Star-Kissed: Go Get Laid, Twilight Sparkle!

by bronyheat

Laws were meant to be broken

Applejack had been a hard-working farm mare for as long as she could remember. Stubborn, loyal, honest; those were her defining traits. She got up, she bucked apples, and she didn’t break the rules. Well, other than her unlicensed, underage-serving cider operation, but that was just good business...

Point was, Applejack never found herself on the wrong side of the law. So how did she come to find herself pulling a wagon that was currently fleeing from a small army of police and town guards?

“So why can’t we just let ‘em out all quick-like?!” Applejack yelled over the rushing air as she strained to keep the wagon moving faster than the angry posse behind her. Applejack huffed a bit, sounding winded. Despite this, she continued pounding her powerful hooves along the ground, keeping a pace that would have given even the best endurance runner pause.

Rainbow Dash had no issues keeping up as she easily flew alongside the wagon, dodging the occasional bystander or corner stand.

“I just checked on the dude and he’s out cold. We toss him out now they’re going to think we murdered somepony!” Rainbow Dash shouted back excitedly.

“Ok feather-brain, what’s the plan then?!” Applejack snapped back.

Rainbow Dash thought for a moment as she flapped her wings to keep pace. “Well, what do we do whenever we normally have a problem we can’t solve?”

Applejack couldn’t help but twist her head back as she ran, shooting Rainbow Dash a disapproving glare. “Nu-uh, no way, not like this!”

Rainbow Dash strained her wings for a moment, her increased velocity placing her beside Applejack so she could talk more easily. “Well why not? We were going to take him to her anyway!”

---

Meanwhile at the ‘Diamante Grezzo’

Twilight was humming to herself as she read off the incredibly delicious, and expensive sounding dishes on the menu in front of her. Fluttershy had approached her back at the castle with the most heart-attack inducing eyes she could manage and practically begged the alicorn to come to lunch with her. Twilight hadn't lasted long. Now the pegasus sat across from the purple alicorn wearing a nervous look; her wings twitched impatiently as she fidgeted in her seat.

Twilight failed to notice her friend’s discomfort, at least until she poked her head up to ask the mare a question.

“Ummm, Fluttershy? Is everything alright? You look much more nervous than you usually do.”

The yellow pegasus went wide-eyed at the question and seemed to be practically hyper-ventilating now. “M-me? Nervous? No-noooo.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at the unconvincing response.

“Well when you first invited me to Diamante Grezzo for lunch, I sort of figured taking a friend to such an expensive place like this meant you had something very important you wanted to discuss.” she paused for a moment studying the quivering mare. “Is this about Discord? He… he hasn’t hurt you has he?” anger began to crawl over Twilight’s features.

The change in Fluttershy’s demeanor was whip-lash inducing.

“Oh-no! Discord has been nothing but a gentle and sweet draconequus to me!” she was smiling warmly now. “he’s so good with the animals too! He says it's because he’s got all the parts of every animal already.”

“Or at least the parts that matter in bed!” Discord elbowed Twilight, the sudden voice and contact causing her to let out an undignified yelp while her wings shot out on reflex; knocking her glass of mineral water over.

Twilight let out an angry huff and fixed Discord with a stare as she tried her best to mop up the water. “Why are you here, Discord?”

The draconequus dabbled a napkin against his chest, soaking it blood-red. “Oh, you wound me, mon reine.” he paused, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “has our relationship grown so cold, and cruel that we may not even be seen in public together?”

Twilight rolled her eyes at his antics. “That’s not what I meant, Discord.” she paused and controlled her breathing for a moment, calming herself. “What are you doing here, at this moment, at this restaurant?”

Discord rung out his blood-red napkin into a nearby glass and lifted it to his lips, taking a small sip. After a few moments he returned his gaze to Twilight, his expression was now purely mischievous. “I’m here to observe the chaos, Twiggles.”

“Chaos? The only chaos so far is you showing up and knoc-”

Before she could finish, absolute bedlam erupted just outside the restaurant's entrance.

“Annnd, action!”