Those Pesky Old Feelings

by KalenNighteyes

Those Pesky Old Feelings...

I sat in the cafeteria with my friends, listening to all their stories from the weekend. Ordinarily we all would have done something together, but most of them had something else they wanted to do, which was fine. It gave me time to work on some very fabulous dress designs. Sunset Shimmer had had some time with Princess Twilight, which I was glad those two finally managed to get themselves sorted out. It seemed the two of them were so happy to be together. Now that Twilight was spending her weekends here, it was all the more special for Sunset. It made me happy for them.

Fluttershy, as usual, had spent the weekend caring for the animals at the shelter. I would expect nothing less from her. Her humanitarian efforts were positively amazing and you could tell just how much she cared for the animals. Pinkie Pie was there with her and held a bake sale to raise funds for the shelter. It seemed that their weekend was great.

Then there was Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Ever since the two of them got together, they've been attached at the hip. Where one goes, the other is not far behind. It was adorable in sickening kind of way. The two of them weren't exactly tactful in the beginning of their relationship, romping around the broom closet like they did. Did they really thing we wouldn't notice? I shook my head, looked down at my lunch, and began poking at it with a fork. I knew Rainbow and AJ liked one another, but I didn't think it was in that way. In all honesty, I had thought it would be Applejack and myself that were bound to get together eventually. Oh, naturally I have been most supportive of them being together, but it is quite hard to keep doing so.

Fluttershy suggested to me one day that I should air my feelings on the subject, but I felt that was a little… much for me to do. I didn't want to make my friends feel like they couldn't be themselves with their partners. It would be unfair of me to allow Sunset and Twilight to be lovey with one another while at the same time make Applejack and Rainbow Dash stay apart when they were around me.

And yet, I wanted very much to be selfish; wanted very much to tell them both to just stop! Applejack and I certainly had our differences, but I never once hated her for our differences. In fact, I saw it going a very different way between us. I wanted things to be that different way for she and myself. I guess I was just a little too late, like poor Princess Twilight with her Rainbow Dash in Equestria.

“So, what'd ya do this weekend, Rarity? Anythin' special?” Applejack said.

“Hmm? What? Oh, nothing much really. Just put some finishing touches on a few clothing designs. Nothing at all special,” I said, sounding a little more glum than was meant.

“Oh come on! You live for designing clothes, so it is something special to you,” Rainbow said, placing her hand on top of Applejack's.

I glanced only a moment at their hands before returning my gaze to my food, which had become a mess with all the poking I'd done to it. “Yes, quite right. Fashion is, of course, my passion. I'm glad that the rest of you had a good weekend.”

“Um… Rarity, is everything okay? I noticed that you've, um, just been poking at your food rather than eating it,” Fluttershy said.

I looked up at her and set my fork down. “Yes, of course darling! I'm perfectly fine! I'm just not that hungry is all. In fact, I'm not feeling the greatest. I think I'll take a trip to the nurse's office,” I said, standing up and grabbing my bag.

“All right. Let us know if we can do anything to help,” Sunset called as I walked away.

Once out in the hallway, I did not, in fact, go to the nurse's office. Instead I went to the bathroom, into a stall, and closed the door behind me. I stood leaning against the door of the stall just thinking and trying to calm down. I had Coped just fine with the fact that Applejack had chosen Rainbow. I'd dealt with this for most of last year, watching the two of them hold hands or even sneak a kiss when they thought none of us were looking. Why was it starting to bother me so much all of the sudden? Why couldn't I just keep letting it go instead of start having the selfish thought of wishing they would just stop?

“Um, excuse me, Rarity?” came Fluttershy's meek voice from the other side of the stall door.

I let out a squeak of surprise as she spoke. “Yes, Fluttershy dear? Is there something you need?”

I heard her footsteps grow closer. “I was a little worried about you so I came after you and saw you run in here. Are you sure you're all right?”

“Just a little tummy bug is all. I'm sure I'll be fine in no time. Thank you for your concern,” I said, hoping she would buy that.

“Oh, well, if you're sure that's all…” she said.

“Quite sure, dear!”

She approached closer now. “Rarity, you know that you can talk to me, right? If something is bothering you, I'd like to help if I can. Is this about Applejack again?”

I sighed, closed my eyes, and leaned my head against the door. “Yes, it is. I'm so ashamed of myself for feeling jealous. Especially since I have been so good about dealing with it, but today, it just got to me…”

“Oh, Rarity. Is there anything I can do to help you?” she asked.

“Not unless you can roll back time and allow me to get to Applejack first,” I said, sarcasm coating my words.

“No, I'm afraid I can't do that. What I can do is talk through it with you. What started this feeling today?”

I shook my head and opened the stall door. “It was hearing about everything you all did over the weekend. You all had something to do with each other while I was left by myself to work on my clothing.” I walked across the bathroom and to one of the sinks. “I guess I should be grateful, however. I would have been nothing but a third wheel to them.”

“Rarity, you could have come to the animal shelter with Pinkie Pie and me. You wouldn't have been a third wheel with us,” she said.

“I know… I'm honestly unsure as to why I didn't come with you, then I wouldn't have been alone all weekend.”

Fluttershy looked at me in the mirror. “You said you had too much work that you needed to get done.”

“Right. I did say that didn't I?”

I could feel my eyes starting to burn as thoughts of being alone over the weekend combined themselves with thoughts of not being with Applejack. No, I couldn't cry, because then everyone would know something more was wrong than just an upset stomach. I'd been able to tough it out thus far, I should be able to do it now. Right?

“Rarity, I truly feel that if maybe you spoke to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, you'd feel better… It would air your feelings and it might make you feel better.”

“Certainly not! I can't do that to them, Fluttershy. It would just make things even more awkward than they already are when I'm around,” I protested. “Besides, perhaps I am just not meant to have someone to be with. I held out hope with Applejack for so long, I never even considered other possibilities.”

That was when the tears came. What if that was true? What if I really am just meant to be on my own?

“Goodness, Rarity. I didn't mean to make you cry…” Fluttershy said, hurrying over to me and putting an arm around me.

I sniffled. “Oh, nonsense. It wasn't you that did this. I was just thinking that maybe I what I said is true. I'm supposed to be alone. I lost the one person I loved. What if no one else would be willing to have me?”

Fluttershy pulled me into a tight hug. “That just isn't true, Rarity. For all you know there might already be someone else out there for you just waiting for the right moment to let you know how they feel.”

I returned her hug, trying my best not to cry all over her clothes. “Do you really think so?”

“I know so! One day that person will march right up to you, look you in the eyes, and confess their feelings for you. And who knows. There is the Valentines dance coming up in a month. Maybe it will happen there!” Fluttershy said, her tone enthusiastic and full of energy I didn't know she was capable of ordinarily.

With another sniffle, I pulled away and looked at her. “Oddly specific, but I will not get my hopes up. Besides, I don't know. I worry that Applejack is still too fresh a wound for me to accept someone's feelings about me.”

“Oh… I see,” she said, taking a couple of steps back, and letting her hair fall down to partly cover her face.

I moved back over to the sink, placed my bag on it, and opened it. “Now I need to redo my makeup. Crying always makes my mascara run so dreadfully.”

“A-Are you feeling better Rarity?” Fluttershy asked, her tone once again meek.

“I think so,” I said, looking to her in the mirror. She was still half hiding behind her hair, which actually made me a little concerned now. “Perhaps I should ask you if you're all right. You were so full of gusto before, but now you're hiding behind your hair like you do.”

“Oh, sorry. It's nothing Rarity,” she said, pushing her hair back and giving me a smile. “I'm glad you're feeling better. Don't let Applejack and Rainbow being together get you down. You'll find that special someone. I'm sure of it!”

With that, Fluttershy gave me one more quick hug then left the bathroom. For a moment I stood there staring at my reflection in the mirror. This is what not being with Applejack resorted me to. Bottling up my feelings until they just spilled out. I couldn't let her affect me anymore. Fluttershy was right. There would be someone out there for me eventually. I would just have to be patient, and patient I would be. With a sigh, a wave of resolve washed over me, and I set to fixing my makeup to return to my friends.

---

Fluttershy Point of View outside bathroom after leaving Rarity.

I wanted to scream, to just let out all of my frustrations with my lack of courage and pushing my confession back even farther. Valentines dance? What was I thinking? That will still be too close. She'll still be trying to get over Applejack, so I shouldn't even bother.

“Did you tell her yet?”

Sunset's voice scared me out of my scolding of myself, which made me let out a squeak of fear and resulted in me recoiling away from her.

“Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you, Fluttershy!” she said, holding her hands up.

After my heart stopped pounding, I started walking down the hall with Sunset following at my side. “I, um… No. It's not the right time. She was having a moment about Applejack in there.”

Sunset sighed. “Again? Fluttershy, the sooner you tell her, the sooner she'll be able to move on I think. You've been holding this in for a while now.”

“I know. It just never seems like the right time. She's so busy usually with her work and she's still dealing with-”

“Applejack. Yeah, I know. Look, I'll make it simple for you. Either you tell her, or I'm going to,” Sunset said.

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked over at her. “No! I'll tell her, just not today.”

“Then when?”

I retreated behind my hair a bit, only looking at Sunset with one eye. I put my hands together and tapped my index fingers together nervously. “At the Valentine's dance.”

“Fluttershy, that's a month away!” Sunset exclaimed.

“I know, but it will give me time to better prepare myself and figure out a good way to tell her. Like, maybe when a slow song comes on or something,” I said.

Sunset cocked an eyebrow at me, clearly unsure if I meant what I said. “All right, but if you don't tell her that night I'll find her and tell her myself. You've been holding onto this for so long, I don't know how you stand it.”

“It isn't easy, but I manage. And I promise. I will tell her at the dance.”

“You better. You know I've been all for you two getting together this whole time. I think you'd make a wonderful couple,” Sunset said, giving me a smile.

I smiled and gave a giggle. “Me too.”

After that, the conversation dropped. I may have looked happy outwardly, but in actuality I was screaming inside. Would I actually be ready to tell her by then? I certainly hoped so.

Author's Note:

I am leaving this one incomplete for the moment. I honestly don't feel like this story is complete, but I'm going to watch comments and see what others think! I hope you enjoyed my first foray into this ship.

Comments

[Rose Quill]

Oh, Fluttershy...I can’t help but find this cute!

[mlpsc26]

Tracking. This was lovely. I’d love to see what the fates have in store for the dance.

[KalenNighteyes]

8634239
Thank you! I hope I don't disappoint

[TheCreativeWonderDash]

Ohmygosh, the setup for this is quite lovely. Really excited to see how this pans out and ahhhhh these two!