I Don't Write

by Clean Karma

You're Talking to Fricken Animals!!

Author's Note:

wait...two chapters? I made two chapters? TWO FRICKEN CHAPTERS!?!? Let me say something that I hope I can force myself to remember
I. DON'T. WRITE.

...but...even if I did........don't expect a schedule!!

Macintosh stared. That's all he could do, was stare. There was nothing else to grab his attention...well maybe that adorable looping baby wolf on ground over, but still. Begone wolf, Big Mac think of different things, such as the Pegasus in front of him. The Pegasus that bore such a striking resemblance to butter with pink frosting lathered over it to the point it almost disappeared and would cease to be butter anymore. He opened his mouth to speak the only words he could say.

"You're talking to animals Fluttershy. Dumb, unintelligent, animals, some of which are predators who would eat you were you to die in their presence."

Fluttershy was quite surprised by Mac, but not for the same reason you are, "Wow. Big Mac, I didn't know you could formulate an entire sentence."

"Come again?"

"Nothing" Timidly she shrunk behind her mane, as if a few layers of unused protein were going to help her hide. Good job flutters, you've evented the most ridiculous place to hide. Applaud her folks.

Big Mac did not applaud her though, which is quite rude due to her discovery, and simply pressed on, "Look, all I'm saying is that talking to animals...it's just...ridiculous."

This time Fluttershy acknowledged the statement itself, "I know how unlikely it sounds..."

"AKA, impossible."

"...but I really do understand them. They speak to me, and I to them. The chipmunks in the trees, the birds in the sky, the rats in the walls of my house..."

"Which brings me to ask why you haven't had the disgusting varmints removed yet." Big Mac was determined to show this silly little mare how stupid her actions were. Even as a he spoke, a rat, looking very much annoyed by Big Macs words, scurried into Fluttershys mane. Big Mac wanted oh so much to swat it out but luckily...he wasn't as stupid as some may be led to believe. Instead he waited for Fluttershy reply.

"Oh they're not so bad once you get to know them. They just need a little TLC."

"I'm sorry Miss Fluttershy but unless you can prove for absolute sure that these animals understand you and that you understand them, then I'm not going for it." Big stared at Fluttershy resolutely. Fluttershy simply looked up in thought.

"Um...uh...Oh, I know. How about you the tell one of the animals a word and then the animals tells me the word you told them?"

Macintosh wasn't entirely sure this would work, and for good reason, "They can understand Equish?"

"Oh, uh...no...but they can repeat it in animals tongue which I can translate back to Equish so..."

Big Mac raised a hoof, "Alright, I'll buy it." He looked at one of the random rabbits that happened to be strewn about and whispered something. The rabbits face was surprised but thought that none-the-less this was needed. The rabbit made it's way to Fluttershy while Big Mac wore a small smirk.

I may have said something bad...

Fluttershy lowered her head to the rabbits.

...but it's not like it understood me or anything.

The rabbit spoke.

...I hope...

Fluttershys eyes went wide and her faced turned a very loud color of red. She looked up at Big Mac and his smirk slowly faded into an expression of horror.

Buck.

---

"So let me get this straight..."

Doctor Needle Point observed a clipboard, occasionally looking over it to see a rather large pony wrapped head to hoof in bandages.

"You want me to tell everypony that Ponyville's own Big Mac, the same Big Mac that can break silverwood trees with hoof while seeming undeterred, broke every bone in his body, and then some, while applebucking?"

The slightest nod could be seen from the mummy.