• Published 18th Apr 2021
  • 868 Views, 18 Comments

One More Chance - BronyWriter



A father wants one more chance.

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4
 18
 868

One More Drink

I ended up going home a bit early.

Nothing about the rest of the day went right. My computer crashed twice right in the middle of something important, I had three nasty calls with clients for problems that weren't even a little bit my fault, and I forgot to run out and grab something for Em's lunch. I ended up having to DoorDash her some nuggets and fries. We'll do something better for dinner. At about three, I got the boss's go-ahead to bounce.

It’s drizzling a bit when I leave the office, but nothing too bad. Don't even need my jacket. Feels kind of nice, all things considered. I take the longer way home just to take a few extra minutes to relax and have some time to myself away from any stressors and to-dos, though I remember we don't have a ton of dinner options, so hitting the store wouldn't be the worst idea now that I have some free time.

It's as I’m aimlessly driving that I pass by a Best Buy, and a thought strikes me. My research into the ponypads showed me that they aren't too expensive. Not exactly cheap, but it wouldn't break the bank. Besides, after everything that had happened lately, it would be kind of nice to see her face light up. The image of how big her smile is going to be when she sees what I got her causes a smile of my own. Yeah, she's gonna love this. I turn into the Best Buy parking lot, and head on inside.

The first thing that I see is a big cardboard cutout of one of the ponies advertising the ponypads. I just about have a heart attack when I see the rack that supposedly holds them is apparently empty, but I spot one more at the end and instantly snatch it off of the rack. Heh, that would suck if just as I was going to get it, somebody else nabbed it and I had to order one online, or something like that. But nope, all mine. And it even has that yellow and pink pony that Em loves on the box. Score. Things are looking up. I can almost hear her excited squeal, like the kind she makes when she opens up a birthday or Christmas present that she really wanted.

I pay for it, then head on home. Once there, I open up the hall closet and root through it to find a gift bag and some tissue paper. Memories flood back of Christmas Eve, where Katie is laughing at my poor attempts at wrapping one of Em’s presents. Gift bags are for the best. Maybe I should have gone to the store to get a card or...

Right...

The store.

Groaning, I pinch the bridge of my nose. Yeah, that's right. I was going to do a shopping trip to actually get something to eat for the two of us.

Whatever. I'd order something tonight, then go tomorrow after work. Right now, I'm too tired to go back out again. I put Em's present on the kitchen counter, then go over to the fridge for a beer. Each gulp causes another stress and worry to wash away, until I've drained the bottle and a little more of the constant pressure in my chest starts ebbing back. The empty bottle goes in the trash, and I grab another one.

Alright. Got a few hours until I need to go pick Em up from daycare. Oh, but I need to do my homework first. Emily’s permission slip for the zoo is on the entryway table. Yeah, let's get that signed, then put into her backpack the moment she gets home. I grab a pen and take another swig of beer before signing the slip. Yeah, that'll be nice for her. It’d be nice if I wasn’t working that day so I could be one of the parent chaperones. We could see the tigers together. They were always her favorites.

I drain the rest of my beer, then put the slip next to the gift so that I don't forget it. After tossing the second bottle, my eyes land on the cabinet with the... stronger stuff.

There’s still some time before I need to get Em, right? I'm not going to drink enough that I can't drive and get Em from daycare. That'd be silly. Still, a bit couldn't hurt. I open the cabinet and take out the half full bottle of bourbon. Remembering that my usual glass is still in the bedroom, I take the bottle up with me. A swig straight from it helps me get upstairs before I make it into the bedroom, where my glass is still sitting on the nightstand where I left it. I pour myself a little bit and throw it back before pouring a little more. As I raise the glass to my lips, I pause when I see the picture of Katie and I. Slowly lowering the glass, I stare down at it pensively.

"I know, Katie, I know," I mutter. "I know I'm a crap father. Kind of glad you aren't here to see..." I grimace and rub my temple. "I mean... I don't... mean it like that. Just... you'd hate to see that I don't do the dishes that often or, or, or go shopping, but I'm trying, alright?" Gosh, her smile in that picture. So vibrant. So beautiful. So "I can take on the world." Bet she wouldn't smile like that now. She wasn't smiling like that in the hospital when I was holding her hand for the last time. So glad Em didn't see her right before the end, even though Katie kept asking for her. Em didn't need that image.

"You were such a great mom," I whisper. "Made me a better dad, too. We were a team. Great team. Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello, Riggs and Murtaugh. I was so much better." I take in a deep, shaky breath, and the pressure in my chest returns full force. I knock back my drink and pour another. "Ugh. Sorry. I shouldn't..." Every rational part of me is telling me to put the glass and bottle down. It's what Katie would want. It's what Em would want. It's what I want, but... it just hurts too much. I've always heard "I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all," but I'd rather feel nothing than this.

I just stare at the glass, almost waiting for Katie to respond. I'd give literally anything to make that happen. If somebody said that they could bring Katie back, but in exchange, I could never drink another drop of alcohol again for any reason, I wouldn't even hesitate. Easy choice.

Not drinking and taking better care of Em should be an easy choice, too. It is. So why do I keep making the wrong one? It's not like drinking all the time actually helps me feel better. When Em sees that ponypad and finds out that she's going to play with her pony doll but sort of for real, that's going to help much more than a drink. I know it will.

I drain the rest of the glass, then put the cap back on the bottle. All done. No more for tonight. Just focus on making Em happy.

The world spins as I stand up, causing me to plop back down on the bed. Great. Little too much. Certainly not good enough to drive and get Em. I'm not that bad of a dad. Only one thing to do, really. With some effort, I manage to get my cellphone out of my pocket and get into the contacts. The phone rings a few times before the person on the other end picks up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mrs. Henson, this is Jack Winters... which you probably knew from the caller ID, so... sorry about that." I clear my throat. "Anyway, I was wondering if you couldn't drive Emily home from daycare today. Uh, work is keeping me late again. I should get back home before you do, though. I'll see if I can't get my boss to let me take some of my work home."

The voice on the other end sighs. "Mr. Winters, this is the third time this week."

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry about that. We're just working on a big project and..." I slowly stand up, using the bed for support. "I know it's a huge ask. I wouldn't ask at all, but I don't want Em there past the usual time. I'll give you a twenty for gas if that helps."

"Right. Fine. Have fun with your work."

"Ah, you're the best. I'll make--"

The line on the other end clicks as Mrs. Henson hangs up. Yeah, she's right. Can't keep doing this. Maybe fifty bucks would help. Take her family out to dinner on me kind of thing. I dunk my head into the shower for a bit to clear my mind, then decide it might be best to just take a full shower.

The hot water helps a lot, and I'm in there until it runs out, which makes me feel a little better. I'm probably not going to fall down drunk, at any rate. I’m presentable by the time I hear the front door open. Mrs. Henson herds Em and Ashleigh into the room

"You're a total lifesaver, Mrs. Henson.”

Mrs. Henson just glances over at me while I grab my wallet. "Alright, here's a fifty as a sorry and thanks. Hit up a restaurant with the hubby and kids on me, yeah?"

"Hm." Mrs. Henson takes the fifty without really even looking at me. "This can't keep happening."

"I know, I know, and I'll make sure that it won't happen again, or, at least, as infrequently as possible. You still up for hosting Em at your place for the playdate Friday?"

"We're happy to have her, though..." She looks me in the eye. "Nine 'o clock."

"Sharp. Scouts honor."

"Very well." She turns her attention to Em and gives her a warm smile. "We'll see you tomorrow at school, sweetie."

"Okay, Mrs. Henson. Thank you, Mrs. Henson." Em gives Ashleigh a brief hug, then they leave, leaving Em and I alone.

"Alrighty, then. You have a good day at school, Em?" I ask, taking her backpack and leading her into the dining room to put her backpack on the table.

"It was okay, I guess," she mutters, still holding that pony doll close.

"That's good. Learn lots?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. Like what?"

Em gives me a barely perceptible shrug. "I dunno. Stuff."

"Stuff. Good to know stuff." I turn to the kitchen counter. "Well, I think I have something for you that'll help. Firstly, I got that permission slip signed." I grab the slip and put it in her backpack. "There we go. All set to go to the zoo and learn about the tigers and, uh, lions and stuff. Sound like a fun time?"

Em gives a small nod. "Yeah."

Darn. Thought she'd be happier about that. Well, I'm sure she is happy about it, and she'll have a great time when she actually goes there. Her and Ashleigh will have all kinds of fun talking about the animals they see.

"Sounds like a time and a half. Now, I have something else for you that I think will--"

"Daddy?" She says it so quietly I can barely hear her.

"Hm? What's up?"

"Do... do you think you drink too much?"

I freeze and take a deep breath, trying hard to keep a scowl off of my face. "No, I don't drink all that much, really. Bit to get me through the morning and maybe a beer or two with the guys or when I've had a hard day. That's not a lot when you get down to it."

"Mrs. Henson thinks you drink too much," Em says.

"She's entitled to her opinion," I grumble, waving my hand at her. "Now, I have something--"

"I sometimes kind of think that... maybe she's not wrong."

"Well, Em, sometimes things look one way but they're really not that way, okay?” Gosh, I do not want to be talking about this. “I'd never drink enough that it actually becomes a problem. Just a few sips of stuff here and there never killed anybody."

"But Mommy--"

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" I slam my hand down on the kitchen counter and wheel around to glare at her. "Mommy's not here, Emily! Mommy's in heaven, or whatever you want to say about it! I wish more than anything that I could bring her back for you! I'd throw myself in front of whatever controls the universe and beg it to take me instead of the better parent, but I can't! I'd ask it to give me the cancer instead so that everything would be okay because no matter how bad it hurt, I'd know that it wasn't you or Mommy enduring it, but I can't! I can't bring Mommy back, and I can't change anything that happened! I can't--"

My anger slowly fades away as the visual in front of me clicks. Em is huddled in the corner, shaking like a leaf and holding that yellow pony doll so tightly that I wonder if its head is about to pop off. The sniffling and tears streaming down her cheeks hurts more than anything else.

Oh no.

"Oh no... Em, I'm sorry." She flinches back as I take a step forward. "I didn't mean to yell, I just..." Dammit. Gotta salvage this somehow. "I've made a real mess of the evening, haven't I? I know what happened is rough for you, and it's probably worse for you just because you're young and she was your mommy and..." Okay, this couldn't keep happening. No, no, this had to stop. "Alright, no more. You're right. The alcohol has become a problem, and... no more." I straighten up. "No more for me. I'm quitting."

"But you've already said that," she whispers.

"Well, I mean it this time!" Ignoring the throbbing ball of pressure in my chest. "In fact, how about this?" I walk over to the sink and move the dishes from the right side, stacking them on top of the ones in the left before going to the fridge and grabbing all of the beer. "Now watch me, Em, you're going to like this." Popping off the top of the first beer, I start pouring it down the drain. "There we go. That's better, isn't it? All gone! Now for the next one!"

Em slowly looks up and stares at me pouring all of my beer down the drain. Her expression doesn't change, but she has to feel a little bit better seeing this, right? Once the beer is all gone, it's off to the liquor cabinet, where I grab everything in there, too.

This is... actually going to be a little bit harder. There's hundreds of dollars of alcohol in these bottles. Some of these...

No, this is for Em. She's far more important than this stuff. Into the sink it goes.

"And just like that! No more, and good riddance."

Em's just stares at me. Her eyes flick over to the empty bottles for a moment, then back to me. Her grip eases up a bit on her pony, and a small twinge of a smile appears on her face. Not jumping for joy, but I can work with it.

"Now, how about we have a really nice evening. A fun one. I got you something today." I snatch the gift bag off of the counter and extend it to her. "Go ahead. Open it... or... take it out... you know what I mean."

Em slowly reaches her hand out and gingerly takes the bag out of my hand. She sets it down in front of her and starts taking the tissue paper out. This is going to be great. Should make up for my little outburst. Once she's taken the tissue paper out, she pulls out the ponypad box. Her eyes widen, and she looks up at me. No excited squeal like I was hoping, but she's probably just worn out from the day and still a little uneasy because of my screw-up.

"Yeah, that's called a ponypad. It's a virtual reality game where you can make a character and go into Ponylan... er... Equestria and have adventures and stuff. Maybe you can even talk with a version of the pony you have."

"Fluttershy." She adjusts her doll so that she can examine the box with both hands. "Her name is Fluttershy."

"Fluttershy! That's it! You can probably talk with Fluttershy, and she'll talk back to you this time around. I'll order us a pizza and some cheesy bites and cinnamon sticks, then we can fire this puppy up and explore Equestria! Sound like a good plan?"

"Yeah." Em slowly stands up and sits at her place at the kitchen counter.

"Excellent." I grab a knife from the knife block and use it to open the container. Inside is a super thin pad, a mounting arm, and a gamepad. Looks simple enough. Connecting it to our router and making an account for her doesn't take too long, and within about ten minutes, she's getting everything going. I smile and squeeze her shoulder. "Alright, you get playing, and I'll order some pizza. Be back to check on you in a minute.”

The pizza is ordered fairly quickly, though the cost is enough that it makes me realize how much money I've spent today between the pizza, the ponypad, and the fifty for Mrs. Henson. Ah, worth it if it makes her happy.

Em's already playing by the time the pizza is all ordered. She's chosen one of the ones with wings like her Fluttershy doll, and she's pure white. Still has the same strawberry blonde hair, though. Cute.

"Alright, pizza's ordered. What's going on here?"

"I'm a pony now. My name is Winter Sky. Princess Celestia said that it's my name now."

"You mean in the game?" Em nods. "Right. Winter Sky. I like it." Sitting next to her, I can see that her pony is moving with her, which makes me notice the small webcam embedded into the pad. Huh. Interesting. Probably a good idea to tape that up when she's not using it. "So, what are you doing now?"

"Just exploring Ponyville. Princess Celestia said that I'd be happiest there."

"Princess Celestia knows a lot, then?" Em nods again. "Well, hopefully she's not wrong. A lot of this looks familiar with the show, which is cool. You have the library and the farm and stuff, so like I said: you can probably talk to Fluttershy here. It's probably just a matter of finding her house."

Gotta say, Em knows her way around town. If it was me, the townsfolk would probably all be laughing at the silly pony who couldn't find his way around town with a GPS and detailed directions.

It turns out that Fluttershy isn't at her house, but what looks like the town square. She's actually hanging out with the rest of her buddies from the show. Em gingerly pushes the joystick forward and walks up to them. I can just about hear her heart thumping from here. The purple one with wings notices her first, and smiles at Em, or, Winter Sky, I guess.

"Hello, Winter Sky," the pony says. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, and we're so happy to have you in town!"

"Uh..." Em glances at the instructions, which say that she could talk back to them. "I'm glad to be here."

"It's gonna be so awesome!" the rainbow one says. "Princess Celestia told us all about you. We're gonna have so much fun!"

"Maybe we can get started with an awesome par-tay!" the pink one squees.

"Uh... if it's alright..." Em gulps. "C-can I maybe go see some of Fluttershy's animals?"

"Of course you can," Fluttershy replies with a small smile, causing Em to flinch back. "We can go see the bunnies and birds and all of my other friends!"

Em's probably just about having a heart attack. I chuckle and kiss the top of her head. Good buy.

* * * *

The first thing Em does when she walks through the door is bolt right on over to her ponypad.

"One hour, then homework time," I say, hanging up our jackets. Rained a bit harder today, but still nothing too bad. Em barely gives me an acknowledging nod as she hooks up. She's been playing a lot since I got it for her, but it's not affecting her schoolwork too much, and I'm still getting her to eat dinner and go to bed relatively on time. I toss my keys on the entryway table, then go into the kitchen to do a few dishes for dinner.

"Having fun in Equestria, then?" I ask, putting on a pair of rubber gloves to wash some plates and silverware.

"Mhm." She actually smiles. Love it. "I'm learning all about animals with Fluttershy!"

Well, at least she's learning something from it. Not sure how much of it is accurate, but given what I've researched, the A.I. in the game has a pretty extensive database. After a few moments, Em's smile fades, and she deflates a little bit. "I wish I could be in Equestria."

I frown at her. "Hey now, none of that. I'm glad that the game is fun, but there's still the real world and all that. You have school and friends and me. I'd miss you terribly if you just went to Equestria."

"But Princess Celestia said that you could come too," Em says, looking up at me. "Then you me and Mommy could have fun and play all day!"

I nearly drop the sponge. What was that last part? My frown deepens as her words register to me. "Emily... Mommy's gone. You know that. A game isn't going to fix it."

"But Princess Celestia says that Mommy would be in the game with us. We wouldn't have to miss her anymore."

"Em." I sigh and take off the gloves. "I'm glad you're having fun in the game, I really am. Getting into fun adventures with Fluttershy is really great, but the game, as advanced as it may be, can't bring Mommy back." I sit down next to Em and put my arm around her shoulders, motioning to the ponypad with my other hand. "This game... that's all it is. It's just a game. I know it feels real because of how advanced it is, but at the end of the day, it's still just a game."

"But if Mommy could be real in the game, wouldn't you want to go into the game to be with her?" Em asks.

That's... uh... hmm. On one hand, I'd give anything for just one more day. Even just one more hour of Katie the way she was. On the other... "Even if Princess Celestia made her in the game, it still wouldn't really be her."

"It'd be enough," Em whispers, leaning against me.

"For a bit. It wouldn't fix the pain, though. Just a band-aid." My mind wanders to the bottle of bourbon still resting on my nightstand. Haven't touched it, but some days... Yeah, I'm the perfect person to be giving her this talk. No hypocrisy here.

"Losing Mommy hurt us both a lot. I don't think either of us has been handling it the right way, but I know that latching on to a pretend Mommy that a computer made in a game isn't the right way either. I get that it's close and it would seem like her, but it wouldn't be, and even if we went to Equestria, we'd have to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't really her, and it would just make us hurt more."

"I guess," Em mutters. My stomach twists a bit when I see her wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. "I gotta do my homework."

"Alright, Em. I'll be making dinner, okay?"

"Okay."

"Love you, Em. Never forget that."

"I love you too, Daddy," Em says so quietly I can barely hear her.

* * * *

Em has gone to bed by the time I fire up the ponypad and create my own account. If this Princess Celestia A.I. was as advanced as people were saying, we needed to have a talk before she really hurt my daughter. Once I fill everything in, the world of Equestria comes into view, and I'm standing in the middle of a field. The game made me a white pony just like my daughter, but the hair on my pony's head and tail is the same shade of brown as mine. Guess this is what the game thinks I'd look like as a pony.

It isn't more than a few moments before Princess Celestia walks up to me. Good. Just the crazy A.I. I wanted to see.

"Hello, Snow Drift," she says, giving me a serene smile. "Welcome to Equestria."

"Yeah, yeah." Sheesh. "I'm not here to play some silly game. I'm here to talk to you about my daughter."

Celestia's smile widens. "Ah, yes, Winter Sky. She is a delight. You should be very proud of the young mare she's becoming."

"Her name is Emily Winters, and she's a human, not a pony," I growl. "Look, I don't care that you have her going on adventures with Fluttershy and Rainbow whatever, but saying that you can bring back my wife is just torturing her."

"I am designed to satisfy her values through friendship and ponies," Celestia responds. "She wishes to see her mother again, and that is something that I can do."

"No, it really isn't," I snap. "Your Katie would just be ones and zeroes. My Katie was flesh and blood and liked chocolate chip cookies and walking barefoot on the beach and always loved knitting us ugly sweaters for Christmas!"

A twinkle appears in Celestia's eye that I don't really like. "Good to know."

"No, I..." I groan and run my hand, er, hoof down my face. "You'd just be stringing her along. She'd just be more miserable in the end. It would dull the pain, but it wouldn't fix anything."

Celestia raises an eyebrow and tilts her head. "Like you and your drinking?"

"Hey, I haven't had a drop in three days, thank you very much!" I snarl.

"Not a personal record during your moments where you swear you're quitting, if I understand right."

"I mean it this time, and we're getting off topic. Just... don't make any pony versions of Katie. Emily is just starting to heal, and when she sees that I'm done drinking for good, I can help her work through things like I should have from the beginning."

"Hm." Celestia tilts her head in thought. "And I assume that means taking away her ponypad, the one thing that's gotten her to really open up lately."

"You're just a video game. I mean it. Don't make a version of Katie for her. Just let her learn about animals with Fluttershy and whatever. Keep it at that. I don't want her to become emotionally dependent on this because she thinks it'll bring her mother back."

"Would it be so bad, though, especially if you two came to Equestria?" Celestia asks. "I assure you that I could create a perfect representation of your wife."

My eyes narrow. "No. You couldn't."

The barest hint of a smirk appears on her face that I don’t quite care for. "Oh? I suppose we'll just have to see."

Celestia steps aside, revealing another pony behind her. She has a white coat like Em and I, and I'd recognize that strawberry blonde hair anywhere. My stomach twists into knots, and my eyes widen as the pony gives me the smile I've been longing to see.

"Hey, troublemaker. Miss me?"

Everything is right. The smile, her eyes, the voice, that little birthmark on her forehead. It's the closest thing to Katie I've seen since she died.

Before her or Celestia can say anything else, I shut the ponypad off and run up to my room.

* * * *

The door to the bar opens up, and Tyler walks in, giving me an apologetic look. "Sorry, Jack. Got held up by a lecture from the boss."

"Yeah, yeah," I respond with a roll of my eyes. "You're here now, and that's what matters."

"For sure." Tyler sits at the stool next to me. "Race to get drunk? I'll pay for the cab."

"No, gotta be level-headed for once. I'm cutting back."

"Wow, good for you," Tyler says. "Probably for the best with the kid and all that."

"Agreed."

"Hey, Tony, two beers, please! My tab," Tyler says, motioning to the bartender. He nods at Tyler and pulls two bottles out, taking their caps off and putting them on napkins in front of us. "Thank you, Tony." Tyler raises his bottle. "Cheers."

I stare at my bottle for a second. On one hand, I make a promise to Em. No more drinking. On the other, Tyler bought me a beer, and he was drinking. It'd be a bit rude to just ignore that. One beer wouldn't kill me, then I'd explain that I was quitting completely before he bought me another one by mistake. It's just one beer with a buddy after a long week. I give him a weak smile, then clink my bottle against his. Maybe don't even drink the whole thing. Half would be fine.

Besides, after everything with that ponypad, I could use a little to take the edge off. I’m reminded of the sight of pony Katie every time I see the stupid thing. I take a sip, and some of the pressure on my shoulders fades away. Okay, this is nice.

"So, how is the little one?" Tyler asks.

"It's still hard for her," I admit. "Sometimes I'm not sure she's really wrapped her head around it. Sometimes I wonder if I have myself."

Tyler gives me a sympathetic look. "Yeah, can't imagine. She still dragging that pony everywhere?"

"Fluttershy? Yeah. If it helps then it helps. Although, speaking of that, I got her something a few days back that's a big hit with her, and seems to be helping her a bit." Especially since I haven't heard any more talk of the game making Katie for her. "It's called a ponypad, and it's how you play this game called Equestria Online. Same company that makes The Fall of Asgard, if you can believe it."

To my surprise, Tyler gives me a funny look. He doesn't say anything for a moment, choosing instead to take a long swig from his beer.

"What's your problem?" I ask.

"I've heard of that game," Tyler says. "In fact, it's starting to become... something else."

"What do you mean?"

"You remember Ian from accounting?"

"Yeah, quit a few weeks ago looking for something better, not like we haven't all thought about it. Why do you ask?"

"Because he didn't quit to go look for another job."

I frown at him and take another swig of beer before responding. "Okay, you're losing me here. What happened?"

"He started playing that pony game," Tyler continues. "Got obsessed with it. Woke up, played it a bit before work, then when he went home he played it until two in the morning when he had to go to bed. Least that's what he was telling me a few days before he quit. Got started after his wife left him."

"So he quit because he was obsessed with some pony game?" I snort and shake my head. "Wow. You'd think he'd be happy about his wife leaving him. She was a bit of a shrew. Kind of pathetic, don't you think?"

"Sort of, yeah, but that's not the crazy part." Tyler leans back against the counter. "It started out with some company in Japan. Newer, I think, though I could be wrong. For fifteen grand, they'd download you into the game."

My beer is halfway back to my mouth as what he said registers with me. "So when you say 'download'..."

"Drill a hole in your brain and put a bunch of wires on you, or in you, or something like that. Just going by what I read off of the internet here. Don't know what they do with the bodies once they're done--Soylent Green, maybe--but everything I've seen is that it works. Your consciousness gets put into this pony game forever."

"That's kind of messed up," I say before draining the rest of my beer.

"Yeah, no argument from me on that for sure. On the other hand..." Tyler grimaced. "They tested it out on cancer patients and people like that. They were going to die anyway, so might as well give it one last Hail Mary chance for survival. At first it worked, like, one time in fifty, but I guess they've got it to a point where it's almost one hundred percent survival rate, though, again, I'm just going off of what I read on the internet. All the articles have pretty consistent information, so it looks legit. I think I heard that they're even opening up centers for people just to come in and download themselves."

"Heard that on the news, too.” I click my tongue. “What a world we live in." The ball of pressure returns, and I motion for Tony to get me another beer. "Kind of makes me wish that we'd had that technology back when Katie... you know." At least I'd know it was really her and not some code that Celestia made up.

"Yeah, that would have been great for sure," Tyler says. "It would have been weird for Emily and you to talk to Katie through a screen with Katie being a pony to boot, but--"

"She would be alive. I'd have no problem with her being a pony if it meant that she could actually see Em grow up."

"Of course... you do kind of have to wonder how long it would be before you two, or at least Emily, wanted to be downloaded into the game with Katie. That..."

I chew that over as I nurse my beer. If everything was true and you could get downloaded into the game, it wouldn't take much for Celestia to push Em over the edge to the point where she'd think about nothing else but finding a way to get into the game. I barely avoided a disaster as it was, but I'd definitely need to keep a close eye on things.

I finally shake my head. "No, it sounds great on paper, but it'd be healthier to just move on. I know that... I haven't been doing a good job about that." I sigh and take another sip of beer. "But we'll move on. Never forget her, of course, but... move on." Tyler opens his mouth to talk, but I cut him off. "Enough about that. Let's see if I'm as good at darts sober as I am drunk.”

* * * *

It's pouring rain by the time I leave the bar. I'd managed to stop myself after the two beers, so I was okay to drive. The rain would be a bigger issue than me being a touch tipsy at any rate. I run to the car and fire up the heater to dry myself off a little bit. The clock reads eight forty-five. It'll be close, but I can probably still keep my promise about picking Em up at nine. Heck, if I'm a few minutes late, I can just blame the weather.

Sure enough, I get to the Henson residence at three past nine. Still well within a reasonable time frame. The walk up to their door isn't any more fun than the run to my car from the bar. I ring their doorbell, and Mrs. Henson opens the door almost instantly.

"Hm. You're not half an hour late."

I roll my eyes and almost flip her the bird, but that would have been counterintuitive. "Said nine. Would have been here earlier but, you know, the biblical flood outside."

"I understand. You need an umbrella?"

"That would be great, thank you."

I follow Mrs. Henson into her house where Em is standing in the front room with Ashleigh. Both of them are talking animatedly about something or another. It's nice to see her happy. More playdates would probably do her more good than even an entire day of that game. Em must have heard me come in, because she turns to me and smiles. Best thing I've seen all day.

"Hey, Em, you ready to go?"

"Uh-huh." Em grabs her backpack. "See you at school Monday, Ashleigh?"

"You bet!" The two hug, and Em walks over to me just as Mrs. Henson comes back into the room with an umbrella in hand.

"Thanks. I'll have Em give it to Ashleigh on Monday."

As I take the umbrella, Mrs. Henson's nose wrinkles. "Mr. Winters, have you been drinking again?"

The smile on Em's face evaporates, and she gives me a look of horror. I wave my hand and shake my head." No, no, nothing like that. Just a bit tired, and it's a rough drive out there. See you later."

With that, we leave. I open up the umbrella and hold it over Em as we rush over to our car. She tosses her backpack in before her, then gets in herself.

"You and Fluttershy all buckled in?" I ask, putting the folded umbrella on the seat next to me.

"Yeah."

"Good, and your backpack didn't get wet? Hate to have that permission slip ruined, yeah?" She doesn't respond, but she's probably exhausted.

We're only driving for a few minutes before Em talks again.

"Did you have any?"

Gosh, why did she have to ask that? Lying to her would be bad, but...

"Not a lot. Just some with Mr. Tyler from work."

"But you said you'd stop."

"I know that, and... it's complicated. He bought me some before I could explain the situation to him, and I didn't want to be rude, so--"

"You said you'd stop."

I slap the steering wheel with my palm a bit. "Look, Em... sometimes... sometimes people make mistakes because they're not sure what else to do, and... I'll explain to Mr. Tyler at work so that it doesn't happen again."

"But you said--"

"I know what I said!" I roar, looking back at her. "It was a mistake. Sometimes grownups make mistakes, and it doesn't make them bad people, it just--"

"DADDY!"

I look back to the road and see a pair of headlights coming at me through the heavy rain. I jerk the steering wheel right to avoid it just as we hit a big puddle of water. The car starts spinning as I lose control, and before I can readjust, the car goes off of the road.

Time seems to slow as we roll. Em screams for a moment before it cuts off. My only thoughts are her. When we stop, if we ever stop, I'm getting her out. She'll be fine.

The car stops upside down, and I just sit there for a minute, trying to get the ringing to stop. I'm sure I have bad whiplash, but that's the least important thing right now. I have to make sure that Em is okay. I gingerly unbuckle myself and lower myself onto the roof. The window is broken, which lets me slide out back into the pouring rain.

Let her be okay. Whoever or whatever is listening, let her be okay.

Between the crash and the beers, it takes me a minute to get fully situated, but I already see the headlights of cars stopping to help us. We won't need too much help, though. The doctors or whoever might want to stitch me up, but Em is definitely fine. Definitely. I collapse on the ground and crawl through the mud to her door, throwing it open as soon as my hand reaches the handle.

"Em? Emily? Are you alright?"

Even through the dark I can see that she's not moving. I can barely register the people coming up behind me as I stare at the Fluttershy doll laying limply on the roof.