Through the Magic Door

by King Westonian

Chapter 2: The Biggest Slice

In a large brick building, filled with machines and boxes, there’s a fat middle aged man sitting in a big comforter chair behind a desk. The desk is piled high with paperwork that needs to be done, and the computer has so many notifications that they’re blocking half the screen : Bob remember to send me file 685, Bob remember to send me file 755, Bob remember to send me file 983, Bob there’s a gas leak and we don’t know where it is get out of the building, Bob remember to send me file 846, Bob remember to send me file 439… And then, with what appeared to take a supreme effort, he lifted his colossal hand to the mouse, and… began clicking the close icon on all the notifications one by one until the screen was blank. He then opened the “Little Sorcerers Pizza” website, and placed an order for an extra large, mega pizza, with two of everything, three extra large soda bottles, and ten side dishes.

“BOB!” came the voice of a rather angry old woman yelling from down the hall “Where is your report on order 226-9?! It was supposed to be on my desk by 8:00 this morning!” the woman now standing across his desk, she towered over him, standing at about ten feet tall.

“Well boss Sharon, I, um, well… I already did it! I gave it to you last night.” Bob replied frantically.

“No you didn’t!” Sharon replied.

“Well, since you weren't in your office when I got there I slid it under your door.” Bob said gleaming with accomplishment.

“I was just in my office and I didn’t see anything, quit lying to me!” she replied, her anger growing more intense.

“Not your office door, your bedroom door, or at least I think it was your bedroom. You’ve got a really nice house by the way, kind of empty though almost like-”

“YOU SNUCK INTO MY HOUSE?!” Sharon screamed.

“Well you said you wanted it as soon as possible.” Complained Bob

“We have to find it!” She yelled.

“You don’t know where you’re house is?” Bob asked.

“Bob! My house is everywhere, and every moment in time, the doors are enchanted, they can go anywhere! We need to get there now, hold still!” Then Sharon teleported them into her house (which is really more like a grand castle).

Once there, she asked him

“Which door did you put it through?”

“Hmmm, I don’t remember, I’ll have to take a look around again.” Bob casually replied.

“Fine, just make it quick.” She said.

Then Bob began to wander through the halls on his comforter chair with an engine and wheels, opening door after door, each marked with a number, though they weren’t in any order. "Door one hundred twelve” was next to “door ninety four million, four hundred sixty thousand, three hundred seventy four”, and across the hall was “door negative forty five B”. Some of the doors led to completely normal rooms. Some were just empty, and some just opened into solid wall, but others led to amazing and distant lands. One led to the bottom of the ocean, but the water didn’t come through, upon seeing this Bob simply replied

` “I think your bathtub is full.”

Not in a sarcastic way, he just genuinely didn’t comprehend his unusual circumstance. In another, there was a construction site, swarmed with workers, the door opening between a couple of metal beams, and Bob asked a worker

"Excuse me, is this the bedroom?” to which the astonished worker replied

“This is gonna be the Empire State Building, where’d you come from?” the worker then stepped through the door, emerging in Sharon’s chateau, “What’s going on here?”

Sharon then replied to him “Well that’s up to you, either you just came through a magical portal to the other side of the country and 87 years into the future, or you ate some bad food for lunch and you’re hallucinating. Both are possible, but if it is the latter you had better go home and get some rest.” to which he inquired

“And if it’s the first one?”

“Then you should be thoroughly shocked, and it’s dreadfully unsafe to be working on such a sensitive and dangerous project while you’re in shock, so good day sir!” she replied shoving him back through the door, and closed it, sealing the portal.

Then she realized that Bob wasn’t there.

“Bob, where are you?!”

“I’m up here.” he said from up the stairs.

“How did you even get up the stairs?” she asked

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagic...” said Bob, then boss Sharon looks over and sees that there’s a ramp. “I found the room, I’m sure this time, but it’s still locked.”

Then Sharon pushed past him to access the door, “Move out of the way, I can open any door here.”

“How, do you have a key or something?” He asked.

“No Bob, I have something even better.... And that you’ll never have… MAGIC!” said Sharon as she reached for the handle and opened the door. When she opened it they could see space, and they were very close to a star.

“OK, let’s get the envelope!” said Bob triumphantly.

“Are you insane?! That door leads to space, do you know what would happen to you if you went out there?!”

“I’d get superpowers?!” he asked excitedly.

“No. You’d have all the air burst out of your lungs at such a force that it would cause internal bruising, your blood would broil, your skin would freeze, you’d throw up and maybe pass out from the sudden lack of gravity, and then you’d hurtle down into the blazing inferno of that star where you’d incinerate and be crushed by it’s gravity, thus turning your remains into a pile of diamond dust which would then broil into a vapor.” to which Bob just stared blankly. “And your chair would break.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” He lamented.

Then Sharon took out her phone and dialed in a number

“Who ya gonna call?” asked Bob

“An old friend.” answered Sharon. “Barbra? Yes, it’s Sharon. Umm, well, about that, I need your help. I’m in my mansion. Yes, I’m near a door. It’s closed. It’s number eight thousand four hundred seventy six. Oh, she hung up.” Then the space door opened and a tall young woman with brown hair wearing an expensive dress came through

“What was it you needed again Shar?” asked the woman.

“I needed to know where this door has opened to lately, and if an envelope has gone through it.” Sharon replied.

“Who are you?” asked Bob

“You got that, right John?” asked the woman, completely ignoring Bob. Then Sharon said to Bob

“Bob, this is Barbra, she’s even more powerful than me, so try not to annoy her.”

“Annoy her, since when am I ever annoying?” asked Bob. Then Bob looked into the door and saw the inside of a small room, in it was an intercom, a staircase leading up, a door leading out, and a man sitting at a computer with half a pizza. Bob started to slowly move his chair, trying to sneak in and steal the pizza, until a moment later the man said

“Don’t even think about it Bob.” in a calm voice without looking at him, not allowing his focus to falter.

“Who are you?” asked Bob.

“I’m an all powerful, pandimensional, most-knowing, time traveling, cosmic being, but you can call me John.” said the man. Then Bob began to approach the door again

“Bob, stay on your side of the door, this isn’t a playground.”

“A playground?! I’m a grown man, I don’t go to playgrounds, and I don’t have to listen to you!” he said as he got even closer to the door.

“If you come another inch closer Bob, I will tear the motor out of your chair.” John said. However, Bob came even closer, entering the room. At that moment John moved so fast that he became a blur, and tore the motor out of Bob’s chair, then shoved it back an inch, thus putting him back on his own side.

“Here you go Sharie.” said John, as he handed her a piece of paper with some strange coordinates on it.

“Thanks John.” said Sharon, “But could you repair Bob’s chair before you go?”

“I already did.” he answered, gesturing at the chair that seems to have fixed itself. “And here’s that pizza you wanted Bob, it’s from another dimension, much better than any pizza around here. But give it a few minutes to cool down.”

“Alright then Shar, we’ll see you later. Bye!” said Barbara as she and John went back through the door and closed it behind them.

“Alright Bob, let’s go.” said Sharon

“Go where?” asked Bob.

“I don’t know.” said Sharon. “Door. Open at the following coordinates in relation to my current point: four thousand five hundred seventy nine realms up, eighty two point seven kilometers east, ninety four point thirty one kilometers south, time current and frozen, open at nearest safe point.” Then she reached for the door, and when it opened she found herself in a stone hallway. “Come on Bob, let’s go…” she said as she entered the door...