Alternative

by Blue Insomniac

1.1 The End... Is Just The Beginning

"So that's one property near the edge of the Everfree forest. Will you be the only occupant?" The mare stared at me with a questioning glance as I picked up an old fashioned quill from her desk.

"Yup. Nopony but me."

"You do realize that what you want hasn't be occupied by anypony else for a very long time?" Was said by her as I signed my signature with my abysmal hoof writing.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "You know, the real estate pony said the exact same thing."

The mare nodded approvingly as she took the newly signed paperwork. "I sure hoped she did, it's not everyday when somepony wants to live by the Everfree." She stood up from behind her desk. "Never mind wanting to live there alone."

I watched her as she trotted near some weathered filing cabinets. She expertly opens and stores the signed paperwork with practiced ease. With her back turned to me she asked, "So what brought you out here Mr...?" She trailed off.

"Status, Status Quo that is."

"Mr. Status Quo." She finished her earlier sentence.

I shifted in my seat a bit before answering her question. "And what brought me out here was mostly just me looking for someplace to live. Heard through the grape vine that this place was a calm and quiet place. So I took it upon myself to check it out, and suffice to say those rumors were true."

The mare smiled at my comment to her home as she turned around while a key dangled from her mouth. She dispensed the key on to the table as she spun around once again to grab something from behind her. "Well, I'm glad somepony enjoys those qualities in a town. And believe me this place is nothing but peaceful and quiet." She huffed as she pulled out what appeared a single piece of paper.

"Here you are Mr. Status Quo, one house deed for you." I smiled as I took it from her hoof.

"Bah, none of that mister nonsense. Quo is just fine ma'am." I said as I stuffed the deed and metal key into the tattered, patchwork mess I called my saddlebags.

She laughed good naturedly as she watched. "Well then Quo, just Mayor Mare would do for me as well. The whole ma'am thing makes me feel old."

"Alright then, thank you for all the help ma- er, Mayor Mare." I turned to walk out before I remembered something important.

"Oh right, before I forget," I spun around as I looked back at the helpful mare. "When's the first payment due?"

In lieu of response she simply looked at the calendar on the right side of the room before answering. "It will be due by the eleventh, so about two weeks from now."

I let out an 'ah' as I turned around once again.

From behind me I heard her call out to me. "Oh, and before I forget. If you see a pink mare gasp from behind you pay it no mind. Her name is Pinkie Pie and she gets excited when meeting somepony new."

I glanced back. "Anything I need to worry about?" I asked jokingly.

She 'hm-ed' in response before saying, "Other than a welcome party from her. Not much I'm afraid."

Huh, "Cool." I said. "I'll look forward to it."

She smiled. "You better, she's Ponyville's number one party pony." She then went back to sit behind her desk. "Her parties are to die for."

"I'll keep it in mind. Oh, and thank you for all the help Mayor Mare." As I walked out of the office I heard a distant 'you're welcome' from behind me.

As the door closed behind me I let my half formed smile fall from my face. Almost instantly I felt all the stress and sadness that has been plaguing me ever since I got here rush back into me all at once.

Ha. Mayor Mare, what a joke. What kinda name is that anyway, and how can anyone be that happy while being a fucking mayor of all things? At least she didn't pester me about why I wanted to be near the Everfree like that stupid real estate agent did.

The sounds of my hooves filled the silence as I walk on towards my new home. The soothing rhythm of my hooves hitting the stone path relaxing the building headache in my mind, only being interrupted by me catching myself almost tripping on my own feet.

Goddammit, almost three months of being a stupid pony and I still couldn't walk reliably to save my life. Having to constantly think about how I walk just to make sure I wouldn't crash into somepon- somebody was just simply infuriating. It felt as though I was a stupid little kid again, not knowing what I was doing or if I had said something wrong. It racked me something fierce.

A tiny frown graced my features as I slowly thought back to the three months I had spent in 'Equestria'. Feelings of sorrow and shame danced around in my mind as I remembered the many incidences that plagued my early days in this godforsaken place.

The first few minutes of just simply panicking and not knowing what had just happened to me. The hours of relearning how to walk and do basic motions with my unwanted new body. The regret of ever touching that fucking portal that got me into this mess in the first place.

I let out a sigh as my mind continued to recall everything that had happened these last three months. I couldn't even remember how I managed to get into civilization. Or how I felt when I first saw the dominant species on this new world.
Nor express how small I felt when I truly realized how God fucking damned far away I was from home.

I cried myself to sleep a lot in the first month. It didn't happen much now but I prefered not to think about how much I lost due to my idiotic mistake back at the portal. It didn't help anypon- Anyone. It didn't help anyone for me to mope about what had happened.

I sighed once again as I couldn't help but remember my state of distress at that time. I was barely even able to function those first two months, hardly being able to feed myself and sleeping near dumpsters or in the odd homeless shelter or two. While at the same time working for chump change at whatever place I was able to get work in with no ID.

That was a hellish time for me. And one I'd rather forget. Nevermind the fact I kept wasting what little money I had on books about interdimensional travel. Like I would be able to get myself back home or anything. What a joke.

I was better off saving what I could and getting the hell out of dodge, or at least being financially stable enough to be able to pursue such an impossible goal. But hindsight was twenty twenty and all that nonsense, the point was I wised up near the end of the second month and started doing the smart thing.

Just had to give up all hope of going home was all. Simple as that really. No biggie.

I'm just glad my past self's illusion of being able to go back home was broken when it did. I could remember my thought process that day. 'It seemed so obvious!' I thought when my past self walked up to a magical institution in Manehattan. "Just ask the magic ponies to fix everything. Duh!"

I remember the exact moment my hopes were shattered into a million pieces never to be fixed again. I had just entered when I saw a sign about a free lecture that was being held in the general auditorium. The sign said 'Parallel words and you. The ultimate guide on how you are not alone!' with the bottom text reading 'All are welcome!' in big cheery text.

When I had entered the auditorium it was mostly full, the many seats laid out occupied by mostly unicorns with some pegasus scattered in the sea of horns.

I was the only earth pony in attendance.

The professor then walked in and gave his greetings, then the lecture started proper. I couldn't really remember what most of it was about if I was to be honest, something about multiverse theory and all that funk. It's not like I was from a different reality or anything. Plus, the internet seemed obsessed with that theory. It was very much prevalent in all matter of fiction and 'scientific' discussion in the many forums I frequented.

It was to the point that I felt safe enough to ignore it till they got to the part I was interested in.

Eventually the professor started talking about the infinite dimensions that could be in existence and the possibility of being able to travel to them. I clearly remember my alien ears flicking in interest, the way my heart and breathing quickened to the point that I was worried the others in attendance would notice something was amiss.

Then I heard the words that shattered any hope of me going home.

---

"...We know from credible sources such as the magical logs from Starswirl the Bearded that other dimensions do exist, yet at the same time. Our dimension does not with others." Murmurs broke out from all around the auditorium as the many in attendance discussed what the professor had said.

The old stallion cleared his throat and continued to speak to his audience. "I'm sure many of you are confused on what I had said, so let me rephrase that. As many of you have learned throughout this lecture there are near infinite parallel universes side by side from our own. Each created when somepony makes a choice or decision. Much like our example of one pony going to the store, while in a different universe they stayed home. When I say that those parallel universes exist, yet ours does not to them, I mean that since our original universe created them so to speak. They will be able to see every other possibility expect the one that was actually done." More murmurs pinged around the room as the occupants digested the new information.

I could remember the sinking feeling crawling around in my gut as I started to understand what the stallion was explaining. I nearly raised my hoof to ask a question, but someone else beat me to it. "Excuse me, professor. But if one universe created another, wouldn't that mean there exists a universe of which stems every other alternative universe?" A unicorn asked from two rows down from where I sat.

The professor looked at the pony that asked the question and seemed to ponder it. Eventually he gave them an answer. "Well young colt, it surely seems possible. And with what we know it is a very much distinct possibility. But while I would love to give an answer to your question it falls into a much separate theory and not part of the current discussion." He paused at the slightly disappointed face of the pony. "However there is another lecture in a few weeks time that will focus on how things came to be and how our existence may indeed be like what you described. Feel free to come by."

The professor cleared his throat once again and continued where he left off. "Before that little tangent took us a bit off course. As I said previously one parallel universe exists with each choice or decision one makes, yet those universes that are created will never know which alternative universe was the original choice."

The unpleasant feeling in my gut grew and grew until I couldn't take it anymore. Finally risking sounding out of place, I raised my hoof once again into the sky to ask a question. "Yes young colt?" Said the professor.

I licked my lips as I bit the bullet. "Uh, professor. So what you're saying is that if one were to be looking for a specific universe, it would be almost impossible to find?" I let me question float in the air before the professor spoke up once again.

"Almost impossible? Aye, you could say that."

I grew confused at his lackluster response. "What do you mean by that professor?"

He looked up at my question yet again. "Well, imagine that somepony walked through a door. In one universe, his head went through first, and in another his foot went first, and in another he never went through at all. All of these universes exist along side each other, yet none will know which was the one that created all of them. To find it one would have to know the exact details of that universe down to the exact number of atoms present at that one moment. And even then you would have to know everything in that one specific universe down to the bone, all of its history, the geography, every single major event, every single minor event, the weather patterns, the exact placement of stars, you would need perfect knowledge of every choice and decision that had ever happened in that universe you were searching for. It is theoretically possible, but not for us. As that would take more time than the entire universe has to even exist in the first place. Good question young colt, but back to what we were talking about." The professor then went back to his lecture, but by that point my mind was long gone.

It would take more time than what the universe has to exist?

You could have just said it was impossible.

---

Those words haunted me up till this point. What would have been worse I wonder, interdimensional travel being fundamentally impossible. Or it being completely possible, but finding the one dimension you want being impossible.

Heh, my home. Forever lost in a sea of fucking infinity.

Taking a deep breath, I let myself soak under the sun for a bit as the many ponies present in Ponyville walked past me. I closed my eyes as I took in the fresh air that all but surrounded me, not a hint of smoke or anything artificial. If there was one thing I could give to Equestria, it was that they haven't polluted the air as much as we did back at home.

Opening my eyes I came face to face with a bright pink mare looking genuinely surprised right in front of me. Her baby blue eyes shining in undisguised joy of seeing someone new.

This must be the Pinkie Pie that Mayor Mare had mentioned. Looking at the colors of her mane and coat, I could definitely say that she lived up to her name.

Before I could even try to say anything I heard her gasp as she jumped higher than what I thought to be possible for this species as she tried to speed away to an unknown location.

I say tried due to me stopping her in her tracks. Her legs doing a surprisingly good impression of a propeller while I held her from her back like one would do with an unruly child. "You're... Pinkie Pie? Correct?" I asked with some struggle.

Pinkie, now just realizing that she was going nowhere fast stopped running like she was in a cartoon and looked back at me with a gargantuan smile. "You know me?!" She not quite screamed at my face.

Placing her down as gently as I could I responded, "I know of you. Yes." I then wiped away what little spit got on my face before continuing. "Mayor Mare told me who you were while I was in there finalizing the purchase of my new home."

"Oh. Then why did you stop me silly, I need to get ready for your welcome party!" She not quite yelled once again.

Ah, this could be a problem. How do I say this without being a jerk? "That's the reason I stopped you from running off. I wanted to tell you that I don't want a welcome party..." I trailed off as I saw the saddest face one could possibly make grace her features.

...

"...Right now! I don't want one right now because... Because I don't have anything yet! I just want to make sure everything is in order before you do that you know?" I finished with a grimace.

The face she was making thankfully stopped being one that could cause depression in even the manliest of men before it turned into one of confusion. "But aren't you moving in? Most ponies bring something with them when they move in! Don't they?" Instead of answering I merely tapped the weathered saddle bags that held every earthly possession I owned.

"There is a reason I chose a property near the Everfree. Don't have much with me I'm afraid."

Pinkie gave a little 'oh' in surprise as she simply nodded. "So..." She trailed off a bit, "When would you like me to set everything up?"

If I was being honest? I just wanted to be left alone for a while. The last three months have been total hell for me and...

...

I took a glance at Pinkie, her face now had a more relaxed smile with perhaps a bit of sympathy mixed in. Her curly hair messy and all over the place, yet framed her face as to signify the joy she would have setting up a party for a complete stranger she just met.

Dammit.

It's just a party, nothing wrong with that. I needed a way to blow off some steam anyway.

I hope I don't regret this. "Any time next week should be fine."

The ever present smile returned to full force on her face as she yelled out a 'yay' before jumping up from her sitting position. "Great! See you next week!" She then ran off while leaving an outline of dust in her exact figure.

Shaking my head I got up and started my journey towards my new 'home' with all the moxy of a dead log. The mask of a half smile leaving my face yet again as I trotted ever closer to my destination.

Guess I should get started with all the furniture I'm gonna need now. With my limited judgement I could tell that the pink one wasn't gonna leave me alone, at least until I get a party. What a joke.

Best get to it then. Stuff needs to get done and I didn't have much time till that first payment is due.

---

Author's Note:

Have a nice day!

- Blue Insomniac

Comments

[BagelBread]

I like this, more please.

[BlueSaiyan]

This a dw self insert? I've not read yet and going in now but it would be cool if it is... your using a doctor who image after all for the picture anyway.

Edit: I feel dumb for asking that but still I like the story anyway, good story so far and can't wait to read more!

[ILikeToTank]

ponka.

[AnOnyxPolygon]

A human-turned-pony character who not only recognizes what he lost and reacts accordingly but who also didn't immediately find a way to integrate with the oh-so-glorious Pony society?

i.redd.it/4unr4bgaw0341.jpg