After Everything

by Buttery Biscuit

After Everything

Discord and Sombra had everything they could possibly need. So as they sat in Cadence's kitchen, in wooden chairs that laid against the wall, miserable. They wondered why? Why did they feel so gray blobish? They sighed together as they stared at the ceiling. They had everything, they were good, in a place of love, helped save Equestria, helped save Twilight, were friends with the elements, joined Cadence's family, and they had Flurry. It was a lot of good, so why did they feel so bad? The clock ticked by agonizingly slow as they moped at the kitchen table. Tick…tick...tick, almost as if it mocked them.

They both felt that they really shouldn’t be moping, they knew that. They had a lot to be thankful for, and they were thankful, grateful. So why weren’t they happy? They knew that they should be, having just sent Twilight off, fully recovered. That should be leaving them fulfilled, just like their new family, but something was missing.

“I feel like I’m being ungrateful even if I’m not….ungrateful that is,” Sombra stated into the air as if the statement itself could bring him the help he needed. He thought about his situation as he stared at the shadows that danced on the kitchen ceiling, cast from the large tree outside. His days were a lot easier to live now that he had been fully accepted into the life of the crystal empire.

The crystal ponies accepted him as the royal advisor, they accepted him as a creature, they accepted his magic. These days he got no resistance. One day he was consumed with so much curiosity about their full acceptance of him that he, former en-slaver and king, gave an order. Not 'please could you get me this or that,' with some explanation as to why. No, a real order. An order Shining might give to his troops, something like 'go get x, y and z' and Shining would gave no explanation as to why he needed it; he just told them to do it, and it was done.

Why did Sombra do that? Well, he wanted to see what would happen. To see if there was anything left of the king among the ponies. To his surprise they just obeyed him. No questions, no weird looks, not even a cautious glance. He was so surprised his jaw was still dropped when they came back. Of course, he thanked them, but the experience left him utterly blown away. He was so sure they would freak out, about the whole blood thing when it was found out. Think he was a monster and throw him out for something he couldn't control. He learned much later that most of them volunteered to make sure he didn't die, and saw no issue with it. Maybe it was because he saved Flurry?

He knew they definitely liked him now, a part of their life, really and truly. He’d thought he would never see the day. Then the most unexpected thing happened, his new family, Cadence and Shining, his sort of pseudo-parents. He could not believe that happened, he enslaved those creatures a couple of years ago but now, now they were like family to him. It felt good to help them, it felt good to help, it felt good to care, it felt good to be good. Friendship felt good, love felt good, he did not feel good, not now.

“Me too,” Discord replied. His life was fantastic nowadays. His chaos magic that was once hated was now not just appreciated but loved and wanted. They even joined in, willingly. Sometimes even coming up to him and asking for some chaos in their life. Not only that, but some of them also wanted it in their life regularly, now he was doing something he had never done before, organized chaos. Things like national holidays, birthdays, and the occasional creature who liked their life spiced. To top it all off, as if that wasn’t good enough by itself, it wasn’t just the crystal ponies or Cadence either. Lulu, Tia, and even the Elements had joined in on his chaos. He felt as if he was heard more often, he found that his thoughts, along with Sombra’s, even carried some more weight. Their plan for bringing life back to the Changeling lands was now being carried out, they even helped out with the execution of the plan. It didn’t stop there whenever they had an idea no matter how crazy or unconventional, it seemed to be listened to, even considered.

Creatures understood Discord, his magic, his views. Discord thought he’d never see that day. To be free, to be understood, that was all he ever wanted. He was part of Cadence’s family, he had Flurry, he was a part of the crystal empire. His friends had even started taking an interest in what he did when he wasn’t around them. Questions about where he went, what he was actually doing, even questions about his artwork, which Discord always doged. It was nice, to know he was being thought of, that interest was being taken in him. So as he stared at Sombra who watched the shadows, he too wondered why. Why did he feel so bleg? He liked his new life, being involved made him feel good, friendship felt good, love felt good, he did not feel good.

“Maybe….we should go talk to some-creature?’ Sombra suggested. It took him a while to start depending on his friends, but he did it now. Willingly, he found he rather enjoyed their points of view. Sometimes it led him to conclusions faster than when he said nothing, bottled it up, and tried to do it himself.

“Yes but who? We don’t even know what’s wrong. How are we supposed to ask for help if we don’t know why we need help?” Discord pointed out, he didn’t want this to come off the wrong way. He liked that he could depend on his friends, but he still had a hard time telling them things. Often still relying on jokes, not as often as before, but it was a hard habit to kick. It was one he had been doing for as long as he could remember.

Sombra realized that Discord was right, if they weren’t sure what was wrong. Who were they supposed to know who to go see? “I feel so directionless,” Sombra grumbled. It was an off hoof comment, but it gave him an idea. “Hey! What about the Cutie Mark Crusaders? They point creatures in the right direction. Maybe they could help?”

“You know that isn’t a terrible idea.” Discord said as he teleported Sombra and himself to right in front of the Crusader’s treehouse. The Crusaders didn’t want to move their business outside the treehouse, they grew up there, planned their cutie marks there, it was an extremely sentimental place. So of course they asked their friends, one of them being Discord of course. Discord had quite an extreme idea, he always did. With the help of Doctor Hooves, he successfully made the inside of the Clubhouse bigger than the outside and got it to stay that way. He knocked on their door and waited.

“Hello? Discord! Sombra! What a nice surprise. What are you doing here?” Sweetie Belle asked, having been the one who opened the door. It was always nice to see them. She stepped aside and closed the door behind them as they entered the Clubhouse, which was now the size of a two story Ponyville home.

“We need your help, we need a purpose!” Discord stated confidently as he flopped down onto a nearby bean bag chair, also his suggestion, and groaned dramatically. He was certain that this is what he needed.

“Don’t you have a purpose? Sombra is the Royal Advisor and your Flurry’s nanny.” Scootaloo stated from the spot on the floor she had been laying on. That was the easiest job they had ever gotten, she thought to herself. But the faces their friends made, she regretted that thought, they clearly did need help.

Discord frowned as he lifted his head from the bean bag chair, he breathed in, his claw pointed up. “That is a very good point.” He stated as his expression became more thoughtful. They were right, they did have a purpose, a direction in life, so why did he still feel so grayish?

“Don’t worry I think we can still help ya.” Apple Bloom stated from her swivel chair which she spun around in frequently, it was her favorite chair. “Maybe ya’ need to try somethin’ new? When is the last time ya’ did somethin’ different?” She felt the need to still help them, they looked so lost. Even if they had a purpose they could still guide them into feeling like they did.

“My best friend is Discord, Discord is Discord. Different is like his thing. We are always doing crazy wacky things. Randomly.” Sombra stated as he elected to sit down in the bean bag chair directly across from Discord, he wasn’t for it at first but they grew on him. Discord was the definition of box pushing, how could they not be trying new things?

“Hmmm, maybe you should expand your hobbies, or try some new ones?” Sweetie Belle suggested. “Aren't you an artist Discord? Try a different medium.”

“Yeah and Sombra ya love apple-bucking, but we neva’ see ya’ other than Zap Apple season and Cider season. Why don’t ya’ work for us a bit?” Apple Bloom suggested she knew he enjoyed the work. They could also use the extra hooves now that she wouldn't be helping as often as she once did, her cutie mark destined her to other things.

“I haven’t really been arting it up like I used to. It would be nice to get back to that.” Discord mused, “guess I gotta start somewhere. Sounds like a plan. See you later.” Discord said as he snapped himself away to get some inspiration.

Sombra smiled, “I do really like apple-bucking.” He said as he felt slightly more hopeful than last time. Maybe exploring something he liked would clear the grayishness away.

“Alright then, I’ll bring ya back to the farm.” Apple bloom stated as she left the treehouse. Sombra followed closely behind her, not that he needed to, he knew the way.

---

Discord was off to the art supply store to get some inspiration unsure if he would get it. Discord was different, Discord was chaos, Discord had tried different mediums before but he still wanted to give the idea a shot. Maybe if he explored something he tried but decided not to pursue? It was still worth the effort. He looked over the supplies, thinking about what to try again. He spotted pencils first, no he hated the sound of pencils on paper. It was just so scratchy, he could do pens. No, he just wasn’t feeling that. He looked around some more, clay. He could use clay, but that didn’t feel right either. None of it felt right, not even paints, his favorite medium.

He grumbled to himself as he looked over more random supplies, he remembered a time where he couldn’t go anywhere near a store, ponies, or other creatures. How they used to fear him, things sure had changed. He could go wherever, whenever, and not get so much as a scream.

Of course, the glancing over art supplies made him start thinking about how many creatures asked to see his work. He always said no, the only eyes it ever befell was Sombra’s. Discord’s only fan. Why? He was scared to, his paintings were more like a diary than art. He poured his everything into them. It was rather personal for him. He didn’t even have a muse, he used to, but he stopped doing that after a while. Opting for a more abstract approach, it wasn’t that he was against them. He just didn’t find any creature that inspiring. Just like these supplies, just like everything. Even things he personally set up he just felt bleh about these days.

The truth was he had been staring at an empty canvas for a week, it stared back. He felt like it mocked him now. Just sitting there, like him. He sighed. This wasn’t helping, he just felt so gray blob, even though he wasn’t trying to. The motivation just wasn’t there. He just snapped back to Apple Acres, maybe if he tried something else. Something new? But what would that be?

---

Sombra stared at his empty patch of trees, he bucked them all, but he didn’t feel better. He did enjoy the process, but he still felt so gray blob. Now the empty trees just sort of sat there, like him. He sighed, maybe he should see what Maria was up to. He got up, taking the buckets full of apples with him, stacking them up where they were supposed to go right beside the barn. Just then Discord appeared in front of him looking forlorn. “You too?”

“Yeah.” Discord simply said, he had seen Sombra’s face. This didn’t work, he wished it did.

“I’m going to go say hi to Maria, want to come with?”

“Sure.” Discord said as he followed Sombra into the home of the Apple’s. Seeing Maria was always nice. “Hello, Maria.” Discord said as he walked into the kitchen.

Granny Smith took one look at Discord and Sombra and knew something was up. ”What's with them long faces hoofsomes?” She watched them sit at the table. She decided to gather a can from her cupboard, a soup she made for when her grandchildren were upset. She grabbed a pot and started to cook. Granny believed a good meal healed all wounds.

“Maria, we went to the Crusaders to find our purpose, but we already have one. Then they said to try expanding our hobbies, we tried that too but it didn't work. We have everything we could ever need, but I feel so...gray.” Sombra said as he looked away from his friend. He really did wish he wouldn’t feel this way.

“Ya know, I know ya used ta the elements helpin’ ya out. They are pretty dang good at it but I think I might be able ta help ya. How ‘bout a story?” Granny watched them as they both looked at her with interest. She got three bowls and laid them down in front of her friends. Slowly, she poured the soup into the bowls.

“When I was a youngen', Celestia gave mah family this land but notten else. We were so grateful for ta land, we had been searchin’ for a place for so long. Surivin’ and notten more. We had a place to be, it was plenty enough for us folk. So we settled, here. I remember ta days of travel, being so scared. When we got here, I thought once we had a home everythin’ would be mighty dandy. We built this place ourselves out of nearby trees, we're still so poor, couldn’t afford notten. That’s how I found them zap apples. Lookin’ for food for mah family. I worked hard, erry day, endless hours. Then I did it, I had everythin’ I could eva want. Food, water, a place for mah family, a colt that loved me. I couldn’t help but feel gray. Much like ta two of you.” Granny said as she put the ladle back into the soup, the bowls now filled.

“I wondered what in tarnation could be wrong wit mah head? I had what I needed. So what was I thinkin’? Was I ungrateful? It didn’t feel like it, I had mah purpose, mah cutie mark, mah love. I tried ta find a new goal, somthin’ I could work on. That just ended up bein’ a distraction, I still felt so gray. I ended up goin’ ta mah love, having an honest conversation wit ‘em. Twasn’t easy. With his help I tried a bunch of stuff, but notten worked. Then one day, I was sittin' by this cliff. I liked it there ‘cus the air would blow through my mane so. It was near this waterfall, real peaceful place. I went there as often as I could. That day I saw somthin' different. Ya want to know what I saw there?”

“What?” Discord and Sombra asked as they hung onto her words.

“A flower, in da middle of a barren wasteland. It confused me so, what in tarnation was a flower doin’ there? It really shant be there, it was a wasteland, what was the point? Growin’ in a place like that? That’s when I realized I was bein’ all silly like. See I should be like ta flower. Sometimes things don’t have a point, a grand purpose. It’s ok ta not have a goal. Ta not be running from one thing ta another. Ta do stuff that has no effect on society, or overall bein’ of eva creature. Sometimes the purpose of existin’ is to just exist. Much like that flower, it grew just because it could. No soal told it ta, it wasn’t doin' it for any reason. It just did. So just do, for the sake of it, ‘cuz it makes ya happy. Ya deserve ta after running yourselves ‘round like that. An one day you'll find yerself a new goal ta go after, but really it ain't the goal that matters. It the journey ta that goal, if ya just keep running ya miss out on all the little moments. Like I might have been mighty scared, but when we was survivin' like that we had these campfire nights, real fun. I didn't appreciate 'em because I was so scared, focused on mah goal and mah new life. Even in ta worst n' busiest of times, there's always somthin' worth remembering. I enjoy those memories now.”

“Wow Maria, I’m not sure what to say….I think you might be the wisest mare I have ever met.” Sombra said in a state of awe. “I’m so surprised you aren't an element. Like knowledge or wisdom, or something. You could be.”

“Please, adventures like that are for youngins. I am mighty happy here, livin’ my life.” Granny said with a smile “plus it is too much work for me, bingo Mondays with the gals is all I eva need.”

“You know what, you are right. I think I'll go back to the crusaders. I could use a new muse, hadn’t had one in a long time. Maybe I’ll end up painting something wild. Thank you, Maria.” Discord said as he chugged his soup and with a snap, he was off to the crusader clubhouse.

“If you don’t mind. I’d like to stick around. In addition, I'd love to help buck when I can. I know you’re short on hooves since Apple Bloom got her cutie mark. Plus I really enjoy bucking Apples.” Sombra said as he sipped his soup. He felt a lot less gray, it wasn't completely gone but the guilt definitely was.

Granny looked around, checking for her grandchildren. Making sure there were no ears about. “More like ya should be buckin’ mares.”

Sombra choked on his soup as he blushed, “MARIA! That was very scandalous of you.”

“Don’t tell no one, I got an image ta uphold. Neighborhood friendly grandma.” She scoffed at her own pun, though she was truly thinking about setting him up with a family member. She already had a list of who she was going to ask in her head. Nice young mares, good for Sombra and Discord. Or were they into colts? She wasn’t sure, she never asked. She should, these were her friends, they deserved to love and to be loved.

Comments

[Lullaby_for_a_ brony]

I really like what Gran Smitt said. It just make more sence to me. Thank you.

[Igris]

Bro, you just described my life. Discord and Sombra are too relatable in here.