Estranged Anomalies

by Critical Crunch

Episode 4 - "All Work and No Play"

Kas is trotting around town, deep in thought about what he has learned thus far. Of course, he is also on the hunt for a job, since having to sleep in a tree was less than ideal. Sweet Apple Acres seemed like decent enough work... but it was far as hell, and he only has boundless energy when it is either convenient or funny.

His gaze comes to the market, settling on all sorts of shops. Ponyville had a little bit of everything, it seemed, and he wasn’t about to hang off the others all the time. He was a strong independent stallion, who didn’t need no constant reassurance from folks who perhaps could be his friends. Really, it had been a while since he’d even had a friend. He didn’t know what determined it or not. For all he knew, the seven of them were very close acquaintances.

Still… it is kinda lonely. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, or why he is even here. Sure, it was an effective place to escape to, but… what now?

“Um… mister?”

And he snaps back to attention, locking his gaze on a short, blue earth pony with a fluffy white mane. “Ya-huh?” Kas replies, the other stallion seeming a bit off put by his sudden, intense stare.

“Can I… help you?” The stallion instinctively looks away, trying to avoid Kas’ gaze.

“Oh! Nah, I was just spacing out. I don’t even have any money, hehe.” He leans against the counter, as if the two of them were old friends. “Say! You wouldn’t happen to know if any places are hiring around here… hmm?”

The stallion merchant coughs, slowly shaking his head. “Can’t say I have, mister…”

Thankfully, Kas picks up on it and finishes his sentence for him, “Kasikov! But just Kas is fine.”

And finally, the stallion seems to relax a little. “Then it’s a pleasure. The name’s Soapy Suds, but… just Soap is fine?” He grins sheepishly, trying to match Kas’ gusto, or something, as if he felt obligated to have a nickname too.

He is rewarded with a wide grin from Kas. “Soap it is! Then maybe I worded my request wrong… but, perhaps there may be a gig of sorts for some dosh? Somma’ that glint? The clinkity-clinkities? Shinies? Cash-money-”

Soap holds out a hoof, urging him to stop. “Alright, already! I, er… might be partial to some information regarding a certain sport… the good kind of sport, though! Uh, I mean, it isn’t good in… well, in the eyes of the law, but…” He gulps nervously, as Kas leans further across the counter.

“Now yer’ speaking my language. Keep talking, Sudsy.” Kas’ grin almost was a bit maniacal, now. He got a good lick in with Miss Black Snooty, but… he’d been locked up for a reason. Sure, it might’ve not been for the best reason, but he still had his vices and blatant disregard for the law.

“...Alright. South of the Everfree Forest, keep walking till’ you reach these rocky caves. You’ll meet a fella’ up there who’ll test you. But…” He coughs into a hoof, looking from side to side to make sure no one was looking. “You… you ARE willing to do whatever to make some bits, right?”

Kas shrugs. “Short of chopping off my limbs, but we’ll see where the day takes us.”

The line makes Soap grimace, but he nods. “S’pose this is for you then. I work as a… cleaner, of sorts. So, I imagine I’ll meet you down there.”

Kas was never so thankful for that wild look in his eyes until he was today. There was just something about it that let people know that he was willing to toss caution to the wind and do some morally reprehensible shit.

Still, as he trots toward the Everfree, he can’t help but dwell on what the Princess told him once again...

---

Yesterday...

“I’m adopted?! Oh… oh god!” Kas exclaims, forehooves held up against his face in horror.

And the library inhabitants, Celestia included, all give him a weird look. Hell, even Pinkie Pie was giving him a look of total confusion.

“...I haven’t said anything yet.” Celestia states, breaking the silence. Kas nods slowly, setting his hooves back on the floor.

“Ooh, okay. I thought you might’ve said something off camera.” Again, all blank stares, but understanding flashes on Pinkie’s face.

“Ahh, I getchu! I worry about that sometimes too… but at the same time, I’m not sure where you might have gotten Princess Celestia being your adoptive mother from.” Celestia stares on in silence as Pinkie manages to somehow understand Kas’ nonsense.

“I meant adoptive parents.” Kas reaffirms, to which Celestia nods.

“I understand, but regardless, it has nothing to do with that.” Her horn illuminates, and the necklaces that everypony used against Nightmare Moon, along with the tiara, all float up in the air surrounded by a yellow glow. “Kas… I am to understand you are a new resident to Ponyville.”

He stiffens, and he curses internally because of that fact, since she spots it instantly. “Again, you are not in trouble. I merely wish to clear some things up.”

Kas coughs, looking off to the side. Being put on the spot in the face of his lies was tough against anypony, but against their goddamn demigod Princess or whatever, he was kinda screwed. “Yeah… I don’t like to, er, talk about the details of where I was before it.” He looks up at her, his eyes almost pleading. “Everything is just… so nice here.”

Celestia nods, while the other girls look at him in slight concern at the implications of that statement. “Then am I to assume where you came from prior was a more negative place?” He nods back, Celestia then closing her eyes. “Then I hope you can find peace here in Ponyville. The details of what you left behind you are not relevant, at least not at the moment.” And her gaze opens again, settling back on Kas as his necklace floats above him. “It goes without saying, after gaining everypony’s side of the story… that both you and Pinkie Pie are elements of laughter.”

He tilts his head. “Is that what that was?”

“Indeed, and when I had used them against my sister all those years ago… there were only five. Even my power couldn’t bring the sixth element present, and until I understand where this duplicate element came from… I’d ask that you live in Ponyville for the time.” Kas is fine with this result, so, he nods in agreement. “Excellent. I can provide proper lodging for you with-”

“Wait!” She pauses, looking down at him with slight surprise. “That won’t be necessary. I can take care of it myself, I swear.”

The two have a stare down for what feels like hours, Twilight flicking her gaze nervously between the two. Soon, Celestia smiles, shrugging. “Very well then. I wish you luck on your endeavors.” And with that, she heads out, presumably having already spoken with anyone else beforehoof.

Kas stands tall, looking out a nearby window. Pinkie pops up alongside him, staring at the spaced out earth pony. "So! Whatcha' gonna do now, Kasi?"

Rubbing his chin, he shrugs. "Dunno, but I'll figure it out. Can't be baking, due to my pyro...technical reaction to kitchens." The response, though expected, makes her pout.

"I could still fireproof stuff, y'know... most of it already is fireproof for when Rainbow helps me bake!" And he can hear Rainbow choke in the background, glaring at Pinkie.

"You said we'd NEVER mention that again!"

But her ire is merely met with a smug grin from Pinkie. "Teehee, I didn't mention anything, Dashie! That, would be yoooou~!" Rainbow flinches, looking off to the side and grumbling. Kas just snickers at the display. It was... nice. Being around folk so lighthearted. He got lucky with some of his guard rotations, at times, but they all treated him the same way in the end.

As a prisoner. One to be scorned, ridiculed, and insulted. Pinkie must have noticed the faltering smile on his face, booping him on the nose. His face crinkles as he looks back at her.

"You looked sad! Chin up! You'll find an amazerific job in no time, I'm sure!"

His smile comes back. Never false. Just... sometimes present for different reasons. That was the true dichotomy between the two Element's of Laughter. That laughter had a tendency to come from strange places, at times.

"Hmm, I got a few ideas, that's for sure..."

---

Back in the Present...

He didn’t exactly know why he had to stay in Ponyville. Maybe Celestia didn’t trust him? Or maybe she needed him for those elements to work again? Could be both.

Man, he gets the idea that the girls would have been pretty upset if they found out he slept outside. Thankfully, enough food and drink had been present at the celebrations. Still... it brought a smile to his face to have folk that cared about him again. But it was gonna be tough to get used to.

Before long, he was walking through a break in the trees, his walk through the Everfree Forest brief and uninterrupted. He bumped into Fluffy once more, and gave the manticore some quality belly rubs and head pats.

As Kas nears a particularly seedy cave entrance, which Soap described as such in his own words, with many other unclean descriptors. Literally unclean. There was what seemed to be a bipedal dog. He was quite bulky, and stood about three feet taller than Kas.

“Where you headed.” The dog merely grunts, as Kas looks up at him in wonder.

Kas, to his credit, works to match the grit of the hound. “Fella’ told me there were bits to be earned here for the morally questionable and the desperate.” He flashes a toothy grin. “Don’t s’pose I’m in the right place, hmmm?”

He earns a small grin back from the dog, who sets his arms down at his side. “Depends. You got the hooves for it?”

Kas counters back with, “Let’s just say these hooves are rated 'E' for everyone.”

The dog snorts, holding out a paw towards Kas. “You’re funny, but I’ll be the judge of that. Call me Bronze, everyone does.” And Kas shakes his paw with a hoof, smirking.

“Kasikov, but just Kas is fine.”

The dog seems to raise an eyebrow at that. “You from Stalliongrad? Ain’t often we get folks from there.” Kas silently shakes his head, once again staring at the dog with interest. Bronze chuckles. “What? Never seen a diamond dog before?”

“Never. I lived a very sheltered life.”

Bronze clicks his tongue, tilting his neck to the side with a series of resounding cracks. “Don’t I know that feelin'.” He cracks his knuckles, gaze flicking back down towards Kas. “Enough reminiscing though. Time for chit-chat has ceased. Ready for your entrance exam?”

Kas mulls over what he is getting himself into… for about three seconds, before nodding instantly.

“Then show me what ya’ got, little pony.”

Bronze lunges forward, paw curling into a fist that he pulls back, launching forward before Kas can really process what this exam would entail. All the stretching should’ve been a dead giveaway. He sails backward, before immediately righting himself and skidding back on the ground.

Okay, he could tango with this. Kas wipes a bit of blood drawn from his chin before galloping forward, a spring in his step. Bronze stands tall, raising a knee to try and catch Kas. But Kas is a bit faster than he expected. Kas launches himself off the ground to make up for the height difference between him and the diamond dog, smashing his skull against the other’s. Bronze hisses in pain, backhanding Kas off to the side as his other paw goes up to his head to observe the damage.

Kas spins midair, landing on his feet as bruises start to form on his face. Bronze is weaving towards him without missing a beat, gaze hard and menacing. He swoops his arms down, attempting to catch Kas, but the pony throws him off guard by jumping at him once more. With his forehooves thrown up into the air, Bronze definitely catches him, but the point was to catch him by the waist, not the chest. With his forelegs free, Kas sends a haymaker crashing into Bronze’s jaw, and then several more as he locks his legs around the diamond dog’s chest.

Bronze reels his head back, before sending it crashing forward, colliding forcefully with Kas and weakening his grip. Then, Kas feels a spiking pain as teeth sink into his neck, further weakening his grasp before he is thrown several feet away, onto the ground. To Kas’ credit once more, he rights himself in seconds, ignoring his new wound and making a beeline for Bronze, a quick sucker punch catches the panting diamond dog off guard, making him buckle. Kas springs backward this time, nimbly dodging an oncoming headbutt. This time, Bronze smirks at him, standing upright and wiping blood from his jaw, belonging to both Kas and him.

“Not bad, pal. Not bad at all. Gave as good as you got. Lotsa neat tricks up your sleeves. Never seen a pony move like that before.” He cracks his neck, sighing at the feeling. “A lot hardier than you look, gotta say that much. Don’t see many ponies with a build like you get up after hard hits like that a lot.”

Kas grunts, wiping blood off his neck with a forehoof. “Thanks.” His gaze locks back onto Bronze, who is shuffling through his vest. “So… we good?”

And Bronze hands him a laminated card, with reads the words ‘Southstone Brawl Pit’, with it bearing several blood splatters and a red fist. “Think you’ll fit right in.” Are Bronze’s words as he waves Kas off, who grins in response.

As he walks in, he stops, casting a gaze towards Bronze. “You here all day?”

The diamond dog shakes his head. “Nope. I sub out shifts. I’m here for the day, a fella’ is here for the night. Unless we need more security, then I go wherever the hell they put me.”

Kas nods silently, smiling at him. “Cool. Maybe catch me in there when you’re off. We can do lunch, or something.” Bronze looks at him all shifty-eyed now, head tilted.

“Any reason why?”

And Kas shrugs, but it is a well-meaning one. “Maybe I just can appreciate a good right hook?”

Bronze stares at him, before cracking a wide smile and snickering. “Think you must be one of the few that has complimented me on kicking the shit outta them without it bein’... one-sided as all hell.” Kas stares at him expectantly, eyebrow raised. “Yeah, sure pal. Try not to die before I find ya’, dining with a corpse probably won’t be all that entertainin’, ya feel me?”

Kas just giggles, nodding as he trots off through the cave. For a bit, it is kinda dark, but then the walls become illuminated with torches of all colors. Blue, green, pink, red. Then, he comes upon a wide open room, a massive pit in the center and seats all around the elevated portion of it. There are shoddy doors leading off to other rooms in the back, and dining area and a bar… it is seedy, but also pretty damn fresh. He was just planning to take Bronze out to Ponyville, but this is way more convenient

He gazes down into the pit, watching what looked like a gryphon and some bug-like creature duke it out, dried blood staining the floor of the pit. In a nearby cabinet was some of Soap’s stock.

Kas feels his smile become more malicious, as he feels his face. Hardly even sore anymore. Then, he touches his neck, with the wound having become much more shallow than it once was.

Being a good fighter could be a small hurdle… but he had other strengths too.