Derpy and the Muffin War!

by Koregazz

Chapter 3: Rain clouds, Magic, and a Twist

AUTHOR'S NOTE
I can only hope I won't have to create another intense chapter like this again haha...so long...SO LONG D:!
Happy Hunting :3

Cover! Need cover!

Scrambling to make it out of the way of the spluttering of muffins coming across the way, the lone pony was searching for cover of any kind. At this point a box would work perfectly in this situation.

Another dodge here and there, the mass chaos surrounding the district was inescapable. Both sides were taking massive fire as the quaint, little shopping center had become the battlegrounds for a turning point in this war.

Drip...drip...drip...drip...drip

It had seemingly started to rain out of nowhere. Then again, there was strange weather happening all over Ponyville. Strong gusts of wind in the west, desert-like heat in the south. There was even a distinct odor festering itself in the north and quickly spreading.

Whatever in Equestria was going on, it was happening in a manner unlike anypony has seen.

Fastening her vestment, the battle-worn pony strode out to the battlefield once more. Taking a strong nosedive, she managed to dodge another muffin. Calming herself through slow, deep breaths; she blind threw a muffin hoping it would hit something.

BOOOOOOOOM!

What the...?

Checking over the edge of her cover, she noticed a gaping crater in the middle of the two sides. With no time to investigate, she lunged over the potted section, and charged forward. Here is where I’ll take my last stand!

This was the last known recording of Twilight Sparkle in the heated battle of Silver District...

One hour previous

She had been stalking her victim for countless moments. There wasn’t a sign yet that they knew whoever was watching them was ready to pounce as soon as a moment of weakness shone. Peering over a metal swing, Derpy clenched her eyes to get a more precise focus. A sniffs of the air gave her the unmistakable hint of raspberry hung low. It started a little above her head, but trailed slowly down to the object in front of her.

Licking her lips in anticipation, she waited until the moment was right. She had taken notice earlier of a cloud drifting by; when it hovered over her that would be the moment to strike.

Taking a hoof to pick up the traces of drool foaming at her mouth, Derpy was losing it. Her patience paid off though as the cloud finally hit its intended mark. “RAAAAAAAAAWR!” said Derpy with a triumphant cry.

Breaking out her sizeable jaw, she ferociously tore at the helpless muffin. It could do nothing as bit by tiny bit, it was maimed. With a delightful mmm! Derpy trotted her merrily way.

Even with all the commotions that had occurred previous, Derpy was in fact bored with the day. What with this whole war taking place, her job had been put on hold. She wasn’t delivery hopeful news or meeting up with anyone. There just wasn’t enough happening that would be able to replace her everyday experiences. Still, Derpy had managed to keep up a positive attitude that that would change.

Making a left in the intersection she had come across, there was still a vast expanse of nothing. “This is just no fun” she expressed with sincere displeasure. “Hey, is anyone here?!”

No reply.

Allowing herself another intake of exasperation, she gazed around and around and around. Causing herself to fumble to the ground in a bout of dizziness, she slowly picked herself up. At least that is what she tried as she once again found the ground to be in her nose. Seemingly mocking her, she frowned at it and spat at the ground.

Realizing how ridiculous her argument against the all-powerful ground was, she decided to try again. This time she carefully allowed one hoof to stretch out in front of her. Pulling in her legs, she pushed them up with a resounding pop! and landed on all fours.

The ground was being scuffed by hooves and grass could be heard rustling in the distance. The air was filled with a scent of fear quickly amassing around the park. Derpy made sure not to let her gaze drift off of the figure in front of her (or at least go un-crossed). Tension rising, someone had to make a move. The figure in shadow opened their mouth, but Derpy was quick to shut them down. “What do you want!” she demanded.

With a look of confusion, the figure was at a loss to reply. It wasn’t much of a victory, but Derpy was more than pleased she was able to halt someone’s retort. Now all she had to do was act upon this fine opportunity.

“Why is it that you are doing this, here in that front of...” she had started to blend her thoughts together in a slur of words. Nice.

This time the other figure did not try to reply and instead took action. A few tentative steps led into an all-out dash towards Derpy. Contact was made in no short of time. Flying onto her back, she tried to roll over, but failed in her plight. Now the figure was on top of her, getting ready to deal the final blow. All it would take is one; swift pummel and she would be out for good. Oh dear!

A breeze blew through the space between the two huddled masses. More seconds passed as she awaited her demise. Even more time past by and there was no pain or any feeling to signify she had been assaulted. What the heck is going on? she thought to herself.

She daintily opened one eye to see what went wrong. Gasping in a profound moment of realization, she flung herself back up, knocking off the figure. A little disheveled, the figure was able to pick themselves up with some low, but audible groans.

“You know you didn’t have to go and do that Derpy” responded the figure after recovering.

Gasping in mock horror, “OH I’M JUST SO SORRY TWILIGHT I WAS JUST...WELL I THOUGHT...OH” in a frantic state, the figure started to shake Derpy’s shoulders in hope it would calm her down.

“Yes well I’m just glad you finally recognized me” stated the still shadowed figure. Content that Derpy had recognized them, they decided to pull of the shadow enchantment.

Annoyed, but happy nonetheless stood Twilight Sparkle.

One meet-and-greet later, Derpy followed Twilight ahead. “So you are saying there is a...pre...cirsus?” Twilight taking a slight nod at Derpy’s confusion of the word, she helped her out.

“Precision. It means being exact in simple terms.” Nodding slightly at the help, Derpy trotted happily along with Twilight further.

“So there is this pre...precision group! That you are a part of?”

Giving an approving node, Twilight continued on with the details. “I met them when I was running from a band of others. They were pretty intent on taking me down, but I was able to outwit them for a moment.” Taking a second to firmly grasp her thoughts, “But then they eventually cornered me. I was just about to ‘wave the white flag’ when they showed up. It was pretty nice of them, but I was told that I would have to conform to their ranks if it was to stay that way.”

“What are they like?” Derpy quickly questioned with a small chuckle.

“Oh they sure know their stuff!” she said with great enthusiasm. “Organized and on-demand strategists, I think I fit perfectly!” Twilight realizing what she said, blushed slightly at her over-ecstatic attitude. “Anyways! I think you will do perfectly. I can assuredly guarantee that.”

Looking at her surroundings, Derpy found that they were exiting the residential areas and coming into the business sections. There were some high buildings, with fewer outbreaks of plant life. The air had become increasingly dusty from entering this area. Without taking notice of it, they continued on deeper and deeper.

Walking along, Derpy hit a bit of the ground a little too hard and made a huge cloud of dust run into her face. Twilight turned to notice Derpy causing a major fuss. “Calm down Derpy! You’re going to kick up more if you keep that up” She warned. Still, nothing could be done with what was occurring. In a massive state of confusion, more dust was being kicked up forming a layer of it in the air. At the same time, a small gust of wind had picked up.

“What is causing all this weird weather? I thought it died down, but I just don’t know anymore” Twilight commented in fear.
Something perked up her senses, so she turned to face in the direction they had come from. Behind the deathly-sneezing Derpy was a wall of dust coming right for them. Panicking, Twilight grabbed Derpy by the leg and ran full speed. The impending doom could now be heard. It was as if a dragon was ramming towards them.

In front of the fleeing duo, there appeared to be no side streets that could be taken at the immediate moment. All available paths were too close to the streets, that any effort to hide would be in vain.

Twilight become frantic as she tried her hardest to discover something that would be able to provide cover for her and the flailing Derpy.

In shaking spouts, “Tw-light-plea-se-stop-or-I-wil-l-hurl.”

Taking a moment to collect herself, Twilight went into a state of intense focus. Searching the surroundings once moreover, there was something off to the side she never noticed before. THERE! In the far back behind a fountain, was a small building...with an open cellar. Galloping in long strides, Twilight quickly mustered all her strength for one last push to safety. The dust storm was directly behind them now, ever lazily grazing Derpy’s tail.

Feeling the sting of skin against sand, she hopped under Twilight and boosted her up. This was it, the last second before their end. She started to flap her wings, wincing at the sting of her earlier encounter. Overcoming all that, she still tried to flap them as hard as she could. There was a second of feeling weightless and Derpy realized she was just barely off the ground.

Brushing past this excitement, she took a slight dip to pass by the fountain and head straight towards their opening. Bits of sand could be felt on her back, burning her in rapid succession. No! I need to make this! Gritting her teeth, Derpy lunged forward in a last ditch effort for extra momentum. “WE AREN’T GOING TO MAKE IT” Screamed Twilight in intense fright. Closing their eyes at the last moment, they accepted this tragic truth...

TUMBLETUMBLETUMBLETUMBLETUMBLE!

A dank drip from a running faucet enlivened the darkened interior of the cellar. Shifting shadows were attacking the door above as the sandstorm passed. Its intense roar was still ravaging away as if in anger.

Drip...drip...drip...drip...

Piercing the air in a constant cycling, the broken faucet droplets continued on. The duos tumble to the far floor of the cellar had dismantled planks along the stairs. Cracks where fresh bumps groaned, splinters lying about on perfectly intact boards. Low light from the cracks in the cellar door permeated what lay on the stairs end. One gray pony lay splashed across a purple one in a lazy position.

Derpy softly positioned her hoof to the side to gain better posture. Struggling at first, she was able to pull one half above the other and topple to the side of Twilight so as not to crush her. Eyes still closed in response to the pain she just endured, Derpy placed a hoof on her forehead to calm the raging headache now present. Soft droplets of sweat covered her heaping lump of a body. Splinters, bruising, cuts, and grains of sand covered her.

All the while, Twilight seemed to be unconscious. There were some semblances that she could feel her surroundings, but unless you count heavy breathing a sign, there wasn’t much else. Taking in the small gap they lay in at the moment, Derpy tried to gain vision of the interior of the cellar. Too dark. She thought as she quickly gave up on that happening. Still, she needed to do something if she was going to get them out. Trying out a different strategy, she listened instead of relying on sight.

Drip...drip...drip...drip...

Picking up more of the cellar, she heard a leaky faucet, a buzzing from some lantern in the distance, some soft movement possibly from a stray bug keeping safe in here until the sandstorm died down. Cursing in frustration, Derpy slowly shuffled to one side until she was sure she had a grip on her weight; then proceeded to flip onto her belly, hitting a wall with her hooves ,she resisted the urge to stop. Taking ever more effort, she managed to throw a few under her and throw all the power she could in a shove up. It failed.

“I just don’t know what went wrong” She said in desperation.

Sniffling a bit at their situation, she started to drift into sleep. Head bobbing, and sight growing weaker, she let herself slowly collapse. Tap. Tip. Tap. Tip. Tap. A noise broke the devoted sounds of the dank cellar. Derpy strained one eye open in hopes of figuring out what it was, before she once again drifted off.

“Srllggjshwhelpthem” said somepony in the distance. The slurred speech wasn’t really slurred, but her ears giving out.

Feeling herself just about ready to give in, one last sight gave her fear or hope. She couldn’t really tell for sure, but the pony in front of her looked to be wearing body armor. A shuffling noise was happening next to her, as Derpy saw Twilight being dragged away by another figure. “Wait...what...are...you” She struggled in one last motion.

Slowly the room swirled in one single motion. Darkness.

Wondrous patches of flowers bloomed across the wide expanse of the garden. The invisible sun that glowed bright enough to allow all inhabitants its warmth. A small package was in the midst of this entire wonderland. Happily skipping her merry way, a gray pony frolicked in what was essentially paradise. She noticed the package a while ago and had finally found her way to its little section of the world. It was strange for it to be here, but then again random things happened like that here. The day before last there was a rainbow of bubbles that had seemingly just formed from nothing. Derpy intent on finding the contents as fast as possible shredded the package into a million tiny pieces with her ferocious jaws. In one swift explosion, an infinite amount of muffins showered out of the tiny package. Falling down in a sprinkler-affect, Derpy looked up and danced. Spinning in her little corner of the world, she was content as could be. There wasn’t any mischief or mishap, no war. There were just her and her muffins, rainbows, flowers, bubbles, and friends when they decided to visit from time to time. Paradise! What a wonderful paradise!

CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!

The noise was ceaseless and shook the foundations of her paradise. Flowers were being thrown, muffins shredding, and all the while stood a stunned lover of these items. Crying out to her lovely creations, she sunk into darkness. The paradise she was in moments ago rose above her as she fell into the pit of nothing. Her cries had become silent, her tears gone; the happy-go-lucky pony had fallen into nonexistence...

Shocked awake, Derpy withstood the want to cry out. Flashing lights and images of her dream wove in and out of her vision. Tipping over slightly, she stuck up her head in hopes to not fall down. She had originally thought the room to be completely dark, but in fact was not. Hanging above her was a buzzing lantern that shone an eerie-yellow hue into her eyes. The room was dank and smelled as if it hadn’t been cleaned in what seems like ages, but it was nonetheless still in condition to sleep in. Scratching the side of her head, she stood up. Looking down she noticed there was a blanket where she previously slept. Wonder what that’s doing there. Pondering only for a moment, she lost care in the blanket and circled around the room.

It appeared that this room wasn’t as dank and empty as she had thought it to be. There was a desk near a far corner, covered in a light dust. To the left were some rusty chairs, with tearing pieces of blue paint upon them. A small cluster of papers were shuffled off to the corner nearest her, in a neatly laid out pile. They had old writing on them, possibly not have been even been looked upon for even longer than the room.

Grunting at the simplicity of it all, Derpy continued her tour through the domain. The buzzing of light from above kept a little atmosphere in the otherwise silent room. Carefully trudging her way into the darker parts, she found a handle. Woo a door! Taking a firm grip upon the handle, she turned to open. A clank and it didn’t move anymore. She tried to do this a few more times before giving up. Either the handle was already broken or the age-old door really just died out. But then how did I get in here? she pondered.

Deciding that there was more going on than seemed previous, she tried to find more clues of her whereabouts. Trying a little too hard at her search, she knocked up a thick layer of dust straight into her nostrils. ACHOO! The wrinkle upon her face tightened in a spastic flurry of blows to her.

Clank. Clank.

A previously unknown noise filled the room. It caused everything to stand on edge; even the light source flickered in fear of it. Frozen solid, Derpy had to find the source of the noise or she would find herself having more than a sneezing fit. Turning swiftly to face the door, she saw something in the dim lighting. A small ounce of light seemed to penetrate the doorknob. Upon closer inspection there seemed to be a moving a glow on it as well. It was turning.

Feeling panic swell in her once more, she tried to find anything to hide in or under. One look around the room told her the only safe place would be the desk. Perfect! Diving towards to the desk, she picked up her tail and cowered in a huddle. Now it can’t see me hahah! The creaking continued, until a final click told of its finish. A breeze blew through the room, and the door was opened wide.

Something was blocking the doorway, preventing whatever light lay beyond from fully covering the small area. Derpy recognized the pony standing stock still immediately. It was the same pony who had found her and Twilight after they got away from the dust storm. Rage filling inside her for the audacity of this brute, she grew over her fright and lunged after her target. Oomph! Flung back from her failed assault, she landed onto her already sore back.

Walking towards Derpy, the soldier seemed to not take notice of her failure. Instead, he directed his attention to the light up above. “These really need to be replaced. They suck!” He said with a charming laugh.

Confused, Derpy could only look at him as he kicked it a few times. The lantern shone brightly for a few seconds before dimming once more. “Ah well, what you can do about it. Well not you, more like Clop. That old buzzard still thinks we can get by with the simplest necessities, but I would like a bit more.”

Now more in the dark than before, Derpy got the urge to speak to this seemingly charming stallion. “Who are you?” she questioned.

Finally taking notice of her, he decided to respond. “Who me? Names Chuck, but all my good buds call me Chuckles.”

She could guess why.

At least she now knew his name, now was where the real question came into place:

“DO YOU KNOW WHERE TWILIGH IS?!”

...a little louder than I said it in my head she thought.

A little stunned at the volume, Chuckles recovered quickly. “Sure, just follow me.”

Leaving the decrepit room, Chuckles led Derpy ahead of where she was found. The farther they walked, the livelier their surroundings became. Water-stained walls became peeling paper, which became newly masked floral patterns. Derpy had originally thought this to be some kind of prison, but the more she looked, the better of it seemed. It looked more like a flower shop than anything; just with a massive backroom. Birds started to be filling the emptiness, as well as the sounds of a crowd. There were all kinds of noises from small talk, to the moving of materials. Whatever was going beyond this hallway, it was a big operation.

They made it to the end, and with a small shove the double doors opened to what could only be scene in movies. There appeared to be more guards in the camouflage vests than just the two that had happened upon Derpy and Twilight earlier. It looked to be well over thirty or fifty individuals. All of them were working fast, moving carts, shuffling muffins into makeshift cannons, eating. She was so enthralled at all going on around her; she didn’t notice Chuckles grinning vehemently at her.
Deciding that she had taken more than enough time to gawk at the workers, Chuckles bopped her nose.

A little taken off guard, she jumped. Laughing up a storm, Chuckles pulled her forward to where he had wanted to take her. There was a table sitting in front of a fully taken off corner of the shop. Its walls had been blasted through so as to easily maneuver into it. Sitting at the table was an individual Derpy did not know and one she almost gripped to death in affection: Twilight.

Twilight was shocked at being knocked to the ground in a frenzy of tight hugs, but nonetheless was happy to see Derpy alive. “I’m glad you’re okay Derpy...but could you please un-grip me?...I’m kind of losing air here.”

Blushing at her actions, Derpy nodded in acceptance and released Twilight.

All the while, the gruff stallion to Twilight’s right had been staring at the whole scene. In a mocking noise of annoyance, he started to sip from his blackened drink. Taking a few seconds to let the others compose themselves, “So as I was saying Ms. Twilight. I feel that if you be put on the front lines, that we would be able to strike terrible fear for our assault.”

Coughing from her recent recovery, “Yes, well, I don’t think I can really accept that. I’m not much of a fighter, so I don’t see how much good I COULD do.” Putting the extra emphasis on could, she sipped from her tea in front of her.

“What is this old one talking ‘bout Twilight?” Derpy interjected.

Taken aback from her question, the “old gruff” retaliated. “OLD! OLD!? Ms. Hooves I will have you know that you must show respect for your elders!” he was quickly showing signs of blowing a vein in his already throbbing temple. “Besides...I’m not old at all. I am forty-two for your information.” Content with his loss of temper, he took a mighty chug from his cup and finished off his drink.

“Now back to businu--”

“GENERAL CLOP! WE HAVE TROUBLE!” In rushed a clearly frightened pony about to lose whatever sanity she had left.

“What is it Ms. Peck?”

“WE’RE GETTING ATTACKED!” Those words stung the air with a mighty pierce. The old gruff, or Clop, tipped his drink, crashing it to the ground. Quickly moving into action, he jumped out of the shop hole and rushed to where the workers were. Shouting out orders left and right, the other ponies and stallions rushed to get to wherever they were being ordered to go.
Derpy being confused as always, could only look to Twilight for help; even then Twilight was wearing a face of intense thought. “Twi? What is going on?”

“Come on Derpy, we need to go now!” She fiercely spat the last word and rushed towards to the opening as well.

Derpy had to strive to keep up with Twilight. They had barely made it a few yards before a dozen muffins flew by them in short succession. This was definitely an attack. “Here Derpy!” Twilight commanded.

Rushing to where she Twilight was, she dove next to her. They were behind a tallish bush that provided more than enough cover. Breaking out in a sweat, Twilight eagerly started grabbing for something in her pouch. Retrieving it in no time, she was able to pull out a book. “What are you going to do with that Twilight?”

Too focused on whatever anyone was saying, she quickly started mouthing an excessive amount of gibberish. Picking her head up, flung the book over the bush. With a long slide, it landed near a group of the ambushers. Amused that a book was thrown, they took no notice of what it would do next. One loud pop later and they were covered in a sticky mush of batter.

“Perfect. They never expect the old batter-in-a-book trick do they?”

Minutes were feeling like hours as more muffins dropped by from both sides. It wasn’t too clear on who was winning, but it was clear that one little mistake from either would announce the winner. Derpy was trying her hardest too, making sure to land most of her well placed hits. Even she too however was feeling the effects of wearing out. Unable to keep momentum, she fell a bit ago and has just been blind tossing from various safe points.

All the while, Twilight seemed to be in the full neck of things. As well as General Clop. They were working in tangent, each covering each other’s backs and making all their shots count. Twilight using her traps to slow down the waves of enemies, and Clop going face-to-face with them and giving them a good brawl. Perfect harmony.

That could only last so long...

Becoming too enthralled in the thrill of battle, Clop didn’t notice a lone soldier sneaking up to him in a last effort to make his worth count. Taking the only opportunity he had, the soldier lunged at Clop and dealt a nasty blow to his head.

Blackberry...oh the horror.

Screaming in jelly pain, Clop fell to the ground in a heap of dust, batter, and muffin crumbs. Twilight quickly fell on him to give him cover from any further damage. “Clop! Are you okay?” she frantically struggled to keep calm.

“Ugh. That nasty brat got me...I don’t...I don’t.”

“No! You’re going to make it! You hear me General; this is not where you end.”

General Clop chuckled a little at that last comment. “Oh you youngins’, always so rash to save those you care for. Don’t worry for me, you command this unit now.”

His last words, before he slumped down.

For a moment it looked like she was going to lose it, and all Derpy could do was watch as Twilight didn’t pick herself up. Rushing to her side, but before she made it she was halted by a lone hoof. Chuckles intercepted Derpy at the last second and nodded towards Twilight’s location.

Still in a painful vice grip with the General, she slowly let him fall. Bringing her face to eye-level, the tears were gone and only left were the stains that they once even existed. “I will carry on his word.” Filled with immense pride, she walked forward to Derpy.

Drip...Drip Drip...Drip...Drip Drip Drip Drip!

Starting slow and cautious at first, the pelting of water quickly surged in passion. Rain clouds hung above the battlefield. Letting loose their tears.

Someponies looked to the skies to see what all the fuss was about, but most ignored it; knowing doing so would free them up for an assault. It had splurged forth from unknown locations, but the rain clouds darkened the skies above, blocking the sun. Only shadows graced the battlefield.

Derpy looked to the skies, holding a confused mouth hanging open. She was in awe at the random occurrence.
There were a group of huddled soldiers a little ways out, but close enough. Derpy picked up a muffin quickly and threw it at the charging masses.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

A loud roar from a nearby explosion cleared right through the streets. Derpy curious, looked over her covering and what she saw put her in stunned silence. Where she threw the muffin, there was now a gaping crater. Mist was steaming from the remains of the side of book shop behind it. Did I do that? It wasn’t the only explosion to be heard or seen. Soon enough they were happening all over the area. Popping up in the middle of fights, where failed tosses happened to fly by.

The muffins...had become bombs!

Looking around at the mass of destruction occurring around, Derpy was in awestruck at all of it. Twilight noticing it too, she found herself contemplating what to do now that this was happening. Thinking on her hooves, she grabbed Derpy and started relaying to her the conclusion of her thoughts.

“Derpy, I need you to go” Twilight said without any emotion.

“But...” was all she could spout as she took her gaze to her friend.

“No! No but’s about it, you need to forge on now!” she quickly shouted.

She calmly put a hoof on Derpy’s shoulder and gave her a motherly-look of sadness. “It hurts, but don’t worry. We’ll meet up again. But right now I need you to go on. You will be more use out of here, than if you stayed.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Coming to an agreement, they both shared a final laugh. Chuckles all the while smiling at the strong bond that both the girls had.

Saying a final goodbye, Derpy rushed off away from the streets of battle. She didn’t know when she would see anyone from there again, but hopefully soon enough. Who else would she share a nice muffin with?

Seeing Derpy off, Twilight spun around. “I think it is time I show these ponies what Twilight Sparkle is all about!

Comments

[Sanity]

This is intense.
I think
Not really sure what's goin on.
but then again, i'm not paying attention
i love this story though, in all seriousness

[Koregazz]

Okay some recent things that are delaying the next two chapters (and writing):

.Caught a cold...pretty nasty. I am woozy
.Anime con coming up...can't miss that
.Lazy...

But I will soon have them rolled out by...well I know I don't want to set any dates so

Soon(tm)

Just thought a little update was in order :D