Steeve spends the night at Fluttershy's place to avoid a thunderstorm, even if said weather doesn't bother him in the slightest, he feel like the shy mare is feeling otherwise and would like to use the weather as an escuse to scratch an itch of hers.
Okay then. Item one is that your spelling and grammar leave quite a lot to be desired. Misspelled words, missing commas, no capitalization of words where it is needed, etc. I would hire an editor. Furthermore, I cannot tell if the person described is Human or Pony. This needs work but it has potential. Fluttershy's mannerisms, demeanor, and speech patterns all seem to be spot-on, so good job on that.
11116816 Thanks for the advices. For the whole misspelling and overall grammar i sincerly apologies, being french makes it a bit hard to write like this. I'll be honest for the editor part : i'm both broke and a cheapskate so it might be hard, i've mainly started this on a whim because i couldn't find something interesting to read, so i went full on thanos and said "fine, i'll do it myself then". The character is a human turned pony, but he kept many quirk from his previous form : such as always wearing clothes and using only his hindlegs to walk from time to time (old habits dies hard and the hability to use his front hooves to wield thing is something he outright refuses to let go). If it the size part that confuses you, try to picture him taller than bic mac whilst still shorter than luna. Thanks for reading anyway, have a good one pal.
Okay then. Item one is that your spelling and grammar leave quite a lot to be desired. Misspelled words, missing commas, no capitalization of words where it is needed, etc. I would hire an editor. Furthermore, I cannot tell if the person described is Human or Pony. This needs work but it has potential. Fluttershy's mannerisms, demeanor, and speech patterns all seem to be spot-on, so good job on that.
11116816
Thanks for the advices.
For the whole misspelling and overall grammar i sincerly apologies, being french makes it a bit hard to write like this.
I'll be honest for the editor part : i'm both broke and a cheapskate so it might be hard, i've mainly started this on a whim because i couldn't find something interesting to read, so i went full on thanos and said "fine, i'll do it myself then".
The character is a human turned pony, but he kept many quirk from his previous form : such as always wearing clothes and using only his hindlegs to walk from time to time (old habits dies hard and the hability to use his front hooves to wield thing is something he outright refuses to let go). If it the size part that confuses you, try to picture him taller than bic mac whilst still shorter than luna.
Thanks for reading anyway, have a good one pal.