Chapter 1
In the dark skies above a canyon littered with bacteriophage-shaped machines, a portal is sucking in one such machine wrapped in red energy. Jake is on the ground trying to pull the machine out of the portal, while Finn hangs onto the machine with someone else, trying to slash into its hull with his Night Sword. “Can’t hold on much longer!” Jake strained as he tries to pull harder.
“Nothing! It’s like I never even tried.” Finn shouted to Jake. “What about you, Steven?” Finn asked his companion.
Alongside Finn is a chubby young man with a fair complexion and curly hair, wearing a pink varsity jacket, a black T-shirt with a yellow star, jeans, and a pair of sandals, armed with a large pink sword. “Not a scratch.” Steven shook his head.
Jake’s feet finally give in before he’s pulled towards the sky; the sudden shift causing Finn and Steven to loosen their grip as its pulled in faster. “Steven, take my hand!” Finn shouted as he reaches out to Steven, but when the machine suddenly shakes again and Steven falls off.
“Finn!” Steven yelled to Finn as the adventurers and the machine are pulled into the portal before it closes shut. As Steven falls, a pink bubble forms around him and he bounces around the canyon walls before settling on the ground and popping, setting him on the ashen ground. “Finn… Jake… and I just met them…” Steven said in despair as he looks to the sky. He slams his fist to the ground in frustration as he tries to hold in his tears. As he looks to the desolate grounds, he sees something glowing on the ground where Jake once stood.
He walks to it and picks it up, finding it to be a white smartphone with a clock logo on the back and the lock screen showing Jake holding a really good-looking sandwich. “Their phone… maybe…” Steven muttered. “I need to go back to the motel, then call them. I just hope they’ll pick up.” Steven said as he walks away from the site.
Finn soon awakens to see Jake standing before him with a worried look. “Jake, you ‘kay?” Finn asked as he gets up.
“I am. But, uh, lemme be straight with you…” Jake responded awkwardly. “You’re a horse.”
“What?” Finn said as he looks to his hands, now blue hooves. He turns to a river to see his reflection and finds himself turned into a blue pony dressed in his iconic hat, backpack, a sword-shaped mark on his flank, and a blonde tail. “Woah… I look adorable.” Finn commented in surprise. They find themselves in a valley with a town in the horizon. “Where’s Steven? I saw him fall off the Injector on the way into the portal.” Finn asked Jake.
“I didn’t see him. I think he’s back in his universe.” Jake answered. “Where’d we end up?” Jake wondered as he looks to his surroundings.
“There’s a town over there. Maybe they’ll know where we are, and why I’m a horse.” Finn said before he attempts to walk, but stumbles.
“Dude, take it easy. You’ve got four legs, remember?” Jake said as he gets down on all fours.
“I’m not used to walking on all-fours for reals.” Finn said.
“Just follow my lead.” Jake said as he walks in front of Finn. Finn follows Jake and tries to imitate his walking, and they set off towards the town.
They enter a small rural village made of scattered cottages, populated by multi-coloured ponies. Many of the ponies have plain horse features, but some others have short unicorn horns and others have wings like a Pegasus. “It’s an entire village of different kinda horses.” Finn noted.
“Let’s ask someone where this place is… if they speak English and not horse.” Jake suggested. Approaching them is a pink pony with a fluffy pink mane and balloon markings on her flank.
“Hi. What’s the name of this place?” Finn asked the pink pony. Instead of answering, she responds by leaping into the air and gasping before zooming away. “Okaaay… let’s ask someone else.” Finn suggested before moving forward. They walk further into town where they encounter a market where all sorts of goods are being sold, and are stopped by an orange pony with a blonde mane and tail styled, funnily enough, in ponytails, and wears a brown Stetson.
“Howdy there! Can I interest ya in some apples? Freshly picked!” the pony offered them with a Southern accent.
“I just wanted directions. Can I ask for the name of this town?” Finn responded.
“The name’s Applejack, and I’d like to welcome you to Ponyville!” Applejack introduces herself.
“Ponyville… how… apt.” Finn commented.
“Now, ya gon’ buy an apple’r not?” Applejack asked.
“Sorry, but I’m not hungry.” Finn declined.
“If ya change yer mind, ya know where to find us!” Applejack waves to Finn as he and Jake leave.
“Ponyville.” Jake scoffed. “Remember when the humans settled in Ooo, they wanted to call the city Humantown?” Jake recalled to Finn.
“It sounded like it’d fit with the rest of Ooo, but Hub City sounds cooler.” Finn replied. As soon as they leave the marketplace, a blue blur drops between them, kicking up dust. The adventurers see a blue Pegasus pony with a messy rainbow mane, a flank marking depicting a cloud shooting a rainbow-coloured lightning bolt, and a determined look in her eyes.
“Oops, sorry ‘bout the landing.” the pony apologized.
“It’s good… what’s your name?” Finn asked.
The pony widens her eyes in surprise before pulling a befuddled look. “What’s my name? What’s my name?! I’m Rainbow Dash!” the pony introduces herself for Finn and Jake to raise their eyebrows. “Wonderbolt, helped save Equestria a bajillion times?” the pony tried to remind them.
“Sorry, doesn’t ring a bell, but that sounds awesome.” Finn said.
“What kinda rock did you live under?” Rainbow Dash asked in confusion.
Catching up to her is a yellow Pegasus pony with well-brushed, pink hair and mark on her flank of pink butterflies. “Don’t fly so fast. We’re not in a hurry. We just want to release the axolotls.” the yellow Pegasus said softly as she carries a fishbowl of axolotls.
“Sorry, Fluttershy, but there was this bird who I swear tried to race me.” Rainbow Dash apologized.
“Hey, so is there anyone important we can ask for help?” Finn asked.
“If you head that way, you can find Princess Twilight Sparkle in the Castle of Friendship.” Fluttershy advised as she points to a massive, crystalline, tree-like castle looming over the town. “If anyone can help you, she can.”
“Thanks for the help, miss.” Finn thanked Fluttershy.
“Call me Fluttershy.” she chuckled.
“Well, see ya, outta-the-loop pony!” Rainbow Dash said before dashing off.
“Goodbye, stranger. Bye, doggy.” Fluttershy waves to the leaving adventurers.
“Bye, yellow horse.” Jake responded as he stretched a massive hand to wave back at a freaked-out Fluttershy.
“I wonder if their princess is nice.” Finn commented as they walk towards the castle.
“Maybe she’ll wonder that about you, too.” Jake chuckled.
“Jake, c’mon, really?” Finn groaned.
“All I’m sayin’ is that this princess might like a nice adventurer horse like you… and his dog.” Jake giggled. As they talk, Finn bumps into a floating bolt of cloth and falls down.
“Goodness, are you alright?” a woman’s voice asked in concern with a Trans-Atlantic accent. Finn looks up to see a white unicorn pony with notable eyelashes, a well-kept purple mane, a flank marking of three diamonds, and several bolts of cloth surrounded with blue aura floating beside her.
“Yeah, I’m good.” Finn answered as he looks to his fallen backpack with his belongings spilled out.
“Let me help with that.” the pony offered as she telekinetically floats the bag and puts everything back inside; a couple bags of trail mix, bottled water, a golden bracelet, and Night Sword. “Oh, dear me, what’s this?” the pony asked.
“It’s an antique.” Finn answered.
“Do be careful when handling it. Here, let’s see if I can’t fix up something.” she said as she turns away from them. She takes fabric from her bolts and quickly fashions it into a purple scabbard for the Night Sword. “There: a brand-new sheath for your old-fashioned sword, made of this wonderful new material called nylon.” she proudly presents it to Finn.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to do this.” Finn thanked her.
“It’s the least I can do. Nopony should be walking around with an exposed blade. You might hurt yourself.” she responded.
“Well, we’re off to see Princess Twilight Sparkle at the castle.” Finn told her.
“Oh, you are? Please tell the darling that I, Rarity, have just the right material for the castle’s curtains.” Rarity requested.
“We will!” Finn said as he and Jake walk away.
“That was nice’a her to make a scabbard. You barely use these things.” Jake commented.
They make it to the castle on the other side of town and approach the massive golden doors. Finn knocks on the door and it quickly opens up, revealing a pink pony with a neat purple mane with blue streaks, and a marking of a purple star with a teal tail. “Hi! I’m Starlight Glimmer. To whom do I owe the pleasure?” the pony greeted them.
“I’m Finn, and this is Jake.” Finn introduces himself.
“Bark.” Jake barked.
“We’re new in town, and we wanna see Princess Twilight Sparkle for something important.” Finn explained.
“I’ll take you to her. She loooves meeting new people.” Starlight Glimmer said as Finn and Jake enter the castle.
As they trot through the castle, they bear witness to the structure’s crystalline design; dark purple walls and golden doors lining the hallways. They soon come to the throne room: a circular room with a massive table in the middle, surrounded by six large crystal thrones and a smaller throne next to one to the right of the door. Reading a thick book at a shelf is a purple pony with a dark purple mane with streaks of lighter purples, bearing large wings and a unicorn’s horn, and a flank marking of a purple star.
Standing beside her is a small purple dragon with green eyes and green spines along his back. “Twilight, there’re visitors who wanna see you.” Starlight Glimmer informed Twilight Sparkle.
“Visitors?” Twilight Sparkle said as she turns away from her book.
“Hi, I’m Finn.” Finn introduces himself.
“I’m Jake.” Jake greeted.
“Your dog talks?!” Starlight Glimmer said in surprise.
“In a world of flying, magic ponies, a talking dog’s weird?” Jake asked.
“We have talking dogs, but they’re far from normal.” the dragon commented.
“We’re from outta town, and need help looking for something.” Finn said.
“What are you looking for?” Princess Twilight Sparkle asked.
“It’s—" Finn said before they hear screaming outside. They come to the balcony where they see purple, crystalline giants destroying buildings and menacing the pony population. “Hold that thought, princess.” Finn said before he and Jake jump off the balcony.
“Wait, don’t—!" Twilight Sparkle reaches out, only to find Jake stretched into a hang glider for Finn.
“Did that dog turn into a hang glider?” Spike noted in confusion.
“Let’s get down there and help the townsfolk!” Starlight Glimmer advised before they hurry outside.
The monsters continue their rampage as Finn and Jake glide overhead, watching them wreck buildings and tear up the ground. “How’d I fight? I don’t got hands to hold a sword.” Finn asked Jake.
“Use your mouth, like that one wolf boss we fought in that Japanese game.” Jake suggested.
Finn takes the Night Sword with his mouth before Jake drops him above a monster menacing a young, pink pony with curly blue hair. Finn comes down and slashes it in half with a single swing of his sword, and it disintegrates into a single crystal. “You ‘kay, kid?” Finn asked the young pony.
“Sure am, mister! The name’s Cozy Glow, and I’m new in town.” the filly introduces herself.
“Move along, Cozy Glow. It’s not safe here.” Finn said before running to the next monster as Jake glides towards him.
As the creatures attack the town, they’re struck by rainbow flashes zipping between them. “You picked the wrong town to mess with, crystal things!” Rainbow Dash yelled. The monsters try to smack her out of the sky with their sharp claws, but are too slow to catch up with her.
On the ground, Applejack rushes towards the monsters and kicks them with her hind legs, shattering their joints, causing them to collapse. With their remaining strength, the crippled creatures try to get back at Applejack, only to be kicked in the face, shattering their visage and poofing them into single crystals.
“What kinda rocks they made of?” Applejack wondered.
“Less talking, more saving the town!” Rainbow Dash yelled to Applejack before flying away.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy is evacuating the ponies away from the battle when Rarity meets up with her. “Fluttershy, darling, what’s happening?” Rarity asked.
“We’re being attacked by crystal monsters!” Fluttershy answered.
“Oh no!” Rarity gasped. “I do hope they aren’t taking revenge for all the beautiful gems I utilize in my works.”
Suddenly, a crystal monster stomps up to them and roars. The two ponies scream before a giant-sized Jake pounds it into the ground. “Ow, spikey.” Jake yelped softly before running off.
“That dog was smaller last I saw him.” Rarity commented when Twilight Sparkle and Spike arrives to witness the rampage.
“What in Equestria are they?” Twilight Sparkle wondered.
“We don’t know, but Rainbow Dash and Applejack went to fight them.” Fluttershy said.
“Not only that, but a big yellow dog saved us.” Rarity added.
Spike goes to the fist-shaped crater to find a small crystal where the monster stood and licks it. “It’s bitter!” Spike gagged in disgust.
“Don’t eat it! I’ll take this back for analysis.” Twilight Sparkle telekinetically takes the crystal with her horn. “Now, we have to save Ponyville.” Twilight Sparkle declared before running into battle.
Finn and Jake continue to fight the monsters; the young hero getting the hang of sword fighting with his mouth. He cuts down the creatures by their ankles to collapse them, then finishes them off by stabbing them in the chest. With Spike on her back, Twilight Sparkle flies in and blasts the creatures with magic lasers from her horn, shattering the creatures. “Rainbow Dash, Applejack, where’d these things come from?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “We dunno! One minute everything’s all peaceful-like, then these things show up!” Rainbow Dash answered.
“We’ve never seen anything like them. I took a piece of crystal from one of them, I licked it, and it was bitter and gross!” Spike said as Twilight Sparkle presents the crystal to them.
“We’ve got this under control, even before that kid an’ his dog showed up.” Applejack points to Finn and Jake double-teaming one of the giants.
“He came by to the castle for help, then jumped off the balcony them moment he saw the town in trouble.” Twilight Sparkle informed him.
“Strange fella. I offered him apples, an’ he asked for the name’a Ponyville.” Applejack recalled.
“I saw him just now! Can you believe he's never heard of the one and only Rainbow Dash?” Rainbow Dash boasted.
“He’s an unusual pony, with an even more unusual dog.” Twilight Sparkle noted as she sees Jake inflating his giant fist.
“Let’s get back to it! We’ve got about ten to go!” Rainbow Dash said before rushing off.
“Leave some fer me, Rainbow!” Applejack yelled as she followed behind.
As she watches the adventurers fight, Twilight Sparkle’s recovered crystal starts to glow. “Huh?” Spike said as he looks at the crystal.
As Finn and Jake finished up destroying a monster, they hear Twilight Sparkle screaming and turn around to see a crystal creature grabbing her with its claws as Spike watches in horror.
“Princess!” Finn yelled. He rushes to the monster and leaps onto its arm to throw his Night Sword into its face, causing it to reel in pain and release Twilight Sparkle, allowing Finn to grab her and roll down to safety. “Don’t worry, Princess Twilight Sparkle. You’re safe now.” Finn assured as he helps her to her feet. “By the way, Rarity has those new curtains for the castle.” Finn added before running off.
Twilight Sparkle couldn’t help but hold her beating heart as she stares awestruck at Finn fighting the monster. “Twilight, you ‘kay?” Spike asked as he nudges her.
Suddenly, a large cake is shot into the monster’s head from behind, ejecting the Night Sword to allow Finn to catch it. Standing atop a roof is the pink pony with fluffy hair, armed with a small blue cannon. “Party don’t start ‘til I pull up!” she exclaimed excitedly. Jake trips the creature and Finn plants his Night Sword to where its chest would land, and impales it. After it disintegrates, Finn takes his sword and finds a crystal impaled through the blade.
“I think we got all of them.” Finn noted after taking his blade as the six ponies he’s met gather around him.
“You’re not just a tourist, are ya?” Applejack asked Finn.
“And that isn’t just some antique, is it?” Rarity added.
“Awfully suspicious that you came here the same day these things did.” Rainbow Dash eyes suspiciously the two.
“Who are you, exactly?” Twilight Sparkle asked the adventurers.
“We’re adventurers… from another universe.” Finn answered.
“Just like Twilight a couple times before!” the pink pony said as she gets up close to Twilight Sparkle.
“Oh, my name’s Pinkie Pie, by the way.” she introduces herself to the adventurers.
“Another universe? This just got a little more complicated. Let’s go back to the castle where I can properly analyse these crystals.” Twilight Sparkle said as she telekinetically gathers all the crystals in town. They all head back to the Castle of Friendship where they hope they can find questions from one another.
To be continued…
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Well, that's a solid start! I'd say the pacing could be a little slower to really sell some of the fight, and give the reader a bit more time to chew on the plot going forward! But otherwise, nice!