My Little Pony: Friendship is PG-13 Season 1

by Cherry Crunch

Friendship is PG-13 Part 1

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn; the younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects, all the different types of ponies.

But as time went on, the younger sister became resentful. The ponies relished and played in the day her elder sister brought forth, but shunned and slept through her beautiful night. One fateful day, the younger unicorn refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. The elder sister tried to reason with her, but the bitterness in the young one's heart had transformed her into a wicked mare of darkness: Nightmare Moon. She vowed that she would shroud the land in eternal night. Happily, the elder sister harnessed the most powerful magic known to ponydom: the Elements of Dynamite. Using the magic of the Elements of Dynamite, she blew up her younger sister, and then put her back together and banished her permanently in the moon. The elder sister took on responsibility for both sun and moon.

“And harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since,” Twilight Sparkle read. “Hmm... Elements of Dynamite. Sounds boring.” She stood to leave the library and head home when Twinkleshine pranced up to her, blocking the exit.

“Hey, Twilight, want to go blow up the Canterlot Spa?” She asked. Twilight and the rest of their gang often indulged in blowing stuff up. They weren’t exactly friends, just allies in mischief.

“Sorry, but Celestia threatened to blow up my house if I don’t get my homework done.” Twilight explained “Elements of Dynamite or something.”

“Thats cool,” Twinkleshine said cheerfully. “Glad I’m not you.” She trotted away. Twilight trotted toward home, feeling depressed. Spa’s were always the funnest to blow up. She sighed as she entered the the giant library that was her home. She had blackmailed Celestia into giving it to her for free.

“Spike!” She called. “Do my homework for me!”

“Okay!” Spike called back, emerging from behind a shelf. Twilight had tricked the baby dragon into signing a contract making him her servant forever. She paid him minimum wage. Twilight threw the Elements of Dynamite book at Spike and went into the kitchen for food.

She picked up her walkie talkie and computer then settled down in a comfy chair in the main library. She tuned into the gang’s conversation on the walkie talkie and watched the dots on the computer signifying the location’s of the ponies.
“Twilight in,” She muttered into the walkie talkie.

“Are we in positions?” another voice muttered, probably Moondancer’s.

“Affirmative,” Twinkleshine answered.

“Blow it!”

Twilight heard an explosion and rushed to her window to see a great cloud of dust rising. She laughed evilly.

“What did your gang blow up this time?” Spike asked uninterestedly.

“Canterlot Spa,” Twilight replied.

Spike sighed. “I had an appointment there for today.”

“Too bad.” Twilight settled back into her chair. “How’s my homework going?”

“Good,” Spike said sadly. “By the way, Nightmare Moon will return from the moon during the Summer Sun Celebration and will make it night forever plus take over Equestria.”

“Great! Gang work often is easier at night.”

Suddenly Spike belched a letter. “What is it?” Twilight asked.

Spike cleared his throat and read, “Dear Twilight, because of your lazyiness I am sending you to go to Bloodville to meet a group of five ponies who will hopefully beat the guts out of you. Have fun! Your evilly, Princess Celestia. PS: You must live there forever”

Twilight ground her teeth. “Old hag.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “The carriage is waiting outside.” Twilight rose to her hooves and moved slowly toward the door.
Twilight paused and said to Spike, “Bring my homework and do it on the ride.” Spike kicked her as hard as he could and she went flying through the door with a scream, landing in the carriage on her head.

**************

Twilight strolled through Bloodville. Spike followed. It didn’t look too bad. A cute town, with old fashioned houses that looked very easy to blow up. Who could be so dangerous here? She looked at the list she had been given.

“Applejack,” She read. “A dangerously honest pony. Hm. Sweet Apple Acres.” She glanced at a tourist map nearby and took off, Spike trailing behind. Suddenly a pink pony stepped in her path, laughed evilly, and dissapeared. Twilight continued, slightly disturbed.

She arrived at Sweet Apple Acres with dread in her heart. She froze when she actually saw it. It was a farm alright—But a gruesome one indeed. Torture machine lay all about, blood on some of them. The fences were old and broken, and half the barn had fallen away, possibly crushing some cows in the process. The cows on the standing side look happy enough though. Suddenly an orange pony with a cowboy hat and an eyepatch pranced up to her.

“Howdy,” The pony greeted her jovially. “Honestly, you look like you sat in a fire for five hours, made fun of Celestia, got blown up a few times and then dumped in vat of apple jam. Good to make your acquaintance partner! I can tell we’re gonna hate each other. Lets start the war now!” Twilight looked around in bewilderment as ponies closed in around her. “This here’s the Apple family! This here’s Apple Bloom, Big Mac, Granny Smith, and I’m Applejack!”

Twilight dodged out in between Apple Bloom and Big Mac and ran.

**************
“Next on the list, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight read. “Loyal to anyone who gives her stuff.” She sighed. “Rainbow Dash!” A pegasus pony shot out of the clouds and beat her up.

“Celestia… Payed… Me… To… Beat… You… Up…” Rainbow Dash told her between attacks.

**************

“Now we’ve got Rarity,” Twilight read. “Generous in the worst way.” She looked at a tourist map and went to the boutique. They entered. A white pony (presumably Rarity) trotted up to Twilight and Spike.

“Hello darling, I’m Rarity,” she greeted her, confirming Twilight’s suspicions. “Let me give you a present. She sat on Twilight’s neck. Twilight screamed in agony.

“A pony after my own heart,” Spike sighed in admiration. “Love at first sight. Our romance shall be like that of Colteo and Mariet.”

Twilight didn’t like Rarity quite so much. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!”

“You’re welcome!”

**************

“And Fluttershy.” Twilight was barely able to move without being in great pain. “Kind.” She saw a yellow pony who had to be Fluttershy throwing leeches on animals. “Uh, hello,” Twilight greeted her uneasily.

“Hello,” Fluttershy said to her, turning. “Oh, poor dear, you look so sad. Let me be kind to you!”

“Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

**************

After going to the Bloodville hospital Twilight was strolling through Bloodville quite happily. Suddenly the same pink pony from earlier appeared in front of Twilight, laughed evilly again, and disappeared. A chill ran down Twilight’s spine. She shivered. Spike laughed. Twilight glared at him. Spike stopped laughing.

**************

That night Twilight and Spike went to the summer sun celebration. Twilight sent Spike out into the crowd to steal some money for her while they waited for Celestia to raise the sun and for Nightmare Moon to take over Equestria. Twilight made sure to stay away from the ponies she had met earlier. Suddenly Nightmare Moon appeared. Twilight gasped in excitement and joy.

“I am here to take over Equestria. Bow to me. I will bring you night. Bow.” Every pony bowed happily, most cheering. Twilight cheered the loudest. “Oh, yeah,” Nightmare Moon added. “Evil laugh.

To be continued…

Author's Note:

Hope you Enjoyed! This is my first Fanfic, so please leave a review in the comments. Stay tuned for the next installment of My Little Pony: Friendship is PG-13!

Comments

[Midnight Moon]

Moar Moar MOAR!

[KamikazeKawaii]

Elements of dynamite.
Threatened to blow up my house.
Was this made by Michael Bay?