Love Me Back
Blackspade Funeral Home, November 9th, 9 a.m., five years after the Conformity incident
"I'm very sorry for your loss."
Applejack took a deep breath and managed to actually look at the pony opposite her for the first time since entering the room. "Thank you, Mr...?"
The olive earth pony stallion seemed to avoid her gaze for some reason. "Shovel Blade. And you're Applejack, of course."
"You know me?" After all that had happened over the years, this shouldn't have surprised her anymore, but it still felt strange whenever somepony recognized her.
"The Element of Honesty, saviour of Equestria on several occasions?" A thin smile spread across Shovel Blade's lips. "Don't play down your deeds, please. Of course I've heard of you."
"We did what we had to do, Mr. Blade." Applejack had had this conversation far more often than she cared to count. "We weren't heroes, we just fought for what we believed in."
"If hero mean sincere pony, why may not every one of us be a Hero?" At Applejack's surprised look, the undertaker again turned his head away, almost as if ashamed. "Sorry. I just thought it appropriate."
"It was," Applejack replied without thinking, then she caught herself. "But could we talk this over another time, maybe? There's arrangements we need to make."
"Of course." Shovel Blade pulled a pen and a clipboard from beneath his desk.
***
Sugarcube Corner, three hours later
"You actually spoke to that weird pony?" Rarity stared at Applejack in disbelief. "I never could do that."
"Whatever is that supposed to mean?" Applejack asked. "He seemed a nice stallion from what little I could tell."
"Oh, he is always perfectly polite, but he just seems..." Rarity paused, struggling for the right word. "Shifty."
"Shifty? Are you serious?" Even as Applejack was saying it, she remembered the strange way Shovel Blade had avoided her gaze. "You mean because he never looks you in the eye?"
"That's part of it," Rainbow Dash interjected. "He's also never at parties..." She broke off as everypony's heads turned towards Pinkie. "Come to think of it, why isn't he?" Dash asked. "You never let up until everypony's your friend and comes to your parties. What's so special about him?"
Pinkie bit her lip. "I can't tell you."
"So you do know something." Rarity's eyes were gleaming with curiosity. "Why would you let anypony get away with not being your friend?"
"He is my friend. He just doesn't like parties." It was a sight to behold - Pinkie was speaking very slowly, as if weighing every single word.
"How in the world could you ever be friends with anypony who doesn't like parties?" Twilight asked. "They're what you do best."
"Girls, I learned a long time ago that not everypony enjoys the same things," Pinkie said. "Shovel Blade doesn't exactly have it easy, and I really can't say any more, and would you look at that, we need a fresh pot of tea!" She took off towards the kitchen, a little faster than strictly necessary.
"That was...weird, even by Pinkie's standards," Twilight finally said, breaking the stunned silence around the table. "What was that all about?"
"I don't know, and honestly, I don't care that much," Applejack replied, rising. "Well, thanks for the company, girls, but I need to get going. I have a wake to plan."
"Are you sure you don't need help with that?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Thanks, but this is something me and my brother and sister have to take care of by ourselves. It's a family thing." Applejack pressed her hat down over her eyes and left.
***
The kitchen at Sweet Apple Acres, two days later, 7 a.m.
The wake had gone off as planned. It had been a sad day, naturally, but they hadn't let it get them down too much. Granny Smith wouldn't have wanted everypony to just sit around and cry all day.
Applejack sighed as she let her gaze wander over the messy kitchen. The foals had been the most difficult part. Applejack was secretly glad that she hadn't been the one to explain to them why Gran was gone and wouldn't come back.
Don't lie to yourself, Element of Honesty, a voice seemed to say in the back of her head. You did that once before, and it nearly tore apart your family. You would gladly have explained all this to your own foals - because that would mean you had any.
She sighed deeply. Her brother had Fluttershy and the twins, and Apple Bloom and Spike were slowly getting to the point where foals - or hatchlings, whatever you'd call them - were more than just a possibility. Applejack would very likely have a third nephew or niece before the end of next year.
I never thought I'd be the one who gets left behind, she thought. The farm takes a lot of time, but is that really all there is?
A voice cut into her thoughts. "Excuse me?"
She whirled around, and her eyes met the intruder's. She had a brief impression of deep, dark red - almost black - before the other pony drew in a long sharp breath and collapsed against the doorframe.
"Oh my goodness!" Applejack jumped up and hurried to the door, only dimly realizing that the pony looked vaguely familiar. "Are you alright?"
He looked up, and she recognized the undertaker, Shovel Blade. "Yes. Sorry about that - I haven't had such a strong impression in quite a while."
Impression? "You're not making sense."
He stumbled to the table and sat down. "Could I have some water, please?"
"Of course." Applejack went over to the sink and filled up a glass. "What are you doing here anyway at this time of day?"
"I was about to go to sleep when I noticed my coat was missing. I must have left it here." He raised his head and looked at Applejack, though he avoided direct eye contact. "But that's not the issue at hoof anymore, is it?"
"What do you mean?" Suddenly Applejack shivered. Something about this stallion just was ... off.
He sighed. "I must ask you not to tell anyone about this."
"About what, exactly?" Her confusion was rising by the second.
"You've probably noticed that I avoid other ponies." He stated it matter-of-factly.
"I haven't seen you around much, and Pinkie said something about you not liking parties or somesuch," Applejack said. "Is there anything wrong?"
"'Wrong' isn't exactly the right word." Shovel Blade took a deep gulp of water. "I work mostly at night, so I'm usually asleep or at work when Pinkie throws her parties."
Applejack felt a twinge around her neck. "You're dodging my question."
"Sorry. This really isn't easy for me. Pinkie is the only pony I've ever spoken to about this." He drained the glass, then he raised his head and looked directly at her. "You are lonely. You dream of having a family, of raising your own foals, rather than just being Aunt Applejack to your brother's colts."
She felt as though somepony had tightened a noose around her throat. "How...how do you know that?"
He smiled, though she could see the sadness behind it. "I just do. It's my special talent. I look at anypony, speak to them for a few minutes maybe, and I can tell their deepest dreams and wishes."
Applejack was speechless. She had heard of unicorns with talents for abstract things - Twilight was one of them, after all. But she'd never heard of an earth pony with this kind of ability. "Then why don't you speak to ponies more? You could do a whole lot of good with a talent like that."
"You don't understand." He bowed his head. "I can't control it. I speak to anyone, and I know. I feel what they're feeling, I see their dreams, and it breaks my heart, because I've seen too many of those dreams shattered and torn. That's why I'm an undertaker. The dead don't dream."
She tried to wrap her head around that. What would it be like to live with a talent like that?
Shovel Blade stood up. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you all of this."
He was almost at the door when she finally managed to speak. "How do you do it?"
He turned in surprise. "How do I do what?"
"How do you manage to live without other ponies?" She stood up and slowly walked over to him. "Don't you feel anything yourself? Friendship?" She hesitated. "Love?"
A strange expression flickered across his face. "I loved, once. She's gone now."
"What happened?"
He smiled wistfully. "Life happened, as it does. She's with somepony else now, and I'm happy for her."
"Does she live here? In Ponyville?" Applejack couldn't have said why she was so interested in this, but the stallion fascinated her because she simply couldn't understand how anypony could live so alone.
"Of course she does. You know her quite well, I'd say. She's your sister-in-law, after all."
She took a few seconds to realize what he was saying. "You mean ... Fluttershy? She was the one you loved?"
"I never could tell her." A strange undercurrent crept into Shovel Blade's voice. "She deserved - and got - so much better than me."
Applejack recognized the emotion. She knew it all too well. Self-loathing. He really means what he says.
"I'm isolated from others." His voice was quiet, and Applejack had the impression that he was talking more to himself than to her. "It's okay. I've learned to live with it."
"It's not." At Applejack's forceful words, the stallion raised his head in surprise. "Don't try to lie to me, Blade. Or to yourself, because that's even worse. I should know."
"What do you mean?"
Applejack realized that she was opening up quite a bit more than was reasonable with this near-stranger, but she felt she owed this to him. "I tried to get my sister away from her husband. Years ago, when they were barely teens."
Shovel Blade's reaction to that was unexpected, to put it mildly. He threw his head back and laughed. "You did what? The Element of Honesty tried to break up a happy couple? Is this some kind of joke?"
"Stop that!" Applejack realized she was shouting, but she didn't care. "I didn't just try, I managed. They separated for over a month before some ponies knocked some sense into me. I almost destroyed her happiness."
"No, you didn't." Shovel Blade sounded calm, reserved. "You never could have done that."
"I ought to know what I did!" Applejack shouted.
"I didn't mean it like that," he countered, seemingly realizing his mistake. "I believe you tried, but you never would have managed that, not permanently. I've seen Spike and Apple Bloom. I know their dreams. There is only one who could separate these two, the black pony with the scythe and the hourglass, and even then, I suspect they'd find a way to stay together."
Her breath caught in her throat. "Are you serious?"
"Rule Number One: I never lie about the things I see. Oh, and by the way, I just broke one of my other rules, Number Two: I usually never tell outsiders anything about the things I see." He stepped closer. "But I saw how this is still cutting into your heart, even after all these years, so I had to do this for a mare I like."
The words took a few seconds to really sink in. "What did you say?" she finally asked, raising her head to meet his eyes. The shock on his face told her everything she needed to know - he'd let slip more than he'd intended with that last sentence. "I thought you loved Fluttershy."
"That was a long time ago, Applejack." He forced a smile. "You might as well say that Spike loved Rarity once - it's true, but it has no bearing on the present."
"Why?"
The single syllable made him frown. "Why what? Why do I like you?"
"Yes. Why me?" She stared at him, challenging him.
"Because you're honest. You don't begin to guess how many ponies in this town hide behind masks." His gaze was fixated on the doorframe. "For years, even your dreams were modest and down to earth. They never really took flight, and so they never were in danger of crashing. But then something changed. You wanted to find your special somepony, to raise a family, and when years went by and you didn't find anypony, it started to poison you, as unfulfilled dreams often do."
He stepped away from her. "Something shook you to the core and drained that poison. I never knew what it was, until now. But it won't do, Applejack, not forever." His gaze finally found hers again. "I've seen you torture yourself with this for years, and I won't stand for it any longer. Find the one for you, Element of Honesty. I'll do what I can to help you, because I don't want to see you suffer like this anymore." He took his coat from the rack beside the door and left without another word, leaving Applejack to her thoughts.
***
Blackspade Funeral Home, 10 p.m., two weeks later
Applejack took a deep breath. She still wasn't sure whether she was doing the right thing.
Oh, just go for it. What's the worst that can happen? The little voice in her head sounded uncannily like Rainbow Dash tonight.
She knocked on the door, which creaked open after a few minutes to reveal a rather surprised-looking Shovel Blade. "Applejack? What are you doing here at this uncelestial hour?"
"I've thought a lot about what we talked about the morning after the wake." She looked around. "Can I come in?"
"Of course." He stepped aside and let her walk in, leading her up a staircase. "The ground floor is for business only," he explained as they made their way up. "I'm afraid it's a bit of a mess up here. I don't get a lot of visitors." He sounded perfectly controlled, yet Applejack knew better. She had seen behind the mask, and she knew that he was alone by necessity, not by choice.
He opened a door and led them into a small living room. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, thanks, I'm good." Applejack looked around. Even for one pony, the room was small. She had grown up on a large farm, and this would barely qualify as a storage room at the Acres. It was also austere to the point of sterility - a small sofa, a low table, a glass cupboard with two or three bottles in it, and a small bookshelf did little to make the room feel lived in.
Shovel Blade seemed to notice her gaze. "I rarely use this room. I do all my work downstairs, and I usually only come in here to read a little."
"It's a pity. With a little work, this might turn out really nice." Applejack smiled. "My sister knows her way around a toolshed. Perhaps she could help you make this into a real living room."
"What would be the point?" The quiet bitterness in Shovel Blade's voice hit Applejack like a punch. "Who would ever see it? Who would appreciate it?"
"Who knows?" Applejack's voice had gone just as quiet as Shovel Blade's. "My gran always used to say that there's a special somepony out there for everypony."
His mouth curled up into a smile. "My mother used to say the same thing."
"Is she...?" Applejack couldn't bring herself to finish the question.
"Hm? Oh, no. But my parents live way out in Vanhoover. I see them once a year at best." He cast a glance in her direction. "But this isn't really about me. You wanted to talk about something."
"Yeah. I've had a lot of time to think about what you said, and I believe you were right." Applejack swallowed hard. "It's time I got me my special somepony."
"I'm glad to hear that," Shovel Blade said, still smiling. "If I may ask, do you have somepony in mind?"
Applejack got up and walked over to the window, looking out into the darkness. "I think I do. I want somepony who knows what hard work means, not some Canterlot sissy who's never done an honest day's work in their life. Somepony who isn't afraid to say what they think, even to me - especially to me." She turned around and looked at the undertaker. "And I don't care what the rest of Ponyville or Equestria thinks about them. Let everypony believe that he's a strange pony, a shifty one, because I know better."
Shovel Blade raised his head and met her gaze. "You can't mean that."
"I'm done with lying to myself." She stepped closer, until their muzzles almost touched. "I'll be completely honest with both of us, Blade. I'm not sure if I love you. This isn't what my sister feels for her dragon, I'm pretty sure of that."
"Of course it isn't." Shovel Blade was still holding her gaze. "You're not her, and I'm not Spike. But I can tell you one thing." He blinked. "I have no idea what you're feeling right now."
She frowned. "What does that mean? You said you could always tell."
"That's actually not quite true," he replied. "The impressions I get are strongest with ponies I've never met. With friends and family, I can tune them out. And right now, I don't get anything from you at all. This has only happened to me once before."
Something seemed to fall into place in her head. "With Fluttershy?"
"Exactly." He leaned closer. "I love you, Applejack. But are you really willing to share your life with a gravedigger? What will the other ponies say?"
"Let them talk all they want." She closed the distance and pressed her lips to his. A strange warmth seemed to erupt somewhere inside her chest, as if something had been waiting for this moment for all her life.
She broke the kiss and grinned. "I've never shied away from hard work."
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Oof. This was quite a bit more difficult than I expected.
Let me address one thing, pre-emptively, as it were: Yes, I'm shipping a member of the Mane Six with an OC. Considering the dearth of stallions in Ponyville, there really weren't that many possible candidates for Applejack's significant other, and using Caramel or anyone like that would basically amount to using an OC anyway. There are very few stallions in the series canon that aren't already a) taken within this universe (Fancy Pants) or b) complete idiots (Blueblood). Soarin' has a little more personality, but I wanted an earth pony for AJ, considering that her family's quota for unusual relationships has already been fulfilled by her siblings.
Also, this particular character (Shovel Blade) is an idea I've been carrying around with me for months - a loner not by choice, but by necessity. I've seen so many stories of the "someone falls for the mysterious loner" type that I thought I'd give this a little twist.
This chapter, lest I forget, is named for Turkey's entry in the 2012 ESC, "Love Me Back" by Can Bonomo. Lyrics here. (I intentionally used a clip from the contest itself, just so you could see the stage performance, including the "man-boat", the single funniest moment on stage this year.) The song finished fifth in semi 2 with 80 points, progressing to the final, where it ended up in seventh place with 112 points. As an aside, this song had the biggest discrepancy between televoting and jury results this year; it finished fourth with the televoters and 22nd with the juries. Maybe the jurors thought the man-boat was tacky or something...
1459534you will expand on this in some way down the line right?
right
Interesting...very interesting indeed. This series of stories are now in my favorites.
Says the guy who went and shipped her with an undertaker.
1461040 He's an earth pony with a "standard" earth pony kind of job (if not talent). Go ahead and try saying the same thing for Fluttershy (who is as far removed from your standard pegasus as possible without losing the wings) or Spike (who is no pony).
1461476 Considering how far you went out of your way to portray him as strange and unusual (particularly having a number of characters remark about this), calling him "standard" is like calling Big Macintosh verbose.
1461491 *sigh* Alright, perhaps I did use the wrong words. I did say, though, that I wanted an earth pony for this role. Also, he's strange, but certainly not as far out there as, say, Pinkie.
1461631Good Lord, will you ship Pinkie with someone? Now that is something i would like to see.
I like where this is going so far. Bit I was hoping to see more of Spike x AB, before she dies, after the incident, and when she finds out that she's pregnant.
1607983 Actually, that's not what the side stories are for, really. I might elaborate further on this universe somewhere down the road, but the side stories are meant to explore the nooks and crannies of what's already there, but hasn't had its day in the limelight in the main stories. "Waterline" is an exception to that because I had just seen "The Angels Take Manhattan" and needed to get all the feelings out of my system somehow, and also because I wanted to show how I see the "December" half of a Mayfly December Romance (thank you, TV Tropes!) deal with being the survivor.