Together Alone: I live to love you

by Shadowlight Wanderer

March of the outcast

Chapter 2

Rarity blinked in surprise

“Pardon? I don’t think I fully understand”

Spike shifted in his seat

“Well, I know it is kind of weird to say and hear but...maybe I should start from the beginning. Remember the time when we all helped Scootaloo stay in Ponyville ?”

Rarity nodded

“But of course, I was terribly sorry for her and I wanted to do everything to help poor filly. That and the fact that Sweetie Belle was constantly wetting my materials with her tears...but I think you can get the picture”

“Yes, I do and I felt the same way. I helped organize the party and everything...but in the end...”

Rarity’s eyes widened at the sight of across the small table. Spike clenched his fists and small trail of smoke flew up from his nostril. The lightning illuminated the room, pronouncing the draconic, vertical slits in his emerald eyes.

“...In the end, I just was selfish and pitiful. I know that I shouldn’t wallow in pity over things that can’t be changed but I couldn’t...”

“Spike” Rarity said a little more sternly” It is rude to keep a lady waiting. And that includes suspense”

Spike blushed and cleared his throat

“Right, I’m sorry...that party...it just reminded me how much of a mess I am when it comes to my purpose. Watching all of those ponies and creatures thanking the CMC and exchanging stories of how they got their cutie marks...it made me go back to the memories I didn’t want to visit anymore.”

Rarity was listen intensely, with a bated breath

Spike slowly pointed out on her flank, where three diamonds contrasted with a pure white coat of the unicorn

“Ponies have a monopole for cutie marks” the dragon said, not trying to hide the bitterness in his voice “you are sometimes irritated that it takes long to discover that mark but in the end, it happens !!! Of all the races, you actually are certain of what are you doing here, more or less. I will never have that reassurance. I don’t mind searching on my own for my destiny but I just can’t be sure in the same way as you are. Dragons...dragons are far more complicated creatures that ponies give them a credit for. Heck, remember when I told you about Garble becoming a beat poet ? From what I heard, uncertainty and the lack if acceptance made him into a jerk that he is today. Dragons have to learn everything the hard way that is just the way it is. I hoped that being raised around ponies will give me a chance to be more like them but there were some differences that I couldn’t walk around easily...

FLASHBACK

“S-Spike, I know you wanted to play, but please understand that you are scarring the others” the kindergartner gazed at the group of colts and fillies gathered behind her.

Spike looked at her with the tears with his eyes

“Look, it is not my fault.” He pointed at his claws that slowly retracted into his fingers “I am sorry. They just get out when I feel atagi...agati...”

He searched for the word that Twilight found in their parents books.

“Agitated” he finally concluded” it was not on purpose, I swear I didn’t want to hurt anypony”

“Spike, why don’t you go pack up your things...you already done all your homework today, right ?....I think you can have the rest of the day off ?” the mare said, with the most fake smile Spike has ever seen.

That made him angry and he shouted

“So you just going to send me away again ? I didn’t do anything wrong ! You don’t have to apologize for using magic or flying or eating the grass. Why should I be the only one to blame ?”

But when he looked up, the school patio was already devoid from ponies. He was so caught up in his t he didn’t even notice them leave.

He sighed and marched to the classroom to grab his belongings.

It was his 3rd attempt in attending the pony school. Twilight's parents believed that he would make some new friends outside their home. But as it turned out, not everyone was as open minded as the Sparkle family. Especially not here. Not in Canterlot.

...

Spike was now marching home through the streets of the capital. He knew that at this hour, he couldn’t avoid the confrontations with the other citizens. And he was not mistaken

The crowd got bigger and soon Spike felt the all too familiar feeling of being observed. He didn’t have to check it by looking himself. He didn’t want to meet those eyes. They were cold, unwanting and unloving. They screamed “why are you still here ?”

But those gazes weren’t the worst. After that came voices and whispers, not caring that he could hear them.

“What is it still doing here ?”

“The sooner he leaves the better”

“What was Nightlight thinking, bringing this monster to his home?”

“I hear that he is awfully close with their daughter. This...this is disgusting violation...”

“ This freak is a danger to all of us...”

Spike was marching home calmly. He heard this to many times to be visibly moved

A disgrace

A monster

An abomination

A freak

He encountered all of them in the past. Besides his family, ponies feared him and still didn’t feel comfortable in his presence.

‘It is not like I asked to be born like this. But I still want all of us to be friends. Why can’t you just accept me as I am ? I swear I wouldn’t hurt anypony . I wouldn’t ...’ the dragon thought bitterly.

Suddenly he felt his chin lifted up by a familiar purple hoof and found himself staring into deep purple eyes of his adopted sister.

“Hi Spike. How was your day ?”

Spike smiled, seeing Twilight was always managing to make him feel better

“Hey Twi, I could’ve been better but it is okay now, when you are here”

Twilight smiled awkwardly and Spike chuckled internally. She was really bad dealing with both social interactions and feelings.

“Okay, let’s go home” he placed a hoof on her back when somepony started to laugh.

Spike flinched. This laugh was so venomous that it wouldn’t surprise him if it melted everything around like an acid

“Yes dragon, go back to your safe place. It won’t help you in any way”

Spike’s eyes widened

What-

“You may think that you belong in this place” the voice from the crowd continued, undisturbed as if the masses of ponies silenced themselves on purpose for this moment “But you cannot hide your nature forever. Eventually, you will grow, start to hoard and behave like a dragon should have. And do you think you will be able to do this here ? You will forever be an outcast. Feared, misunderstood, even abused. Someone in between. I am telling you this to stop your delusions. You can’t be shielded by your family forever. Someday even they will start to fear you. You don’t belong here. You won’t find your destiny. You won’t find somepony who is like you. You won’t be able to find true love !”

Spike had tears in his eyes. He slowly looked at his sister and gasped. The usually stoic and composed Twilight positioned herself in front of him in a protective manner, her horn sparkling and sizzling with energy. Spike knew that with the powerful magic the unicorn possessed, things could get out of hand. It usually took much time for Twilight to loose her cool( in the things other than tests, studies and Princess Celestia) but when she did, she could be unstoppable.

The fact that Twilight was standing up for him warmed his heart. At least he had her by his side.

But still, the crowd started muttering and Spike even noticed ponies picking up some tomatoes and other projectiles. Twilight prepared to cast the shield spell but then...

“THAT’S ENOUGH !!!!!” echoed a powerful voice. The crowd immediately made way for none other than Princess Celestia. The white alicorn walked to a side of Twilight and Spike.

Princess of the Sun, usually so prim and proper, was now stiff and her eyes were narrowed in fury

“I GO TO VISIT MY PROTEGEÉ AND GIVE HER AN EXTRA ASSIGNMENT. AND WHAT DO I FIND??!!!!!!”she eyed the crowd carefully. The ponies were still shaken by the power of her Royal Canterlot Voice „AN INJUSTICE AND DISCRIMINATION !!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ELITE OF THIS NATION, GIVING THE BEST EXAMPLE, AS YOU ARE REPRESENTING THE CAPITAL OF EQUESTRIA AND MYSELF!!!!! INSTEAD, YOU ARE TARGETING AN INNOCENT CREATURE, THAT IS MY LOYAL SUBJECT AND AN ASSISTANT TO MY FAITHFUL STUDENT !!!! AND THAT I WON’T TOLERATE!!!! THIS DRAGON WAS HATCHED BY PONY MAGIC AND THEREFORE IS A CITIZEN OF EQUESTRIA. HE HAS THE SAME RIGHTS AS ANY OF YOU !!!! I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANYPONY BOTHER HIM IN SUCH A DISPICABLE MANNER. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR ???!!!”

Celestia put her hoof down metaphorically and literally. Spike couldn’t help but sweat and not only from princess’ speech. The autumn sun got bigger and brighter. The grass around Celestia became black and smoking.

The coast cleared off in record speed. Once no pony was in sight, Celestia started to cough and wheeze, totally ruining the intimidating atmosphere

Twilight was already by her side

“Are you okay, your highness ?”

Celestia smiled coyly

“I am alright Twilight. I am just not used to using my Royal Canterlot Voice for so long”

She turned to Spike with concerned face

“Spike” she slowly spoke “is everything okay ? You can talk about how you feel if you want.”

Spike returned the smile and wipped the tears from his face

“ No Princess, everything is fine now. Thank you so much for what you did”

*****************

“Ever since that day, no one was acting it that way towards me.” Spike took another sip of tea “ But that one guy, that I never even met...I couldn’t forget what he said to me. In all of the times I messed up, like when I grew into a beast and kidnapped you or when I abused Twilight’s princess authority...it always brought back those words. What I if I am really just a delayed disaster ? I really am not a pony or dragon. I am just not sure if I would ever...”

Spike was suddenly engulfed in blue aura and pushed forward.

Then...

SMACK !

Spike blinked, dumb folded, touching his slightly aching head

“Why-“

“DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT !”

Spike looked at the mare in front of him, his jaw dropping. Rarity was shaking and streams of tears marked her pristine white coat by the black mascara trails.

It all happened faster than Spike could notice but in the next seconds Rarity was hugging him tightly. She was as moved as he was and he could feel a little shivers shaking her body

“Don’t you dare say that you are a disaster ! Even if you are the dragon, you are still one of the sweetest, most brave and caring souls in Ponyville. Don’t ever think otherwise ! This town, no, entire Equestria wouldn’t be the same without you . You have a lot of ponies and creature that value you for who you are. Twilight needs you, girls need you...”her voice broke and grew quiet” I need you too...”

The next few minutes was quiet. They were both hugging each other and Spike slowly relaxed, drowning into the sound of rain and Rarity’s sweetly smelling fur. The unicorn also calmed down and even sighed with pleasure. It was apparent that she was enjoying Spike’s natural heat.

A flash of fear coursed through Spike’s mind. They were awfully close to each other. When they first meet up after Rairty’s letter, they both agreed to keep some distance before deciding what will become of their relationship.

But they both needed it. So they laid in silence.

After what seemed like hours, Rarity spoke

“Spikey...thank you so much for sharing this with me. I had no idea about your past experiences. I can’t say that I know how you felt but I will make sure that I help you feel better. You said you are still unsure who are you meant to be ?”

Spike nodded

“Yes, that is the general issue. From time to time, I just don’t feel..well, “pony enough”, I guess. During those periods of time, I am usually moping in this and this is why I was hesitant to talk about this. My fate is something that I should discover and decide. But...”

“You felt estranged enough in the past to do this alone” Rarity sniffed at she furiously tried to remove the smudged trails of mascara.

Spike chuckled and got up.

“Wait a moment !” he said and disappeared

Rarity was left motionless. Then Spike returned with a small piece of clean cloth.

He pointed to her face.

“May I, milady?”

Rarity giggled and lowered her head

“Do your duty, oh fair knight “

With great care and gentleness, Spike removed all the mascara from the face of the white beauty, trying desperately not to think how adorably squishy and soft Rarity’s cheeks felt through the cloth.

“Then, all done.” Spike exhaled and turned to the door “Rarity, I am really glad that you listened to me. I feel better already. But I can’t burden you anymore than I already did. So I will-“

“Spike !” Rarity said with firm tone that caused the dragon to turn around

With the furrowed eyebrows and determined look on her face, the designer slowly said

“Spike, what you just revealed was too important for me, or it would be for any of our friends. You don’t think that you would simply walk away with it, do you ?”

Spike tilted his head to the side, his mouth slightly open

“Rarity...”

“Spike, give me this evening” the fashionista continued” and through the time we spend together, you may find your answers.”

Spike opened his mouth and then closed it again.

“Are you sure ? Do you even know how we can do it ?”

Rarity gave a dragon a cute pout and watched with amusement as he blushed fiercely. She sighed, tossing her masterfully curled violet mane to the other side of her neck.

“To be honest, I don’t. But what I do know is that the search of that nature is better conducted with somepony by your side. Spike, you did so much for me in the past. Consider it as a repaying the favor. Besides, nothing is as pleasant as the time spent by the side of someone so dear to me as you”

Spike smiled at his long time love, flashing the white fangs in his mouth

“It would be an honor” he bowed slightly.

Rarity rolled her eyes with amusement and motioned towards the kitchen

“Why don’t we commence with preparing some food.” she suggested

The dragon nodded and was about to go through the door when Rarity suddenly stopped him

“One more question darling. As I said earlier, I am really flattered that you decided to confess to me, but...why exactly me ? I am no expert in the matter and surely there were more qualified ponies that could handle the task. Starlight for example, she is a guidance consuler, isn’t she ?”

Spike scratched his head

“Yeah, I thought about Starlight. But she is recently off duty, trying to make up for the lost time with Trixie and the rest of her friends. I can’t blame her and I was glad that it was solved somehow, that glowing bracelet was starting to drive me crazy ! So I decided that I would avoid her for a while. Her work-ponysona, I mean”

Rarity tapped her chin

“Oh, I see...but if you have doubts about your purpose or destiny, why not going to my dear sister and her friends ? Since you being upset started because of their party...”

Spike shook his head

“I don’t doubt that Sweetie and the Crusaders would do everything in their power to satisfy me, I had some second thoughts however. That was not the main thing I was looking for. A purpose and satisfaction is not the same thing”

He looked into the deep pools of azure blue, shaded by the long eyelashes.

“Rarity, I chose to come to you because of two reasons. Firstly, I trust you more than anyone in Equestria, save from Twilight and Princess Celestia. And secondly...your special talent is something that can help me find my answers”

Rarity instinctively looked at her diamond-adorned flank

“My special talent ? How so ?”

“Your ability is not only to find gems. Your true gift is to find beauty in everything, no matter how dull it may seem. You lift everything up when it seems there is no hope. You give it the part of beauty that you shine through with. You do everything to make everything feel and look wonderful. And that’s why I hoped that being with you will help me see this beauty in me and maybe it will stay with me. As long as I am with you.”

Rarity felt a hot blush creep up her pale features. Like many others, her cutie mark could have a few interpretations. Some ponies thought she was just another pretty face liking shiny things. Well, she assumed that was partially true. But there was much more to her purpose and Spike managed to capture it in such a romantic way...she felt a warm feeling of gratitude spread through her body.

“Thank you Spikey Whikey” she whispered softly, when she followed the dragon to the kitchen “ I promise I won’t let you down. I will dig as deep as I can. And coming from me, this is a statement of a century.”