It's an interesting concept, even if thus far Ocellus has only caused way more trouble.
I'm also intrigued by what exactly it was the Ocellus took from Gallus.

The writing could do with serious editing though. There are a lot of instances where the wrong word being used and speech tends to be clipped, without natural contractions. In practice people usually only speak like that when they are emphasising a point (or are Data from Star Trek).

The story itself is good the events though are fucked like how in the name of hell is this gonna get fixed Ocellus you horny bastard.

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It was probably the perception of virginity she took from him assuming he is one in this story

Thankyou both for the comments. As for what Ocellus took from Gallus, I will go further into that if the story is continued.(I wrote it to either serve as a start of something bigger, or just be a standalone oneshot. For now I am tinkering on a continuation but can not promise it will come to flourish.)

But in general terms, changelings inherently drain essence from their mates, part of the magic that makes up all living creatures. It doesn't always have to be out of ill intent and changelings can live without doing so(Changedlings) but their natural response when given the opportunity is to do so. This is a headcannon I have held ever since we first witnessed the royal wedding and the effects long term changeling influence can have on a creature like Shining Armor. In the short term it is not prohibitively harmful but leaves the subject exhausted and long term exposure could leave them as a husk of themselves.

And yes, the events of the fic are a little messed up and if I continue the fic they will likely require a dark tag. My goal is to write a sour tale while keeping the characters that we know as recognizable, if you look at my past work you can see that I often enjoy exploring the possible downfall of well intended characters.

I took the critique to heart and will attempt another minor editing pass on the chapters out so far, but sadly there is only so much I can do when it comes to the quality of my writing, some quirks are hard to overcome.

all the foalcon