Ch. 5 - Hard To Admit, Harder To Express
Applejack tends to her trees, doing her usual duty of bucking apples and letting them fill up in the many wooden baskets she's brought outside with her. It hasn't been that long ago that she went away whilst Pinkie and Anon were chatting amongst each other. A little ways away, she hears her front door open with a slight creek; Pinkie trots out, her head to the ground firmly, and her running, frantic.
"Pinkie?" Applejack calls out to her, from the distance that her and her friend are at however, her voice might be harder for Pinkie to hear. "Pinkie!" She calls again, louder this time, Pinkie looks up for a brief second, her eyes connecting only briefly with the orange mare, before once again hitting the ground with firmness.
Applejack watches as Pinkie keeps trotting along, not looking anywhere else but the green grass that surrounds the Apple farm. Applejack stops what she's doing, she can't help but think something bad happened while her and Anon were talking; she considers going back inside to confront Anon, but decides against it as her worriedness for her friend overrides her. Through the many trees, Applejack brushes through the leaves in motion to catch up to her speedy friend.
"Now where could she have gotten to?" Applejack mumbles as her head looks side to side, back and forth, trying to spot an inkling of a bright pink coat. For all she knows, she could've left the farm.
"There ya are." Be it through luck or a keen eye, Applejack lays eyes on her bubbly friend, she walks up slowly towards her; Pinkie's slouched down, her body quietly up against the bark of an uninteresting apple tree. Pinkie Pie sighs to herself dramatically as Applejack approaches.
"Alright Pinkie, what's wrong girl?" Applejack lowers her voice, a sense of melancholy hinging out, she can tell something's off with her pony friend.
"Oh nothing." Pinkie echoes back sadly.
"Pinkie." Applejack shakes her head, inching closer, she sits down adjacent from her friend. "I know something's up, it ain't like you to act all moody-like, that much I'm certain about."
Pinkie sits there not saying a word, she looks down to the grass, then up to the sky, to the grass once again; Applejack awaits any response, somehow the most chatty pony in all of Ponyvile, is able to be as silent as Fluttershy. Applejack waits a few more seconds before taking another shot at questioning.
"It's Anon, ain't it?" Pinkie groans slightly as her body weighs down. Applejack isn't a bit surprised with the fact their human friend has something to do with Pinkie's demeanor, but is curious to know what he could've possibly done to her poor friend.
"Alright then, that settles it." Applejack stands up, causing Pinkie's eyes to follow the orange mare's abrupt nature. "I'm gonna give him a scoldin'. I don't know what he did, but I sure as hay ain't gonna let someone treat my friend any way bad."
"No, Applejack, wait!" Pinkie lights up as Applejack makes her way out of the tree's. She turns around to look at Pinkie, Pinkie stands up with the same abruptness Applejack exerted, not wanting Applejack to get confrontational with Anon.
"I'm just gonna go talk to him, I ain't about to pick a fight Pinkie. From what I know of Anon, he's a bit different, but he's not the type to be cruel; I just don't understand what would've got you so down from the short while since we last talked." Applejack explains to Pinkie with assurance, Applejack doesn't want to hurt Anon just as much as she doesn't like seeing Pinkie be hurt, their both her friends after all.
"If... If I tell you, can you not go and talk to Anon?" Pinkie asks reluctantly, she doesn't want to lay unneeded baggage on her friend, frankly, Pinkie never shows any other sign of emotion besides pure excitement to her friends, so she doesn't want Applejack to think of her any different; that goes for every pony.
Applejack takes a deep breath before nodding her head.
"Sure sugarcube, that's fine by me." Applejack and Pinkie sit on the grass once again, Applejack being adjacent just as before. She locks eyes with Pinkie, now waiting for her friend to open up about all that's happened since she tended to her apple trees.
"Remember... a couple weeks ago, when I asked you if you liked Anon?" Pinkie rubs her hooves together, slightly anxious and hesitant to tell Applejack what's on her mind.
Applejack nods.
"Well... u-ummm... I've been trying to get closer... to him, a-and well I'm usually the one who asks him to go places, so when you heard him ask if I wanted to go with him... just the two of us.... I got really happy, s-so-"
"So? Did ya'll make plans to go today?"
"He... He didn't want to." Pinkie's ears lower down, her brow following the same pattern.
"Well why the hay not? He asked you to go in the first place. Pinkie, that doesn't make any sense." Applejack tells her friend, a bit confused and flustered over the whole thing.
"I know it doesn't. I don't understand it either! He just said that it would be better if me and you went and that..."
"'And that' what?"
"And that, it would suck, just being me and... him." Pinkie sounds off softly, she feels so ashamed just thinking that Anon thinks badly about her. Pinkie averts her eyes away from Applejack, staring to the side.
Applejack looks aghast at Pinkie's retelling, she can't believe Anon would say something like that, especially to some pony as caring as Pinkie Pie.
"Pinkie, I don't think he meant it. There's gotta be a reasonable answer to why he'd go on to say that." Applejack tries to reassure her pink friend, though she's having doubts herself if that's how Anon meant it or not.
"When I was coming over to your house today AJ, I was coming over to talk about Anon. So that maybe you could give me advice on how to... uhm..." Pinkie rubs her hooves together again, an anxious tick for sure, but one that helps her with uncomfortable situations. "I mean he's a different species so he probably doesn't even think that way about... b-but even still I'd like to try to...." Pinkie jumbles her words together, unable to get across her feelings accurately. This whole thing probably seems so silly to Applejack, but to Pinkie, it's as serious as she can get.
"So you didn't forget what ya came here for to begin with, you were just tryin' to build up courage to ask me." Applejack forms as a question but already knows by Pinkie Pie's sincerity, that she was just shy to talk about this with her.
Pinkie Pie nods her head slowly.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner AJ, I'm just... I-I don't really know how to explain it."
"You're in love?" Applejack says cautiously.
Pinkie's body twitches with Applejack's 'to the point' question. She looks back to Applejack as quickly as the words leave her mouth, her heart beating fast and her nerves boiling inside her.
"N-No, that's not it! I can't fall in love, I mean I love my friends, b-but I don't- I mean I can't-"
"Why can't you fall in love? It's a normal thing, every pony experiences it at one point or another. I think it's good ya'll are expressin' your feelings; though if I'm gonna be honest Pinkie, and don't take this the wrong way but, well I just never pictured you of all ponies, bein' the romantic type, especially to Anon." Applejack confesses.
Pinkie looks solemn hearing Applejacks words, she thinks about what was said to her yesterday.
"Rose said the same thing too. I guess you're right AJ, I don't think I'm 'mare friend' material, but I can't help but feel this way about him... you know?" Pinkie says in a low pitch tone, inside she's frustrated that she can't communicate to Anon like she would want.
Applejack puts her hoof on her friends shoulder, Pinkie looks vulnerably in Applejacks eyes, feeling a sense of relief to finally tell someone how she feels, but a bit bashful all the same.
"Even if you ain't 'mare friend' material in the typical sense, that doesn't mean you can't love the ponies you wanna love. I know it probably seems doubtful to you right now, but I believe Anon has feelings for you too." Pinkie's eyelids raise at Applejacks passing words, she would like for anything for that to be the case. "But this ain't just a spur of the moment thing is it Pinkie? I mean, me and the girls have suspected for a while that.. well, you had feelings for him but-"
"Y-You did?!" Pinkie's surprised at the possibility that her friends could of known that she felt about Anon in that way.
"Well yeah, It seemed pretty obvious, to me and the girls anyway." Applejack rubs the back of her neck with a hoof at the awkward predicament she finds herself in, she never thought she'd be the one to actually confess to Pinkie what was on all the girls minds.
"What... gave it away?" Pinkie asks hesitantly, the full force of embarrassment and curiosity fills her very being.
"Welp, to tell ya the truth, it's quite a bit." Applejack states as she prepares to tell Pinkie the clear signs of interest her dear friend exhibited towards Anon. "A while ago, and I do mean a while ago, when Anon first moved into town, or should I say, 'appeared' in town, every pony was put off by him, every pony, except you. When we were all off in hidin', tryin' to figure just what to make of this weird, mysterious creature, here you come in the middle of it all to greet him."
"And I told you guys he wasn't dangerous, but still there are ponies who just don't want to believe it!" Pinkie states, her excitability and still frustration about some of the ponies in Equestria not wanting to give Anon a chance coming out at Applejack's recollection of how it all began.
"Yeah I know Pinkie, you gotta understand though, he's the only one of his kind, at least here in Equestria. So obviously there's gonna be some ponies who aren't going to be as welcoming as others, hence, the every pony running away and hiding part." Applejack explains to her friend, Pinkie knows all this already but still can't shake the simple fact of ponies, griffons, dragons, and even diamond dogs, being intimidated by this one of a kind entity.
"That bein' said though, you changed a lot of our minds about the stature of his trust ability, heck, if I recall correctly, he was just about as scared and confused as all of us were, if not more." Applejack affirms, she knows now that Anon isn't here to cause anypony harm, she feels bad for the way her and the town reacted to his being, she cares about him now just as much as any other of her friends.
"I really won't go into a lot of what kind of affection you showed towards him, but day in and day out, you made sure to tell us that no matter what, you'd visit him once per day, and what started out as just seein' him for an hour, turned into a couple hours, to a couple more hours on top of that, to where it was at the point that about anything we'd all do together turned into a big conversation about Anon, askin' if he could tag along and such. I'd say it was pretty concrete you felt somethin' for him." Applejack finishes with a complete, albeit a little less detailed memory of just how she saw Pinkie's emotions from the outside looking in.
"Well do you think that Anon... like what you said, feels the same way?" Pinkie asks as her vulnerable disposition makes it easier, though still a bit difficult, to relay any question to her orange friend.
"If I'm bein' honest, which I really do try to be with you..." Applejack pauses, she thinks for a moment while looking away from Pinkie's eyes, after coming together with a response, she looks back; Pinkie nervously, but patiently, waits to hear what Applejack has to say. "...I really don't know."
Pinkie lets out a disappointed sigh, she expected nothing less from Applejack's answer, but still wanted a sign, or something, to at least lean to.
"Oh, Pinkie. I know it ain't what you wanna hear but that doesn't outright prove that he has no sorta feelings for you, I don't have the keenest eye most of the time, and when it comes to emotions and such, I'm not so good at telling just who and who doesn't feel some way about each other. Heck, I only figured how you felt towards Anon because of how open you are." Applejack tells Pinkie, she doesn't want to leave her in the dark about Anon, but Anon isn't the type to flaunt how he feels about any sort of pony.
"I know AJ, it's ok. I can't allow my own selfish feelings to get the better of me, I shouldn't be all mopey-dopey about Nonie not wanting to go to some silly carnival with me. But even still..." She wanders as her words trail off, thinking how great it would've been for Anon, the human that she's asked to go places with her all the time, to finally ask her for a change.
"Thanks for the talk anyways Applejack, I know I'm not the type to express how I'm feeling, especially when it comes to stuff like this, but I felt like this was something I had to tell some pony." Pinkie says sincerely.
"Of course sugarcube, this is something that seems like it's been troubling you for quite sometime now. I think it's only best to let go some of your bottled up emotions." Applejack hugs Pinkie with a genuine comfort, as a way to tell her friend that she cares.
"Pinkie." Anon brushes through the trees, seeing Pinkie Pie and Applejack in the middle of a hug.
Anon smiles at Pinkie after reuniting with her from such a short distance away, he's glad to of found her; though the smile fades away as quickly as it came as an aura of guilt and sorrow fills the tainted air.
Pinkie's eye glances over to Anon, she breaks from the hug as she hears her name being called out. She looks at him shamefully, the weird implication of just telling one of her friends about how she feels towards this human, and her running away out of sadness from being let down from Anon, is left making her feel complicated and stricken with an uneasiness to talk how she'd normally go about chatting away with glee.
The three stand looking at one another. Anon, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack all unsure on what to say.
"Look, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to upset you or anything like that Pinks, I just thought... you know..." Anon breaks the silence, voicing to the pink mare how he feels. He isn't sure if this is what she wants to hear, or even if this is the right time to say an apology, as it's only been such a short while since the two were separated.
Pinkie's bright pupils eye themselves closer to the ground, still having Anon's field of view in her sight, but not being able to look him directly in the face.
"Why can't I? I've never had a problem looking into ponies faces before? Why am I so nervous? Isn't it obvious? You're scared Pie. Scared? Scared of... what? Of Anon, duh. What do you think? You can't even muster a single word! How pathetic are you?"
"I think- I think Pinkie needs some time alone, Anon." Applejack speaks for the pink mare, they both look at her, distraught and troubled by her saddening look.
Anon hesitates to go, he had no idea Pinkie would be this upset over his, admittedly, poor choice of words that he brought up during her questioning about the ticket. Turning around slowly, he waits to hear his name being called out by that jovial voice, the voice that's been engrained in his head for as long as he's been in Equestria, the voice that gives him comfort and solace, that everything will be alright.
Not a word even comes close to that however; Anon is left with a guilt ridden persona that affects him deeply. He walks cowardly out from the trees.
Applejack and Pinkie are once more left to their own. Silence is brought back to the fold, eerie in it's nature as Pinkie does nothing to break it.
"Pinkie?" Applejack softly comforts her friend, the pink pony seems to be deep in a frozen state of mind. Applejack doesn't even want to begin to know what thoughts are running in her friends mind.
Pinkie Pie's mellow face turns over to Applejack's direction, although Pinkie isn't aware of just how out of character she's acting, she also doesn't care to ponder how she's being perceived. Her heart feels to heavy to notice the many things happening around her.
"It's gonna be alright girl, I promise." Applejack tries to be confident in her words, she hates seeing Pinkie in this way.
"I couldn't even look at him." Pinkie's voice matches her face exactly, expressing her disappointment in her character, to what Applejack knew up to this point, was only full of joy.
"I don't think this is a good time for me right now AJ. I'm sorry." Pinkie's low pitched voice travels to Applejack's ears. "I'm sorry for being me." Her mind relays to itself.
"Wait! Pinkie Pie!" Applejack calls for her friend. Pinkie trots off, Applejack tries to catch up with her, but in the large field of rich apple tree leaves, she loses her. She's never seen Pinkie Pie act this way before, she suspected her feelings for the way she felt towards Anon to be true, but she had no idea just how much it affected her.
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Well that escalated quickly.
Honestly almost snapped my neck at how fast Pinkie went from being motivated by AJ to running off in self-deprecation. At least AJ didn't get in Anons face about what he said (the poor guy is more lost than Pinkie)
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Thank you for reading all the way through! I hope you stick around to read the rest, but if not, your opinions are very valid and again, I'm glad you gave feedback all the way from the start!
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Oh, I'm sticking around. Just because I've got some conflicting ideas doesnt
mean I getting off this ride.
Of all the characters in My Little Pony, Pinkie Pie is probably one of the volatile sagelike ponies out there. You could write so many different mysterious, horror and mindfuck stories with her because her personality just clicks. I like how this story is unfolding so far. What can I say as criticism? I guess the only thing that comes to mind is making Anons personality more concrete, that goes for the Delicate Trixie story you wrote as well. But I will get to that in another comment. Good read
And lovely choice of artwork by the way.
Says there's an update but don't see it. Might wanna fix that.
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I accidentally published an unfinished chapter! Yikes on me, and sorry about that!😳
OBJECTION!
Shining Armor was a goofy nerd who was terrible at talking with mares yet he ended up capturing the heart of the most popular princess of his school.
So your strange wackiness doesn't exempt you from being Marefriend material. It highens it. Anon is just bad at reading stuff