Interlude:
Or, what happened that night
The sun had long since set by the time Rainbow Dash had arrived at Ditzy’s house. As Celestia’s blaze had dipped below the horizon, so too had a similar fire burned out in the heart of Ditzy, to be replaced by the brooding of a full moon and a sweeping swath of stars, courtesy of Luna.
Rainbow Dash made a slow, stealthy approach towards Ditzy’s house, creeping along towards a window at the back of the house. Normally, Dash would barge into a friend’s house in the least subtle way possible, but the forbidding events of the day had turned a usually brash Dash into something a little more cautious. She couldn’t exactly call Ditzy a friend, either, and that only compounded her caution. After conferring with Imaginary Fluttershy, she had realized that whatever was wrong with Ditzy required her to act reasonably respectful of Ditzy’s previously unexpressed emotions.
She crept around until she was directly underneath the windowsill. Dash perked her ears, attentive for any sign of what could be going on inside.
Fortunately for Dash, Ditzy had had a rather abrupt emotional shift during the last conversation.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ditzy had been furious. She had let it out, or so she thought, when she let Dash have a piece of her mind about the way Dash was mishandling her job. Dash, though, had inadvertently pushed her farther. From Ditzy’s perspective at the time, things had been much clearer—and more infuriatingly insidious.
“I’m sorry, Ditzy,” Dash had sighed. “I just don’t know what went wrong.”
Almost a quarter second of disbelief reigned in Ditzy’s mind after Dash spoke. Was she mocking her? Rainbow Dash, who was so talented and gifted and fortunate enough to have friends who understood her, friends who loved her for who she was, Rainbow Dash who had fame across Equestria for her acts and loyalty, Rainbow Dash who had mercilessly tormented her, constantly laughing at her mistakes? Ditzy realized then the depths of the anger welling up inside her, demanding retribution. Rainbow Dash had mocked her for the last time. Vengeance, righteous vengeance surged into her consciousness as the sun broke over her back, rays warming her, urging her onward. She had begun to stride toward Dash, hell-bent on inspiring pain in her torturer.
All of this thought transpired in close to a second.
But Ditzy did not finish any of her dark intentions.
At first, the sight of Dash terrified had fueled her blaze of fury. Then she was reminded of that terrible day not so long ago; that day when Discord had paid her the most horrifyingly interesting of visits.
Ditzy froze for an instant, standing over Rainbow Dash, the fate of two souls resting on the top of a cloud-built mountain. It had felt like a thousand years to Ditzy, the slow, dawning realization of what she was contemplating. I can’t… not after what Discord did. I would be the same as him. I would be worse than him.
Ditzy opened the door and closed it softly. She dove off the house, trying to escape as quickly as possible. She didn’t want Dash to hear her screaming.
She didn't want Dash to hear her crying.
~~~~~~~~~
Fortunately for Ditzy, Dash did hear her crying, if only a little later than necessary to save the day.
Dash heard something muffled as she skulked outside the backyard, bottom-floor window. This was definitely something worth investigating, as this was Ditzy’s house and she was probably in it. The cold night’s air kept her awake as Luna’s moon shone down gently on the innocent and guilty alike. It was a good bit later, as Dash had taken a little time to determine that Ditzy hadn’t rampaged off somewhere else. Despite her haste, it had still taken her much longer than she would have preferred. She flew silently toward the second-story window, listening intently. It sounded like somepony was sobbing into a pillow…
Rainbow Dash’s gut twisted at the sound. Of all the emotional challenges she feared, this was the worst. It was worse than the sappiest Hearts and Hooves day romantic experience. Dash could stand that in very small doses, provided it didn’t involve her, but she just couldn’t take a crying pony. Crying was often contagious, in Dash’s experience, and she couldn’t let her guard down like that. Emotional weakness was definitely something that Dash could not express. She’s upset, obviously, but what can I do about it? I never signed up for this. Yet her guilt pulled her into action.
Steeling herself, Dash peeked over the edge of the window to see Ditzy with her head buried in a pillow. Horsefeathers. Dash cursed silently to herself as she let herself float back down to the ground, leaning against the house and feeling terrible for having played a role in the tragedy this was quickly becoming.
“How could anypony go from angry to crying so fast?” Dash wondered aloud quietly, as shame and guilt gnawed away at her conscience. This was her own fault, anyways, at least some of it. She had to do something, and fast, before it got any worse.
As if in response, she heard a filly call out: “Mommy? Are you ok?”
Celestia, no. Not her kid. Please don’t let her kid get upset too. Dash’s gut sank further as her feelings contorted into self-blaming misery, and her thoughts would not leave her be.
Dinky was home. Dinky was going to see her mom upset and then she would get upset and Rainbow Dash knew she had to do something right now, but she couldn’t move out of her own emotion-induced paralysis after seeing Ditzy crying like that so shortly after her furious display… Despite, or perhaps because of her suddenly catatonic body, Dash’s emotions continued to twist and churn inside of her.
“Mom’s just fine, Dinky. Go back downstairs.”
Ditzy sounded exhausted to Rainbow Dash, like a cloud that had been squeezed for water too many times and had dissipated into air. Her voice betrayed an emotional drain, something that would still convey sorrows to anypony listening.
Dash was lying under the windowsill of the bottom floor when she heard Dinky trot downstairs, sigh, and rest her forelegs out of that same window as she stared at the moon. A thrill of adrenaline touched Dash for a moment, and she flattened herself against the wall—if she hid just right, Dinky wouldn’t see her unless she looked straight down.
“Why is mom so sad, Luna?” Dinky said, staring helplessly at the moon.
Dash squirmed, both from the uncomfortable position she was in and the fact that she wanted desperately to barge through the window, confess that she had been terrible to Ditzy and tell her how much of a good pony she was and how Dash should never have acted so cruelly. She couldn't do that, of course; it would be terribly embarrassing afterwards and she thought she would never hear the end of such an occurrence.
“Did I do something wrong?” Dinky queried, starting to sound nervous. “I’ll do better next time! I’m sorry, mom!” Wet drops began to fall in front of Dash as Dinky began to let loose a torrent of tears. Dash felt miserable… and it only got worse when she started to cry as well. She might have been able to stave off tears of a singular pony, but a crying filly was too much sad for Rainbow Dash to handle.
I can’t take it!
She lost control.
~~~~~~~~~~
Dinky didn’t know why her mother was sad, but that didn’t change her sympathy for her as she wept at the window.
Dinky paused her emotional release momentarily when she heard a slight rustle. “Is somepony there?” she called out, and she might have heard a choked sob coming from somewhere close to her.
Suddenly, a pegasus leaped out from under her window and took to the skies, outlined by the moon as they flew away. In the darkness, Dinky couldn’t distinguish any details about the flier, but she knew—it just had to be!
It’s a servant of Princess Luna! Dinky had heard about them before, but the other fillies had scoffed at her when she mentioned them like they were an old mare’s tale or something. Dinky knew that the servants of Princess Luna kept careful eyes on downtrodden ponies and brought them luck if they were down. They were going to help her and her mom! Dinky jumped up and down with a squee on her face, looking at the receding pegasus in delight.
“Don’t forget to tell Luna she’s my favorite princess!” Dinky called out.
Foregoing her own room, Dinky slipped up the staircase and into her mother’s room, snuggling close against Ditzy’s now calm and asleep form. Her face rested in her mother’s mane and her hooves rested on Ditzy’s shoulders as she fell asleep on her mother’s back, slipping into happy dreams. Maybe mom will be happy when Princess Luna sends one of her servants to cheer her up! They had never failed, at least in the stories Dinky had heard. Everything was going to be all right—at least in Dinky’s mind.
Chapter 1.5 (Interlude) is up! Still looking for feedback (Please?) The first half or so of the above is rather reminiscent of a scene from Les Miserables (Not the scene itself, but the particular writing style of the scene.) No feedback makes me , and it also has the effect of not improving my work beyond what I am able to do myself. Therefore, you should definitely comment, even if its just to point out a spelling error. Logic!
Oh man, the perils of the 'read later' list! To think I've been putting this off since chapter one went up. Well, I'm here now, anyway.
First, I really enjoyed the characterization of Ditzy in this. She's exactly what I want out of her, I guess. That loving mother and tormented soul vibe, she's a wonder for it. Especially when the emotions are written as well as they are here! That bit when she was angry at Dash gave me chills.
Now then, constructive nitpick time? Minor typos aside, I've got a few. There are a few instances where you repeat yourself, or re-introduce something, such as Dinky's various virtues in chapter one. It gets pretty close to word for word with an earlier part, actually. I would try to avoid that as much as possible, as it can take the reader out of the 'flow' for a moment.
Second nitpick, the Hearts and Hooves reference, felt a little forced. Don't feel as strongly about that, but eh. Normally that sort of thing is done to bring fics closer to the show, I think. Something you absolutely don't need with your talent for making the individual characters feel 'right'.
Heh, hope that helps a bit/makes up for the feedback deadzone. I like your style too much to see it murdered by a silent audience. Liked and faved!
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That was very strange- I had a whole nice thank you Q&A style reply typed out, and then it posted it as a guest account, and then it disappeared. What did I say...
First of all, I probably went over Ditzy's anger a hundred times from conception to posting. I spent a lot of thought-power slicing and changing layers, because I had to make it perfect. Those emotions are relevant to the rest of the story.
I have a suspicion that the unnecessary repetition is due to the awkward way I wrote the first chapter: Mainly, at random. I would go back and add in parts, and revise sections whenever I saw mistakes or wanted to clarify something. it can be really hard to review your own work because you always know what you mean, anyways.
Third thing (second nitpick), that actually results from an old, hardwired tendency I have to try to make as many stories fit into the same universe as possible. That fell by the wayside when I started reading lots of fanfiction, but apparently it still holds sway in the deep recesses of my mind.
I was (and still am) pretty paranoid about my characters, I was afraid of them being bland or uninteresting, and its very nice to know that I haven't failed in that regard. An author (any artist, really) can always assume that people are enjoying his work, but it is completely incomparable to that feeling when someone tells you they enjoyed it. I really can't thank you enough, and may your "Read later" list extend into the infinite horizon! (Although knowing mine, it probably already does.)