The Catalyst

by Somber Star

The World's Indeed a Stage

The racket emanating from the nigh-forgotten orchard at the northern end of the border between the Apple and Pear orchards finally died down as a young blue-gray colt with no Cutie Mark finished torquing down a handful of bolts pinning the last wheel to his "project". With a huff of satisfaction, he released the contraption from his magic, letting the nearby corner slam into the ground with a force that would have popped said wheel right back off if he'd done a lesser job. He checked his flank with a quick glance, confirming what he already knew he'd see there: nothing new.

The object he was constructing was a monstrosity built into the hull of a junked cargo cart that could have comfortably seated a half dozen adult ponies if it had been converted to a stagecoach instead of being used for his purposes. It had taken weeks to refurbish the hull, and months to build in and calibrate all of the accessories he had chosen to add. There were fireflower launchers, a full set of miniature stage lights, including a trio of tiny spotlights; a pair of small classic theatre curtains, and even a variety of cheap but entertaining props that even a unicorn nearly absent magic like his little sister could make use of. Not that he wanted her to. Somber didn't want the little brat anywhere near his precious creation. This was a work of the mind and heart as one, not a toy for some filly so stupid she still couldn't spell her own name correctly.

With that thought in mind, the colt ascended the trio of stairs leading into the coach's cabin and prepared to test its most important elements. Taking a deep breath, he stomped on the curtained wall with a forehoof, causing its outer shell to violently collapse out and drop foldable table legs, simultaneously releasing its split inner shell to spread open wide and latch its halves into place on either side of the instant makeshift stage. Judging by the much louder sound this action made than any of his work up to this point, Somber was pretty confident that he'd successfully made an acoustic amplifier for it.

Trotting out onto said stage, the colt heard his hoofsteps pounding around on it and practiced walking so that he couldn't. Once that was accomplished, he did something that he would only ever do at the height of his confidence that nopony was near enough to know about: he began to sing. He paused, listening to how his voice sounded and trying to adjust as he went until it "rang true" in his own ears. This was obviously difficult given how near he was to puberty. His voice kept cracking in an embarrassing manner that made him glad he was so far away from anypony else. He didn't get past the third line before he was interrupted by one of several things he'd come all the way out here to avoid.

"Somber!" a familiar assault on the eardrums clawed at him from the distance. "SOMBER! Where are you, stupid-face?"

The colt closed his eyes and took a deep breath, in what was functionally the opposite of a sigh but still served the same purpose. He should have known better than to even think of Trixie. That alone almost reliably seemed enough to summon the little demon from whatever pit of Tartarus she had carved out for herself. He considered ignoring her.

"SOMBER! MOM'S LOOKING FOR YOU! She says you have more STUDYING to do!" her voice, raucous and shrill enough to offend a raven, was getting louder with every word.

But that wasn't what chilled his blood enough to wonder if this was a possible route to hypothermia. He gauged where Trixie might be by the sound and direction of her voice, and teleported to that spot. A distinctive and familiar shriek from just out of reach informed him that he had guessed correctly.

"Don't do that, you jerk! You KNOW I hate it when you sneak up on me!" Trixie bellowed at maximum pitch and volume into his face.

"I didn't sneak up on you, I teleported here. Anyway, you know I hate it when you scream at me, but that never stops you." Somber snapped back, rubbing his right ear with the corresponding hoof.

"Well then you shouldn't make me come looking for you!" Trixie screamed at him as he passed by her in the direction of home. "When I tell Mom how far away from home you got, you're gonna be in BIG trouble, Mister!"

As if on cue, a jade amulet Somber didn't notice Trixie had been wearing shimmered, and there was a brilliant flash a couple meters away from them. The air filling the spherical core of said flash blasted away from it as though its molecules were instantly terrified of the pending newcomer, and a fraction of a second later, the core was gone. In place of the sudden blinding light was the mare whose presence he was certain was always heralded by a clap of thunder: Abacus Cinch. The one who called herself their mother.

"Well done, Trixie. It appears that you are good for something, after all." Abacus quipped, and the filly preened, oblivious to the notion that what had been said to her might not actually be flattering. "As for you, young stallion..."

Somber just barely resisted the urge to make the cliched gagging noise as the mare's starfield caught him by the throat and dragged him to within reach of her forehooves, whereupon she immediately struck him across the face with her right one. Abacus towered over her adopted son like a menacing ursa. She only meant to hit him once, but when her vision cleared, her starfield was holding him up as much as his own hooves, if not more. She released his throat and grabbed his horn instead.

"You worried me half to death!" She bellowed at Somber, incensed at how he still wasn't focused on her. "Stop being melodramatic and listen to me you little bastard! You need to know what your punishment is going to be for running off and troubling these nice Earth Ponies by tearing up their trees like you did! You're almost half Earth Pony yourself, you know! You should be showing more respect for your heritage! Where was I? Oh yes. You will be making copies of the Encyclopedia Equestria anthology, in print and in calligraphy, and while you're at it you're going to learn about PROOFREADING. Flori's very dear to my heart, but the poor mare can't write to save her life. Don't tell her I said that, or there will be consequences. Trixie!"

"Yeah, what?" the filly responded in a tone that Somber was pretty sure would get him literally murdered.

"We're going home now. What do you want for dinner?" Mrs. Cinch was significantly less worried about Trixie knowing any secrets, since she was sure her adopted daughter had a mind like a sieve.

"Ice cream pie!" Trixie cheered, earning a sigh and head-shake from Abacus.

"That's dessert, Sweetheart. Come on, let's go." Abacus commanded as though either foal had a choice, since she teleported the three of them back home with marginally less fanfare than she'd arrived with.

* * *

Hitherto unnoticed, Fluttershy had been stalking Somber since he had passed the cottage she'd taken refuge in since her decision to stay on the ground. She couldn't believe what she'd just seen and heard. Up until it finally happened, she thought it'd be great to meet somepony who knew what it was like to have her level of family troubles. Now that it had, though, she couldn't help but feel like she'd wished this misery into existence. It was such an awful feeling, but at least there was a convenient way she could cheer herself up now. She fluttered her wings, lifting herself off the ground and landing on the stage. There, she started to sing the rest of his song.

"Love is just a camouflage, for what resembles rage... again...