Abstract Love

by Faedelaide

Oh Woe is you, Buddy.

Ba ba ba boo. Dee do dum dee dah.

Oh by Luna herself, just look at me. So degenerated that I'm babbling like a Celestia damned foal. This sucks. Hey that works too!

This sucks.

This sucks.

This really really sucks.

Oh how this does suck.

I'll tell you how it sucks.

...sigh.

Y'know, sometimes I'll be thinking about something, right? I'll be thinking, and then I feel like I'm falling asleep, and then I blink my eyes. No joke, I literally just blink my eyes and it feels like I've just forgotten my entire life. It's so weird. And for one, it certainly makes purgatory a HELL of a lot less entertaining. At least I don't have my own voices shouting about my failures. Now they just shout babble, mostly about how I can't remember my own life. I barely even remember what I was talking about a couple minutes ago. I mean, I think it's been minutes. I can't really tell. Celestia didn't loan me a clock when I entered the spirit realm or whatever this shit is.

What was I even talking about? It had something to do with Rainfall I think. Man, I never really believed in "you don't miss something until it's gone", but I do miss her... Anyway, shut up Spiral Wave. No one wants to hear you mope. Keep telling the story.

So I was guiding Rainfall to my shitty little apartment, right? And it's exactly what you'd expect from a minimum wage artist. It was small, cramped and smelled like hay nine times out of ten, but she said she was fine with it. And at this point I'm still completely floored that she took me up on my offer. Cuz I mean, what right minded person would accept anything from somepony who looks like me? I look like the kind of guy that parents warn their kids about.

But, I mean, it's not like I'm like a creep or something, at least not enough that should make ponies genuinely worried. I'm more the kind of depressing kind of creep, y'know what I mean? The kind that watches couples walking along the sidewalks, and likes to imagine he's one of those two lovers, walking blissfully down the pavement without a care in the world... Cuz he's just so damn lonely. That kind of creep. Not the kind that makes a good friend.

Apparently, it makes for a good roommate though. Course me and Rainfall went through all the necessities. House rules, don't go through the others' shit, fork up your share of the rent, pretty standard stuff. Things went smoothly for a good week or so. We didn't really talk to each other that much inside and outside of work, which was convenient for me. The less possibilities to screw something up with her the better.

What was even more convenient was that I managed to strike a deal with some old coot who owned this big old warehouse, right? Said if I pay him a small amount every month, he'd let me use it as I pleased. That was something I took without a second thought. A place to practice my art, store it all in one place, all without accidentally pestering my cute and kind roommate? It seemed like a deal too good to be true. And it partially was. Little did I know that the old pony who owned the warehouse never cleaned it. It looked like somepony died in there, and I can neither confirm nor deny that I found a leg bone of unidentified origin within the warehouse while cleaning. Yech. And while I could've spent three months cleaning it by myself, I thought I might actually talk to Rainfall for once. Y'know, actually socialize with the pony I was sharing an apartment with. Act like a living breathing pony for a damn change.

I didn't expect her to help me at all when I asked, but she was shockingly receptive to the idea. It seemed that Rainfall put a lot more trust in me than I put in myself, one of the many things that startled and endeared me to her. So I explained the warehouse and that it needed cleaning, and then she does the thing that I knew was coming and knew I was going to dread. She starts asking questions.

"What are you doing with it?" was the inceptive inquiry, the beginning of what was soon going to be an unrelenting torrent of questions, some I didn't have the sense to answer. I tried my best to answer everything she threw at me, but eventually I gave up, and decided it would be best to walk and talk. So we start walking down the street towards the warehouse, and by this time it's... I dunno... late autumn, I think? It's cold, that's the point I'm trying to make here. It's cold, and while we're talking, she slowly starts scooting closer to me. It gets to the point where her shoulder's basically touching mine, and I start having an anxiety attack. Keep in mind I've never been this close to someone who wasn't either family or some asshole on the train, so being this close to someone I admired was a kind of novelty for me. I certainly wasn't prepared for it.

So I scoot away, more because I started breathing pretty heavy in my panic, and I didn't want her getting any ideas that I was creeping on her. She side eyes me and her face twitches a little, but she doesn't say anything. Thank Celestia. Eventually we make it to the warehouse, and I swing open the doors to show her the splendor of my new lent establishment. Again she asks why I wanted this warehouse so badly, and I, not wanting to weird her out with my hobbies just mutter "For art or somethin'."

And I should've expected this, but she turns to me, gasps and nearly shouts, "You do art!?"