Bad Jokes and Blind Mares

by bahatumay

One Year Later

Lightning Dust double-checked the address on the package, slid it to balance on her back, and then knocked on the door. It had been marked urgent, and she took a little pride in being the first delivery mare on the shortlist for this kind of delivery.

And then the door opened to reveal Rolling Thunder. “Lightning Dust?”

Lightning felt her heart jump in her throat, as if she’d been caught with her hoof between her hind legs instead of just doing her job, but she kept a neutral expression. “Got a delivery for you.” Now, of course, she recognized the box size as the ones they used for their uniforms.

Rolling Thunder smirked. She opened the door further and called to the other ponies inside. “Hey, guys, check out who’s here.”

Lightning kept a steely glare as she looked in, ignoring the laughs.

Rolling Thunder shook her head. “But delivery? Really? A mare of your talents?”

“Just sign for it,” Lightning said irritably.

She took the clipboard, and then looked up. “Sure thing. Don’t hit any rocks on your way back, alright?”

Lightning kicked the clipboard up, caught it on her back, and flew away. She’d just forge the signature on her way back, she’d seen it enough.

Which didn’t help her spiral as she remembered the other stunts she used to do and the autographs she used to sign and...

---

Fiddlesticks adjusted the tablecloth, only to realize she’d overadjusted and moved it back, only to realize that she’d overcorrected, and then gave up. She’d given this a lot of thought. She couldn’t say even when it had started, but Lightning had, like her namesake, came in suddenly and brightened things up. But unlike Lightning, she wanted this to be a bit more permanent. She glanced at the clock and smiled. She’d be back soon.

But one look at Lightning coming in and she knew something was off. She came over. “What’s wrong, Lightning Bug?” she asked gently.

“Ran into someone from my old team today,” she mumbled, flipping over and landing on the couch.

Fiddlesticks came over and gently brushed her back, between her wings. She knew if she stayed quiet for a bit, Lightning would share more. It had taken a while for her to trust her, but it had been worth it.

“It shouldn’t get to me,” she said, hitting a hoof against the couch cushion. “I’ve got my own life. I can fly my own way. And I’ve got a friend worth more than all of them put together. But seeing them there, just… there… it’s…” She grunted. “It’s getting to me.”

Fiddlesticks hesitated, as if unsure if she should say something, then decided to go for it anyway. “So, Lightning, it’s been a year since you fell out of my tree for the first time.

“It only happened one other time,” she defended herself.

“I know it’s been a hard year, but you’ve been so strong, and I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together.”

“Yeah, me too,” Lightning said, appreciating the compliment but unsure where she was going with this. This didn’t sound like the setup to a bad music joke, though she didn’t rule out the possibility of one.

“And I’ll understand if you don’t, but… I’d love it if you’d accompany me to the Reunion.”

“Really?” Lightning chuckled. “I thought I had to be your girlfriend before-”

The gears finally clicked, and she shot up. She’d thought about it, sure, she was cute, and that ‘Lightning Bug’ nickname had grown on her, but had always put it down as Fiddlesticks just being friendly. But there was no other way to interpret that.

Right?

“Really?” Lightning asked.

Fiddlesticks was blushing slightly and had her hat pulled down, but she nodded. “If you want,” she said.

Lightning pretended to take a moment to consider this. She stretched this moment out as long as she dared.

Then, she forcefully pushed her back on the couch and pressed their lips together. Working fully on ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’, she waited for Fiddlesticks to take a breath, and then gently slid her tongue inside her mouth.

Fiddlesticks hadn’t been expecting that, and the surprised squeak was one Lightning Dust would treasure forever.

Finally, though, even the most awesome pony needed to breathe, and she pulled back.

Fiddlesticks’s cheeks were burning bright pink now, and her chest was heaving. “I’ll take that as a yes,” she panted.

Lightning Dust chuckled ominously, letting the tips of her wing feathers gently brush against the inside of Fiddlesticks’ sensitive thighs. “You haven’t seen anything yet. Come on, Fiddly, tell me a joke.”

Fiddlesticks’ eyes flicked to one side. “Um, ok, uh, why… why is a piano so hard to open?” And why was Lightning sliding so low? “Because the keys are on the insi- anhh!”

Lightning Dust snickered. She had her right where she wanted her.

---

Two mares sat next to each other on the train seat. Fiddlesticks was giving her girlfriend (such a fun title!) some last-minute advice. “Don’t bother to try remembering names. You’ll lose track. And if you guess wrong, don’t worry about it, you’ll probably find a food with that name nearby and you can pretend you were looking at that instead.”

“You keep talking up all this food, and it’s making me hungry,” Lightning said, pointedly rubbing her stomach. “It’d better be worth it.”

Fiddlesticks chuckled. “It’s the best, bar none, Lightning Bug. Don’t worry about grabbing it fast—even if that is your only speed—because there’s going to be plenty.” She brightened. “Hey, how many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?”

“Oh, no.”

“Just one, but it takes four movements.”

Lightning hit her affectionately with her wing.

---

They emerged from the train and made their way down the dirt road towards the big red barn. There were all kinds of ponies headed there, and Lightning couldn’t help but grin. Maybe she could make a little splash here, pull off a fast-flying trick that she didn’t need both eyes for.

And then both slowed to a stop.

Because there was another earth pony mare, wearing a hat, with a pegasus hovering at her side, across from them on the path, seemingly mirroring their positions.

Fiddlesticks brightened as she recognized them. “Oh, hey! This is my cousin I keep telling you about-”

“Applejack,” Lightning supplied in a low voice, her hopes of standing out popping like a soap bubble.

“Y- yeah, and her girlfriend-”

“Rainbow Dash,” Lightning finished.

Fiddlesticks’ ears lowered slightly. She looked at them and gestured at the pegasus at her side. “So I’m guessing you two’re familiar with…?”

“Lightning Dust,” the two ponies said in unison. Rainbow’s eyes were narrow, and Applejack’s face was inscrutable.

A yellow filly with a red mane smirked. “Well, this reunion just got interesting.”