything was in order, and Sealight was refreshingly quiet. And unconscious, upon further inspection. She looked at Tarsis with a raised eyebrow and the Changeling nodded toward Vanessa, who was licking her fangs with her eyelids contentedly lowered over her crimson irises.

“What?” the Batpony asked, catching her teammates’ stares. “I was thirsty, and he would not stop ranting. He is not dead,” she added quickly.

“As long as the perp’s not dead this time,” Ruby said, opening the sack and lifted out one of the jars and calling to the crowd, “Okay, who had a cutie mark of a fruit bowl?”

Nopony reacted.

“Any takers for a fruit bowl?” she tried again. “Still fresh, jar hasn’t been opened.”

No response.

“Going once,” she said, “going twice… oh bugger this, I have a better idea.”

Setting the jar back in, she lifted the sack high over her head with her magic. With a grunt, she slammed it down, causing an almighty shatter to pierce the relatively quiet air. The sack started to bulge desperately, and the mouth opened as bright cutie marks shot out into the air. Each one shot toward its respective owner and returned to their flanks, cancelling out the spells placed on them. Their colours returned to them, along with their senses.

“Where am I?” a stallion murmured.

“What am I doing in a church?” a mare demanded.

“Is that a Batpony? A real one?” a filly gasped. Vanessa brushed a hoof on the floor and quickly slid her tongue along her fangs to make sure they were clean.

“Whoa, that Griffon’s got a cool toy,” a colt chirped. Graham heard him and swiftly put his crossbow on his back.

Ruby and Tarsis shared knowing looks, and the Unicorn’s horn glowed. “Oi, over here!” she yelled, getting everypony in the crowd to look at her. Tarsis, Vanessa and Graham covered her eyes as a white flash lit up the room, sending the Ponies in a daze.

Using the confusion as cover, Tarsis took the form of a Pegasus and took to the podium.

“Attention, everypony,” she called. “Hello? Yes, hello, over here. I’d like to thank you all for participating in this community building exercise tonight. Princess Twilight will be very pleased with your enthusiasm.” She nodded toward the still passed-out Sealight. “We’re going to take this poor soul home--fell asleep, you see. Take care going home now.”

The crowd looked at each other, puzzled, but simply murmured amongst themselves as they made for the front door.

“Right then, let’s get Mister Personality into a cell,” Ruby said and pressed on her pin, causing purple magic to spit out into an oval-shaped portal. Vanessa was the first to stride into the purple haze. Graham hoisted Sealight over his shoulder, and Ruby swiped the black ring off the stallion’s horn before the Griffon passed through. She shot a small beam of magic at it, only for the onyx-like exterior to seemingly absorb it.

I knew it. But how could some nopony get this?

“Hey, what’s going on?” a mare asked. Ruby peered past the portal just as Tarsis’s legs vanished through it, and saw the mare the Changeling had knocked out and taken the form of before. “Where is everypony? And who are y--”

Ruby pocketed the ring and set off another white flash from her horn, sending the mare stumbling. “Group exercise, you got lost looking for the toilet,” she said hastily before hopping through the portal, closing it behind her.

Comments

[RainRunner777]

That fruit bowl bit had me rolling. I see we have a men in black situation here

[Unicorncob]

11409811
You could say that
Glad you like it