Reflection of Nightmares

by Cold Spike

Chapter Thirteen: Everything is Broken

Phoenix wasn’t sure when her mind had simply shut down. Everything had gone so fast. Thunderlane brought them into Ponyville General Hospital and, before she knew it, a nurse had rushed her down a hallway while Thunderlane had been chosen as her temporary guardian. She was then placed in a private room in the foal wing and given a hospital smock to wear. Now, Phoenix found herself seated on a rather cold feeling hospital bed surrounded by childish-looking wallpaper depicting teddy bears and balloons.

“Just wait right here, please. I’ll be right back. Can you be brave for me and stay by yourself, sweetie?” the kind nurse had asked.

Phoenix felt her eye twitch in annoyance by the condescending talk, but she gave a stiff nod. The door shut and she was left alone, in silence.

Promise or not, I feel stupid. This place feels so… babyish!

She wasn’t sure why it bothered her so much; it wasn’t as if anypony but the staff could see her. But it was a ridiculous stark contrast compared to what she had been used to. Her mind tried to wander, but she couldn’t even bother to think back on dark memories. Her hospital room was simply far too bright and cheerful looking.

Blushing a tad, she couldn’t help but feel a tad better. Sure, she had a splitting headache and her wing had started to hurt something fierce, but for once she felt safe. It was strange.

She closed her eyes and took a very deep breath. For a solid twenty seconds, she held the air in her lungs until they were fit to bursting, and then she released. Phoenix repeated this five times before she felt her breathing steady and her head pain weaken a tad.

Several knocks on her room’s door broke her out of a stupor and a stallion pony wearing a typical white coat and a stethoscope cantered in. He was a unicorn pony with a brown mane and coat.

“Phoenix is it? May I come in?”

“Uh, yeah,” she replied.

“Good. My name is Dr. Horse. So, how are we feeling today? I was told something is wrong with one of your wings?”

She glanced back at her bandaged wing and shrugged. “Um, it’s been hurting.”

Tell him.

“Well, let’s just take a look shall we?”

She felt the fur on her feathers flinch and her body felt on edge while the doctor rummaged around on her back. She hated that feeling but knew it was necessary.

“Does any of this hurt?”

“Not really,” she mumbled. Though she could feel tiny prickly feelings of pain, she doubted that mattered.

“Yes or no?”

She felt him rub around her fur and she jumped away. “Hey! What was that for?”

“I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Y-yes,” she squeaked and then quickly shook her head. “I thought you were just gonna stitch my wings or something?”

“I haven’t gotten to them yet. I apologize for the pain, but there are numerous bruises along your back and I need to examine them,” he explained. Then he shot her a rather curious look. “Is that alright?”

Just like the nurse, he used that same sickenly sweet tone. Just let him do it and get it over with, she thought. “Fine.”

Tell him.

“Good. Just hold still and I’ll be finished in a jiffy.”

Tell him now.

He continued to poke and prod while she winced several times. After every whimper, he would make a few notes and she would sigh.

“It would seem you’ve been doing quite a bit of roughhousing. Do you exercise a lot?”

She sighed again. “No.”

“What about flight training? Is it something you practice a lot?”

Her eye twitched in annoyance. “No.”

“I see. Well, let me just take a look at your wing. I’ll have to remove the bandage, so do you mind laying down?”

“What, why?!” she asked suddenly.

“Because I said so. Please? You can have a sucker after if you’re good,” he said again in a sweet voice.

“A what?” she yelled, feeling her voice squeak. She glanced up at the doctor who stared down at her, bewildered.

“Um, sorry. Perhaps you’re a tad old for that, but it would be a big help if you laid down. Please?”

She sighed and nodded. “Whatever.”

Phoenix waited and soon felt several of her bandages being slowly unwrapped. She winced when the last bit was ripped clean, which had stuck to the wound.

Tell him!

“Oh my. Stay perfectly still, please. I’m afraid you will need a few stitches, after a thorough examination, er, just to be sure,” he mumbled. Though the doctor sounded quite unsure.

He knows it’s a knife wound, she thought miserably. Tell him.

She thought about what Scootaloo’s parents would say if they knew the truth. “You know she could- she could be… I dunno, evil! For all we know!”

I’m not evil! she thought and closed her eyes tightly. She could feel her teeth bite into her lips, hard. Blood seeped out and she felt like the entire world was crashing down from every corner. A sickening, copper-like taste leaked into her mouth and she gagged while shaking.

“Phoenix?” the doctor said and she felt herself flench and freeze. “Are you okay?”

Tell him…

“Ye- yes. I--”

At an impossibly fast rate, she felt a horrible feeling of bile and sickness climb from her stomach to her throat. Realizing what was happening, she bolted off the table, ignoring the shouts of the doctor, and barely made it above a trash can. She felt her body throw up for close to five seconds; the pain was excruciating. And in a flash, it was over with. Whimpering, Phoenix slowly settled on the floor away from the gross deed, panting for air and trying not to cry.

With a stern gaze, the doctor leaned in. “Are you alright?”

“I- it hurts…” she mumbled. She hated how much pain she was in and how nasty the throw up tasted. Phoenix wasn’t sure how long she tried to catch her breath, but it never seemed to steady; her lungs felt like they were on fire.

The doctor stood up and quickly examined her. “Phoenix, I need you to look at me. Focus on my face, please.”

Her vision doubled, making that a very difficult goal. She tried but ended up slumping further into the floor. “N- need s- sheep,” she mumbled. Everything around her started to shift from complex shapes to fuzzy outlines.

“N- nurse! NURSE!”

Need can…

She heard more shouts and ponies shuffling around, and she could swear she felt somepony feeling around her body. But everything felt so distant and her head pain felt so powerful that it was naught but a pure sting that radiated throughout her body.

“Phoenix, you have to tell us what’s wrong. Where does it hurt?!”

He sounds worried…

Phoenix tried to speak but it felt like a tiny whimper. After a few tries, she found that her vision had cleared some. She glanced around and spotted her trusty saddlebag that she had insisted some with her. Smiling, she pointed. “C- can. Need it,” she mumbled. Just doing that seemed to sap her remaining energy and she suddenly felt an overwhelming need to sleep. Her eyelids fluttered and the world doubled over in her vision, again.

“What? I--” She saw the doctor quickly rummage into her bag just as sleep took her.

---

Thunderlane couldn’t comprehend what he was looking at. The filly that he had brought in just moments ago was now hooked up to a magical ventilator and had an IV drip hooked into her hoof. The doctors had explained that she also needed emergency treatment before healing up a rather nasty infection and giving stitches around her wings. After that, they explained that the wound around her wing wasn’t some silly accident, but a knife injury.

A knife, he had to remind himself. Who the hay is this kid?!

Thunderlane glanced down at the strange filly’s bag and considered tossing it aside since it was covered in bits of blood, of all things. Theories rolled by his head at a million ideas a second. Was she being abused? What was her home life like? Did Rumble know her that well? Should he respond to the kind nurse who kept giving him googly eyes?!

No dude, focus. This foal needs… well, she needs some kind of help.

Suddenly the doctor from earlier rounded the corner and nearly bumped into him. “Good, now that she’s stable I need to ask you a few questions about young Phoenix here. If you wouldn’t mind.”

Thunderlane shrugged. “Look, I don’t know much about her.”

“Oh? How did she even come to be in your care then?”

“Well, you remember when I took Rumble to see everyone here? And we decided on Zecora.”

“Ah, yes, I do still think that he would have done quite well here, but you are his brother and all,” he replied with a bit of smugness.

“Right, well Phoenix was under her care I guess and I decided to fly her here. Zecora thought it was a good idea too and she wasn’t wrong.”

“I see, so you don’t know this child that well?”

Thunderlane glanced at the sleeping filly. She had bags under her eyes and looked beyond exhausted. Then he looked down at her bloodied bag and sighed. “No, but I don’t think she should be alone right now.”

“Agreed. I’ve sent one of my assistants into town to see if anypony is looking for a lost foal, meanwhile. Anyway, I do have some other guests to attend to. Would you mind sitting with her? And calling a nurse if she wakes?”

“Oh, uh sure.”

With that, the doctor left them be, and with a sigh, Thunderlane sat on a nearby chair. He couldn’t help but study her body with immense pity.

That could be Rumble laying there. She looks awful like she fought a Manticore and lost or something.

The stallion watched her breath in and out as his mind trailed off, trying to comprehend her existence. Who the hay would stab a foal?! It's monstrous!

Curiosity getting the better of him, he unzipped her bag and started rummaging around. The first thing he took note of was a metal container that had a symbol of a phoenix on it and a familiar-looking red cross. “First-aid kit? Uh, okay.” A few red flags started firing, but it wasn’t too unusual.

Setting that aside, he found a strange-looking lantern, miniature in size. “What does she need this for? Is that a sleeping bag?”

More red flags and then he found the strangest object so far, a small bone inside of a glass case. A bone that, if he wasn’t mistaken, belonged to a unicorn’s horn. He blinked and blinked again and then a third time. Slowly, Thunderlane looked over at the filly with a new sense of fear.

“No,” he said and shook his head. “Gotta be a toy or something,” he told himself, but he wasn’t sure if he even believed that.

“Okay, Thunderlane, get a grip. You’re a Wonderbolt. You’ve been through more training than almost anypony in all of Equestria. You’ve faced every challenge set forth by Spitfire and beyond. She’s just a foal, nothing to be afraid of.”

But then why wasn’t the fear leaving him?

He glanced back at her and frowned very deeply. That wound, he told himself. I’ve never even met somepony who's been stabbed before, let alone a child! You call yourself a Wonderbolt? Look what she had to go through!

With a very deep breath, he got up and inspected her wound. He couldn’t see much behind the bandage, but he knew that the thing was big enough that it couldn’t have been just some silly accident.

Children do get into things though, he reminded himself. If I had a bit for every time Rumble’s broken a window or flew into something or somepony. I’d be kind of wealthier than I am now, he thought. But that. That doesn’t look like some accident.

Even if he gave her the benefit of the doubt and toyed with the idea that maybe she accidentally flew into something sharp, it didn’t account for just what in the hay she was doing all alone in the EverFree Forest. Thunderlane wasn’t even a local to Ponyville and he knew of the dangers there. The doctor still hasn’t found her folks, either, he reminded himself.

The sheer pile of red flags was piling on. He shook his head and tried to think of some sort of rational explanation, but that only reminded him of a dear friend and her drawn-out story.

Is Spitfire even a friend? Eh, I think it’s fair to call her that.

It hadn’t been unheard of for pegasus ponies to be placed in their own care early on. He knew thinking in this way was a dangerous path to thinking that the other kinds of ponies were different, and that was a form of racism. But, deep down, Thunderlane held no hatred or pity for the unicorns and earth ponies.

But parents are a different story.

It was true that the older generation of ponies often kept to their old ways of doing things. The way modern pegasus ponies were raised nowadays would be considered babying or coddling their young. When Spitfire and Thunderlane were young, they were expected to go off on their own and fend for themselves. It was just how they did things. Spitfire, however, was different. When most adults would make sure they knew how to fly at an early age before they let their young go on their own, Spitfire’s folks simply kicked her off a cloud one day.

She was four.

Things turned out fine, though not for her folks. Accusations of endangering their child and arrests were swiftly dealt out. The biggest consequence being that poor Spitfire was on her own. She became a runaway and worked her way up from there. Her life had been harsh.

Thunderlane stared at the child before him and considered the similarities, with what little he knew of her. Could it be the same? Or something similar?

He may have been jumping to conclusions, but he didn’t have a lot to go on. He sighed again and slumped into his seat. Phoenix didn’t seem like she would be rousing anytime soon and he had very little to do.

“I should send a letter to Spitfire. Let her know I’m gonna be missing for practice tonight.”

Not knowing what to say really, he asked a kind nurse to send a simple letter to the Wonderbolt Academy. He explained that it was an emergency and if she needed him, he’d be at Ponyville General.

“She’ll understand, but boy is she gonna let me have it when I get more free time,” he mumbled. Thunderlane took another glance at the filly and felt frustrated beyond anything else. “Who are you, filly? Really?”

---

Diamond stood frozen to the spot while Scootaloo’s parents stared at her with raised brows.

“Please, we just need to know if you’ve seen Phoenix anywhere? I- I believe you’re one of her classmates. Diamond was it?”

Diamond stiffly nodded, deep in thought. She had seen her, but she didn’t much feel like divulging that. They had a fight, after all. Sort of, she told herself. More one-sided than anything.

“Good, my name is Pale and this is Feather. We’re Scootaloo’s parents. But I’m afraid Phoenix has run off in a hurry. She was upset. We just need to know if you’ve seen her.”

“Uh. I did. I think she was running that way,” Diamond eventually said. Pointing to the EverFree Forest.

The two gasped and shook their heads.

“Are you absolutely sure she went in there?!” Pale exclaimed in a hurry.

“W- well no. Uh, I don’t-- I mean I--” she trailed off and had to resist the urge to sniffle. She was angry with herself, angrier than she ever remembered being with anypony. And that included the stupid Crusaders. Biting her lip, Diamond looked away and mumbled something. She tried to explain things in a calm manner, but she felt far from relaxed.

“What was that? You need to speak up, please.”

“I don’t… I--” Diamond stopped herself and glanced at Phoenix’s diary. Without thinking, she tossed the thing to Pale. “T- this is hers. She dropped it when she ran off. It’s her journal,” she said. Diamond felt so wrong for reading the stupid thing, but adults usually knew what to do. Usually.

Feather stepped forward and looked into Diamond’s eyes. “Sweetie, are you feeling okay? You look a little ill.”

“Y- yeah. I think I should head home,” Diamond mumbled and started to walk away. She felt awful and really just wanted a good night’s rest. She didn’t even feel like playing tonight or doing much of anything fun. She didn’t deserve it.

She heard the two ponies talk amongst themselves then suddenly Pale flew over and stopped in front of her. “I think it would be best if I walked you home, Diamond. You don’t look well, plus it’s pretty dark out. C’mon,” she urged and surprised the filly by draping her massive wing over her body.

It felt warm and comforting, and it even made her blush slightly. “But what about Phoenix?” she squeaked.

Feather stepped forward and pointed off toward the forest. “I’ll be looking for her in the forest. Thank you for letting us know, you did a good thing, Diamond.”

Diamond Tiara watched the stallion fly off with wide eyes and an empty stare of her own. I did a good thing? Huh, she thought.

“Well then, let’s get going. I believe your house is on the other side of town?” Pale asked.

Still draped in the mare’s wing, the duo started walking. “Uh, yes, mam.”

“Right. It shouldn’t be too long.”

Their trek continued in silence though occasionally it would be broken up by Diamond’s harsh breathing.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem awfully nervous. I promise you’re not in trouble, you know.”

“I know!” she exclaimed, perhaps far too hastily. “I don’t like the dark that much,” she lied.

“Oh? Well, I suppose I should have brought a lantern. But it won't take long. So, how well do you know Phoenix? I’m curious.”

I read her life’s story. Pretty well, she thought but was thankful enough not to blurt it out. Even if she really wanted to. Deep down, it was like keeping a nasty secret that had to come out. Something that gave her an immense feeling of butterflies in her stomach and of extreme guilt. Did Pale even know about her journal?

“I dunno. Uh, not a lot. I saw a few pages in her journal though,” she finally forced out. It made her feel a bit better, but then the negative feelings only tripled when Pale suddenly stopped.

“Oh? What did it say?”

“I don’t, uh. I just skimmed it,” she replied lamely. She didn’t really know what to say. “Are you gonna read it?” Diamond asked curiously.

“I had considered it, yes. If it helps us find her anyway. It would be rude to do it without permission, but we need to make sure she’s safe.”

“Right,” Diamond said but then they stopped again. She could sense the adult glaring down at her and knew the jig was up. She was in trouble.

“Diamond. Did you read through all of it?”

“W- what?! No!” she squeaked. But her voice had cracked and she knew it was sort of a dead giveaway that she was lying.

Pale sighed. “It’s just, we’ve been asking around town and Mrs. Cake noted that you were in her cafe, reading a book that looked like this.”

As the words spilled out, Diamond felt her emotions spiral out of control. From disbelief that Pale knew the whole time, to outright betrayal for not saying. And then anger and sadness. All of it came spiraling up to her mind at such a speedy rate, she couldn’t quite keep her emotions in check. She felt the first of many tears to come and soon she cracked. She started crying and crying with hot, salty tears leaking down her face.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” she said, but she had immense difficulty keeping her voice level. “I found it, and I kept reading, and it was horrible!” she practically screamed. “There’s all these horrible things in there! H- how can anypony live like that?!”

She cried and cried and sniffled and huffed. As the seconds ticked by, she only felt worse and worse while the awful memories of the book pooled into the full front of her mind. Suddenly she felt a warm, fuzzy feeling on her face. Pale had brought her in for a surprise cuddle and without thinking Diamond hugged back, soaking the mare’s fur in her salty tears.

“Shh, deep breaths, Diamond. Shh.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she mumbled into Pale’s fur over and over. She really was sorry. She didn’t mean to lie, but she also didn’t want to relive what she had read. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you’re sorry, Diamond. Shhh. Here,” Pale said and surprised Diamond again by perching her up onto her back. Diamond held tightly and hugged the mare for all she was worth. It didn’t help much, but it certainly felt comfy. Pale walked them over to a nearby bench soaked in light and carefully set Diamond down.

“Deep breaths,” Pale reminded her.

Diamond sniffled and nodded. Her crying had downgraded to a minimum, but she was still doing it. She hated feeling this way; crying and she just didn’t mix well. But what else could she do? Everything about Phoenix’s story was plain awful and she kept reliving it again and again.

“Maybe it would help if you talked about it?”

“M- maybe,” she mumbled and took a long sniff. Her tears slowed to basically nothing, and she took a very deep breath. She felt a bit better and couldn’t help but lean into Pale’s side for support. It was comfort, a nice and warm feeling that she had needed. A feeling she hadn’t gotten from her parents in a long time.

“I could read this diary, but it sounds like what’s inside hurt you dearly. I’ve… well, I’ve been suspecting something is wrong with Phoenix. That sounds horrible when I say it out loud since she looks so much like my Scootaloo.?

Without thinking, Diamond blurted out, “She’s not like her, at all.”

“Oh, I know. It doesn’t take a scientist to figure that out, but it did take me a bit,” Pale admitted.

Both ponies glanced down at the diary and sighed together. “Okay, so you’ve read this and you say it’s awful? How so?”

Diamond remained silent for a good minute, trying to think up the best answer.

“You can take your time, I promise nopony will be mad at you.”

And there it was again, that nice, warm feeling that washed over her. Something she hadn’t felt in so long. Finally, she went for broke. “War, it’s about war,” she admitted. And there it was, the guilty feelings vanished almost immediately and she almost felt like smiling. Almost.

“You’re saying Phoenix wrote about a war? In this?” Pale asked for clarification. Diamond nodded and looked away. She really didn’t want to repeat some of the things she read in the blasted thing.

“Okay. Are you saying she… fought in it?”

“Yes…” Diamond said and bit her lip, hoping that Pale wouldn’t ask any more than that.

The mare took a very deep breath and sighed. “Okay. Diamond, did she mention anything about her parents?”

Diamond thought back and nodded, though a tiny tear dropped down just from thinking of them. “S- she said they d- died,” Diamond mumbled nervously.

It took Pale all of two minutes to respond after that, she spent that time petting Diamond which sent shivers of warm delight radiating up her spine. It felt so right and she wondered, deep down, why her parents had never bothered to do something like this with her. Was something wrong with her?

“I was afraid of that…”

“...”

“Alright, I won't ask anymore, Diamond. Why don’t we just forget about it and--”

“I can’t forget this!” Diamond practically screamed. “How can anypony say that?!”

Diamond glanced up at her with tear-streaked eyes and whimpered again. “T- that book is horrible, but it’s her life! I can’t just forget it!”

Pale sighed. “Maybe that was a bad thing to say. How about we just walk you home, okay?”

Feeling utterly exhausted, Diamond nodded and was surprised again when Pale leaned down to offer her back. With a timid smile, Diamond clambered up and hugged Pale around the chest. With Diamond’s hooves wrapped around Pale’s wings, she couldn’t fly so the duo walked off in silence. The filly drifted off into a dreamless sleep a few moments later.

Comments

[Loganic]

Yay update. Also Spitsfires parents suck.

[Cold Spike]

10568853
How do you think she turned into such a hard ass?

[toshibafox]

good news: she's getting medical attention
bad news: things aren't going to go her way when she wakes up.

[Starlight Nova]

three best friends

Who's the third?

[Cold Spike]

10568962
Always bad news... for Trouble Shoes.
Uh, I mean Phoenix.