IGOR

by mellon collie

BOYFRIEND

"can't buy you the world, but my time is yours"

The sweet aroma of chamomile wafted through the air, mixing with the already present scent of wet grass and the smells coming from a wide array of animals. Droplets of rain lightly tapped against the window, making a quiet thumping noise every passing second. A low hum from the wind blowing outside could be heard as well.

Animals skittered around in the living room, some having found a small paper ball and deciding to make the most of it. An injured monkey was having his broken paw wrapped in bandaging in the kitchen, letting out tiny discontented grunts until it was finished.

"There, all better. Make sure you— make sure you don't use that paw too much, alright? You don't want your bandages to fall off again." Fluttershy cooed, trying to comfort the monkey.

The monkey stared back at her for a few unblinking seconds before chittering.

"No problem. Make sure to tell Angel if you need anything." She smiled and turned away, trotting to the living room. "Sorry a— about that, Rarity."

Rarity waved a hoof dismissively. "Not a problem, dear. Animals need your attention all the time after all."

Fluttershy picked her cup of tea off of the tray and lifted it to her lips, breathing in the warm scent. "I love the smell of tea on a rainy day. It's so relaxing." She took a sip, regretting it immediately as she scorched her tongue.

"Me too." Rarity noticed that Fluttershy looked uncomfortable and became concerned. "Are you alright, dear?"

Fluttershy nodded, her mouth burning too hot to speak. After a few moments she regained the ability to feel her tongue. "Burnt my tongue."

"Ah." Rarity smiled. "I always forget just how quaint this place is between visits," She remarked as she gazed around the cottage.

Everything had been well-worn over time after years of love. Every surface, from cushions and pillows to tables and walls, was covered in scratches and even a few bite marks. The colors of the wooden base had dimmed slightly, but all it did was add to the homely nature of the cottage.

There was a constant hum of noise, usually coming from the animals. No moment passed with deafening silence, which was nice. The animals who felt comfortable enough to go out in the open were a delight, always enjoying the attention they got. There were more apprehensive ones, but even they sometimes found comfort in socializing.

Rarity knew just about every animal in the cottage by name. That was probably a testament to somehing.

"Thank you. You— you did mean that as a compliment, right?" Fluttershy asked, smiling as she watched Rarity absentmindendly pet Angel. When he had appeared, she didn't know.

"Well of course. This place is homely, I'd say. Sometimes it's good to get out of the boutique and go somewhere more, uh, cozy." Rarity gently scratched behind Angel's ear.

"I know what you mean. It's nice to— it's good to get a change of scenery every once and a while."

Rarity took a short sip of her tea. A question formed in her mind, but it quickly died away in her throat when she attempted to ask it. How would she go about asking this without seeming like she was prying? It was a simple question, one that didn't need this much scrutinizing over it.

She steeled herself, silently praying that this didn't end in an argument.

"How were your past relationships, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy blinked hard, her eyes widening when they opened again. She swallowed the tea in her mouth before giving Rarity a quizzical look. "What?"

Rarity was expecting this reaction, but she feigned confusion of her own. "You have had prior relationships, right?"

"I mean, y— yeah, but why are— why are you asking me that now?"

"I've just been thinking about it lately." A pause. "I guess my mind's been on one of my exes, and it got me wondering about yours."

Fluttershy's lips curled from a straight line to a frown. "Oh, um... do you want to talk about it?"

"There isn't really much to talk about. I thought we were in love, he cheated on me, we broke up." Rarity's voiced dropped to a mutter. "Just like most of them."

Fluttershy leaned over and placed a hoof on Rarity's arm. "That— that sounds awful. And— and you said 'most of them'?"

Rarity nodded.

"I'm sorry you went through that, Rarity." Fluttershy pulled her into a tight hug. "I— I hope you know that I'll never do that to you."

Rarity wanted to believe that. She truly did. She bit back her comment and instead pulled Fluttershy closer. "Thank you. I know you never would." She pulled away from the hug, resting her hooves on Fluttershy's arms to still keep her in her hold. "I just.. am I not enough for other ponies?"

The thought began repeating itself in her head. Was it true? Was that why ponies always left? Because she wasn't good enough for them? She felt her breath hitch in her throat at that. No, that couldn't be true. There was no way that it could be.

"You are enough. Never think otherwise." Fluttershy stared directly into Rarity's eyes to emphasize her point, her voice firm yet comforting. She placed a kiss on Rarity's muzzle, able to sense that the unicorn was becoming shaken up.

Rarity didn't respond for a few moments, her gaze drawn to the cushion under her. "..Thank you, dear. That means a lot to me." Her eyes met Fluttershy's once more. "I'm not as bad as—" She cut herself off before more words could tumble out. "I mean, it's not that bad. But sometimes I just wonder."

"I know what you mean. If— if you ever need somepony to talk to, please know that I'm here for you," Fluttershy reassured, a warm smile on her face. "Always."

"Same for you. This isn't a huge thing, so you don't have to worry about me." Rarity gently prodded Fluttershy's chest. "You still haven't answered my question."

Fluttershy averted her gaze, her expression darkening. "It's, um, complicated."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't really like t— talking about it."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but I'd appreciate it if you did."

Fluttershy's eyes flickered to the forgotten teacups for a moment before she released her breath. The memories were flowing back quickly now, building up like the water in a dam that was on the verge of collapsing. "Alright. I— I guess I should start at the beginning.

"When I first moved to Ponyville, I didn't have any friends. All I had were my animals. One day, I was— I was out at the market, when this stallion approaches me. We hit it off immediately, cause he was a— a veterinarian. He was the first pony since Rainbow Dash to actively reach out to me.

"We started talking more after— after that. I found myself falling in love with him, and— and we started dating after awhile. Those first few months..." A blissful look crossed her face for a split second before her frown reappeared. "They were so amazing. It felt like my heart had been set on fire and the flames never once dwindled. We were so happy.

"Then things started to.. to change. One of his siblings passed away and— and he became a whole other pony. He started being distant, barely t— talking to me unless he had to. We would go weeks without talking sometimes. I just thought he needed space. But it got so much worse...

"After a bit he started getting angrier and angrier. He would yell at me until I started cr— crying, and he would keep going until I begged him to stop. I thought I was doing him a favor, letting him- letting him air out his frustrations. At times I thought I deserved it. I- I didn't even realize how bad it was until years later.

"One day, he hit me. It wasn't particularly hard, but— but it was enough to knock me to the ground. I will never forget the grin on his face as he saw the blood coming out of my nose. I— I think that was when he truly stopped caring about me. He realized how much p— power he had over me. He knew I wouldn't stop him, because— because I was too scared to do anything. All he wanted me for was to be able to throw me around whenever he wanted. And I still loved him."

Fluttershy didn't notice the tears brimming in her eyes, nor did she notice them rolling down her cheeks.

"He was th— the first pony besides Rainbow to show me any affection. I couldn't— I couldn't risk losing that. I needed somepony to care for me, even if he only did enough to keep me around. Eventually I tried to fight back, but he was so strong. That was the first time I— I got a broken wing.

"Things just kept... escalating. He became so bitter and spiteful. He would get more and m— more cruel, he hit me harder, and I kept losing hope. I be— I became a walking corpse. No emotions, nothing to show that I was still alive. I wanted to leave, so badly, but I felt— I felt tethered to him. I thought that I needed him.

"Sometimes, I— I thought that I deserved it. I'd been mistreated so much th— that I just grew to accept it. Had I done something to— to deserve this? I don't know. Maybe I did. Maybe that's what he wanted me to believe. He had broken my spirit s— so much that I thought he was doing this to help me. Sometimes I wished that was the truth.

"Rainbow was the one who— who saved me from him. She discovered what was happening when she moved h— here, and she, um, 'gave him what he deserved', in her wor— words. I never saw him again. He fled to th— the Crystal Empire, apparently."

Fluttershy let her story hang in the air, tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. This was all too much. She could feel everything all over again. The slaps to the face, the screaming in her ear, the feelings of worthlessness, the guilt-tripping, the isolation from the rest of the world—

The mare wrapping her arms around her, consoling her as the tears started coming down harder and faster.

She let out a gurgled sob as she buried her face into Rarity's shoulder. The hooves rubbing her back did little to soothe her, but they were appreciated nonetheless.

Fluttershy had thought she was over this. Why wasn't she? All of this had taken place almost a decade ago, yet all the mental scars that had seemingly healed had been ripped back open. In a way, talking about it again made her feel better about the whole situation. It made her realize how much she had grown, and how many creatures truly cared for her now. She wouldn't have to settle for an awful pony because they were all that she had. She felt good about that.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," Rarity whispered for the umpteenth time, wincing as Fluttershy's body heaved more. "Everything is okay now. I'm here."

Fluttershy whimpered, her grip on Rarity tightening even further. Her throat was starting to burn and she was beginning to feel lightheaded. She couldn't see a thing through her blurry eyes besides white dots, but that was all she needed to comfort her.

Her head slowly lifted, her tear stained muzzle bumping against Rarity's as she moved. "Can y— you pr— promise me something?" Her voice was watery, quivering enough to make her barely comprehensible.

"Of course, Fluttershy. Anything."

"Promise me you'll n— never hurt me."

"I promise."

The couple remained in the same spot, Fluttershy letting out every tear until she had run out of them. Her eyes had become red and puffy. She was out of breath, barely able to focus on anything. It was utterly exhausting, but it was worth it to get all her emotions out.

She didn't know how much time had passed, but the world outside had become a dark blue, highlighted with white dots and the bright moon shining down from the sky. The sight made her smile imperceptibly. She felt the most comfortable she had in so long, holding Rarity close as the stars twinkled in the distance.

Author's Note:

exactly what you run from, you end up chasing. like, you can’t avoid, but just chasing it and just like trying. giving it everything that you can. there’s always an obstacle.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

...I'm confused? What's IGOR? The only Igor I know is the guy from Dork Tower and the hunchback who worked for Dr. Frankenstein.

[mellon collie]

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IGOR is a concept album by tyler, the creator that i based this story off of