Sometimes it's good to be broken.

by Lord Sabre

Life goes on...

Despite the fact we've been accepted, we still don't really fit in. Well, we suppose we can't really blame them, can we? What we mean is that welcoming anything out of the ordinary isn't the easiest thing to do and yet we're still left wanting. If only we could just fit in.

Hello, we're Issac and we live in Ponyville but we're not your conventional everyday pony, in fact it would be more accurate to label ourself ponies but we won't bother with correct grammatical structures as we don't particularly think it applies in our case to be perfectly honest. Would you if you were practically schizophrenic? Didn't think so. We've been living here for three months, or at least Issac has, can't say the same for the rest of them...of us...of me. Adjusting to the pony style of life was a lot easier than we would have first thought, still hard with the backwash of faded human memories that puncture our brains but it was made a lot easier as the majority of the memories consisted of a pony life, technically several lives. No, being a pony is fine, a piece of hay cake, being broken isn't. We wouldn't have chosen this life out of choice but we can never leave, too hard, too treacherous, so a pony we will stay.

We've been living in Spark Plugs' old house, or current, depending on which way you look at it. But it doesn't feel right, hollow somehow, as if there's a hole in our chest that refuses to heal. It's not hard to guess why, even a complete hay-brain could guess. We're only satisfying part of out broken little mind but we can't really help that. However, there is one way we know how to cheer up our entirety, we'll go visit Dare Devil. At least there we're on common ground, we all like Dare, we see him as dad, well to three quarters of us he was and that last quarter just really liked him, so that's always nice.

“Issac!” Dare Devil was calling at us, even if we visited him frequently we knew he missed Dusk, Dawn and Dyvin so when he could enjoy an echo of their company we would. We would have smiled but all of a sudden we were extremely self conscious, ponies were turning they're heads in curiosity to inspect us as we approached. We looked toward the puffy white clouds beneath us, trying desperately to escape from the attention.

“Issac!” he repeated when we didn't respond the first time. We gritted our teeth, resisting the urge to just take off and flee. When we reached him we stood silently and awkwardly as no response made it's way through our lips. Eventually he broke the silence sensing we had taken a turn.

“Well where shall we go today then?” he was trying desperately to fill the void but it seemed like a decent question. We were about to answer with a shrug but instead we snapped to attention, basking in the fresh attention.

“Well, we could go down to Ponyville and go to sugar cube corner, hows that?” We asked, we really actually wanted to go to sugar cube corner as we had a burning desire to go see Pinkie Pie, one of the few that we could consider as our friend. We cocked our head to the side childishly, taping our hoof in a false act of impatience. He seemed glad to have more enthusiasm to work with.

“Sounds good, haven't seen Pinkie in a while.” he grinned and we glided down. Fellow pegasi still gawked sometimes at our wings, they didn't look like they should work, just as incomplete as the rest of us. Actually from time to time ponies stared at us as our appearance was not quite the norm, nor was it the hight of fashion. We have a snout length, slick black mane and a short tail of the same colour. We have a pastel, pale green coat and dark hazel nut eyes. Our wings are the distinguishing feature though. Where our feathers should leave our torso there is only a foreign, strong material, almost like bone. As a scientist we can safely say that we are unaware of any substance that has been openly identified...Oh...we confused us...hmm...we guess too many big words.

“Ha ha!” Dares' sudden outburst startled us, he's looking at us, smirking.

“What?!” We were slightly annoyed as it was clear he was laughing at us not with us as we were clearly not laughing. Laughing at people isn't very nice in our book.

Still smirking, he said; “You look like you just confused yourself.” he was bang on target but that irritated us, we'd forgotten how well he knew us. We frown but quickly move on as we've almost reached Sugar-Cube corner. We land and trot down the dusty lane, bidding good morning to every pony passing by. We eventually round the corner and Mr and Mrs Cakes' shop presents it's self before us. Before we can even mount the steps leading to the front door Pinkie bounds out and attacks (metaphorically of course)

“Dare Devil! Issac! Heya Guys, what'cha doing here? I mean I'm really happy you're both here and I would be happy if it was just one of you but I'm also really glad both of you are here because you're my friends! But even if you weren't my friends, which would never happen, but even if you weren't I'd be happy!” ...Umm, that was...nice? We should have remembered that Pinkie was so,so,over bearing. We shrug it off, should be used to it by now.

“Hi Pinkie!” Dare says, eyeing us as if he's thinking the same thing.

“Come on! Issac, Mrs Cake is having trouble with the mixer!” And off she went. We grinned at the prospect of having something to do as well as helping out Mrs Cake.

“Oh Issac! Just the pony I need, the mixer doesn't seem to be working again” She frowned, creasing her baby blue forehead.

“Sure thing Mrs Cake” We trotted over to the work-surfer were sure enough there was the mixer. As We dismantled the mixer Dare, Pinkie, Mrs Cake and Mr Cake chatted, just the usual, mundane gossip, but not harsh, no they were just catching each other up on what every pony was up to. Just as we were re-wiring the main circuit we felt something brush up against our hind legs and then the whisk next too me started to glow blue and floated in mid-air. We glanced down and Pumpkin Cake was sat down on the floor to our right, we turned our neck behind us and Pound Cake was flapping crazily there.

“Oh you two, stop bothering Issac” Mrs Cake sounded exasperated, well we wouldn't personally know how exhausting having twins is, actually we'd pretty worried if we did. We know how it feels to have twin siblings but that's different, Dare dealt with them/us for the most part.

“It's okay Mrs Cake, we don't mind” we grinned and when no response came we realized what had happened; 'It's okay Mrs Cake, we don't mind' You can't really blame us though, it's the natural thing to say or think to us but not every pony was used to it quite yet.
“Sorry” We mumbled looking back to the now working mixer. We have a teaching day tomorrow so we should go and plan the lesson, also we think leaving at this point is probably the best thing to do at the moment.
“The mixer's working,” we say switching it on as we did,”and we-I have a teaching day tomorrow so I should go.” and we trotted out before any pony could stop us. We'll be more careful around Mr and Mrs Cake, we don't spend enough time around them for them to acclimatize to our ways.
“Hey Issac!” Dare called behind us. Our teeth gritted together, rolling our eyes with the motion. Spark's old house (our current house) isn't that far a canter from here, even less if we fly.

“Issac! Come on, we have time to stay for a while longer.” his voice was desperate, he only spends a small amount with us and every second counts. We can't stand hurting Dare, a father figure, a friend, a pony that understands and accepts. We turn and Dare shoots past us, kicking dust up in our face, didn't realize we were cantering. At the end of the lane Dare realizes what he's done and in an extremely comical way he looks left and right before back-tracking.

“Sorry Dare Devil, it's just we can't help it and when ponies openly show that they don't accept it or can't accept us-me! Of course we know we completely understand that we over-reacted but if you think about it then how would you have coped with it! We know Mrs Cake didn't mean anything by it but we just-!”

“Whoa there horsey, don't do a Pinkie on me, I've only just escaped.” he was clearly trying to make it a joke to make us feel less bad, it didn't work.

“Sorry, we really just want to go home now.” we said already half turned away from him. It's true though, all we really want is to go home, forget the whole day and have a comfort cookie.

“Well okay I suppose, I'll see you tomorrow though right?” he honestly seemed to doubt if we would let him see us, which was of course that was ridiculous, it would be impractical to not see him. That's not the only reason we see him though, no that would be far too selfish, just thinking of the practicalities of spending time with Dare, no we see him because we want to, we enjoy spending time with him, you'd have to be insane not to like him.

“Yes, but after school remember, we're teaching tomorrow.” We actually felt a little cheered up now, the classic Dare-effect, maybe we could bottle him up and sell it, we'd be rich by summer. He let us go with a simple goodbye because it was obvious that he wanted to go see Pinkie despite the jab he made earlier, he meant nothing by it though, we knew that. When we got home the plan was that we'd curl up by the fire with a good book. Well it was a good idea at the time but by the time we'd spent the good part of an hour searching through our own personal little library we'd had a shift and now all we wanted to do was go out and do something, anything! How inconvenient. But instead of treating ourselves and being lenient we decided that our behaviour earlier today was inappropriate and quite unforgivable so we effectively punished ourselves and went to bed early.

When we woke up it took a couple of seconds to orient ourselves and then we realized what time it was, where we were, what day it was- “Oh SON OF CELESTIA!” 8:00, no lesson planned, science first period, school starts at 8:15, takes twenty minutes to get over to the school building. Doomed. Panicked, dirty and disorganised we flew out the house, a tie hanging undone from our neck flapping in the breeze, and shot to the school, the occasional paper falling from the pile between our teeth. Just as we arrived the bell for class rang and the fillies were slowly filing in. Heavily panting and dripping with perspiration we glided above their heads in a casual manner, trying to make up for our less than appealing appearance.

“Good morning class.” we said in a chirpy voice and apart from a few giggles here and there it was mostly a positive reply of “Good morning sir!” and there was even some apples on my desk. Maybe this morning wont be as arduous as previously thought.

“Okay, let's get started! We-I want you to get into partners.” there's no point in deliberately setting ourselves up as a target for idle target. As suspected there was one filly with no partner but we quickly filled them in with their wanted group of friends. It was strange, when we saw this inconsequential little filly smile and nod thanks to us as we placed her with her friends, we got an odd sense of pleasure by helping her out and it took us a few moments to realize that this was because we could relate to her, the feeling of being singled out, made to seem weird and alone, no one wants you, in helping this little filly we could imagine someone doing the same for us and it was comforting, gave us hope... Wow, never had an epiphany before, and that whole monologue just from one little filly...we need to get out more.

“Okay, now that every pony is sorted I'll tell you what we're doing today!” okay, so we have to admit, we may be over doing the normal a bit but at least we're getting the message across. “Today we will be doing unique experiments,” we must try to remember that these are very young ponies and they may not understand my superior use of intellectual vocabulary. “that means that we will be doing experiments that no pony has ever done before, exciting stuff huh?!”...we could almost see the tumble weed.

“Excuse me sir! But if there experiments no pony has ever done then how do you know what we will be doing?”

“Smart flank” we murmured under our breath and rolled our eyes, “Because each group will be given a set of different chemicals to use and in different sequences therefore creating a unique reaction.” let's see what miss-I-know-all can make of that!

“Yeah but just because each group gets different chemicals to use and they'll use them in a different sequence doesn't guarantee a substance that scientist haven't already discovered.”

“You're adopted, no pony loves you.” we muttered.

“Pardon sir?” her voice was so smug and patronising we nearly chucked hydrofluoric acid in her face.

“Name?” she looked confused and we let out an exasperated sigh, “What is your name?” we shook our head, insulted slightly by her apparent lack of intelligence.

“Diamond Tiara” she sounded so proud of the fact she had a name that would better suit something that had actual beauty or promise, instead that name fell hairs widths short of a troll.

“Well Diamond Tiara,” we slurred her name like a small filly making fun of it, “Since you've taken such an interest in it, we would like to see a 10,000 word essay on every aspect of science on this desk tomorrow morning, you can express your never ending pit of knowledge of science in that.” now we were the one's smiling smugly, her face was priceless, transforming from a smug little brat into a horrified pixie (although a pixie would be more appealing) in the blink of an eye, or in her case, the blink of twelve eyes.

“Wha-!” oh so we've given her this generous opportunity to blossom her knowledge and now she's protesting, how very ungrateful! We looked down at the rolled up newspaper lying on the desk and temptation took the better of us and smirking we casually took it in our wing and left it there. We can use that later on Diamond Tiara.

The lesson went according to plan with almost no hiccups, we say almost as it was inevitable that there would be at least one mistake, it being us and all. But it wasn't fatal! So at least that's comforting.

When the hour was almost over we called the class to be dismissed early, except Diamond Tiara of course.

“Diamond Tiara, you can stay and clean up.” the look she replied with was like gold dust, but not so dazzling.

“I've got nothing to clean with!” her tone was quite rude but just before we gave her a good telling off we remembered the rolled up newspaper tucked under our wing, everypony were still gathering their things so this was as good a time as any.

“Well here you go.” then we chucked it full pelt straight at her face, knocking her tiara off as it went and everypony burst out laughing and Diamond Tiara stomped out screeching at the top of her lungs. Silver Spoon followed swiftly after her with the same horrified expression, but anypony could tell the expression didn't belong to Silver but to Diamond as Silver was simply copying her. It saddened us to see her getting caught up into the little brats world of insanity and pettiness but there isn't any thing we can do about it, and frankly we couldn't be arsed to. Once everypony was gone we started packing up our things when sure enough Dare was stood in the door way.

“Is there a reason why Diamond Tiara is swearing that you assaulted her and you should be sacked?” it was an honest enough question so it deserved an honest answer.

“Because we assaulted her and are probably going to get sacked.” Dare shook his head and chuckled.

“What did you do, chuck a newspaper at her head!” it was clearly a rhetorical question but he was obviously trying to comfort us as that must have been the worst possible thing we could have done...and did ,so we told the truth yet again.

“Yes.” we watched his expressions changing, first it was shock, then amusement and then... no, he settled for amusement so at least we were on common ground there.

We went down to Jay Dodges' shop for some hay cakes and tea. We hadn't been there in a while, in fact the last time we remember was before the transformation, when we were still split. Actually that's one of the stronger memories as all four of us (excluding Dare) went; Dusk, Dyvin, Dawn and Spark Plug. Us. We don't make a habit of revisiting old memories, friends being the exception to that rule, who likes repeats any way?

“Afternoon Jay Dodge, hows business been?”

“Oh hello there Dare, Issac! Well it's been quite slow today as everyponies been down at Sugar Cube corner, what with that spanking new cake of theirs.” Jay was louder than needed as per usual and his crazy afro was coming loose out the twist on his neck but it was his words that sparked our interest.

“What new cake? It's the first we've heard any thing about it.” we stepped forward as we said it, like a detective does when they're investigating something and some pony has information that is vital to the case...or so we assume, it's not like we've read Sherlock Horse four hundred and ninety-six times...

“Oh you know, the super-dupe-extra-extra-topity-top-secret one that Pinkie was telling everypony about this morning, it's all she would talk about!”

We had absolutely no idea what in Celestia he was talking about. We frowned and looked at Dare for some kind of translation but his face just masked what was on ours.

“I'm guessing you didn't hear any thing about it in Cloudsdale then?” he shook his head confirming that suspicion. We suddenly felt awfully self conscious, every pony knew about this knew cake but we didn't, like it was some kind of prank on us, keeping us out of the know. We looked down trying to conceal our now bright red face from further humiliation but Jays' next words were the exact ones we didn't want to hear.

“Hey, maybe we should go take a look, I can shut up early and we can head down.” oh if only he had shut up early, earlier before he said that!

No, we realize we're just making a big fuss over nothing, and besides, our curiosity needs satisfying now. So we headed down to Sugar Cube corner but before we could even see the building we hit a solid wall that wasn't there this morning, it wasn't brick though, it was ponies.

“Whoa, the whole of Ponyville must be here!” and we think Dare's right, the mass congregation stretches right to inside the shop. It was very much like when the apple family sell their cider except at least everyponies in a queue then, and a lot less noisy!

“Why all the fuss over a piece of cake?” we ask, “That has to be one tasty cake or a lot of Neighamine!” we all laugh at our little joke and even a few of the wall-ponies break a smile. Even though we knew it was a joke, there is no way there could be Neighamine in the cake, it's completely outlawed, we're the only pony in town with it and that's for purely scientific reasons and maybe the occasional depressive moment...that was a joke.

“I don't care how good that cake is, I'm not waiting a millennia for a slice, see you guys tomorrow.”
Dare was right, the cake can't be that tasty, every pony is probably just excited at Pinkies over exaggeration,

“Yeah, we're heading home too, see ya Jay” we would have said bye to Dare too but he'd already taken flight and left. It was too early to go to bed but we didn't care, what we did care about were the dreams.

At first we couldn't make any thing out, it was all alien yet strangely familiar. We were wandering down some sort of street but it was deserted, of ponies at least because there were other things, bears maybe, but they weren't hairy enough to be bears, some had the faces right but otherwise bald. We didn't know where we were going until we went into a block of apartments and came to a room. Inside it was full of the non-bears and with distasteful music with the lighting pulsing to it's beat. That's when we realized who, or rather what we were. Human.

We woke with a start. Not surprising really considering the circumstances. Human. It's been three months since we've even thought of them so why now? Maybe the congregation outside Mr and Mrs Cakes triggered off some memories, except it would have to be subconscious as we didn't feel or remember any thing at the time but that was still a long shot. We'd thought we were getting better, slowly fixing our broken minds, but clearly we were wrong. Or that could be it, that we were slowly begging to function normally could have set it off, maybe we're not allowed to be fixed, maybe we have to stay broken. Great. Just what we need right now.

When we opened our eyes everything looked different, it was as if some pony had taken off our rose tinted glasses. Everything looked sharper, harsher, more human. We became paranoid, even the slightest noise would make us jump and feel the need to flee.

But we needed to go see Twilight. We'd been planning this meeting for months and it was vital that we didn't miss it, no matter what state we are in. We went through the motions of getting ready which took a considerable amount longer as every thirty seconds we snapped our head around to check there was no mysterious figure looming over us, but eventually we got it together enough to leave the house.

Several ponies bid us good morning but we just drifted past, eyes darting to every corner. When we made it to the library we almost turned around and leave. No, this is too important Issac, this is the turning point, make or break, could change our life, do you really want to ruin our chances just because you had a dream? That's pathetic and you know it.

Yes, yes it is pathetic, we do realize that but, but the fear is too deep to dislodge, we can't ignore it...but maybe just maybe we can tolerate it, just for the next few hours.

Our little pep talk must have worked because next thing we know we're knocking on the door and waiting for a reply.

“Spike! Spike! Get up and answer the door, it's important!” we could hear Twilight shouting through the thick wooden door, she must be pretty loud. “Spike! Did you even hear me!?” on a normal day we would of laughed at how lazy Spike is or how stressed out Twilight was but we didn't even crack a smile, instead our short-lived courage sank like a stone to the bottom of our stomach. And when the door opened to reveal a demented looking Twilight we could almost hear it smash to the floor.

“Issac! Good, you're a little late though.” she couldn't see the torture, the terror in our eyes? We must be a better actor then we thought though we'd have to be amazing to cover this up and even we aren't quite that good. “Issac?” she looked at us expectantly standing in the centre of the library. “You okay?” oh so now she asks but there was no emotion left in us to get annoyed at her. Our eyes surveyed the room, registering all the nooks and cranny’s for ponies or humans too hide in. Cautiously we stepped into the centre ring of the giant tree and continued searching the room.

“Okay.” she said it like a question, not a reply. She probed us with her eyes, concerned and curious. When we still hadn't answered she shuffled a bit, showing she felt awkward. “Umm, well I guess we should start then!” she said smiling up at us, trying, and failing, to remove the awkwardness. She padded over to her desk which had a large pile of parchment with an ink well and quill lying next to it. There was probably a check list on the desk knowing Twilight and she most likely had all the questions she was about to bombard us with written down. We were right.

“Right, so...Issac...?” she was looking at us expectantly so we just sighed and decided to play along.

“Yes?” granted, we may have laid the sarcasm on a tad thick but we aren't exactly in a singing and dancing mood.

“Can you remember being separate?” she knew the answer to this, yes, of course we can, we remember all four lives and to be honest it makes us feel a hay of a lot older than we actually are. But we figure Twilight doesn't need an essay for an answer.

“...Yes.” she nodded thoughtfully before a purple aura surrounded the quill, lifting it into the air, dunking it into the ink well and then etching our one word onto the parchment.

“Not particularly verbose today are you... anything else to add?” hmm two big words, Twilight. We took a moment to think, do we have anything to add?...Nope.
“...No” despite our mood we did take a bit of pleasure in irritating Twilight, we mean, it's not like we don't like Twilight but irritating any of your friends can be amusing.

And her inquisition carried on like that, with her asking elaborately phrased questions and us replying with yes or no. Two or three hours passed until she finally completed her interrogation,

“Thanks Issac, this will make some really interesting reading!” well, we're glad we could entertain you.

“It's fine.” a two word reply, Twilight should be honoured.

“Are you sure you're okay Issac, you seem...I don't know, distant?” well technically we never said we were all right but we understand where Twilight is coming from. It would probably be more productive if we lied and said that we were however we don't want to worry her. We decide on the latter.

“No, we're fine Twilight, just tired if anything.” we were aiming for reassuring but it just sounded creepy in reality. We grinned at her to try and seem more relaxed but we think it just seemed weird, great.

“Oh, umm okay, if you're sure.” she sure didn't, that's for certain. We decided then that we'd had enough social interaction for the day and wanted to just get home...home...we'd forgotten that we were still divided over home...we guess we'll just use the word house then, that's safer because it holds no sentimental meaning. We made our escape then, heading toward the house cutting through back alleys and gardens to avoid any unnecessary interaction. But about halfway to the house we felt the lack of attention was annoying and so we made our way back to the main street. These sudden character changes always irritate us as one second we can be centre of attention and loving it and then incredibly shy and want to leave straight away or all logical one moment and mess everything up the next. Many ponies were out and about going about their business we got the attention we craved for with no exertion. We were polite and bid good afternoon to everypony and for at least a little while forgot our troubles.

When we made it back to the house we had nothing to preoccupy ourselves with and no plan for the rest of the day. We aren't seeing Dare today and though that depresses us slightly we know we cannot spend every waking moment with him as he has a life outside us. So instead we decide that we should just sit down and read a good book. A couple of day's ago we got “Scientific discoveries over the celestial reign” out of the library and it seemed decent enough to waste an afternoon on.

As we slowly start to regain consciousness it becomes evident that the book obviously sufficed as we could tell it was no longer the afternoon and night had fallen over Ponyville. Our stomach growled reminding us that we haven't eaten since yesterday night as we were too shaken to eat breakfast. We were ravenous. We stretched, stiff from not moving for hours on end and padded over to the kitchen to find something to eat. We opened the cupboards and started browsing but then there was a knock at the door. We frowned as we glanced at the clock, it was quarter past eleven at night, no pony in their right mind would come calling at this hour unless it was an absolute emergency. A sudden, tight horror gripped us, clenching all our muscles . What's happened!? Is it Dare, has some horrible accident happened, or maybe Pinkie or Twilight or any other pony!? But...no...we had an odd feeling that this wasn't some terrible accident that's happened to one of our friend but something very personal, something that could change our life's...but for better or for worst? That question can only be answered if we open the door, could this be the change we wanted, needed?

All these thoughts and more coursed through our mind in that split second, but only one made us take action 'this could be the change, a whole new life...'

Tentatively we trotted over to the door whilst another three knocks rang through the silent house. The door was all that stood between us and a new life, unbroken and distinct...this is it. We opened the door and, as it swung back on it's hinges it revealed a figure, we couldn't recognize it but then they took a step forward so that the porch light shrouded them. It was us.

“Hi, I'm Mimic and I need your help.”

...what!?