Lost in Paradise

by leeroy_gIBZ

Measurements: Part 2

Well, I may have gotten lost. No, I have definitely gotten lost. I as much as I enjoy wandering around school buildings, the enjoyment is ruined by the fact that I'm actually supposed to be doing something productive; not admiring the architecture. The architecture is nice though, with high ceilings, graceful arches and a relaxing green and purple color scheme. Of course, it did not hold a candle to anything Alloy Falchion ever designed but it was wholly survivable. For a school, anyway.

Ah, there it is! My classroom. Said classroom contained a collection of highly stressed students. It also contained a disgruntled teacher and a surprise test. Both were highly stress-inducing and I was prepared for neither of them.

"How nice of you to join us, Mr Nocturne. I trust you studied well." The man - a large fellow with grayish skin and a bad toupee - proudly announced.

"No, actually. I didn't." I explained, trying to ignore the fact that everyone else had already started the test and was hard at work either laughing at me and trying not to.

The teacher glared at me. "Well then, Mr Nocturne, whatever were you doing then that was so important that you found it appropriate to turn up late for my test?"

"Trying to find the class, sir." I replied.

He held his face in his hands and the other students lost all pretense of trying to answer anything. "Take a paper, sit down and try not to fail." He commanded, retreating to his desk and a hip flask that I doubted contained fruit juice.

Trying to ignore the twenty pairs of eyes driving chuckling nails of shame into my ego, I slunk into an empty seat and realized that although I had studied a remarkable amount of culture, I had also studied almost no actual schoolwork whatsoever. With shaking hands, I turned the cover page of the test and then breathed a sigh of relief. It was physics. That is one of those things; like my artistic ability, Sugarcoat's bluntness and the deliciousness of fried vegetable slices; that persists unchanged throughout time and space. I cracked my knuckles - something humans do in situations like this apparently - and got down to work.

About half an hour later, I had finished the test. Admittedly, I had it to be far more difficult than I had previously presumed the field of study to be. I am an artist and, depending on Prince Imaginos' mood, occasionally a test subject. As I found out, I am definitely not a scientist and physics is definitely not what I though it was. Some of the test, like waves, was common sense. Some, such as electromagnets, seemed to come right out of a science fiction novel. Again, not my area of expertise; I prefer romance. And finally, some was factually incorrect. I thought everypony knew that the Sky Goddess rotated the sun and moon around the world; not the other way round.

As I trudged out of the class, yet another familiar voice accosted me. Said voice belonged to a girl with a mess of lime green hair and a visibly pounding pair of headphones. I had a horrible feeling I knew who this was.

"Hey, Mirage! How'd you find the test?" Asked Lemon Zest.

"That was without a doubt one of the worst experiences in my life. Can you guess what the first is?" I asked, not bothering to make eye contact and hoping desperately that she would get the message.

She didn't. "No clue, Mirage. Anyway, Sunny told me about your problem and I am here to help." She yelled proudly, spinning on the spot.

"Thanks for the offer, but I am quite fine." I responded before walking off in search of the English classroom.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed me by the collar and jerked me back into the conversation. The green haired girl glared at me with a look that suggested that this was a matter of life and death. "You don't get it, do you?"

"I clearly don't, no. Now, if you would excuse me, I have classes to fail."

She did not let go. "Dude. I know Sunny's great and all but you can't come to her for advice."

"And why not, pray tell? She seems reasonable."

"Yeah, I guess but only if you're talking about school stuff. If you're trying to survive in the real world, you've gotta talk somebody who knows real-world things. Like me."

The real world. As far as I was concerned, the real world obeyed the laws of physics and involved me not having this conversation. But, then again, I suppose I might as well try to fit in.

"Fine. What do you have in mind?" I sighed, hoping that it did not involve the dread-

"Parties!" Yelled the student much to the chagrin of everyone else in the hallway. "They're the realest thing there is. You, me and Indy. Tonight at Klub Ice. I know this guy who's like, the ultimate forger. He can get you anywhere."

"Can he get me home?" I wondered out loud as my hopes of getting any sleep tonight drained away.

"Nah, probably not. But if you want Melody Lure tickets, he's got you covered."

I reconsidered. Perhaps this world's Lemon Zest actually has decent taste in music. Perhaps "Bank Holiday" is an actually holiday and not just some prank people pull on unsuspecting foreigners. Perhaps I just really wanted to know what human music sounded like. I'm not entirely sure which was which but I agreed and a few hours later, I was standing in front of a nightclub with the person who was apparently now my best friend and a literal mythical fish demon from another dimension. The bouncers were not amused.

Comments

[PheonixTv]

It's back!

[leeroy_gIBZ]

And better probably about the same as ever. I will put out chapters more regularly now that I have free time again though.