The Big Payday

by CannedRyby

An Untimely Revelation

It was early morning in Manehattan, but it was as busy as midday in the big city. The train terminal told a similar tale; ponies by the dozens shuffled about at a frantic pace regardless of their purpose or destination. The large concourse resembled an auditorium more than a transportation hotspot, with gargantuan chandeliers and a sprawling second floor above the railways, complete with vendors of all types and trades.

A single train attendant in a blue jacket stood in front of a roaring train, its great bellows pushing out even greater steam clouds. His hand dived into his pocket, revealing a rather standard brass pocketwatch. One look at the time was enough for him.

Cupping a hoof around his mouth, he shouted.

"6 o'clock train to Canterlot! All aboard! 6 o'clock train to Canterlot! All aboard!"

A horde of would-be passengers soon enveloped the worker as they pushed and shoved towards the boarding doors. It continued for a good minute, leaving a very bruised and battered train attendant in their place. He refused to open his eyes even after the crowd left, wincing in a solitary position.

"Ouch."

"Is this the train to Canterlot?" A gruff and gravelly voice interrupted his moment of solace.

He opened one eye, and then the other, to find himself facing four nondescript ponies in trilbies and trenchcoats. The sight was particularly mysterious, but he didn't question it.

"Yessir, 6 o'clock train to Canterlot? Do you have your boarding passes on you?" He tried to put his best face on; a smile and a tip of a hat.

"How long is the trip?" He didn't answer the question in question, but that was alright. Questions always made the attendant happy.

"Six or seven hours, give or take, but we take a pitstop at Neighagra Falls to give a good look for the tourists. Minimum twenty minutes, sir!"

"Tell the conductor to take a straight trip. If anyone asks, it's an order from the train agency."

The questioning look of the attendant seemed to bore past the garb of the clothed pony.

"On whose authority, sir? I normally do not care to check individual boarding passes, but I need to see yours and your friends right now." His look turned into an accusing glare.

The gravel voiced stallion couldn't help but put on a smug grin.

One of the three clothed ponies stepped forward. The train attendant noticed a white tinge underneath the trenchcoat, but it was not indicative of anything special.

At least, until the pony spoke.

"In the name of Her Majesty Princess Celestia and Her Grace Princess Luna of Equestria, I, Cloud Chaser, member of the Royal Guard, doth command this train to head to Canterlot immediately and without stoppage."

The train attendant broke into a sweat.

"Failure to comply will result in punishment and exile to the moon."

The train attendant started to break down before the white stallion in front of him.

"Oh dear Celestia, please no! I only got this job a week ago and my family and friends are counting on me and I have this girl we've been steady for weeks and...and-d-d...

He felt a hoof being shoved into his mouth.

It was the raspy voiced stallion from earlier.

"Just tell the conductor to not stop along the way. Your job nor your life is in peril, but it would be wise of you not to speak of this to anypony."

The attendant felt the urge to ask them for their tickets, but it was extinguished by the fact there was a palace guard threatening to banish him the moon.

"O-of course, right away. Would sir like to take the first-class cabin for himself and his companions?"

"Do you need to ask?"

Four nondescript ponies, with trilbies and trenchcoats, stepped onto the train.

-----------------

"Really, 'Cloud Chaser'? I never knew you were ready to impersonate a former colleague?" Ribald laughed into a cup of sweet dandelion wine, taking small sips as he reclined in the luxurious suede seat. The cabin that the attendant chose for them was a medium sized compartment, complete with four chairs and a dining table that closely resembled something from a high scale banquet hall.

"I never liked him to begin with. It would not be detrimental if he were to hear the news that somepony of his name commandeered a train and threatened a servant with banishment and exile," Sky paused to take a sip of water from a similar cup, "At least, not detrimental to us." He smiled.

Ribald found an excuse to laugh even harder as he took large gulps of the wine, finishing it with a final flourish. Satisfied, he sighed and put the cup back on the table. He looked up to notice that Smooth was hunched over a map, taking minor notes with a pen and paper. The sight was not uncommon, as Smooth always used his free-time to prepare for any job ahead, but what was there to planning when they had an entire day to work it out?

At his side, Mocha Joe was similarly hunched over a satchel of what seemed to be fireworks and other pyrotechnics. Joe took pride in his work as an amateur pyrotechnic, and he always volunteered to do the engineering aspects of any job, even if his success rate was less than perfect.

There was no practice to Ribald's art, though. The trade of diplomacy and deception came naturally to him, and he had experience with what would happen if he failed. The blotches of scarred skin on his back served as stark reminders.

Sky, however, was a wildcard. Being a palace guard, he was obviously trained in the arts of war and combat. He was a well-oiled fighting machine that had no remorse for the enemies of the crown. Ribald contemplated what would be his contribution, but he found his answer quicker than he expected.

"Red was the best fighter out of all of us. Were you two close?" Ribald could never forget the sheer skill that Red had when they had to fight it out. His hooves resembled more that of a hurricane than a set of jabs, and his agility in the air was equal to his pugilism.

The fact that Red was the first to get arrested disturbed him to no end.

Sky sobered up quickly at the mention of his brother.

"His choices in life were concerning, but he is of my flesh and blood. In youth, we enjoyed many a pleasure together-," Sky stopped when Ribald started to giggle uncontrollably. An unimpressed look from Sky did enough to quiet him down. Satisfied, he continued.

"After graduation, I pursued a career in the Royal Academy. I found my talent for investigation and that propelled me to my position in the Royal Guard. As for Red, I recall what he did or where he went, but our connections were cut off for several years. Until his arrest, of course."

"And you didn't question his judgement when he was locked up in a cell?"

Sky shrugged. "He pursued a career in criminal activities. I will not judge him, but I uphold the laws of Equestria like any fair citizen."

"Despite that, you willingly join a heist, just because your brother told you to?"

"Yes."

"And what does that make of you?"

Sky didn't respond to that. His stone cold face appeared once more, but his eyes betrayed him as their gaze retreated to the floor.

"I thought so." Ribald's face turned into an indignant scowl as he shook his head.

"You thought what, Ribald? That our friend does not keep his promises?" An equally irritated gruff voice pierced the silence. Ribald turned to see Smooth still browsing the map, but the expression was less than satisfied.

"Of course, how am I to believe that a Royal Guard wants to help us rob a bank because his estranged brother wants him to?"

Mocha Joe kept quiet throughout the conversation, completely lacking for words.

Smooth's gaze slowly rose up from the parchment.

"Believe anything you want to believe, Ribald. He is now one of us, regardless of what you want from me or him. I trust his loyalty, unlike other ponies." His dull grey eyes met that of Ribald's. "You want to know why he chose us?"

A cautious nod by Ribald confirmed his curiosity.

"The moment we pilfer the Royal Reserve, he will hand us in to the princesses."

"WHAT?" The response by Mocha Joe and Ribald was simultaneous. The looks on their faces were petrified in shock and horror, which then quickly turned to anger and unbridled rage.

"Damn it, Smooth! Why'd you think I'd agree to this? This is completely fucking insane!" Mocha Joe was first to respond, but Ribald followed up with an unsavory gesture.

"I'll kill you before they get their hooves on me. I hope you know that, Smooth."

A knock on the door of their cabin interrupted their conversation. The door slid open to reveal a young, female stewardess with a cap on her head. "Um, is there a problem?"

Everypony's gazes turned to the intruder.

The sight of two heavy clothed ponies standing up on their hind legs, ready to brawl, almost spoiled what was going to happen.

"Nothing's wrong. Go back to your station." A gruff voice from the corner of the room reached her before anything else.

"Okay."

The door shut quicker than the group expected.

"Yes, where were we?" Ribald turned around to face Smooth again. He felt the odd sensation that his hooves were tightened by something, but he couldn't put his hoof on it.

He got his answer as he saw Mocha Joe wrapped in a thick bundle of rope. He looked down to see a light brown rope-like substance similarly tied around his hooves.

"Fuck me."

A very irritated Smooth forced a hoof to his head. Sky Scraper was doing the finishing touches on the ropes, tightening them with a strong tug of his teeth.

"I hope you see the reasoning behind our situation, Ribald."

Smooth turned to Mocha Joe. His face was surprisingly placid. "I don't blame you, just your stupidity. I always valued your contributions."

Another turn of the head put him face to face with Ribald.

"Yours too, Ribald. If it pleases you, I'll admit we wouldn't have gotten out of the last heist if it were not for your wit and quick feet, but don't bring it into this. We're doing this for more than ourselves."

"When was it ever more than for ourselves? This is nothing more than your gambit, you sick fuck." Ribald spat with venom in his voice.

A very frustrated Smooth leaned forward to meet Ribald eye-to-eye.

"You really expected to grow old and die in your bed, didn't you? There is no rest for thieves like us, especially after what we've accomplished in such short time. We're a victim of our own success, and there is no road left for us but this," leaning back, he nodded for Sky to continue the train of thought.

"Ahem," Sky cleared his throat, "Under the authority of Her Majesty Princess Celestia and Her Grace Princess Luna, this assignment has been given unofficial recognition of the crown, meaning that the Royal Crown does not condemn our actions nor will they actively support our efforts. On completion of our objective, we will be granted a royal audience."

Ribald's face looked more lost than doubtful.

"I know that feeling, Ribald. Sky said the same thing to me when he found me. It makes sense when you think about it, really. A thousand years of having to deal with the convoluted bureaucracy that is Equestrian politics, and you can't help but have fun in a little while. Luna's appearance only bolstered her resolution," a lit cigarette found a way into his mouth, "We're going to bust the Royal Reserve and prove a point. A very valid point. She knows about us, what we do. She's read the newspapers, the police reports. Now she's giving us a chance to be useful for the good of Equestria, not just our personal gain." A puff of smoke lazily rose from his mouth.

Ribald still found it iffy, but he couldn't resist the urge to nod. "What a conspiratorial and romantic way to get things done, isn't it? Sounds like something that Celestia would do."

Mocha Joe found the will to resist more viable than acceptance. "You're just bullshitting us, Smooth. I know it; you've been a bullshitter since day one."

A smug grin appeared on Smooth's face as he cocked his head towards Mocha Joe. "Tell me, who was it that offered you an escape from that servantile idiocy? A bullshitter, of all the ponies in the world, gave you a chance to make a new life for yourself. If anything, I've been doing nothing but charity work for you, Mocha Joe."

Sky nodded. "I found a note in your apartment that proclaimed that you were ready to burn down the establishment that you worked for. If it was not for Smooth Operator's intervention, you would have been apprehended by police on grounds of arson and property damage."

Mocha Joe's eyes sunk in horror. "You..went into my apartment?"

Another puff of smoke coolly escaped Smooth's lips. "He's a detective by trade. Or did you mistake him for a rancher because he tied you up in the blink of an eye?"

Mocha Joe didn't respond. He had an increasingly common track record for that.

Ribald seemed strangely satisfied with the events that happened, a coy smile appearing on his face. "Oh Smoothie, you're one sly dog, let me tell you. Just tell me one thing, and I'm yours."

Smooth raised an eyebrow. "Tell you what?"

"Where did you find the space and foresight for rope?"

"It's magic. I don't have to explain."

"Right."

Sky opened his mouth to talk, but Smooth raised a hoof. "Don't. This is a moment I want to savor."

Four ponies in trilbies and trenchcoats, two in ropes, sat in the first-class cabin for the rest of the trip.

A very troubled stewardess avoided it at all costs.