The Journal of John Smith

by reedman

Day 5

Well this sucks. We both overslept. I feel like such an idiot. The only reason we woke up is because Lyra came by when she was the only one at the train station. None of us knew what to say. Our only window of opportunity was gone. Twilight had made the announcement by now. Now there were ponies combing over Ponyville for me. We had some time, as most ponies feared the forest. Though the money would tempt some to eventually face their fears. This house would no doubt be their first destination. Zecora said it's time for Plan B. I have the potion in hand. Not a clue in the world what this does. She says I have to pour it on myself.

Man I wish I didn't sleep in.

***

This is weird. So I don't feel different. I don't look different. I have a lot of smoke around me. I think it's coming out of me. Zecora has me looking in a mirror. The smoke will make me look invisible. As long as nobody(nopony?) looked through the smoke or the smoke is blown away. The smoke is only visible to me it seems.

So this is why Plan B was for desperate measures. All it's gonna take is a pony who doesn't understand personal space or a really strong breeze. A bit of a thread our plan's hanging on.

***

Alright we're just getting out of the forest. We're all super nervous. I told them our actual backup plan was the crystal. I could teleport us back to the forest if things went south.

Ponies are approaching. A small group of stallions. They seem to be the first walking in. Apparently there were some pegasi already flying above. Great. Flying ponies. We passed without incident. I should be slow with my writing. No telling how sharp their hearing is.

***

It is insane how many ponies are out and about. Searching every nook and cranny. Lyra says she's never seen so many ponies around here. That's not encouraging. Walking between my cohorts at the moment. If Lyra or Zecora start getting interrogated, things could go south fast.

Another pony walked up. She went by the name Bon Bon. She was Lyra's friend/roommate. Turns out a good number of ponies were at their house asking for Equestria's human expert. A lot of them figured the pony who's into humans would know where one would hide. Lyra tried to end the conversation by saying she and Zecora were heading to Canterlot until this all blew over. Not a good idea apparently.

The rich elite of Canterlot had put up bounties of their own for my capture. They didn't know what I was. They just knew that an alien would make for a good pet. At least that's the reasoning Bon Bon heard. Now the number of ponies hunting me down got even bigger.

***

Zecora said we were halfway to the train station. She says this just as the cause of my troubles walks up. It took a lot of restraint to not smack Twilight with my cane. I had to stay concealed. Lyra and Zecora were plenty mad for me though. They both glared at her intensely. I want to say something, but it would ruin the plan entirely. I have to let these three argue it out themselves.

Lyra asked her if she was happy with what she did. She had the whole town going crazy over this bounty on me. Even the Canterlot elite put up their own bounties in hopes of getting me for themselves as en exotic pet. Twilight had the gall to say that none of this would've happened if the two of them had taken me at the hospital when they had the chance. Lyra said that I deserve to be free, not captured and studied. This mare even offered her mirror she used to observe Earth to call off this bounty. Wow.

Twilight said it was too late. Even if she rescinded her bounty on me, the elite still had theirs. She wanted to study me, they wanted an alien pet. They didn't even know what I was. She said I would be safer with her compared to those in Canterlot. She looked over to Zecora. Twilight told her that if she really wants what's best for me, she would hoof me over. My zebra friend had such a sick comeback. She said and I quote: "You claim to know what's best for the hoomin, yet you caused all the trouble he's in."

Twilight didn't say a word as we walked away. How I wish I could high five Zecora right now.

***

A lot of ponies kept interrupting our walk to the train station. Some would ask Lyra for her help in exchange for a cut of the bounty. They asked everything about me. From my eating habits so they could make traps, to possible places I would hide. She told them all I was a meat-eater in hopes to scare them. A couple of mares had the brilliant idea of using themselves as bait, and went home to get the ingredients to make themselves taste good. Gotta admire their tenacity.

Zecora wasn't free from the interruptions either. They weren't as nice as they were with Lyra. They would accuse her of harboring me. They would demand to know where she was hiding me. Luckily for her, my former prediction was right. Members of Team Freedom would show up and keep the harassers busy enough for us to slip away.

A close call came up when we bumped into this mare. She was with her big brother, little sister, and their dog. The mare even had a cool cowboy hat on and had a southern accent. Her name was Applejack. She said she wasn't waiting for Twilight's help because her family needed the money for the farm. She must be one of the friends I was told about. That yappy little dog would not stop sniffing and barking at me. Lyra was quick to say that she and Zecora had my smell all over them since they saw me last before I up and disappeared. Despite a questioning stare, the group bought it. The group made their way towards the spooky forest.

Not even lunchtime and this day is seriously stressful. Hoping we can all relax on the train.

***

I tried to ignore the slight bit of pain I was feeling in my left foot from all that walking I just did. Now that we're on the train, I could finally sit down. With every pony combing through Ponyville for me, we had the whole train car to ourselves. Zecora sat across from me. Lyra sat next to me. A part of me is hoping that this whole fiasco will have a happy ending. The princess in charge would call off all bounties. Twilight would have to apologize to me. I get sent home to my sorely missed bungalow. I'm gonna catch some shuteye. I'll let them know.

***

Got woken up by Lyra. We were almost there. It looked real fancy through the window. I could make out the castle. The walk didn't look too far. A five minute walk past some official looking buildings. The train station was in the distance. The plan was to walk just like back in Ponyville. Lyra on my left, Zecora on my right.

Not gonna say that things are looking up. That's when bad stuff happens. No need to jinx myself. I will say one thing. It's about lunchtime because I am hungry.

***

Zecora really needs to plan her potions better. It turns out invisibility potions are canceled out by apple cider. Not the apple I was eating, oh no. APPLE CIDER! At least we were close to an alleyway when it happened. We got lucky. I'm ducked behind a trashcan while they panic. I wondered if making a run for the castle was viable.

The crystal's glowing again. Weird because it hasn't seen sunlight since I last used it. It's bright enough to see through my hoodie pocket. Maybe I should pull it out and see what it's doing.

***

I was close. I was so close. The castle was right there. This nightmare was almost over. It was all right in front of me. Then what happens?

Twilight Sparkle.

She somehow managed to not only track my crystal, but follow it. She appeared right in front of me, and now I'm inside a bubble. Lyra and Zecora are here too. This bubble is really crowded. There's four other ponies with Twilight.

A yellow one is congratulating her. She hides behind the nerd when she looks at me. She actually said "please don't eat me". The least the purple nuisance could've done is explain what an omnivore was.

There's a blue one. A pegasus. She says I don't look so tough. She even mocks me for the cane. If I get out of this bubble, she's getting whacked with it for sure.

The white one comments on how filthy I look. It only just dawned on me I haven't showered in five days. So one of them is right on something.

There's a pink one. Though all she's doing is bouncing around like my little cousin did when I gave him coffee. She said something about throwing me a party.

I don't think I ever heard anyone ever yell angrily and rhyme at the same time. Zecora had me both impressed and intimidated. The zebra was going off on Twilight. Her obsession with me. Her inability to take no for an answer. Her refusal to put morals over science. Never have I listened to such a poem of fury. I wish I could've written it down.

Lyra looked like she had some stuff she wanted to say too but didn't. You couldn't top a speech like that. I said something though. I asked her if all this was worth it. If causing all this chaos was worth it. If throwing the local populace into a human-hunting frenzy was worth the so-called science.

She was quiet. Her friends stared at her in shocked silence. Guess they didn't get the full story. Maybe I can use this. They may be her friends, but I think a good sob story will do the trick.

I had asked the yellow pony if she knew how horrible Twilight had treated me the past few days. She immediately defended her friend. Claimed that Twilight would never do anything bad to another creature. Too perfect of an opening. I told her friends how uncaring she was when I initially broke my foot. How she cared more about studying me than taking me to the hospital. How she plotted to kidnap me from the hospital in my condition. I told them how she's the reason I'm still walking on a broken foot.

The plan worked perfectly. Now the five of them are arguing. I intentionally left out Lyra's involvement. She actually recognized the line she crossed and apologized. A lesson Twilight still needed to learn.

I admit that planning ahead is not my forté. The four friends argued enough to distract Twilight. The three of us dropped out of the bubble. Now we were making a mad dash for the castle. It didn't take long for them to realize I was gone. Twilight was hot on our tail. I needed to do something before she had a chance to capture me again. Not sure what the range on her magic was. Writing and running is not a good idea. Plan B time.

***

A part of me wants to fill this page with every swear word I know. Maybe make up a few new ones. Right when I threw the crystal, Twilight blasted it with her magic. I don't know where I am. The crystal was supposed to take me to the forest. This is nowhere remotely close to a forest.

All that running and walking has my foot hurting. I'll take a seat at that cave entrance. It's pretty sunny out. Once I recover, I'll try to come up with a new plan. I hear some (hopefully small) bugs buzzing in the cave. I hope they leave me alone.

***

Not small! Not small!

***

Got captured. Apparently I'm an intruder. Two bug-pony things levitating me in a green bubble right now. I didn't think magic could look gross. Not a huge fan of bugs. The all black motif with blue eyes is cool though. Looks like I'm going to a castle. Meeting their queen. I swear Twilight mentioned a queen somewhere in that spiel she gave me on Equestria's history. Can't remember the name for the life of me.

They're commenting on my appearance and smell. Are bipedal creatures really that rare here? Is my stink really that bad?

***

Well that was a strange sequence of events.

I get dropped in front of the queen. Queen Chrysalis. The fangs were a bit frightening. I get called a spy. Threatened with eternity in prison. Told them the only reason I was here was "that nutcase of a purple unicorn caused this, like all my other problems". Changed the queen's mood real quick. Turns out, she hates Twilight too. While it's for thwarting her plans of ruling Equestria, I'll take help where I get it.

Looks like an enemy of Twilight is a friend of hers. I explained my situation to Queen Chrysalis. I left out the crystal. An artifact with the ability to teleport seemingly anywhere in her hooves is not the best idea. I asked if I could spend the night to get away from the purple nuisance hunting me. She obliged, and even offered a hot bath for me to clean up in. For an evil ruler bent on taking over an entire country, she seems nice. At least to me. Maybe it's just my hate for Twilight making me relatable.

***

That was such a good bath. Everything other than my left foot got a nice long soak. I actually nodded off for a bit in the bath. Didn't know I would miss sitting in hot water that much.

Clothes are gone. Not good. At least I got a towel. They left the contents of my pockets on a table by the door. It's all there. Even the crystal. Not sure if it's luck, or their lack of knowledge. Not gonna question it. There's a guard posted outside the bathroom. Maybe he'll know where my clothes went.

They're getting cleaned up. Chrysalis must really hate Twilight if she's being nice to someone just because they hate her too. I'm not her biggest fan either right now. All we share right now is a dislike for a purple pony. I'll have to find something else that'll make me worth keeping around. Revealing the crystal is out of the question. Scratchies? It worked on the ponies. Though these bugs don't have fur. Hard outer shells. Hmm.

***

Clothes are back. A few holes from being carried in their teeth. No complaints. They even wiped the dirt off my shoes. Nice. They're escorting me back to the queen. She had her subjects get some food for me. At the risk of jinxing myself again, I hope the queen isn't being nice to eat my soul or something.

***

Food was good. A few fruits and veggies snagged from a village not too far. It's the only full meal I've had today. The food reminds me of the hospital. I started to reminisce about Lyra's nonstop desire for scratchies as I ate. Chrysalis asked what scratchies were. I told her they worked best on creatures with fur, not shells. I got a few bites in before a flash of green caught my eye. Now I remember! Twilight said these were changelings. Shapeshifters. The queen looked different. She was light pink. Her hair was bits of purple, yellow, and pink. Seems this was the first form with fur she could think of. Better polish off this dinner. I know what happens next.

***

That was a long two hours. Going for the 'golden scratch spot' yielded the result I expected. She melted just like Lyra did. Her head was in my lap the whole time. The guards in the throne room just kinda stared. She dismissed them after the first few minutes. While the previous receivers of my scratching skills enjoyed it, she was borderline euphoric.

So my stay here in the spooky castle is guaranteed if need be. She changed back to her old self and now we're sharing a bed. She initially planned to lie about a lack of guest beds, but she admitted to wanting scratchies first thing in the morning.

She's cuddling up to me in that pink pony form again. She wants more scratchies before sleeping, so I'll have to call it a day for writing.

Author's Note:

This chapter had me stumped for a minute. Wanted to have a rough idea of where I wanted the story to go before I moved onto the next day. With this Chrysalis bit, I feel I have a path the story can go on. Still no clue on who's behind the crystal. Making it up as I go with that part.

Comments

[Verdauga]

Heh.

[reedman]

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