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by Sleestack

A Feast

The Castle was large. He knew it was going to be large, of course, but he couldn’t have possibly prepared himself for how small it made him feel.The ceilings reached so high he wondered if the Castle had an atmosphere. But he discarded the question. Even though it was probably possible in this world, the writers probably wouldn’t have thought of such a thing, because the kids in the audience probably don’t even know what an atmosphere is, or how it works.

The walls were lined with stained glass windows. Of course. He didn’t expect anything else. Royalty meant having stained glass windows. That was going to be the first thing he asked the princess. Why she felt the need to have stained glass windows. No, he was going to compliment her on them first. He would say, ‘Those are some lovely stained glass windows you got there. Why do you have them?' That would throw her off. If she was mad, something like that would stop her from being mad for a second. Then he would ask about why she had summoned the two of them, and she would be so delighted someone gave her a compliment that she wouldn’t be upset that he was being so upfront. Cause being royalty and all, she probably never received any real, genuine compliments, but only the ones that people would give her to get in her good graces. Although, isn’t that exactly what he was trying to do himself?

“You know, not many ponies get invited in here by the Princess herself. We’re really lucky.” Rose said, her eyes wandering all over the room, taking it all in.

“That is, unless we’re in some kind of trouble.” Trip responded, nervously looking into the ground. “That wouldn’t be good. Not at all. Cause I mean, like, we might have been framed for something. It was probably Stickler. Yeah, he did this. That guy’s no good. I could tell when I first saw him. Aw, sh-, why did I ever think it was a good idea to go with him anywhere?” He started pacing, muttering to himself.

Rose furrowed her brow and walked in front of him. “Trip, are you okay? You’re rambling.”

He bumped into her. “What?” His eyes drilled into hers, nervous, as the rest of his body shivered. “Rambling? That’s not... Are you sure it’s rambling? Sometimes I just talk kinda fast when I get nervous. And why shouldn’t I be nervous? We’re gonna talk to the f- princess! And what happens if I make a bad impression? I could be... I don’t know, exiled or something. Do they do exilings here?”

“Trip, it’s going to be fine.” She used her forelimbs to try and calm him down. “Celestia wanted us comfortable. If we were being punished for something, I don’t think she’d care about that kind of thing.”

“Yeah, well, where I come from, we have this thing called ‘last meals’.” He said, backing away from her comforting gesture. “And also, if we aren't being punished, what reason would she possibly have for bringing us here?”

She considered this for a moment. “My mind keeps going back to the three we met at the forest. I feel like Stickler just isn’t the most trustworthy of ponies.” She looked at Trip, who was slowly curling in on himself as he stood. “Trip, I really don’t think you’re okay.”

He stared at her as he started rocking back and forth. “I don’t think so either. It’s been... how long? Two days since...?”

“Since what?” Rose asked, confused.

He bit his lip and looked down. “It was the train!” he blurted out. “It wasn’t the conductor that looked in our car at the train, it was one of the guards!” He looked back up at her. She was startled, not by the confession itself, but by the suddenness of it. “I lied to you because I had no idea what he was doing there. So I didn’t want to worry you about it. I'm sorry. I’m so sorry. This is all because of me. This is all my fault.” His head started shaking.

“I... what?” she asked, baffled. “You mean we’ve been followed since we’ve been on the train?” she asked.

He nodded.

She opened her mouth, trying to find something to say in response, but she couldn’t. She just sat there, giving him an unbelieving look.

“If you’re mad, I understand. I lied to you. I’ve been-”

“But you don’t know why he followed you?”

“-lying... what?” he stopped. “I... no, I really don’t.”

“Hmm. That is strange.” she said, casually, but still somewhat confused.

“You’re not concerned with the fact that I lied to you?” Trip yelled, putting his front legs up.

“Well, you lied to me about the guard, which I guess I’m a little upset about, but you already told me you haven’t done anything bad. And I trust you on that.”

Trip lowered his forelimbs to the ground in defeat. “Really?”

“Yes. Really. I know now you’re mean, but not evil. I don’t think you could commit any type of serious crime.” she smiled.

“Uh, thanks... I guess. That’s a compliment I don’t think I’ve ever gotten before. If that is a compliment. You know what? I’m just going to-”

“Excuse me?” came a voice from across the room. They looked at the source of the voice, yet another guard. “Your presence is requested in The Royal Dining Room.”

“The... what?” Trip asked, confused.

“Why the dining room?” Rose followed.

“Princess Celestia says she won’t discuss matters with her two guests until they’ve received a proper meal.”

“A proper meal?” Trip asked, almost offended. “Does she think we’re homeless or something? It’s not like we’ve been eating scraps.”

“Actually,” the guard replied, somewhat matter-of-factly. “She claims that you haven’t eaten anything.”

He became amazed. “How the h- does she know that?”

“Well, it is true about you, Trip.” Rose admitted. “You haven’t eaten anything since I first met you.”

“Yeah, and another thing,” Trip continued. “You’ve told her our names, right? Just to let her know we’re not nobodies? I’m Philip Stern, my friends call me Trip. You can call me Phil, cause we’re only casual acquaintances at this point. But I’ll let you know when it’s cool for you to call me Trip. I just gotta get a level of comfort before I can-”

“And I’m Rose Entrance.” she interrupted, pleasantly. “You can call me Rose.”

“Yes,” said the guard, a little flustered by the verbal attack that had just been inflicted on him.. “I’ll let her know your names as soon as I can, if she doesn’t already know them. But for now, if you could please follow me into The Royal Dining room.”

Trip had never seen so much green in one place. There was a table, which could have easily seated upwards of fifty people, or ponies, rather, and almost the entirety of it was filled with various fruits and vegetables, from carrots to cantaloupe, from broccoli to bananas, and even fruits he wasn’t sure actually existed or not. One particular delectable that drew his eye was what seemed to be a pineapple that had what appeared to be octopus tentacles sprouting from the bottom of it.

But as soon as Trip saw that particular... fruit? He realized, there wasn’t a single scrap of meat on the table.

Of course there isn’t, he thought, horses are herbivores. They can’t digest meat, or something. It’s like a sin to them. If anyone tries to cook or prepare something like chicken, they’d be regarded as a monster, and everyone would go to their house in the middle of the night and they’d string him and walk him to the town center, everyone cheering ‘Behead the Chicken Killer!’, and by the time they got there, they’d...

“Wow! That’s a lot of food!” said Rose, interrupting his thought process. “Does she expect us to eat all of it?” she asked the guard.

“Her direct orders were for you to eat as much as you’d like, or until you don’t feel hungry anymore.”

“Why?” Trip asked. “She just throws to random strangers a feast? Aren’t there more important matters to worry about? Like the Chicken Killer?”

“The... who?” asked the guard, shocked.

“Oh. Nothing. It’s an inside joke where I come from. But seriously, why is she doing this for us? Is the food poisoned? Or is there one poisoned item on this table, and she’s just testing to see if fate is on our side today?”

The guard stared at him, probably wondering why he was assigned to take care of this basket case. “Her reasoning was something along the lines of...’Growing ponies are more reasonable and well tempered on a full stomach then when they’re hungry,’ or something similar.”

“How does she know so much about us?” Trip asked.

“She knew you’d ask that. She said she’d answer any questions after you’ve eaten something.”

“Well, okay then.” said Rose, as she walked up to the table and immediately sat in one of the chairs. “Hmm... I wonder if they have... yes!” she reached into the center of the table and picked up a small bowl, filled with lettuce, tomatoes, and other various salad ingredients. “This is exactly what I was looking for!” she proceeded to grab a fork and chow down into the leafy concoction.

“Please, feel free to have anything on the table.” said the guard as he walked out. “I’ll check back with you two a few minutes.”

“Trip, you should really try some of this salad. It’s amazing.” Rose managed to say with a mouth full of lettuce.

“I’m... not really hungry.”

She swallowed the green leaves and gave him the most thoroughly unconvinced look she had managed to give him yet. “Okay, first off, I know that’s a lie. I’ve never heard of anypony who could go two days without eating and not even be a little hungry. And secondly, don’t you think it’d be rude to not eat something? If you’re so worried about getting on the Princess’s bad side, I would be a gracious guest. I hear she likes banishing ponies who are rude guests.”

Trip looked at her with wide eyes. “Please don’t tell me that right now.” he said, as he pulled a chair and sat down.

“Trip, I’m joking. You’re not the only one who can make jokes.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He looked directly in front of him and saw a bowl of carrots. “I... I guess I’ll have some of these.” He dragged the bowl towards him and stared at it. The little orange sticks sat there idly, mocking him with their perfect shading and lack of texture.

[at us, Trip. He could imagine them saying. We’re perfect food for ponies. So that means we’re perfect for you.

But I’m not a pony, he thought back. I’m a human. I’m just... kind of in between species right now.
Yeah, sure. Take a bite of us and see if you still think that. Once you give in to pony food, who knows what other facets of their lifestyle you’ll adapt to?

No, you’re just carrots. I’ve eaten carrots before. Nothing’s wrong with carrots.

But we are carrots grown by them. Maybe they have better vegetable growers than humans. Take a bite, find out for yourself.

I will.

Go ahead.

Watch me.

We’re waiting.

Trip, what are you doing?

He looked up. That last one definitely didn’t take place in his head. Rose had finished her salad bowl, and was now beginning work on a basket full of apples. She was currently holding one, and giving Trip a confused look. “Are you talking to the carrots?”

“What? No, carrots can’t talk, Rose.” he waved his hoof-hand at her, dismissing the notion.

“No, they can’t, but you seem to be trying to get them to. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m not trying to talk to carrots. That’s absurd.”

“Okay, if you insist.” She giggled and resumed eating her apple.

He picked a single orange stick and stared at it. Alright, just you me now, carrot. He dropped his bottom jaw and slowly brought it to his mouth. As he was doing this, he immediately wished he hadn’t placed himself in front of a bowl of food so phallic. But he continued anyway. He slid the carrot between his front teeth and brought his jaw down on it, hard. Half to make sure he could bite through the carrot with his relatively new mouth, half out of revenge against it.

The job was half done now. Now he need to chew it and swallow. Tasting was an option, too. But as hard as he tried, he couldn’t mash the carrot into a swallowable paste. The teeth in the front of his mouth could only chop them up. How did ponies deal with this?

He turned to Rose, about to ask her how to chew his food. He stopped, because he had a suspicion she would only criticize him for talking with his mouth full. So he just watched her as she chewed. He noticed that while he would only use the front part of his mouth, she would use the back, like a human would. That meant...

He mimicked her motion. He had a back set of teeth! Why hadn’t he noticed before? Using his tongue, he slid the chopped carrot bits to the back of his mouth, right where he felt his teeth. As he did, he sensed the taste of the carrots.

Just like human carrots. Maybe a little sweeter. But not necessarily better.

He used his tongue to move the mashed carrot to the back of his throat, and let it slide down his esophagus. As it slid down, he guided it along with his muscles. It hit his stomach, and immediately, he realized how hungry he really was.

He chomped down the rest of the carrot and grabbed another few. Before he realized it, he had devoured the entire bowl in a matter of seconds. He wasn’t satisfied. He reached to the next container closest to him. Mushrooms. He had never had plain mushrooms before. But he liked them on pizza, so they must be good by themselves, right? Not requiring as much chewing, he gulped down six instantly.

He wanted more. He hadn’t eaten in almost three days and he had just began to feel it. Within minutes, he had consumed a whole plate of corn, several stalks of broccoli and asparagus, two entire bunches of grapes, three tomatoes, two pears, and what he assumed was the cut up entirety of a watermelon.

“I guess you really were hungry, huh?” came a voice from beside him. Rose was staring at him, just barely having finished her basket of apples, with only one or two left.

“Yeah... I guess I was.” Trip said, holding back a belch. Which was odd, because usually only soda ever made him burp.

“Are you full? I don’t think I’ve ever seen somepony eat as much as you have that quickly as that!”

He looked down at her basket, and the few apples that remained in it. “Are you gonna finish those?” he asked, politely.

Comments

[skyscraper123]

Lol

[MrSpartan]

Carrots are the devil's food!