Misadventures of a Human turned Draconequus

by Zhe Pydoh

Chapter 3: Settling In and Exploring my Personal Pocket Dimension

I forced my paw into the very fabric of reality and pinched it, the rift opened up like a zipper. I jumped into the rift as it closed behind me. I entered my pocket dimension and all I could see was this:

"Hello darkness, my old friend!" I say jokingly. "I've come to talk with you again."

I cupped my paws around my muzzle and shouted, "ECHO!"

"HOW'S IT GOING?" the echo answered back.

"I'M GOOD! HOW BOUT YOU? (*ECHO*)"

"I'M FINE!" the echo shouts back.

"I GOTTA GO!" I shouted back.

"OKAY! I'LL SEE YOU LATER!"

The Echo That Answers Back also inhabits my home dimension.

Surrounding the gigantic chunk of land was an endless galaxy of stars and nebulas, a picture perfect representation of what goes on in my mind. A mere mortal would lose their marbles trying to make sense of my pocket dimension. My mind was an endless void of pure imagination, an accurate depiction of my twisted sense of humor. There was also a two story house with a pool in its backyard. This house looks like my old one back on Earth. There were also multiple biomes where all sorts of weird creatures resided. Book bats, flying pigs, anything else outrageous and surreal I could imagine resided here. Probably something I'd think of in my dreams.

"Wow." I said, swimming towards the house. "It's... spectacular."

I finally landed on the chunk of land In front of my new home. Opening up another rift, I magicked my entire room into the two-story house. I also started magicking some furniture to decorate the lower story's interior. I snapped my fingers and repainted exterior of the house in my fur's colors: Black and white. What? Black's a cool color, don't judge me. "These colors are boring as heck. Time for a face lift."

Side note: I actually have many ways of entering my pocket dimension, one of them is snapping my fingers and I enter my dimension that way, literally opening a rift, and summoning the pocket dimension.

After I had finished decorating, a pie had slammed into me.

I turned and saw Discord himself. He did not look happy. I better see what he wants. I snapped my fingers and my fur was cleansed of the pie. You have any idea how hard I try to keep myself groomed? Million bit fur here!

"Can I help you?"

"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A CHAOS BATTLE BECAUSE I'M BORED OUT OF MY EVER LOVING MIND AND I HAVE NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO!" Hm. Probably wants to test my magic and see if I'm a threat. Might as well indulge him.

I shrug my shoulders. "Okay. And you don't need to yell. I can hear you just fine."

I cracked my paws. "Hi-o silver."

I snap my fingers and a bunch of flying books appear and swarm Discord.

"This is going to hurt."

"WAAAAAAAAAAGH! Horseapples! I bet this hurts so much." Discord yells, trying in vain to shield himself from the onslaught of paper cuts.

I snapped my fingers and a bunch of Daleks appeared, attempting to blast Discord.

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" Laser bolts flew left and right.

Discord banished the Daleks into nothingness.

I snapped my fingers and a Kenworth lands on him. He counters with throwing more pies and other pastries at me, most of which I devoured.

"Time for me to MOP the floor with you!" I say, snapping my fingers and turning Discord into a mop and literally mopping my floor with him before I snapped my fingers and we left the house.

Discord changes back, spluttering and coughing up dust. "Ergh. Are vehicles, Daleks, and transfiguration the best you can do?" I snapped my fingers, and a paintball Gatling gun out of nowhere. Discord blanched, and the only thing going through his mind was: I should've stayed in bed today.

I picked it up, and I pelted Discord with it. He screamed like a little girl, pissing himself with fear, and by the time the Gatling gun ran out, he was covered with paint. Discord looked like one of those shirts that have a psychedelic paint style on them. It was GLORIOUS. A little fun fact about paintballs: these things hurt like hell. I speak from personal experience. Not too fun of a fact I think.

Now for the big whopper. I snapped my fingers again and I turn into a gigantic mechanical version of my Draconequus form and say in a robotic voice, "ThIs Is ThE BeSt I CaN Do."

"Weeeell. Horseapples. I had to ask." was the last sentence Discord spoke before being unceremoniously evicted from my pocket dimension. I snapped my fingers and I show up next to Discord, who was positively indubitably frazzled and bruised all over.

"Had enough yet? Or are ya thirsty for more?" I ask. "You don't look so good. That black eye does not look good for your complexion. You should get that checked out by a doctor."

He made a time-out gesture. "I-I give. W-when I visit you next, we should see how powerful you are. Ow. I may need some ice. Oh, and a glass of water."

Discord plopped down on the ground before Twilight and the others found us. Discord was lying down on his back on the grass near the School of Friendship.

He got up and shook my paw before we both broke out into uncontrollable fits of raucous laughter.

"WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING?! DISCORD!?!?!" Twilight screeches.

"Keep your pants on, Sparklebutt. We fought in my home dimension. We didn't damage anything on the physical plane. At least, I don't think we did." Twilight scowls at me. That was one of my favorite pet names for Twilight, mostly because she hates it but it's accurate, and because I find it amusing to aggravate her. With Discord and I laughing, Twilight started turning a rather horrific shade of puce that clashed terribly with her fur coat.

"You told me to test him Twilight and that's exactly what I did."

"I NEVER SAID THAT! DISCORD! I SAID TO BEFRIEND HIM, NOT ATTACK HIM!!!!" she screeches again, causing me to cover my ears. Wow, that is quite the set of lungs she's got there.

"Oh come now Twiggles, puce really isn't your color." I say off handedly, "Try that lavender you're wearing."

We then broke down into fits of uncontrollable laughter, which only intensified after Twilight threw up her hooves in exasperation and left to go prepare for the new school year. Discord laughed so hard that he passed out. I snapped my fingers and he ended up in his pocket dimension. I snapped my fingers, and I returned to my home dimension.
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I looked around to see my house untouched. Good, if he had destroyed my house, I'd have turned Discord inside-out. Although, if I did that, Celestia would not have been happy with me.

I snapped my fingers and the mountain where I blasted Discord fixed itself. The smoking crater from my fight with Discord also filled up with land as well.

Discord popped in to my pocket dimension to help repair some of it too.

"OH, before we forget... let's see how powerful you really are." Discord said as he summoned a meter and held it close to me only for it to spike rapidly and explode.

"Weeeell. That answers that question. Oh, this is so strange."

"What does?" I asked.

"Well, according to the meter, you might be more powerful than me, considering you literally mopped the floor with me, and more than on par with Luna and Celestia."

“That sounds pretty powerful.”

"Indeed." Discord nodded in agreement.

"Oh hey, quick question... actually three, one: How is it that I'm able to use my Chaos magic for good? Two: can draconequui invade each other's personal dimensions? Third: how is it that I'm so powerful magically, even as a draconequus?"

"I think the reason you're able to use your chaos magic is based on your intent." At my confused look, Discord rolled his eyes and continued. "When I invaded your dimension, you thought up some defenses against me, which I'm still healing from by the way, which in any other scenario, would have deterred others, and you persisted in your defense. Furthermore, I believe you can only use your chaos magic for good. Ergo, you can only do good-natured pranks and what not. I'd explain it further, but I'm too lazy to do it, so you'll have to look at other fanfictions for an explanation, although there isn't a right or wrong answer or even a consistent answer. Then again, us draconequui aren't exactly known for being consistent, or making sense for that matter. As for using your powers for fun or just for good, again is intent based. In order to use your chaos magic, you have to mean it to use it. That's how I learned how to use chaos magic when I was your age. You will eventually get a grip on your chaos magic, but don't force it to work for you. It's random and unpredictable and might not always do what you want it to. In answer to your second question, yes draconequui such as myself can invade another draconequus' pocket dimension, but it's not really recommended or necessary. Don't ask why ("Wasn't planning on it."), it's a privacy thing. In answer to your last question, you humans practically radiate chaos first and foremost, which is the case for you, and this power of yours is amplified tenfold because of this. Honestly, it's almost scary. As long as you don't go crazy or anything, you should be fine. OH don't give me that look, you humans are chaotic by nature whether you like it or not."

I nodded sagely. "Well... that's just lazy writing." I could hear a nervous typing author sweating bullets, trying desperately to make up for the lazy writing I called him out on. "I see, now if you don't mind."

"Yes, yes of course. I'll be seeing you much, much later." Discord said before popping out.

"Well. I'll be seeing you." I say, waving to Discord.

"Welp, that happened. Aaaaaaaaaand, you're talking to yourself again, Entropy. Now, what was I doing? Oh yeah." I snapped my fingers and a white draconequus skull appeared on the garage door, completing the redecoration of the house. I took a brief lunch break to replenish my energy. Because I used so much of my chaos magic, it's left me ravenously hungry, thus the spent energy, hence me eating so much.

I snapped my fingers again and made the garage bigger on the inside, but small on the outside without compromising the structure of the house. Another snap of my fingers and the junk inside the garage vanished, making more room. As I did this, I got a headache, clutching my head in my paws as my mind became more organized. I realized I could think a lot clearer.

"And of course, no draconequus is complete without a sweet ride." I snapped my fingers and I summoned a broken down bus. "I think I might have started a trend with this."

The bus's yellow and black paint had long since faded away. The bus had a flat nose and not a whole lot of things going for it. It was extremely boring, but I was gonna give it quite the facelift.

"Don't you worry! Dr. Entropy will make you all better!" I say as a doctor's uniform appeared and promptly vanished as an engineer's outfit took its place.

I used my magic to push the bus into the garage and got to work.

I removed the punctured fuel tank and replaced it with a new one and refueled the bus. I put new suspension on the axles and attached off-road tires. I repainted the bus the same colors as my fur.

Finally, I entered the bus and got to work on the interior. The interior was crap. The floor was rusty, several windows were busted, the upholstery was so tattered it would have made Rarity puke her guts out, and the roof looked like it was about to collapse at any second.

I snapped my fingers and magically expanded the interior to make it big on the inside but small on the inside. I snapped my fingers and two large speakers appeared in my garage. I added a few couches, a dance floor. I also added a gaming area with a large TV screen, complete with the Xbox 360, Xbox One, the Wii, and a container for all of those games. I also added some gaming props for games such as Guitar Hero. I even added a bar for refreshments and sodas.

I hear a distinct *BAMF* and I turned around to see Discord.

"Ooooh. What have we here? A new trend for Draconequui, perhaps?"

"My own personal party bus, but yeah. Sure, let's go with that. Whatever helps you sleep in bed at night." I respond.

"Can I see the inside?" he asks.

"Sure. I'll take you inside in a few minutes. I just need to install these deployable speakers and hook them up to the sound system." at Discord's blank look, I continued. "When I activate them, they deploy and loudly blare out a song of my choosing solely for the purpose of scaring the pants off of ponies."

"Ohohoho! You and I will get along swimmingly!" Discord says jovially.

"What I don't understand is why you painted the bus after yourself?" Discord asks me.

"I painted it in my colors to reflect my personality. And black's a cool color, don't judge me." I say, finally attaching the speakers to the roof and the sides of the bus. To do this, I applied the bigger on the inside, small on the outside trick to the roof and the sides of the bus.

"Now, as promised, I shall show you the inside of the party bus!" Discord and I promptly partied like there was no tomorrow. I whooped his ass in Guitar Hero and we gorged ourselves on soda. Who knew Discord liked Dr. Pepper? I passed out in the lounge area of the party bus and fell asleep. I think tomorrow I'll annoy the Canterlot nobility.

Author's Note:

I apologize for the long wait. I decided to take some writing advice and make my chapters as long as I can make them. From here on out, I will endeavor to make future chapters longer. No more short chapters!

And... I'm going to make fun of my own writing while doing it. So sue me.

Comments

[Zhe Pydoh]

9945905
New chapter is up.

[fallenlegend27]

This is glorious

[Zhe Pydoh]

9949777
SCP?

[DuskShadowx]

9970358
Also that song love it so much do u have a pic of our mc?

[Zhe Pydoh]

9970678
Nope. Sorry. I'll have to make it sometime.

[WhalenJP]

Discord changes back, spluttering and coughing up dust. "Ergh. Are vehicles, Daleks, and transfiguration the best you can do?" I snapped my fingers, and a paintball Gatling gun out of nowhere. Discord blanched, and the only thing going through his mind was: I should've stayed in bed today.

This had me grinning.

[Zhe Pydoh]

10160418
I’m glad you enjoyed it!