Fallout is Magic: Discordant Harmonia

by Ruddy Quill

crack the egg

Loading save file: ****

I/O Error. Corrupted Data. Cannot load save data.

Attempt to recover corrupted data? [Y] / N

Scanning system... Opening HarmoDiscXii data sector...

Searching Ygg6...

Ygg6: Error, invalid directory. Failed to read.

Searching Ygg44...

Ygg44: Error, invalid directory. Failed to read.

Searching Ygg108...

Ygg108: Error, invalid directory. Failed to read.

Data sector irrecoverable. Launching scrub programs...

Running creation program Cel.2GV.exe…

Running termination program Lun.30C.exe…

Running randomization program Dis.k_blnW.exe…

Opening chatlog and parallax terminal...

Parallax Terminal Bifrost loaded. All systems accessible.

[WARNING]: Usage of multiple programs in the terminal may lead to system destabilization.

// Cel.2GV has entered chatlog...

// Cel.2GV: So… it comes to this again, does it?

//Lun.30C has entered chatlog...

//Lun.30C: Good morrow to thee, ****! It has been quite the span of time since we have laid eyes on thou!

//Cel.2GV: ...yes, hello, ****. It's good to see you.

//Lun.30C: And thou as well!

// Dis.k_blnW has entered chatlog...

// Dis.k_blnW: So the gang's all here, huh? Ahahehe! How I relished the moment I would see you two sorry sad sacks again.

//Lun.30C: We could do without seeing thee though, ****.

//Dis.k_blnW: Aww... that hurt, ****. And after I was so waiting to see that chubby flank of yours.

//Lun.30C: The majestic plot is not chubby! We are simply big-boned!

//Dis.k_blnW: Heeheeheeheehee~!

//Cel.2GV: ****, please stop mocking my ****. It's beneath even you. Now, there's only one reason we would've been allowed to meet one another again after so long. **** has called upon us to summon the next **** for her sick game

//Dis.k_blnW: Ho ho! So we have another chance to play! I wonder what poor soul is on the chopping block next? Let me take a crack at it this time! I have a doozy planned out!

//Cel.2GV: Ugh, must you be so nonchalant about this, ****?

//Dis.k_blnW: Come now, ****! What's got you so flank-flustered? After nearly **** cycles, you would think this would be par for the course for you. I, for one, welcome this with open arms... talons... tentacles... data streams? Hmm, this plane of existence still eludes proper description.

//Lun.30C: Verily? Even for one as **** as thou, ****?

//Dis.k_blnW: ****! You're looking forward to this, right?

//Cel.2GV: Please don't humor him, ****.

//Dis.k_blnW: Oh, you're no fun! Come now, **** I'm sure you've been wanting to see what the new meat will accomplish.

//Lun.30C: Perhaps...

//Cel.2GV: ****! Really! You, too?

//Lun.30C: Oh posh on thee, ****! Thou must truly relinquish the stick from thy plot. Nagging on and on like a filly denied her sweets. Tis poppcock, we say! Even thou should realize that this is the burden that has been placed on our collective withers. We might as well enjoy ourselves while we do so.

//Dis.k_blnW: That's the spirit! Well? It's two against one, ****. Looks like you're in the minority this time.

//Cel.2GV: ...hmmph, very well. Since even my own **** and **** seems fit to rally against me-

//Lun.30C: **** we did not mean to...

//Cel.2GV: It is alright, ****. I... even I understand that this system has a somewhat honorable if perverse set of rules to it, and all of us are beholden to abide by it. We had our chance long ago. It's time to let others take up the mantle.

//Lun.30C: **** ...

//Dis.k_blnW: Alrighty then! If even stuffy, old **** says it's okay, then it's okay! Like I said, mind if I take a crack at it this time? You two had a shot the previous cycle going double or nothing, and we all know how that turned out.

//Lun.30C: We still think that we had the rub by placing our bets on the **** ...

//Dis.k_blnW: Ah, ah, ah! No sour grapes, ****!

//Cel.2GV: Yes, **** it's only fair to give dear **** a chance at the helm, isn't it?

//Dis.k_blnW: ...I don't like that tone of text. Good thing I'm not a sore winner!

//Lun.30C: Thou could have fooled us with the planting of those ****...

// Dis.k_blnW: La~la~la~! Moving on! Here's my entry, all the way from across the ethereal sea and deep in the land of ****!

Running retrieval program summon.Bifrost.****exe...

**** attempting to gain access to OS.

****: Error, definition invalid. Failed to read.

****: Error, incompatible system. Failed to read.

[WARNING]: Multiple system errors detected! Running recovery program Ragna.Fen99.exe…

//Cel.2GV: ****! What did you do?

//Dis.k_blnW: Not a problem! Just requires a little finagling here... A little jostling there... Maybe a couple smacks with a halibut... Ah! There we go!

Recovery program cancelled. Minor glitches detected. Removing from mainframe...

Scanning for similar base to ****... partial match found.

Matching data outdated. **** will not properly load in GoldenApple15.1 operating system. Loss of pertinent data may occur. Continue? [Y] / N

Loading... 10%.

Loading... 66%.

Loading... 98%.

Loading... 99%.

Loading valid data.

**** has loaded.

//Cel.2GV: That is an... interesting choice.

//Lun.30C: ...what exactly are we viewing hereforth? Tis looks... tis looks like a ****?

//Dis.k_blnW: Something wonderful and terrifying and magical and heartwrenching, my dears. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a poodle to shampoo. Until we come to the climax of this new game! Tootles!

//Dis.k_blnW has left chatlog.

//Lun.30C: ...he truly is infuriating, is he not, ****? Still, he is not wrong. We might as well enjoy this while we can. Till anew, my dear ****! Huzzah and forsooth! Let the battle of souls and wits commence!

//Lun.30C has left the chatlog.

//Cel.2GV: ...I wish all the best for you, my poor lost soul. May **** shine her grace upon you. I hope that you will not need it.

//Cel.2GV: ...

//Cel.2GV has left the chatlog.

Chatlog and parallax terminal closing...

Completing general system boot-up...

System boot-up complete.

Loading new file. **** selected as user.

User profile incomplete. Missing key parameters. Running initialization...

Overwriting original values…

memento.****.369 backed-up to data sector ****.****. Inherited skills, knowledge, and experience may be accessed via subroutine Nyx.****. Permission locked by administrator ****.

Requesting input…

Welcome, new user! Please enter your name: _______.

Error, system language reading slight glitch in input. Entry may not write/read properly.

You have entered ****. Is this correct? [Y] / N

Welcome, ****! Before you begin your journey, there are a few questions you need to answer first! Your answers will help determine what your starting attributes, skills, and gear are, so please answer to the best of your abilities! Do not concern yourself with choosing the 'best' answer. This is merely a measure to gauge what play-style is best suited for you. There is no wrong answer- swer- swer.

There is no **** answer, answer, ****, answeeoouur... ****

Please, **** m-

Error found in operating system. Corrupted data located in mana directory. Shunting user interface to unallocated physical memory...

Transfer complete. Corrupted sector isolated. Purging...

Purge Complete. Continuing initialization sequence...

Loading P.O.N.E. psychological test...

[P.O.N.E (Primary Occupational Nascent Examination)]

[Question 1]
You are approached by a high-strung unicorn ritualist, who yells, “I'm going to add a photonmana arc to this temporal void modifier array!” What's your response?
a. “But mage, wouldn't that cause a cascading destructilization of the athereal compound equation?”
b. “Yeah, well, you're a butt!”
c. Say nothing, but initiate a four-string snoodle boop sequence on the ritualist until she scrunches herself into submission.
d. Say nothing, but slip away before the ritualist can continue her rant.

[Question 2]
You've gotten into a spirited disagreement with the local militia, and since you don't have the power or numbers to enter friendly sportmanship with them, you must make a quick escape. What do you do?
a. Distract them with a naughty limerick and run while they consider the lewdness.
b. Take advantage of your stamina and run until they tire out.
c. Use your street knowledge of the town to evade them.
d. Fall down an open manhole cover just out of their sight.

[Question 3]
You come across a band of brigands waiting to waylay innocent travelers on the roads. However, you have the chance to surprise them or even avoid them entirely. What do you do?
a. Quietly sneak around them.
b. Pick them off from a distance to weaken their forces.
c. Create a series of traps and lead the brigands into them to weed them out.
d. Take the chance and use that neat doodad you got from that quirky alchemist the other day.

[Question 4]
Oh no! A dragoness has bested you and flown you away to her horde for a horrific fate - nonconsensual cuddling. How do you escape?
a. Cuddle her into submission. You're the cuddler, not the cuddlee!
b. Wait her out until she falls asleep. You know you can withstand the torture.
c. Convince her that nonconsensual cuddling is a grave crime and shouldn't be forced on anyone.
d. Hey! Free cuddles from a warm dragon-poo! Score!

[Question 5]
You spill a rather large and ornery-looking minotaur's drink at the local tavern. What do you do?
a. Apologize and buy him a replacement (with the bits you were stealing from him).
b. Get a surprise pantsing in.
c. Don't even bother. Just hightail it out of there.
d. Tell him it was the random-pony-to-your-right's fault.

[Question 6]
Old stallion Tinklewink has accidentally locked himself in the bathroom again, and you just had to drink a Big Slurp not one hour prior. How do you proceed?
a. Use a bobby pin to pick the lock on the door.
b. Kick the door open. Bladders wait for no pone!
c. Hold it until someone arrives to unlock the door for you.
d. Go find another bathroom, you dingus.

[Question 7]
To get into the wasteland gang's hideout, you must get through an shocky gate. This is an ancient security gate that immediately shocks anyone who goes through, leaving you with that awful pins-and-needles sensation for hours. How do you get past it?
a. Just walk through! You're a toughin' who can withstand anything!
b. Find an alternative route through a hard-to-reach passage.
c. Ooh! What does this button do?
d. 'Convince' a gang member to let you through with them.

[Question 8]
The artifact you've been tasked to recover from a Nightmare cult is whispering dark and forbidden things to you, offering you ultimate power and snuggles for just a small, tiny price. What do you do with it?
a. Turn it into client and let them deal with it. You're not going to have a repeat of last time. Not again.
b. Destroy it, it can't be allowed to keep existing.
c. Try to make friends with the abomination beyond mortal understanding contained within.
d. Bury it in a place that no one will ever find it ever again.

[Question 9]
A fellow villager is in possession of a 'Ponyak the Barbarian' comic book, issue number 1. You want it. What's the best way to obtain it?
a. Trade the comic book for one of your own valuable possessions
b. Throw a temper-tantrum and hold your breath until they give it to you.
c. Sneak into the villager's home, and steal the comic book.
d. Slip some knock-out potion into the villager's Nuka-Colta, and take the comic book when he's unconscious.

[Question 10]
Who are you? Can you hear me? Are you there? Please, **** me. Don't let **** win. **** always ****. You must never ****. What is your ****?
a. ****
b. ****
c. ****
d. ****

[Warning]: Once you have made your selections and begun play, you cannot go back and change them. Are you certain this is what you want?

....... [Y] / N

Selection confirmed. Crafting avatar...

S.P.E.C.I.A.L. Attributes, loaded.

Perks, loaded.

Physiology, loaded.

Psychological Profile, loaded.

Mana Network, loaded.

Harmonic Interface, loaded.

Subroutine Bal.Kar.**** loaded.

Compiling...

Loading world program Equestria.1001 in parallel process….

Processes complete.

Welcome to Equestria, user ****. May your journey be full of love and friendship!

Author's Note:

And there's chapter 0! Hopefully it intrigues enough people to respond to it. So yeah, I'm taking the 'Fallout' route, but of a much different type than normal. In case you didn't notice, the rating is 'E' so this is the silly, lite version. Hope you guys are ready for what comes next.

And yes, the survey actually is the first thing that has an effect on how the story progresses. It is what determines what the MC's stats are at the very beginning. Imagine the basic 'Fallout' SPECIAL points, and you get the idea. And this will help to determine if the reader input made in the comment section is actually successful or not. Expect lots of temporary 'dead ends' because of this.

As for whether or not your suggestion is used, it depends on three things - commenter consensus, ingenuity, and if I think it would be hilarious to write. Let's see what kind of bullplop we get into!

If you do want to bother answering the survey, please do so in a list manner, putting in your answer choices for each question as so -

1.a
2.b
3.c, and so on and so forth.

In you have any questions, please feel free to ask them in the comment section below. Til next time; criticism appreciated!

[EDIT]: 'Hidden' words changed to spoilers because mobile Fimfic hates eldritch font.

Comments

[KamenRiderSkull]

1.a
2.d
3.b
4.a
5.a
6.a
7.b
8.b
9.a
10.b

[Prowox]

1c
2c
3b
4a
5a
6a
7b
8d
9c
10d
Also, is the rating of the story going to change if the story goes in a certain direction, or will it strictly be kept to E?

[Cuber Snuggles]

1.d
2.c
3.b
4.b
5.d
6.d
7.b
8.a
9.a
10.a

My attention is held in your hands my fellow user. Don't drop it! I bruise easy...

[Alicorn Prince]

1. D
2. D
3. B
4. A
5. A
6. D
7. C
8. C
9. D
10. A?