Three Diamond Dogs Kidnap Twilight Sparkle

by CartoonDuck

Chapter 2: Canterlot

The city of Canterot was alive with activity, the streets were full and many ponies went about their day in peace, enjoying the warm sun and clear blue sky. The afternoon train arrived at the Capital on time, and a large group of travelers and wealthy ponies got off, followed by two diamond dogs. Rex and Spot weaved their way through the crowded station and into the shopping district. Once they got there, Spot had to stop every few minutes to take in the lavish buildings, sleek cobblestone walkways, and high-end stores. Many well dressed ponies would stop to give the pair a funny look, but Spot just smiled and waved.

Rex, on the other hand, kept his face buried in the note Diesel had written. His eyes traced the page over and over as if he was expecting it to rewrite itself. Finally, he spoke up, his voice layered with contempt. "How the hell are we going to do this?"

Spot shrugged. "I dunno, but I'm sure we'll figure something out! We just gotta think like spies, traveling through enemy territory, hidden in plain sight!"

"Yeah, well good luck being inconspicuous,” Rex scoffed. “Diamond dogs aren't exactly a common thing in Equestria, just look at the stares we've been getting."

He was right, on every street corner they passed, there was at least one pony fixated on the two, giving them a look of either curiosity or contempt.

“I thought those were welcoming stares,” Spot said.

“Yeah, you would think that.”

Rex returned his focus on the note, while Spot took a closer look at the ponies around him. He noticed a little unicorn filly staring at him from afar, her head tilted in curiosity. He smiled at her and gave her a friendly wave. “Hello, little pony!”

The filly looked to her mother and tugged on her silver dress. “Mommy, what are they?”

The older unicorn regarded Spot with mild interest, looking him up and down to analyze his appearance. When she was done, her face wrinkled in disgust. “Don’t make eye contact with them, sweetheart. They’ll try to kidnap you.”

"Hey, no we won't!” Spot argued.

The unicorn ignored him and trotted away with her daughter, while Spot shook his head in disbelief. "Did you hear that, Rex? She said we'll kidnap them! That's prejudice!"

"Spot, we literally kidnapped a pony a few hours ago.”

“Oh, right.”

With a long drawn out sigh, Rex crumpled up the note and placed it back into his jacket pocket. “Alright, I can’t think of any other way to deliver this note… so I guess we’re doing this your way.”

Spot’s face lit up. “Act like spies!?”

“We sneak up to the castle, then drop off the note without being seen.”

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Spot exclaimed, clapping his hands like a child. “Can I hold the note? I would love the honor of taking it to the castle.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Rex handed him the paper. It didn’t matter who had the note, as long as the job was done, and Rex wanted it done as fast as possible.

***

Rex and Spot waited until nightfall to hatch their plan. The city had fallen silent, the streets had emptied out, and not a single eye watched the two out of place criminals stroll up the Royal Castle. If all went well, they would be back in their cave in a few hours, and a hefty sum of ransom money would soon follow.

Earlier, they had passed a clothing store, and Spot broke in to steal a black trench coat. He completed his new look with a pair of dark sunglasses that were too big for his face.

“I still can’t believe you’re wearing that stupid thing,” Rex grumbled.

“I already told you, Rex, every good mission needs a good aesthetic,” Spot countered. “We’re sneaking up to a castle at night, so we need to wear black. You should as well.”

“I’m already wearing black!”

“Seriously, Rex? You know as well as I, that leather jackets are only good for two things: looking cool in the daytime, and bar fights.”

Rex rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Every day, you continue to reveal to me how stupid you truly are.”

“We can always go back and steal another one.”

“Shut up, we’re here.”

They walked down a stone path that led to the castle. When they reached the end of the path, they stopped to listen for any royal guards. It was quiet, the only sounds were the crickets in the distance and the calm flow of the river that surrounded the castle’s white walls. The draw bridge had been lifted and the massive front doors were shut tight.

“Okay, this is it,” Rex whispered. “Let’s do this quickly.”

“Way ahead of you, buddy,” Spot replied.

Rex turned to his partner to see him holding a rock with the note taped to it. “Spot, what are you doing?”

"Who knows when someone will find this,” Spot answered. “I got a better idea so they see it now."

“No, that’ll be too loud, we need time to get out of the city!"

"Just trust me, my friend."

"You're not my friend and I've never trusted you once in my life.”

Spot didn’t listen, instead, he pulled his arm back and swung the rock as hard as he could. Rex held his breath as it flew through the air. Was he trying to aim at a window? Who knows, but it didn’t get very far, instead it smashed against the front wall and plummeted to the ground.

There was a tense pause, then a gruff voice spoke up. “Hey, what was that?”

“You damn idiot!” Rex snapped. “Now we have to run!”

“Aw man, really? My cardio isn’t that good right now.”

Before they could do anything, two earth pony guards trotted around the corner. “What are you doing on the castle grounds?” one of them asked.

Rex froze in place, while Spot rubbed the back of his head awkwardly “Uh, nothing bad! We were just uh… trying to throw a rock at one of the windows!” he blurted.

“You’re what?”

“I what?”

“What did you just say?”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You said you tried to throw a rock at a window.”

“If you knew what I said, then why did you ask me?”

The guard blinked, then frowned. “Alright, come here. We need to question you.”

Spot took off sprinting. Cursing under his breath, Rex followed. "Hey, get back here!" the guard yelled. They chased them down a hill and into an open field. Rex knew ponies had the advantage of running on all fours, so he pushed himself to his absolute limit, letting his adrenaline take over. There were larger, snow covered hills up ahead, a perfect place to lose the ponies chasing them, if they could make it there fast enough.

As they ran, Rex quickly began to realize how out of shape he was. His breathing had become rapid and his lungs burned from the amount of air he was sucking in. He had no choice but to stop to catch his breath, while Spot continued his sprint like a marathon runner.

“Bad cardio, my ass!” Rex called after him.

Spot ignored him and disappeared into the distance. Rex now stood alone, panting in an empty field, while the full moon hung over his head like a silver shadow. He couldn’t believe he was about to get punished for Spot’s stupidity. Was it really the end for him? No, he had one last trick up his sleeve that could turn the tide in his favor. At that moment, Rex couldn’t help but smile. If all went well, he’d be the one benefiting, not his lunatic of a boss or simple minded partner.

As the stomping of hooves grew louder, Rex let out one last ragged breath, then stood up straight. Raising both hands, he turned around to face the guards. “Alright, boys, I give _” Both ponies tackled him to the ground. He tried to struggle but was met with an armored hoof to the face. “Ah, my face! You guys are a bunch of dicks!”

“Stay silent, criminal!” the guard who punched him ordered.

“I’ll look for his partner!” the other one said, getting off Rex and running towards the hills.

The guard on top of Rex used a foreleg to pin his chest to the ground while he took out a pair of cuffs. “Vandalizing the royal castle was a foolish thing to do.”

With blood dripping from his mouth, Rex let out a soft chuckle. “Just wait until you see what’s on that rock.”