• Published 1st Mar 2020
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Raremageddon - Knight of the Raven



Rarity uses the Mirror Pool. She really should have known better.

  • ...
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Chapter 03

Author's Note:

Please use spoiler tags and keep the comments appropriate to the rating.

Twilight walked out of her home alongside Spike only to witness several Raritys rushing about.

As always, she trusted her mind, sharpened to the razor edge of reasoning as it was, to find the perfect solution. And as always, it proved that this trust was well-deserved.

She whirled about and trotted back into Golden Oak. "Nope nope nope nope nope"

"Am... am I dreaming?"

She yanked Spike back inside with her magic and slammed the door shut.


Fluttershy smiled as she turned around and started the long trek back to her cottage. Angel didn't really need to eat, today.


Pinkie bounced through the streets. Mr. Cake had just lamented he couldn't sleep in for the seventh time before she left Sugarcube Corner. Lamented! Who did that? You were supposed to turn frowns upside down, not smiles upside frown!

Then again, Mr. Cake had always been a little funny. And not the funny kind of funny either! No, the saddy-pants kind of funny that made ponies worry, sometimes so much it hurt their belly.

Wow. Rhymy!

But she loved Mr. Cake anyway. Even if he had not-the-funny-kind-of-funny quirks, like lamenting and wanting to sleep in.

Sleeping in! Who even did that? Well, Dashie probably, but it wasn't really sleeping in. Just many many many naps, with the first one starting in the morning, before she was even up.

But sleeping in wasted so much time! So much time that could be spent on better things like making ponies smile and baking tastebud-parties and waving at her friends! Hi Rarity!

Hi again Rarity!

...hi again again Rarity!

...

Sleeping in sounded good right now.


"Howdy, Miss Cheerilee! What can I get for ya? I'm gonna guess not apples since Bloom brings you one every morning, haha!"

"Well... Did you find anything... strange about today?"

"Nope."

"Not even there being more Raritys than there should be?"

"LALALALALALALALA"


Oh, this town was simply magnificent! Yes, there were other towns even more magnificent in the country, at least as far as the edges of her memory were concerned, but that didn't mean this town wasn't. Whatever its name was.

And of course, a great part of why it was so wonderful was the ponies living in it. They all greeted her as she cantered by as though they'd known her their whole life! Which made some kind of sense, she guessed.

Rarity the Ravishing rounded a corner and stopped dead in her tracks.

A sizable building sat a few dozen yards away from her. Similar to the houses around it in some ways, but severely different in others.

Door, shutters and window glass; all pink. She was surprised the framework wasn't the same color, to be honest. That same door was flanked on each side by pillars mimicking a candy cane. And the references to food didn't stop there...

The roof was a monument to gingerbread, in all its brown and iced glory; and also served as a plinth to a statue devoted to another baked good: a tower shaped and painted to look like a cupcake. Complete with three candles on top. For some reason.

Somepony had a little misunderstanding when they were told to build a house in the gingerbread style, it seemed.

The design could work as an actual pastry, if only because it was thankfully doomed to vanish in a pony's stomach. Standing tall in the middle of a junction between several streets, like a flag planted in ironic defiance of all things tasteful, though...

Yes, this town was most wondrous, but that didn't mean there was no room for improvement.

She trotted daintily to the eyesore, because a lady didn't rush.

The mare outside noticed her just as she passed the—overwhelmingly pink, again—mailbox. An adorable mare with her own charm, although the way she'd styled her mane and tail reminded her a little too much of ice cream.

The owner, no doubt. Perhaps there had been no misunderstanding, after all.

She waved. "Ah, Miss Rarity, It's so rare to see you here on your own."

She paused. Then chuckled sheepishly in her hoof.

"Oh, silly me." She cleared her throat. "It's so unusual to see you here on your own."

Rarity the Ravishing just kept smiling. Her own charm, indeed.

"You're more interested in the Boulevard of Frozen Creams, usually—" She frowned and sighed. "Generally."

Oh yes, this mare was adorable, through and through.

That name was familiar, though. Something about... ice cream? But maybe it was the mane in front of her talking.

Hm... knocking that name around in her head only made it more familiar, but also gave her the feeling that something was off about it, that it could be so much more appropriate with just a couple changes... at least as far as the original Rarity was concerned.

But that wasn't really important, was it? No! What mattered right now was the mare in front of her. And her atrocious tastes in design.

The owner's frown vanished and her smile came back tenfold. "Not that I'm chasing off customers! Do you care for a treat?"

Rarity the Ravishing grinned. "I didn't come for that, but thank you! I don't doubt for a moment that every treat inside your shop is wonderful." She tilted her head as she looked her up and down. "Although murder on the figure, apparently."

The mare gaped.

She didn't know why. Being a little portly didn't make her any less a wondrous addition to this beautiful world, after all.

A voice came from behind her before she could go on. "Is everything alright?"

Another mare walked up to them. Rarity the Ravishing didn't know from where, but she felt there were good odds she'd stepped out of an old photograph.

Light sepia coat, two mops in place of her mane and tail—mind you, they looked like very well cared-for mops—a neat and tidy collar that couldn't tell a bath puff from a necktie and a pair of gaudy glasses that managed the dubious feat of making her look even older.

Hm. She looked familiar. Who was she?

There was something out of place with these mops, as well... the colors were too clean, too sharp.

Ah, yes! She was the mayor, wasn't she? The silly goose who somehow got it in her pretty little head that dying her hair gray was a good idea. Something about looking wiser and more experienced?

Oh, the delusions ponies came up with! Makeup could tell the prettiest lies, but even it had limits.

The mayor mare glanced between the two of them. With an air of worry to her of all things. Strange.

"Is everything alright, Cup Cake?"

Oh, so that was her name? So fitting, for a sweetie like her.

"Certainly!" Rarity the Ravishing waved up at the eyesore. "I was just about to offer this delightful lady to fix her shop. It's one of the tackiest buildings I've ever seen!"

Cup Cake gasped. Tears started to well up behind her eyes. Oh, there was that something off from earlier, too!

The mayor looked up and stroked her chin. "It is incredibly tacky."

Cup Cake ran off crying.

It was understandable; ponies willing to make the world shine brighter were so few and far between, unfortunately. And what she promised wasn't a mere act of kindness but an outright dream come true, no doubt about that! No wonder that she couldn't contain her tears of joy.

Rarity the Ravishing grinned at the mayor mare and clapped her forehooves together. "Indeed it is! The only thing tackier around here is the town hall!"

"I know, right?"


"Oh, yes, yes! This color is perfect!"

"You really think so?"

Roseluck spun around, admiring her new dress. And there was much to admire indeed!

Rarity the Radiant nodded. "I do! White suits you beautifully."

She squinted her eyes and tilted her head.

"Yes... now that I'm looking at the results, white was the right choice, even though pale gold would have truly matched your palette." She tapped her chin. "But that'd have been too much gold, most likely."

There was such a thing as too much gold, no matter what the Princess said. Oh, not with her words surely, but they were called fashion statements for a reason.

Roseluck twirled some more. Even though she was only looking at herself, there was undeniable grace in her movements. A dance, almost. How fitting that several birds had flown from the park's trees to rest their cute little talons on nearby bushes and sing for them.

These birds looked familiar, too. Or they sounded so, at least. They reminded her of a mare... either an earth pony or a unicorn. But not a pegasus. Her memory was clear; there was nothing remotely pegasus-like about her.

"I really like it..." Roseluck brushed a few strands of her mane back behind her ear and that lovely flower of hers. "But it's not... too simple?"

She nodded again. "Why, yes it is. But simple doesn't mean bad!"

Lily leaned towards Daisy. "Is this the real Rarity?"

Rarity the Radiant whirled around to face them. Her grin was equally radiant, naturally. "The next best thing!"

"That's... not exactly reassuring."

She turned back to Roseluck. "That something simple works so wonderfully with you doesn't say anything bad about you." Her smile grew—a difficult feat, but that only proved her point. "If anything, it's you making something so simple work so well! And that's quite telling, don't you agree?"

It was hard to notice, but Roseluck blushed. And she twirled aga—ah, no, she swooned. Complete with a crescendo from the birds, the little darlings.

Hopefully there wouldn't be grass stains, but her dress had made her the happiest mare in the world; and that was what mattered here. Her duty so delightfully and expertly done, Rarity the Radiant turned back to Lily.

"Hm... the luscious green of your eyes or the gorgeous reds of your mane, I wonder."

Daisy leaned towards Lily. "Is she hitting on us?"

Lily shrugged.

A few thoughts and three rolls appeared next to her; one green and two shades of red. Oh, the burgundy one was exquisite... velvet? Yes, velvet. She could feel its warmth and softness flow through her magic all the way to her horn.

The mirror still refused to budge from Rarity's home, though. A shame.

She looked at Lily again. She felt her grin spread until her cheeks hurt.

She was done much earlier than expected—and she knew her muse already tended to make time fly faster than pegasi when she danced to her siren song. It was almost as though she'd done something similar not long ago... and why this reference to pegasi, anyway? It came out of nowhere and yet felt incredibly apropos.

For that matter, where did this gold sash that hugged Lily's barrel so snugly come from either?

Oh. She'd summoned a fourth roll? But this shade belonged more on Roseluck... who'd gotten back to her hooves, apparently. At some point. She hadn't been paying attention. But it was nice to know she was alright all the same.

She watched as it was Lily, this time, who spun to admire herself. The mare's eyes shone with absolute delight and wonder. Roseluck and Daisy looked on, clearly impressed and appreciative. And the birds' chorus was downright divine at the moment.

No... maybe this subdued gold belonged on Roseluck in general, but right now, it belonged on Lily and her dress as well. The beauty of the world was generous like that; simply no room for possessiveness.

Rarity the Radiant clapped her hooves, both out of happiness and to give the lucky mare the applause she deserved—she could multi-task, after all.

"Oh, Lily, you look absolutely breathtaking!"

Lily froze. Roseluck and Daisy snapped their heads towards her. The birds kept singing.

"Rarity... That's Roseluck. I'm Lily."

Surely the ambient euphoria was playing tricks on her ears. She raised an eyebrow. "What was that, Roseluck?"

Oh, stars. That frown just didn't belong on her face, white dress or not. And even less on Lily's with her gorgeous pegasus-style dress... wait, was it actually pegasus-style? Hm. Thankfully, she hadn't cut holes in it.

And that third frown had no place here either. "Oh, Daisy. Smile! Your dress will only be poorer if you don't."

Roseluck and Lily gaped. Daisy stared. The birds kept singing.

"How come you can tell her apart!?"

Oh, their two voices were splendid, together in perfect unison like that. The three of them should sing for the town from time to time. They could call themselves 'the Three Graces,' perhaps? True, they lacked the wings of these mythical figures, but the ponies of today had so thankfully outgrown such reductive mindsets.

Hm. What was it about today that made her think about pegasi at every turn?

But that musing could wait. She was asked a question and it was only polite to answer.

She smiled. "Oh, I never could mistake such a horrible color scheme for another."

The birds stopped singing.

"What."

"Now, now, wrinkles won't do you any favor, so please stop scowling!"

Hm. Was that smoke or steam coming out of her ears? Either way, it didn't compliment her colors. Truly unsalvageable, that poor dear. Thank the stars that she made up for that in several other ways.

Rarity the Radiant then noticed that the other two remained silent, and instead looked at Daisy... very, very thoughtfully.

"IF YOU AGREE WITH THIS EGG-WHITE PRISS I SWEAR TO CELESTIA—"


The foals gasped in awe and amazement. Was that how this one unicorn mare felt when all eyes laid on her? Oh, what was her name... Sleight of Hoof? Up Sleeve?

Hm, no... this couldn't possibly be the same feeling. After all, the foals gazed upon their own creations. A few hints here, a few tricks there, one or two ounces of explanations and secrets, then all things encouragement and reassurance and here they were, discovering the countless talents and marvels hiding deep within themselves.

She watched them and their works. Pottery, banners, drawings, paintings, scenery for some school play or another... even some notepads with their imagination unleashed into tales of heroism and dreams come true. Each and every one made with their own hooves, horn or wings.

Yes... Rarity the Bedazzling was simply bedazzled by the wonder in front of her, there was no other word for it.

It was a shame that the budding composers among them couldn't put their works to the phonograph, really. But she couldn't translate their sheets into records. Perhaps another unicorn had the appropriate magic—maybe that entertainer, or that librarian mare she couldn't quite distinguish from her because they were so similar—but she didn't.

Perhaps there were foals with a passion for playing music rather than writing it in their midst as well, but unfortunately there hadn't been a single instrument available in the entire schoolhouse.

Just a little note with 'never again!' taped onto a violin case—empty save for a ludicrous amount of tree sap with several bugs trapped in it—at most. A shame.

A double shame, even. That phonograph had helped the foals, she didn't doubt that for a second, but that hadn't prevented the musics and songs etched on these records from conjuring horrible images of brutalized manes, misshapen socks, glowing circlets and an unholy mix between window blinds and sunglasses the whole time they played.

Truly, the only thing more criminal than their teacher's tastes was that she'd left her collection within reach of her students. Yes, they should have been outside eating lunch or playing when they started, rather than inside rummaging through the cupboards, but that was no excuse.

A double shame, she stood by that. She certainly would have loved to be able to listen to the foals' compositions instead.

But they proved useful, ultimately. The foals had soon found themselves humming to their tunes. Some had outright sung—one more passion discovered among many today—even if they had trouble with some of the words.

She couldn't fault them for that. She didn't understand half the words, although she wasn't sure it was because the singers made them up or butchered them. And the original Rarity was given a dictionary every single birthday by... somepony, so her vocabulary was quite extensive, thank you very much.

Unlike some songwriters, it seemed. Tsk.

But all of this was irrelevant. What mattered here and how was all these foals and the beauty they'd shared with the world.

Admittedly, the one with the cheap plastic tiara on her head had been more interested in telling others what to do than in doing anything herself... until she saw how much the others enjoyed themselves. The inspirer became inspired, who said that irony was always bad?

Alright, so she was tremendously bad at inspiring others... but she had other talents, surely? No, not 'surely;' she did have her cutie mark, so there was something she added to the world which nopony else could in her wonderful, unique way.

Yes... authentic, irrevocable artistry in its purest form was brewing here. She could have felt a bit miffed that none of these children had gotten their cutie mark during this little impromptu get-together, perhaps, but she thankfully knew better. The world would be a much poorer place if ponies had only one string to their bow.

Hm... this musing over cutie marks reminded her that she'd been feeling like something or somepony was missing since they all began.

At the same time, she'd noticed—distinctly noticed, as though an instinctive part of her had suddenly become much more perceptive and suspicious—a lack of muffled explosions, horrified screams or distant crashes, and for some reason that had put her mind at ease.

She shrugged. The music was probably outstaying what little welcome she'd given it.

The foals finally stopped gazing at their marvels.

No, no, 'finally' implied that it was a good thing. Their creations were worth admiring forever and more. All the same, they were now looking up at her.

Pouting up at her.

"Can you come back one day?"

"More days?"

"Can you replace Miss Cheerilee a few times?"

"Many times?"

She smiled.

"Now, now, Miss Cheerilee is the best teacher you could possibly ask for! Even if she could be just a little bit more attentive to children bullying others right in front of her. Several times a day."

Rarity the Bedazzling paused. Most of the foals blinked, then glared at the last two of them. The two fillies gulped and huddled together. The phonograph started playing a new piece of music, one that inexplicably reminded her of sharks.

"Why did I feel the need to say that?"


The Boulevard of Frozen Creams. The finest ice cream parlor in town.

Alright, so it was the only ice cream parlor in town. Details.

And there was something off about that name too, now that she stopped and thought about it.

But again, details.

The worker perked up when she walked in. "Ah, Rarity, good to see you!"

She blinked.

"Er, is that a new friend or did Sweetie Belle mess up magic practice really bad this time?"

Rarity the Marvelous tilted her head. "Who's Sweetie Belle?"

She was reasonably certain that was a filly's name. And she wasn't standing next to a filly.

A centaur, rather. A shriveled little thing she'd stumbled upon while admiring an arch—or a bridge, she still wasn't sure—between two buildings.

He'd slinked out of the shadows and loomed over her; or at least, tried to, given she was actually the taller one between them. He'd wheezed and coughed instants later, then mumbled curses at the Everfree Forest and promised that even its magic wouldn't stand a chance once he'd regained more of his strength.

She simply couldn't have left him to his own devices. He was obviously in great pain. Before she went and led him to the local hospice though, there was time for some ice cream to cheer him up.

There always was time for ice cream. She was no doctor, but she knew it helped heal all wounds! Or clogged them long enough for an actual doctor to get involved, at least.

True, throwing his dirty, frayed cloak to the winds and crafting him a sparkling new tuxedo instead was probably an unnecessary delay. But cyan worked so well on him! It showed the world how much brighter he could make it just by being himself.

Yes, yes, all that sequin might count as cheating a little bit. Details.

Hm. The worker was still staring. She hoped she wasn't suffering from a bout of senility. That was something she couldn't possibly help her with, unfortunately.

Finally, the old mare sighed. "Ah, young love..."

The poor thing.

Next to her, the centaur groaned and buried his face in his hands.

Well, she could ease his pain, at least.

They took their places in front of the counter. A glass cup that almost overflowed with scoops drowned in syrup was already waiting for her by then. Rarity was a regular, apparently. That made sense.

A soft scoff on her right. He rolled his eyes and twirled his wrist. Perhaps she could find a way to leave the bracers—genuine silver, would you believe that?—over the cloth next time. They did look very good on him.

"I'll take whatever she's having."

He leaned in and squinted at her sundae.

"...Whatever it is."

Everypony in the room gasped. A particularly burly pegasus in the back even fainted, sounding like a goat of all things as he did so. The worker's eyes welled up and she promptly served him his order.

"Please do try not to drop anything on your tuxedo." She smiled. "But that shouldn't prove a problem, should it? It's no horn, but your hand is certainly better than a hoof or a wing."

The earth ponies and pegasi in the room shot her a black look while the unicorns snickered, for some strange reason.

She frowned, for her part. "That's a hand, right? Or is it a claw? A talon, perhaps?"

He stopped his spoon one inch from his treat and tapped his jaw instead. Musing shone in his glowing eyes; regal gold, no less!

"Hm... well, I've always found them handy, rather than 'clawy' or 'talony...' I supposed that makes them hands."

Rarity the Marvelous couldn't help but giggle at that. He raised an eyebrow and maybe, just maybe, one corner of his lips twitched up. The worker sighed dreamily. Poor mare.

He rolled his eyes again, then he shoved the spoon in his mouth.

Silence.

Then his eyes lit up, putting the mightiest of the Princess' solar flames to shame. Alright, so there were no documented solar flares. Her point stood.

"Is... is this what happiness tastes like?"

She grinned and nodded.

He wolfed down his sundae. Then he pouted at hers, and so she slid it towards him. The worker sighed again. She'd have to ask somepony at the hospice if they had anything to help with senility when they'd get there.

"This... this is amazing! This must be what—"

His spoon dropped on the counter with a jarring clink. The glass cup cracked between his fingers. His face twisted into a scowl, then into an outright snarl.

"—my dear brother Scorpan felt."

She frowned and leaned in. "Are you alright?"

He started laughing. It rose to an unhealthy pitch as it filled the room. The poor dear... his lungs were only one of the many things wrong with him, weren't they?

Everypony but the worker fled the parlor. Hmph. The selfish and uncaring lot.

He wheezed. Coughed a little and cleared his throat. "Yes, yes. I am alright. More than alright."

He stood up and rolled his shoulders. Hm. He could use some more muscles. Along with some more height, perhaps; but that couldn't be helped with, unfortunately.

The smile on his face could use some less evil foreboding doom, on the other hoof. It might as well have been a sneer.

"If I had any doubt about my brother's choices before, you have blown them away."

With that, he gave another laugh. More of a soft chuckle this time, sounding quite determined and pleased with himself.

He strode out of the building. The last thing she saw of him was the sequin of his exquisite tuxedo reflecting the sunlight in the distance.

The worker leaned over the counter and gently laid a hoof on her shoulder. "Oh, dearie... I'm so sorry."

She pushed an extra-large pot of ice cream up to her with the other hoof.

"Here. This one's on the house."

Rarity the Marvelous raised an eyebrow and turned back to her. "What is there to be sorry for? I don't know why he and his brother fell out, but he's decided to make peace with him!"

A squee didn't befit a lady, true, but some events simply called for all the stops.

The worker smiled as well; though sadly, oddly enough. She patted her shoulder.

"That used to it, uh?"


Rarity the Breathtaking pranced about inside Ponyville Hospital. But quietly, making sure her steps were as silent as possible and humming only loud enough for herself to hear, because she wasn't a selfish boor.

On the contrary! She existed to make the world a better place, not the other way round!

This hospital was the same. The specifics were different, true, but ultimately the staff here strived to make each patient's life a little bit more pleasant, or less unpleasant as the case may be.

This place deserved to be beautified! To say nothing of showing the ponies within how beautiful the world could be—with them in it, naturally.

She reached the end of the hall, and that meant her lovely banners stretched from one corner of the ceiling to another. They didn't obstruct the doors in any way, of course; again, she cared, and she wasn't an idiot either.

She rounded back into the lobby. The receptionist shook and hid behind her desk. Poor dear, she must have caught something from staying there so long without so much as a breathing mask.

Oh, that was a splendid idea! A breathing mask to go with her new sweater! But no shade of white or grey like on the bore she'd replaced; such cold colors had no place on a mare of pink and peach.

Rarity the Breathtaking grinned at her as she walked by her desk. The mare paled, shook harder and hid lower. The poor thing. She'd need to tell the ponies in charge to take better care of their employees.

She scanned the lobby and its decorated glory. Most importantly, its color-coordinated glory. The ponies in charge would get a most thorough ear-bashing, oh yes they would.

Still, it could have been worse. She sighed, but that didn't mean her smile was gone; she was making it all better, after all.

"I'm so glad this hospital wasn't all white as I'd expected."

"What's wrong with white?" asked a vaguely familiar voice.

She whirled around to something much more familiar: a mare with a gorgeous white coat and dazzling blue eyes.

But without a horn, and a pink mane pulled into a bun behind a nursing cap.

"Well?" the nurse asked.

Rarity the Breathtaking heard a loud clatter. She was absolutely certain that it'd been her grin tumbling to the floor.

She stared at this unsettling reflection. The nurse kept glaring. She kept staring. The nurse glared harder.

"Uncanny," she finally muttered.

The mare raised an eyebrow. "White." She made a big show of looking her up and down. "Is uncanny."

"Uuuuuuhhh—"

"Get out."