Evanstallion: Neon Friendship

by Short-tale

Episode 14: The Great and Powerful Trixie Show

Author's Note:

Dear Gracious Readers,

A brief explanation is in order. You see in the original Evangelion: Neon Genesis the show is split in half due to the way Japan television shows aired. Episode 14 was a recap episode that reminded you what happened before the break. It was done in a interesting interview style that made it seem a little more palpable than some other recap episodes but ultimately gave you no new information. I decided to parody it because it sounded fun to hear about some of the angel attacks from a different perspective and to pay homage to original show. So from a narrative point of view feel free to skip this one. I also wanted to take this opportunity to warn you that the tone of the piece is about to get much darker as the show does. So bring a flashlight, some popcorn and your favorite MLP plushy for safety and enjoy.

Thank you for reading,
Short Tale

CAKE headquarters was equipped with so many different luxurious things that it scarcely felt like the most formidable fortress in all of Equestria. It contained one dozen galley-sized kitchens which produced some of the finest culinary creations that gave Pinkie Pie a run for her money. It had the most up to date software and magic integration system that any computer wizard would quickly give her left eye and right hoof to just watch in action. It had state of the art medical wings that pushed the boundaries of medical science technology and magic in ways ponies could never appreciate until they needed it. It was also equipped with the largest indoor amphitheater in the known world. Commander Discord had insisted that it be filled with the latest components, lights, sounds and special effects that any thespian could ever hope for.

It was this stage a small blue unicorn walked out on. The dazzling spotlight clicked on and illuminated the giggling mare. It made her shine like the sun for what would be the briefest of times but felt like a lifetime remembrances. The young magician didn’t quite shine like the sun but sparkled like the sea in the moonlight.

Trixie lifted the large purple wizard hat from her head and bowed to the joyful crowd. There was cheering and some whistles as she did. She held her hooves out to the crowd for silence. Then bought them closely together and slowly drew a wand from her cuff in such a way that the audience would swear she grew it between her hooves in front of their eyes. She flashed it around for all to see then flicked it with a quick motion. The wand unrolled like a scroll and she began to read.

“It’s story time at the CAKE amphitheater and the great and powerful Trixie will be dazzling you with this tantalizing tale thus far.

“First Trixie arrived at the very great but not as powerful headquarters of CAKE after filling out an application. Then she was interviewed by the smart and unbelievably cute Twilight Sparkle.”

Trixie could see into the first row where her girlfriend, Twilight, sat. Her face wore a strained uncertain smile and turned a large earth pony shade of red.

“Then Trixie joined her new friends Lyra and Bon Bon at the exciting and powerful job of research assistant to Twilight. It wasn’t long before the first filly, Maud, began her first tests. Trixie was sent to the copier to make copies for Twilight’s great success. To Trixie’s horror she found that the copier was out of toner and Trixie had no idea where it was. In a panic Trixie found herself checking all known crevices of the office.

“When it seemed all hope was lost, Trixie remembered the secret stash of toner Lyra hides under her desk. Trixie rushed back to the control room. She entered and bang! Kaboom!”

Trixie released a few hidden fireworks from her cuffs. The audience excitedly stared at the trick. The magician smiled and continued her tale.

“Eva Unit-00 had gone berserk and smashed the control room. Glass flew everywhere. Trixie noticed that her beloved boss Twilight was in pain. A large piece of glass had cut Twilight and Trixie frantically grabbed as many bandages as she could. She pressed on the horrid wound squelching the flow of blood. She pressed herself against her to make sure she didn’t bleed to death.”

Trixie wilted on stage to show the dramatic spirit that pushed her narrative. Sure Trixie was the one that had been cut and it had only been her hoof. Trixie had panicked while Twilight wrapped her entire leg. The audience was captivated by the drama so much so that the truth seemed of little concern.

“It was there, in that life saving moment, Trixie found the mare of her dreams but alas she was too shy to express her feelings. She thought, hoped and prayed Twilight felt the same but could feel the doubt and fear pressing her lips closed.

“After the ‘berserker’ incident it turned out the Trixie didn’t have to print anything at. No pony even noticed that Trixie had forgotten the toner.

“It was around this time when the third filly, Fluttershy, showed up. Now Trixie watched as her beloved mare ran off to convince the new pony to save ponykind. She heard later that Commander Discord personally tried to convince the bashful Fluttershy to pilot Unit-01 but had a hard time of it. It wasn’t until Fluttershy had her own heartfelt moment with the pilot of Unit-00. Maud collapsed after the injuries she suffered from Unit-00’s outburst. Fluttershy rushed to her as Trixie had done to Twilight and they shared a gentle embrace. Then a quick smooch and Fluttershy had all the courage she needed to pilot the Eva.”

“Hey!” came a shout from an indignant rainbow-haired audience member. “That didn’t happen at all!”

“Were you there?” asked the irate and annoyed Trixie.

“Well, um, no,” admitted the cyan heckler.

“Then you don’t know what happened, do you? Now. As Trixie was saying, before she was so rudely interrupted, Fluttershy and Maud shared a passionate kiss that left even the more analytical Twilight flushed. Fluttershy waved to her new found love as she ascended the Eva possibly never to be seen again.

“Trixie, of course, sat at her terminal watching the scary approach of the horrible angel. Its fearsome visage caused Trixie’s stomach to turn horribly. Never mind the fact that Trixie had eaten the last burrito in her fridge that may or may not have been there during the last power outage. It was mostly likely the angel.

“The fantastic battle between Unit-01 and the angel raged back and forth like the epic battle in Trixie’s insides while Trixie was in the bathroom. Finally after an explosion Trixie finally felt better and the battle ended. Trixie returned to the control room to find the city on fire and Unit-01 was seriously damaged. Luckily Fluttershy was ok and returned to piloting with excitement.

“With Trixie’s victory over her stomach she even felt well enough to join the after party with Twilight and the others. It was there, filled with liquid courage, that Trixie finally felt the nerve to tell Twilight how she felt.”

She neglected to mention that Twilight and her were found drunkenly making out in the parking lot of the bar by Lyra and Bon Bon. The truth was Trixie had no idea how and why that happened but had decided to go with it at the time.

“Twilight and Trixie’s great and powerful relationship had begun although in secret. Now each glance and stolen kiss in the hallway made work fun for the two love soaked mares. And then another angel attacked. This one looked like a giant bug. Trixie remembers this one the most because Twilly... er...Twilight woke up many nights screaming about it. Trixie had to ...never mind. Anyway the horrible bug angel stomped recklessly through the city. It growled and snarled at the Eva as it emerged. It grabbed Unit-01 with a ropey leg thing and started throwing Fluttershy back and forth through the city.”

“It was then a really big bug landed on Trixie’s computer screen. Trixie screamed. Twilight screamed. Lyra and Bon Bon screamed because it was a really scary bug. While the Eva was thrown around the city. The icky bug chased us around the control room. Finally it came to rest near the door of the control room. Trixie mustered up all her courage and pushed it out of the room by slamming the door. We all relaxed until Twilight‘s melodious voice informed Trixie that Discord had been standing on the other side of the door. Discord thought that perhaps Trixie should clean the hallways for a while.

“Trixie missed most of the rest of the angel attacks but missed her beautiful and brilliant girlfriend more. She wandered the lonely hallways pushing her broom with only a grey pegasus ,that had some eye trouble, as a friend. Then after an eternity Twilight told her she could come back.”

It had only actually been days and no angel attacks had occurred then. But Trixie was starting to get tired with her tale. The lights were brighter and warmer than she thought they would be. She felt the great story she had written become long and drawn out.

“So as Trixie returned, Fluttershy had faced a bunch more angels and made friends with that rude, rainbow-haired, loud pilot.”

“Hey!” sounded an annoyed shout from said pilot.

“But Trixie was there when the giant angel called Poopiel, snort, appeared. It struck from the sky deviously using its own body and massive height as a weapon. It dropped piece after piece of itself until it came dangerously close to headquarters. The brilliant Twilight told us that she thought that it would drop itself on headquarters. Major Pinkie thought the best idea was to send the Evas to catch the angel with their bare hooves! The Evas got in position and galloped to catch it as the huge, but dumb-looking, being plummeted to the earth. The Evas reached with their mighty hooves and caught the horrid creature just before it landed and killed us all. Sadly Twilight paid the price by bravely sacrificing her home. It was then the true heroism of Trixie shown through and she offered her home to Twilight, bringing their relationship to the next level!”

She paused but no shouts of excitement became from the crowd. Trixie felt this was the true apex of the story. An awkward cough echoed from the crowd somewhere. Trixie hesitantly started again.

“So, um, the last angel to attack us used the very magic computers we rely on. Trixie herself witnessed the bitter battle between Twilight and Gabriella. Each control room pony fought hard against the intrusion of Gabriella. She fought back with her many winks and smiley faces and tried to cause the entire building to explode. In the end the dazzling Twilight and her faithful assistant, me, had to battle the worse horror yet, Spike the dragon’s messy cave. It was awful. There is no way to accurately describe the odor that came from that place. Trixie still feels the oil that coated her tongue from just the smell. But despite danger to herself, Trixie and Twilight prevailed. They brought out the malnourished dragon who fought and destroyed the angel in the computer world itself.

“Now, here we are still fighting the good fight. We will endure any angel and disgusting dragon cave. Any other horrible thing in the name of love, I mean friendship. We will prevail!”

Trixie stood up to bow when a bright blue unicorn with a grey mane appeared on stage carrying a small scroll. Trixie opened it and read through the copy. She shook her head slowly to analyze the data that the Commander wanted her to say then shrugged and decided to wing it.

“I guess a special guest is here to read some poetry?” Trixie wondered out loud. “Umm, Trixie isn’t sure why but Mr Mud Briar requested it. So here’s Maud Pie.”

Maud walked out and stared at the audience for an uncomfortably long time.

“Is she going to speak?” asked Twilight when a red dragon with bongos appeared and began to play. Maud took a big breath and began to read her poem to the trance-like best of the bongos.

“A rock, a gray stone. Gray the color of my body. My body is the rock. The stone is me. Rain, a sunny day. The emptiness of a bird or river. Am I all these things? No. I am me. Small and round. Like a rock. These ponies I know. Discord. Pinkie Pie. All these can be friends. Like my rocks. These too are empty. Each, a part of me and I, a part of them. A small green gator. My rock. A vessel of me. A grey small thing.”

Maud turned and left the stage.

“Well that was... weird,” commented Trixie. “Trixie would like to thank her great and gracious audience for hearing her compelling tale. She hopes that you will enjoy what happens next. She would also like to thank Twilight Sparkle for being so great, brilliant and cute. Good night.”

Trixie took her final bow and waved to the crowd. It had ended on a strange note but she felt it was the best performance she had ever given. She quickly threw two glass balls filled with smoke and jumped behind the curtain as they burst. Unfortunately a coiled rope caught her hoof and snagged her as she jumped. She quickly tried to untie it as the smoke cleared. She finally got it loose only to look up at the silent and uncomfortable audience. Then the current fell.

“I guess that went well,” whispered the nervous Twilight. “The ending got a little weird.”

“Oh, you have no idea what’s coming,” grinned Pinkie Pie ominously, eyeing Twilight’s popcorn tub. “You going to eat that?” She jumped into the tub inexplicably and began to joyously munch.