The Canterlot Adventures of a Prench Stallion

by Gatekeeper1073

Un problème

Author's Note:

I spend much longer than is absolutely necessary trying to put accents into text. It's a very interesting experience.

Also, Yellowbeard. SOLID. GOLD. Go watch it if you haven't.

Let me know what you think!

Sincerely,
Gatekeeper

Autumn Blaze was having a...

"No! No I don't wanna go!"
"I can't find my backpack!"

... difficult morning. To say the least. Miss Bounty had left early, Dandy had disappeared and, well...

"Hey, that's MY doll YOU GIVE THAT BACK!"

...The kids were being troublesome. She only had 15 minutes to get them on their way or they'd have to gallop. Why couldn't the school carriage come down here to pick them up, instead of having to drag a gaggle of foals through a mall to the designated pickup point? She would pay bits for the answer.

"Youse lookin' a little stressed there." A voice came from below.

"You think?" Blaze deadpanned.

"Yeah," chirped the voice, completely missing the sarcasm.

Blaze looked down and saw him. The dark-coated colt whose name she still didn't know, despite literally signing the paperwork to have him here.

Who... happened to be perfectly ready to go to school. And clean. And not bawling his eyes out. The gears started turning in her head.

"You... don't happen to be free right now, Bud?"

"Buds' not my name, toots."

"And toots isn't mine, but since you won't tell me yours I'm just going with what Dandy said."

"...Dat's faiah, I guess. Whatcha need?"

"Do you know anyone who can help me? Miss Bounty left, and I can't find Dandy and both Sparkler and Jam are throwing fits. I need help."

Bud squinted, a piece of his red mane falling into his face while mulling it over.

Blaze huffed while trying to hide a smile. She wouldn't say it, but she was rather fond of the little hustler. "Fine, I'll save you an extra dessert tonight if you manage to find someone. Deal?"

He nodded. "Deal. Easiest ting I've evah done. Be back in 5."

"I'll keep you to it!" She called, chuckling when the colt left her sight.

"Jokes on him." She thought. "Tonight we're having Jello."

---

A knock came on Mirage's door, as he was writing in a book. He closed it, making sure to mark the page and put away the quill he was using.

"Coming!" He said, trotting to the door. He opened it and stared into the hallway before he heard a cough.

He looked down and smiled. "Ah, mon jeune partenaire de dîner! It iz good to see you again. What brings you here?"

Bud snorted, "Nothin' much Pops-" he looked up nervously at Mirage, who nodded slightly "- just wonderin' if youse was busy with somethin'. I got tah ask ya somethin'."

Mirage quirked an eyebrow. "I can spare some time. What do you need?"

"Weeel..." Bud reared a little to click his two forehooves together before coming back down. "...So it's not actually me who needs th' favah, see? I mean, I'm asking but... ah..."

Bud slowly slipped into silence until Mirage moved his hoof in a 'go-on' motion. "Ah, so can you um... help out? Today? Like, right now?"

Mirage thought about it for a minute, before a chuckle escaped him. "Alors, c'est comme ça que le jeu commence? Très bien! Very well, tell Madame Bounty I will be ready in a minute."

Bud quirked his head, his large ears flapping slightly from the sudden movement. "Mz. Bounty didn't say nothin' to me. Autumn Blaze asked me, to ask you, tah help her. Dig? And uh, can we get a move on? I got extrah dessert ridin' on yah being deh in a minute. Nothin' personal."

That caught Mirage by surprise, but with a shrug he moved over to the simple peg holding his hat. "Very well," he said, picking up his hat. "Let us go, I would hate to be ze cause of lost dessert."

---

Autumn Blaze was just about ready to kill "No." burn "Deep breaths, Autumn. In... out." yell mildly
"Better, much better." when there came a knock on the dormitory doors.

Ignoring the screaming she'd been trying to calm for the past almost 5 minutes, she opened it and looked down really hoping that Bud who was standing there would not have the news she thought he did.

"Hey." Bud said, giving a small wave when he noticed her not-quite-calm expression. "So, ah, I got good news and I got bad news. Whi-"

"Bad news please," Autumn interrupted, "Nothing you could say can make this worse."

Bud gulped. "Alright; well bad news is, it's been more than five minutes. So I guess our deal's off. Good news is, I found somepony ta help."

Clouds parted, and Autumn could pretend that there was light ahead of the still-need-to-leave-in-5-minutes tunnel. Her ears pricked up. "Oh! So you found Dandy?"

The colt shook his head. "Nope."

A little confused, Autumn tried again. "So Ms. Bounty came back?"

Bud gave another shake. "Ix-nay on Mz. Ounty-Bay."

Autumn gave a sigh. "Look, you know what? I don't care. I have to get Sparkler and Jam to find the other backpack in 8 minutes or we will be late. And late means no dessert at all. So whoever it is, whatever it is, keep an eye on them while they keep an eye on the others until I get done with this and then we'll talk. Thanks for looking. Now go."

With a nod Bud left. Autumn took in a deep breath before turning to take care of the screaming fillies.

The now very quiet fillies.

With the kind of alarm born of desperation and experience she bellowed "YOU BOTH BETTER NOT BE DRAWING ON THE WALLS WHEN I GET IN THERE!"

---

Bud left the room and shut the door, before a wallop of sound hit both him and Mirage.

Shaking his head to clear the sound Mirage asked, "So, what did Madame Blaze say?"

Bud smiled "So she said for me, to tell you, to watch you while you watch th' others. Dig?"

"Oui, je comprends" Mirage affirmed with a nod. "let us go! Vers l'avant!"

---

Autumn Blaze walked out of the dormitory with two docile fillies and time to spare, if Celestia was on her side. And if Buds' new 'help' didn't get run off by the rambunctious bunch of hooligans the others could be.

As she descended the stairs, greeting her was a sight for sore eyes. 11 fillies and colts lined up, holding a stern look as a older stallion marched in front of them with a colored paper hat and matching colored medals taped to his chest.

"Now zen, Soldiers of ze Bounty Battalion! I don't want to see any smiles, not a one! If I do, all will be lost! Ze Commander Blaze will never be able to look you square in ze eye again!"

He started down the line, looking both imperious and quite silly with his exaggerated gait, till he settled on a small tan pegasus filly about half-way through the line. "You zere! What iz your name, soldate?"

The filly puffed up with excitement, "Anny, your most Deadliness!"

"And why are you here?" Questioned Mirage

"To do whatever the Battalion does, your most Absurdness!"

"And what is it that we do?" He continued

"Whatever happens to be done at the time, your Silliness!"

"Correct!" Crowed Mirage, "Now, look me in ze eye!"

Anny did, with earnestness.

"Oh ho! but now here iz ze real question," Mirage said before crossing his eyes, "Which one are you looking at!"

The filly giggled, trying to say "That's not fair!" between her fits, as the rest of the line dwindled into similar laughs, including Mirage and a (definitely only chuckling) Bud.

Autumn looked on in surprise and not a little bit of awe, before letting out a quiet giggle.

Bud's ears flicked at the noise and he turned his head. Catching a glimpse of Autumn he let out an exaggerated gasp. "Wes got incomin', Majah!"

"Major!, ce n'est pas difficile!" Mirage said, turning to face Bud and the staircase. He gasped and spun around, addressing the foals.

"Attention! Tenez-vous prêt!" He called, "Le commandant iz here!"

All at once the line rearranged itself, Mirage included, scattering and rearranging themselves into the regular positions each foal had claimed. When all of them had settled in, Mirage spoke.

"Commandant, nous sommes prêts!" He said, adjusting his (somewhat) wilting paper hat to look more presentable. He kept his face neutral with only a small wink and a slight grin to key her into the silliness.

Autumn was taken aback, but after a bit of shock she schooled her face and hid her grin. She wasn't about to ruin the fun.

"Very good, Major." She said cooly, her walk crisp and stately as she eyed the line. The foals shifted in nervousness and excitement, ready to go for the day.

When she reached the other end she did an about-face, and nodded.

She... hadn't been expecting this, but she wasn't about to look a gift cow in the mouth so to speak. Celestia already knew that she'd have a difficult time already herding the foals through the mall by herself... unless...

"Major Mirage, a word if you please." She said as she beckoned with a hoof and walked a short distance away.

Mirage gave a snappy salute and followed. He stood straight and stock still, his paper had wobbling just a teensy bit as it threatened to come undone.

Autumn relaxed and smiled. "Thank you," she said, "You really didn't have to but I do appreciate you helping out with the foals. I know you've done a lot and I feel bad to ask you this, but would you mind coming with us to the drop-off? Having somepony else would help move things along smoothly!"

Mirage smiled as well, and waved a hoof. "It iz no trouble at all. les poulains were a joy to 'ave around. I would be happy to come with."

Autumn nodded. "Thanks, you're a life saver," her face crunched in curiosity she asked "By the way, how did you manage the foals? Usually they're a nightmare to wrangle down here."

Mirage gave a small smile. "Madame when you are as old as I am, you learn a few things. I just helped them make waiting into a game and voilà! It does not always work but, well, nothing ever does."

Autumn smiled and nodded before she slipped back on her 'commander' face. She turned and let Mirage head to the other end of the line before addressing them all.

"Attention troops! We're about to head out!" She called in her most authoritative voice, "Check your gear and grab your battle buddy before we ship out. Do you understand?"

A cacophony of "'Sir yes Sir's!' and Ma'am yes Ma'am's!'" filled the main hall with plenty of giggles and it took all Autumn had not to crack a smile.

If the foals wanted to play, then she felt obliged to let them if it helped out. After all, it's not everyday you're a Commander.