Tricks of the Heart

by Spyder27

A New Normal

Chapter III: A New Normal

The warm light of the day slips through the cracks of the blinds, alerting everyone inside of the morning. In my room, there are only two people. Sunset. And me. I barely got any sleep last night. Maybe it was because my mind wanted to make sure Sunset is alright, but I’m not sure… No matter how hard I tried to think of bouncing sheep, my mind always strayed towards thoughts of Sunset. About the night before. About all the times we’ve shared together. I’ve never thought about her this much in the span of twenty-four hours, but here I am. Maybe I’m still mad at Flash… That could be the reason why. All through the night, I held Sunset close to me and stroked my fingers through her hair, trying to make sure she had a good sleep even if I didn’t. I couldn’t get my mind off of it… Off of that one thing. She was drunk and it meant nothing…

So why does it feel like something…?

Staring at the ceiling above me, I feel Sunset’s body move slightly more than she had all night. A groan comes from her lips, struggling to bring herself to reality. Through a lot of effort, she slowly pulls her head off my chest, squinting to look at her surroundings. “Good morning,” I tell her quietly, attracting her attention.

“Adagio? Why does my… head hurt so much?” she barely asks me before bringing her hand to her forehead, whimpering at the headache. The buzz has worn off, leaving only a miserable hangover. “Was I… sleeping on you?” Her eyes are still squinting as she tries to sit up, holding her head all the while. A couple more groans come out of her as I move up beside her, stretching my arms.

“Well, you kinda initiated it. After you drank everything from my fridge.” Sunset’s eyes instantly look over at me, making her wince at the sudden move. Nonetheless, surprise is written all across her face. “You want proof? Look around us,” I tell her while moving my arm out in front of us, presenting the empty beer cans galore. A blush comes to Sunset’s face, her hand rubbing her forehead before looking at me again.

“I’m sorry… I didn't mean to drink so much.” Taking another look at the cans all around her, a loud sigh exits her lungs. “What happened…?”

“You don’t remember?” Sunset shakes her head to my question, slowly placing her hand on the bed and pushing herself up, wobbly standing in front of my bed.

“I can’t remember what happened after I started drinking, if that’s what you’re asking. I still remember what…” she stops herself quickly, looking down at the floor quietly, “he did…” I was almost hoping that she would have forgotten that as well… But I suppose that would mean I would have to reopen the wound by telling her. In my opinion, it’s better that she’s no longer with him, but I know she genuinely cared about him. Even if I wasn’t the biggest fan of how he would take our time away from us, she tried so hard to make him happy and make things work. Only for him to throw it all away without any regard to her feelings. “Did I do anything stupid…?” she asks me quietly, making her way to the sink and washing her face slowly. As soon as those words register in my mind, however, that sensation comes back to me. The warm light in the night. Our hands intertwined. And most of all, her kind words. All of that just built up that moment and I was helpless. It meant nothing… It’s just surprising, that’s all. That’s why my mind can’t stop thinking about it…

“No, you didn’t. Other than asking me about a zoo we never went to.” Sunset laughs quietly, still trying to not move around suddenly. Turning off the faucet, Sunset leans against the counter, shaking her head.

“Thank you, Adagio. Really. It means a lot to me that you helped me out of a bad situation and made sure I wasn’t alone.” Rubbing her forehead again, she barely looks towards me, squinting at the sunlight coming through the blinds. “Do you mind if I stay here for a little longer…? I’m not feeling so-” Instantly, she cuts herself off, closing her mouth as if trying to desperately hold something in. Bringing her hand to her mouth, she quickly goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Once again, I’m left alone with my thoughts. It doesn’t matter whether she’s sick or dealing with a broken heart. I’ll be here.

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“I’m thinking about joining the art club on campus,” Sunset tells me with a smile, trying to come up with something to talk about. It’s been a week since that party and Sunset hasn’t been doing well with her grades or life in general. I’ve been doing what I can to keep her standing though, so seeing this enthusiasm for something new is great. To finally see her happy about something.

“Oh, really?” I ask her, looking at her image on the screen. Video calls are new to me, but Sunset has called me at least once every day of the past week to tell me news. Most of it is unexciting, but I think that’s mostly because she needs someone to talk to. Someone to tell her she’s doing great. “That’s great~ When is their next meeting?” In order to keep her talking, I’ve learned to ask questions related to the pertinent topic, even if I’m not interested in it myself.

“They’re meeting tomorrow night, actually!” Sunset tells me with a bigger smile, seemingly happy that I’m interested in what she’s talking about. While she talks to me, she’s walking from one place to another, making her way to her next class. All the while, I’m laying on my bed in the dark. The only light I have illuminating my face is the blue light of the screen. “I know I haven’t really been that involved in the last week, but… I want to try, you know?” Sunset was always so determined and confident. She always wanted to help out around campus or try new things. That’s something he took away from her for these agonizingly long days.

“I think you should do it. It sounds like it would be good for you,” I tell her with a smile of my own, trying to hide the conflict inside myself. To be honest, she isn’t the only one who’s been trying hard to get out of bed in the morning. This whole week, I can hardly get any sleep. At least, sleep that isn’t my mind reminding me of that night. I don’t dream of Flash or Sunset’s tears. All I’ve been able to dream of recently is that one fraction of a moment. The one time the universe seemingly froze… When she laid her lips on mine, everything in my head was seemingly thrown into disarray. I still haven’t been able to understand why. The surprise hasn’t worn off yet… All I can remember is looking into her eyes, holding her hand. The next second, she makes a mistake and kisses me. She was just looking for someone to rely on. Something to hold onto. I gave her that. We’re still friends and that’s all that matters.

Then why does it feel like something changed…?

“I’m going to go to their meeting~ Thanks for letting me talk about it!” A conflicted look comes across her face, stopping in the middle of some hallway. If I remember correctly, this hallway is in the science building… “I just arrived at my next class, so I’m going to have to call you back later. Is that alright?” A part of me doesn’t want to leave the call just yet. The light of the screen is the only thing illuminating my room and it’s the only reason I’m awake right now. That night won’t stop replaying in my mind, making it hard for me to get out of bed. I’ll forget about it eventually…

“Yeah, that’s alright.”

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The oven timer rings throughout the small room, making Sunset and me stop playing the game of chess. Quickly, Sunset runs over to the oven and opens it, slipping on some oven mitts with a smile. She had never made cookies before, but she really wanted to try since they remind her of Equestria. Seeing her smile slowly return to her after a few weeks is the best thing I could ask for. “I told you we could make them~” Sunset tells me with a smirk, placing the pan down and pulling off her mitts. As if in some desperate attempt to cool them down, Sunset fans her hands at the cookies, steam still coming off of the baked goods. Her fiery hair reflects light easily, my eyes having a hard time looking away from her.

Standing up from the bed, a couple pieces fall off the board, but I don’t pay attention to the game. Instead, I simply walk towards the table, looking at Sunset’s seemingly happy smile. She’s been staying over more recently… One could easily say that’s because we’re friends, but the real reason is because I keep asking her to. No longer is she the one wanting to stay here. Now it’s my own selfish mind, wanting to spend more time with her. Every moment is more confusing than the last. Why does it almost feel like magic to have a friend…? To spend so much of your time with the same individual. I’ve come to accept that my mind will keep remembering that night, no matter how hard I try to forget it. It was a surprising event and those things stay around for a while… It doesn’t mean anything other than it surprised me. I’m sure I’ve surprised her before. In what way, I’m not sure… “They look sweet,” I tell her quietly, watching her serve the cookies on a couple plates.

“I’m sure they are!” Sunset responds with a nod, walking over to the table and giving me one of the plates. “But I’m sure they’re not as sweet as you~ I mean, you’re always here for me. I’m not sure what I would do without you.” There it is again… That innocent stare. She said the same thing back then. When she was drunk, she said the exact same thing. Hopefully, not all the events of that night will be repeated. It was a drunken mistake… As her smile gets bigger, mine slowly disappears. Why won’t my mind stop reminding me of it…?

“I’m not sure what I would do without you too.”

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The night is the time where I am able to think the most unfortunately… Sometimes, all I want to do in this world is sleep. My mind has other plans… Sunset has been incredibly active recently. Going to the gym and helping out on campus in the past couple months has made her pretty happy. I should be glad for her, but we haven’t had a whole lot of time for each other during this time… I miss her… A lot… My mind won’t stop remembering the times we’ve shared every chance it gets. Especially that one night… Trying to sleep is usually interrupted by those thoughts and I can’t help but feel conflicted. Those memories feel… nice for whatever reason. But I shouldn’t be thinking of her in this context…

Sitting up in my bed, I look over at the clock, sighing at the number displayed on my digital alarm. It’s already three in the morning and I haven’t gotten any sleep. All my thoughts are centered on the fiery-haired woman… I can’t forget that one sensation… How soft her lips were… How good it felt to be there for her in a time of need. It’s like the world is punishing me for making friends with Sunset to begin with. All my heart wants is to see her again. To see her smile and feel her hug. To be with her when she’s doing something she loves and to see that excitement. Although, I suppose I already know we’re not friends anymore…

Why did I have to get involved…? No… I would always be there for her. Why did he have to break her heart? If he didn’t cause all of that, I wouldn’t have to feel my heart beat every time I think of her now. She and I would still be friends and nothing would be different. Now all I can do is think of her, hoping she’s alright and wanting to make sure that smile is still on her face. My arms have felt empty ever since that night, wishing to hold her just one more time… If he didn’t break her, I wouldn’t be thinking of her all the time…

Wishing to be with her…

Someone like me… A siren who almost ruined her life back in high school. I want to be with her… Every day, I try to deny it, but every night reveals that truth. My body wants to feel her holding onto me one more time… My lips desire that same sensation I can’t seem to forget. God, I know it’s wrong. I’m supposed to be her friend. The one she spent so long reforming from a bloodthirsty siren. What right do I have to feel these things for her…? Why did all of this have to happen…? Every time I do see her, it gets progressively harder to not let it slip. To bite my tongue and avoid telling her this stupid secret of mine.

But I know I have to tell her… I won’t get any peace if I don’t… I will keep spending my nights, sleepless in my bed, wondering “what if?” I’ll just keep longing for her, never being able to finally ask her.

I’ll have to tell her…

That I love her…

Comments

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

“Oh, really?” I ask her, looking at her image on the screen. Video calls are new to me, but Sunset has called me at least once every day of the past week to tell me news. Most of it is unexciting, but I think that’s mostly because she needs someone to talk to. Someone to tell her she’s doing great. “That’s great~ When is their next meeting?” In order to keep her talking, I’ve learned to ask questions related to the pertinent topic, even if I’m not interested in it myself.

Why are they video calling over just talking in person? They both live on the same college campus.

Then why does it feel like something changed…?

Maybe because your developing feelings for Sunset.

Sitting up in my bed, I look over at the clock, sighing at the number displayed on my digital alarm. It’s already three in the morning and I haven’t gotten any sleep. All my thoughts are centered on the fiery-haired woman… I can’t forget that one sensation… How soft her lips were… How good it felt to be there for her in a time of need. It’s like the world is punishing me for making friends with Sunset to begin with. All my heart wants is to see her again. To see her smile and feel her hug. To be with her when she’s doing something she loves and to see that excitement. Although, I suppose I already know we’re not friends anymore…

Don't think that Adagio, Sunset still cares about you.