A defender's quest for...

by Archibad

Chapter 7 - Breakdown

The sky. David never paid much attention to it in his life. It was completely covered with dark gray clouds. It might begin to rain soon.

Why did this happen? Why did this have to happen? My Great Lord Zoh, why did you do this to me?

He blinked once. His eyes had dried up a long time ago, not because he didn't need to cry anymore, but because the wind had dehydrated them.

I have failed you, I am undeserving of your mercy.

His focus shifted from one spot to another on the neverending blanket of clouds, and with it, his thoughts did as well. He tried to distract himself, so as to not to think about... that, but he just couldn't. Everything reminded him of his friend, he was unable to think of anything else than him for more than a split second.

I should have listened to my father. I was never worthy of becoming a defender.

He was lying on the cushioned floor of a chariot, unmoving. He felt uncomfortable this way, his armor was pressing hard into his skin and his back was slightly aching due to it, but he remained still. At least the burning sensation in his lungs was slowly fading away, as was the agonizing pain coming from his legs. He took a deep breath and felt calmness washing over him for a brief moment. He had finally done it.

I am the worst that a person can get.

His eyes twitched as his thoughts violently turned dark again.

I hate myself. Everyone should hate me. I deserve it.

He suddenly became aware of the quiet sobbing of Lilly to his left. She tried with all of her might, but she was just unable to stop the tears ever since... that happened.

I did this, not The Great Lord Zoh and not the manticore. It was me.

David turned his head to the left. Lilly had her face buried in her hooves, her tears were completely soaking her fur. She still wore her beautiful golden armor, but it was no longer shining. Mud was smudged nearly all over it.

Did my mother die? She must have. If not from the plague, then from the shame of having such a horrible son.

He wanted to reach out to her, to tell her that this had been just a bad dream and everything is going to be alright, but even he found it hard to believe in these lies.

I have failed everybody. I have failed at everything.

David turned his head in the opposite direction. He saw the flanks of a pair of pegasi. Their wings were beating to the same rhythm and their legs were moving back and forth, just as if they were running across a field.

No, I didn't fail everybody... my father must be jumping with joy right now.

The two pegasi wore the same armor as Lilly, but these were perfectly fitted and polished, just like how Lilly's armor had been.

Although it does not matter now, at least he can die as a happy man.

David turned his gaze from the Royal Guards back towards the sky.

Wait... the voice.

David sat upright and closed his eyes in concentration. He blocked out any noise coming from the outside of his mind and focused on the mysterious voice in him.

What are you?

Ever since they got on the chariot, it grew quieter by the second and it almost got to the point of complete silence. Now that he thought about it, he wanted to stop that from happening. No, he had to stop that from happening.

Who are you?

The voice sounded so distant in his mind that it was too difficult to make out what it was saying exactly.

Please don't go away.

It fell silent. David's blood froze for the second time that day.

You are doomed.

He felt relieved. He opened his eyes and a weak smile crossed his face, but it was already gone in an instant.

No, please, don't start another rant.

It will only get worse.

David rolled his eyes. He felt like he saved the voice from completely vanishing from him, although now he was wishing he hadn't done it.

There can't be anything worse than this. There can't be anyone worse than me.

He went back to trying to distract himself, so he looked down towards the ground. They were around five-hundred feet up in the air. He did not know exactly where they were going, but he had a strong hunch that their destination was Canterlot, the capital city of Equestria.

You can still stop it.

Stop what? What are you talking about? What are you?

He watched the leafless trees below him go by. Among them, he noticed a lonely wooden tower, atop it there were a few Royal Guards, although they were too small for him to see how many of them there were exactly.

You have to stop it.

David couldn't tear his eyes from those ponies. They seemed so small, so insignificant from up here, but they were important, or at least much more important than him. They had a family and at least a couple of friends, not to mention that their task was to protect this land and so far they had done an excellent job of it, yet if one of them died, would he notice? And now that... that happened, did they notice it? Did anything change for them because of it?

Your quest needs to end, now.

And what if he died? Would anyone notice him gone? Would anyone shed a tear for him? His own family and friends were back at his kingdom and he had been gone for such a long time, they must have already thought him dead. Now that he was thinking about it, they might be happy for his death, too. After all, he was just an idiot who failed at everything he tried to do and now they finally got rid of him. If he were to return home now then all of them would be disappointed in him, again.

Jump.

He gripped the edge of the chariot with both hands while he peeked over at Lilly. Her head was still buried deep in her hooves, although her sobbing was slowly dying down. She must have figured out that Sturdy's death was his fault. She would be happy for his death as well.

It won't hurt.

He looked the other way, towards the two pegasi. They were too busy pulling the chariot. If he jumped down and didn't scream, then they wouldn't notice it until it's too late.

It would make everyone happy.

He turned his head up to the sky. Did The Great Lord Zoh exist? If he did, then he would want his death as well. It would be better for everybody if he died right now.

The Great Lord Zoh would want it as well.

His legs were already dangling of off the edge, he only needed to move a bit closer.

I have to die to save the others.

He moved closer to the edge. Just a few more inches and then all of his and the world's problems would be solved at the same time.

I have to jump.

"David," he froze down. The voice's control over his thoughts had vanished. He slowly and uncertainly turned his head to the left. Lilly was trying to dry her cheeks with her hooves with little to no success. She looked up to him with her bloodshot eyes and smiled weakly, "We are about to arrive, you might want to make yourself a bit more presentable," she pointed a hoof at him and went back to her own business, this time trying to scrub at least some of the mud off of her armor.

She isn't mad at me.

David looked down upon his chest plate, which was covered with the manticore's clotted blood. He lifted up his hands to his face to inspect his gauntlets as well. They were in the same condition as the rest of his armor, only a bit worse. There was no way he could get the blood out of the linen. He took off the gauntlets and tossed them aside, he would need to wash them later in clean water and with a lot of soap. After this, he began to scratch the dried blood off of his armor with his nails. It became rather painful after a while, not to mention that it proved not so effective, but at least it gave him something to occupy his mind.

Suddenly David felt the chariot descending and he turned his head to his right. Aside from the two Royal Guards, he saw a sight that made his jaw drop. There were great white marble walls and towers built on the mountainside stretching towards the sky. Their roofs were painted golden in different beautiful shapes and the flag of Equestria was planted on top of the tallest building of them all. They just so happened to be flying towards that same building.

David felt a hoof touch his chin and close his mouth, "Be careful, you might drool over yourself," said Lilly as the human turned around towards her. She tried to curl her mouth into a smile, but she quickly gave up on that. They kept looking at each other, silently debating whether this was just all a nightmare. They stayed like that, unmoving until the thud of the chariot drew them out of their staring. David retrieved his gauntlets and both of them got off at the same time.

They landed on a small patch of grass between a couple of giant lifeless oak trees, their dark branches pointing towards the sky like dug-in pikes. Under them, there were around a dozen Royal Guards standing stoically, waiting for David and Lilly to start moving. There was also a cobblestone road not too far away from them and one of the guards, a grey stallion with a white mane, motioned for them to follow him. David and Lilly took a short peek at each other and gave the other a small, reassuring nod before falling in line behind the stallion. One of the Royal Guards barked a quick order and all of them turned ninety degrees towards the road. Another bark and they started marching to the same dull rhythm, following David and Lilly from a few feet away.

The stallion was leading them towards the tallest, most grandiose building of them all, the main castle. When they were only twenty feet away from the huge golden doors a yellow aura engulfed it and pried it open before them and they entered. The air inside the hall was comfortably warm on David's skin after the harsh cold of the outside. The walls had windows easily the size of houses and between each one of them stood a thick snow-white pillar, which was adorned with carvings of vines and flowers. Sculptures of ponies and other creatures were placed on either side of these pillars, seemingly filling up the hall with life.

David had so much to see that he felt like he didn't have enough time. He moved his head from side to side, taking in the beauty of the lifesize statues and the few colorful rose windows depicting a fight between a white and a dark pony. He didn't even notice the second golden door, only after it opened before them and he saw Her.

The sole princess of Equestria was sitting on her own throne atop a flight of stairs. A white unicorn mare with glasses stood next to her levitating a stack of papers with her magic next to herself and showing them to the princess one-by-one for her to sign.

The stallion stopped at halfway through the throne hall, announced their arrival and bowed down before Her Highness. Every Royal Guard behind David, including Lilly, followed suit, while he remained standing. He was completely awestruck by Princess Celestia's sight. She hastily finished signing the last of the papers and sent her assistant on her way with a motherly smile and a thank you. She now turned her full attention towards the new arrivals.

Princess Celestia's smile slowly faded away from her face as she observed David and Lilly. She stood up from her throne and, with graceful steps, she descended the stairs and began walking straight towards the human. Lilly dared to peek up from the ground and noticed the advancing Princess and her friend, who was still not bowing in front of Her Highness. She quickly nudged him in the leg, but he would not budge. She considered punching him in the gut to force him on the ground, although the thought vanished as fast as it came. She had lost her tendency for violence since... that.

Meanwhile, David was still trying to peer his eyes away from Princess Celestia, but he was unable to. He had never seen The Great Lord Zoh in person, or at least he couldn't remember an occasion, but Her Highness looked a lot like how he imagined him to be, just not in a pony form. Princess Celestia was now standing right in front of him, and even though he felt Lilly's hooves lightly hitting his legs they were still unresponsive. After this, Lilly had given up on trying to make David bow down and she accepted their death sentence with a sheepish smile towards the Princess.

All three of them stood still for a few moments before Princess Celestia gently yet quickly scooped them up with her wings into a long embrace. She held them close to her chest and let out a melancholic sigh.

At first, both of them were confused as to what just happened, but Lilly was the first of them to realize. She nestled herself in Celestia's embrace and began weeping into her white fur, she felt just like a foal crying on her mother's shoulder. David hugged Celestia back with one of his arms and with the other he began lightly stroking Lilly's mane, while he pressed his face into Celestia's fur as well to quieten the sound of his sobbing.

After a while, the Princess broke the embrace, "Let's go somewhere more quiet, my children," she said softly. Both Lilly and David only managed to nod in turn and she led them out of the throne room via a small door to the left. Before closing the door behind herself, the Princess motioned to the guards that they were dismissed.

They walked along a narrow pathway, which was presumably a shortcut meant for the servants, until they arrived at a simple wooden door. The Princess levitated it open for them and they entered. Behind the door was a dining room of some sorts, although it was much more modest than the other rooms of the castle, "This is my personal dining chamber, we won't be disturbed here," she said and pointed a hoof at the table in the middle, "Please, have a seat, my children," the table only had two chairs, one on both ends of it. Princess Celestia placed three more down beside her own chair with her magic for her guests.

"Who else dines here with Your Highness?" Asked David quietly, not knowing exactly how he should address the Princess.

"Please, call me Princess Celestia, or just Celestia if we are in private," she answered with her usual warm, motherly voice, although a bit of sadness was mixed into it this time, "I am the only one, who eats here. The chair is for the memory of my sister," Lilly nodded in understanding, while David was confused by her answer, "Would you like something to eat?" Asked the Princess, her sadness suddenly hidden in her tone.

"No, thank you," said Lilly and David in somber unison while all three of them took a seat.

Princess Celestia gave off another sorrowful sigh, "I can't begin to express how much I sympathize with you, my children. I did hope that I could see all of you sooner than planned, although I did not expect my wish to come true in such a horrible way," she extended her wings and began to gently rub the backs of her guests in an attempt to transfer the pain they felt into herself.

The moment was disturbed by three knocks on the same door that they entered from, "This must be our third and last guest," she withdrew her wings and stood up from her place, "Is it alright if I let him in?" Both Lilly and David were baffled by Princess Celestia's question. She was an immortal being, why would she need permission from mere mortals to do anything? Nonetheless, both of them nodded in agreement and she levitated the door open.

"Ah, Professor Endemism, please come in," the sadness from Lilly's face drained away in an instant. A dark green unicorn stallion with deep yellow eyes, a stained lab coat and a cutie mark of a book walked into the room. As soon as he noticed Lilly's expression he froze.

"You," this single word from Lilly was filled with venom towards the other pony.

"Lilly, please, just hear me out first," he said quickly as he began to slightly tremble.

"I've heard enough about you," Lilly jumped out of her chair and began running towards the professor, but her momentum quickly declined as her legs felt more and more sluggish the closer she got to him. When she finally arrived before him she was barely able to stand, "You did this, you caused his death!" She tried to scream into his face, but she could only whisper. Tears started to fall from her eyes and she collapsed onto the floor in front of the professor. David instinctively stood up from his place and was about to walk over to her in a hurry, but the professor reached down for her and lifted her off of the ground carefully while he started to cry as well.

"Don't say such awful things, he was my friend as well," he looked into her eyes, "I feel the same way about his..." he stopped in mid-sentence, unable to say the next word.

David was confused, he looked to Celestia who was still standing by the door, watching the two ponies with a slight sorrow visible on her face. With uneasy steps, he walked next to the two of them, crouched down and embraced both of them. They stayed like that for a while, all three of them trying to stop their tears unsuccessfully.

After they managed to calm down as best as they could, the trio let go of each other and Princess Celestia bent down to them and gently whispered into their ears in her motherly tone, "Let's carry on, my children, for we have much to discuss," the Princess gestured with one hoof towards the chairs and once everybody was seated she spoke again, "Professor Endemism, I think we should start with you."

The professor silently nodded, cleared his throat and he began in a gloomy tone, "I think Lilly knows very well why I am here," he took a peek towards her, then he turned to the human, "However, I wouldn't like to keep David in the dark," David was slightly surprised and grateful that the professor mentioned him by name, "I'm Professor Mythic Endemism, but just call me Endemism."

---

I was born into the Mythic family, which was only made up of unicorns and most of them were highly praised scientist of our era. I was raised from my birth, before I even got my cutie mark, to be a scientist like almost everypony else in my family, I even got my name after the biggest discovery of my grandfather. I was taught at the very best schools in all of Equestria and eventually I was sent to the University of Canterlot to be shaped into the pony my family wanted me to be. That is where I met Sturdy for the first time.

I was thought to be the greatest biologist in the university, but it was only because of my heritage. I was good at cramming and nothing else, but Sturdy was a true scientist. His intellect and passion for his work were greater than mine could have ever been and I adored him. He should have gotten every bit of praise instead of me.

My family prohibited me from ever meeting him, due to him being a non-unicorn, but we still met many times over the years. Whenever I wanted to escape the life that was forced upon me he would grant me sanctuary in his own college dorm and we would talk on hours to no end. I would tell about my dream of finally leaving the university life behind and start my own library, as I always wanted to, and he would dream loudly about how he will open a museum of his own fossils. He was a true friend and those years were the best in my life only because of him.

However, he had one flaw despite his bright mind.

At the university, whenever somepony made a breakthrough or found something new he or she would present it to the students and professors himself or herself, but Sturdy was unable to do that. He only tried once and he had a complete mental breakdown in front of so many ponies, he was just unable to present his ideas and findings on a podium. That is when he asked me to do it for him. I couldn't say no to him, he was my best friend after all, so I was the one, who had the honor of presenting the findings of his upcoming researches.

Unfortunately, because nopony had ever done this before, that somepony else presented the findings and not the original finder, everypony started crediting me. I desperately tried to stop them before it would reach Sturdy's ears, but I was unsuccessful. I never saw him so furious before. He kept shouting and cursing at me until he just ran away without me being able to say anything. We never met again, whenever we would notice each other he would quickly leave before I had the chance to even wave.

From then on, he tried to find another pony, who would be his representative and many scientists volunteered for him, but each and every one of them only used him for his intellect. Research after research had been stolen from him until he finally had enough and he began releasing his findings in lesser known scientific papers.

Sadly, because of his non-unicorn race, not many ponies read his findings and even less of them supported him monetarily. So when the University of Canterlot stopped funding him in an act of revenge, he was forced to leave the city. I wanted to help him with everything I got, but my family kept a close eye on me after one of my 'friends' told them that I disobeyed their prohibition. I was unable to do anything for him.

That was the last time I had heard of him, until now.

---

"You're a liar," said Lilly, while staring at the table, unmoving, "Sturdy told me this story differently," she finally looked up to Endemism with a visibly forced neutral expression.

"It is only natural," said the professor with a sigh and he dried up his wet cheeks with his hooves, "After all, we had vastly different personalities, not to mention that from his viewpoint I did act like a heartless monster," he admitted painfully. Lilly's expression softened a little and she went back to staring at an unremarkable point in the room.

David turned his attention to the Princess, "I don't know who to believe," he said bitterly, "If the point of this was to clarify things then it did not work," he let go of his slight anger towards the professor and leaned onto the table while he began rubbing his forehead in thought.

"I know how you must feel right now," Princess Celestia put one of her wings on David's shoulder, "The reason for this wasn't to clarify things, rather it was an ask for help from both of you," she extended her other wing and touched Lilly's face with it, gently lifting her out of whatever took hold of her mind into the real world, "I was blind to the horrors that are happening inside the city boundaries on a daily basis and now I want to make justice, starting with Sturdy's case."

"There is no point in it anymore, Your Highness," answered Lilly as she pushed Celestia's wing off of her face, "It won't bring him back," she turned her head towards the ground and returned to her staring. Celestia blinked a few times, shocked at the brutal honesty and hopelessness in Lilly's voice.

"Nobody can bring him back," said David not looking up from his hand. He gave off a pained sigh and forced himself upright in the chair.

"You are right, my children," admitted Celestia as she stood up from her place and went over to a small window. Through it, she watched the various ponies that were walking in the Royal Garden, "The news of your friend's unfortunate passing changed me in a way that I wouldn't have ever imagined anything could," she lowered her head as she mourned not just for her child, but for her naive past self, "Since I heard from the misfortunes that he had been put through by none other than my loyal subjects, I began to feel more suspicious and distrustful towards them. Ponies that I thought were the primary example of kindness and generosity have been shown to me that, in truth, they are the villains of this city," a single tear ran down her cheek and she quickly levitated a napkin to dry it up, but it had already been seen by everybody else in the room.

The human and the professor suddenly found new strength in themselves. Seeing an immortal being shedding a tear in such a depressive time filled them up with confidence and determination. It showed them that even the best of the best, the mightiest of the mightiest can be brought down by life and there was no shame in letting it be seen by others.

Professor Endemism was the first one who spoke up, "Princess Celestia, forgive me if my wording is inappropriate but as Sturdy once put it, just because of a few rotten apples we shouldn't throw out the whole basket," he said with a proud voice as he walked in front of the Princess.

"He is right," it was now David who got up from the table and stood next to the professor, "If a defender doesn't live by the teachings of The Great Lord Zoh, then he will be sent away to a secluded temple where he is going to be harshly reeducated in matters of morality and faith," a smile began to form on Celestia's lips and it became wider and wider the longer she listened to them. It worked, "I suggest we do the same thing with these villains, Princess Celestia," he finished his little speech with a slight bow to the Princess.

"Easier said than done," spat out Lilly while she still sat at the table in a depressive state and everybody looked over to her. While the sight of the sobbing Princess empowered the other two to show strength and support towards Celestia it only pushed Lilly deeper into her melancholy. After all, if even the best of the best, the mightiest of the mightiest lost all hope for the situation, then what was there to be done by a mere mortal like her? "How can you know for sure if somepony is rotten or not?" She asked in a demanding tone as she slowly stood up from her chair, but she immediately collapsed back into it. She gave up on trying to stand up and, yet again, resumed her silent staring into nothingness.

Princess Celestia's smile faded away as Lilly's words settled in her mind, "It pains me to say this, but Lilly is right," she kept her head low while she stood up from in front of the window and she made her way back over to the table. David's and Endemism's chests deflated at Princess Celestia's answer as a sense of hopelessness took hold of their hearts as well.

When the Princess arrived next to Lilly she extended her left wing and scooped up the pegasus into her usual gentle embrace. It was rare, even for her to see somepony in such a devastated state. She began rubbing her back in an effort to pull her out of this state just for a moment, but she either did not notice it or she didn't want to. She kept staring at an unremarkable spot on the table while occasionally a single tear would run down on her cheeks.

Princess Celestia gave off a sigh and withdrew her wing, "Professor Endemism," she called out to the professor with a warm, friendly tone.

"Yes, Your Highness?" He answered immediately to the calling and bowed slightly right after it.

"You are the first one of the academics to be informed about this. I decided to start a thorough investigation into the secret workings of the Academia," she looked into his eyes to which he turned his head towards the ground and bowed even deeper, "I have an unshakable feeling that this rabbit hole goes much deeper than I would have ever dared to imagine," Princess Celestia slowly walked over to Endemism who in turn shrunk down with each of her steps, "I think it goes without saying that every academic is prohibited from leaving the city until they have been questioned by my agents. Not abiding by this will result in the immediate exclusion from all of the universities across Equestria and a further ban from doing any kind of intellectual work regarding inventing or discovering new technologies or theories," when she finally arrived before the professor he was already lying on the floor. He tried to make himself seem as small as possible. She bent down to the professor and she whispered into his ears, "I wish you a safe journey, Endemism."

The professor looked up to Princess Celestia at first with fear, then with hope in his eyes. He jumped up to his hooves, said his goodbyes and left the room in a hurry while the Princess remained in one place with a slight smile on her face. After the professor had left she made her way back towards the table and sat down next to Lilly in one of the smaller chairs. She began stroking her back and whispering into her ears a few reassuring words in another attempt to jank her out of her melancholy.

Meanwhile, David was at a loss for words. He did not understand why the professor felt so terrified and why he had left so abruptly. He opened his mouth, then closed it right after he noticed Lilly's ears moving. For the last five minutes, Lilly had been perfectly motionless, she didn't even blink. Princess Celestia's words finally had an effect on her and he did not want to disturb her in fear of losing Lilly again. Instead, he opted to watch as the Princess lifted his friend back into the real world from the depths of her own mind.

Slowly and steadily life returned to Lilly. One by one her limbs began to move and not long after that she was already answering to the Princess with her own quiet words and nods of understanding. Then, she bowed before the Princess, gave a short nod to David and left the room as well.

For a moment the Princess remained still, silently debating her next move in herself. Then, she stood up from the tiny chair and levitated it out of the way with all the other chairs except hers, her sister's and David's. After this, she picked up all the decorations on the table with her magic and set them aside while sitting down on her own seat.

Meanwhile, the human watched all of this in awe. The ease at which the Princess moved objects with the glow of her horn impressed David. He had never seen anything like this before, and he doubted he would see ever again from somebody else.

I bet Sturdy would love to see...

The childish excitement was gone from him in a second. His posture deflated and his legs felt sluggish, he was barely able to make his way towards his chair and once he was sitting his muscles lost all of their strength and he remained there, unmoving. The voice returned with its dark messages of suicide and he began to slowly lose control over his senses.

"David," the Princess called out to him and the oblivion withdrew itself from around him as he forced himself back into the real world. He wanted to hear what Her Highness wanted to say, "I know you must have many questions about Endemism and I don't want to hold you back from asking them, so please, ask away."

The human fought with all of his willpower to stay conscious as the weight of his friend's... passing began to fully settle in his mind. He heard whispers, not just from the voice, but from his own thoughts as well. He didn't want to listen to them, so he quickly took a hold of the only thing that could save him, the only thing that wasn't about his friend's death, "Why did he leave so suddenly?"

The Princess was silent for a moment. She did not know if he meant Sturdy or Endemism, although David was just as unable to decide which one he wanted it to be, "Professor Endemism left because I gave him the perfect opportunity," she began, desperately trying to divert David's attention so that he wouldn't break down mentally just as Lilly did, "I doubt he would be the main culprit, more like a puppet in somepony else's game, so I used his desire to quit from the academia forever without his family being able to stop him. And who knows, maybe after he is far enough away in a library of his own he might feel safer and more inclined to start mentioning names."

"And what will happen to the other academics?" David didn't even care about the answer, he just wanted to think about something else.

"We will uncover even the smallest crimes and punish everypony accordingly," the Princess finished her answer with her usual motherly smile. David felt a bit of warmth return to him, but right after the grief washed over him again. He felt like a boy who had been taken underwater by a wave and he didn't know how to swim. He tried to open his mouth, to raise another question, to divert his attention just for another second from the pain, yet he couldn't. He felt the darkness closing in on him and his mind began to collapse into itself rendering him motionless. Just as how it happened to Lilly, it would happen to him as well.

"David," said the Princess in an unusually soft tone, even for herself. She stood up from her chair and walked next to David with careful steps. The human was only able to watch her with his eyes, he was unable to move his head or any other part of his body as his mind slowly shut itself down. She bent down next to his ears and began whispering, "I am terribly sorry for your loss..." she paused for a moment as she rethought her wording, "No, our loss. Sturdy had so much potential," David was barely able to say a weak and quiet thank you in response.

Princess Celestia sat down next to David, while she kept her head in eye level with him. She levitated a piece of snow-white cloth and dried up the tears on David's face, "I wish I wouldn't have to tell you this now, but I have no other choice," she hesitated for a moment. She tried to bring up at least one reason why she shouldn't inform David about this now, but she failed, "The incident has to go under investigation. You will have to stand before a trial and prove that you weren't the one who did it."

The fog from David's mind had been lifted. He regained his strength and he felt his body again. His vision cleared out and he turned his head towards Princess Celestia. Trust, hatred, anger, disgust, fear, the emotions inside him changed from moment to moment, constantly shifting towards a new, previously unknown feeling. A storm began to gather inside him like lava inside a volcano, yet he remained stoic. He nodded a single time as an answer.

The Princess hugged David briefly. The human had to physically force himself not to shove away the immortal being, "I will try my best to prove your innocence, but for that, I have to ask for your gauntlets," David did not understand her request and he didn't want to. He extended them towards Celestia, who tried to lift them up with her magic. After seeing that she was unable to she instead grabbed them in her hoof just as if nothing had happened, "Thank you, David," she embraced him one final time and then she levitated the door open. A single Royal Guard stood behind it, "Please escort David to his quarter and whatever you hear, don't go inside without his permission."

"Yes, Your Highness," the guard sharply saluted once and turned around. David looked at the Princess who gave him a small yet warm and encouraging smile, although he did not feel safer or calmer from it now.

The guard guided David across almost the whole castle through narrow passageways, but David paid no attention to it. His mind was filling up with dark thoughts and ideas, ranging from killing himself to killing the Princess, or at least try to. At first, he wanted to chase them away, the voice was even helping him with it for a nice change, but every time it worked his mind wandered back to Sturdy. He was unable to accept it that he was gone, he didn't want to believe it, he couldn't believe it. So after a while, he let those sinister thoughts fill up his head. It was better than accepting this nightmare.

David heard a polite cough from in front of him which pulled him out of his daydreaming. He looked up from the floor to see the source of it. The Royal Guard had stopped and turned around to face him. The pony opened a decorated wooden door next to him and motioned for him to enter. After he stepped inside the guard closed the door behind him softly.

The room where he found himself now was a complete mess. The two single beds situated at the opposing sides of the room were stripped from their pillows and blankets as those were laying on the floor in pieces. Feathers covered everything and a hyperventilating Lilly was sitting in one of the corners. They looked at each other, but neither of them said anything.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, David standing and Lilly sitting until the human took a few uncertain steps towards the beautifully decorated wooden cabinet.

Just like rain from the clear sky, the rage broke out of David suddenly, not even he expected it to be so quick. He roared in anger and smashed his fists into the front of the expensive furniture. Both of his hands punctured through the thin wood. He placed one foot on the lower side of the cupboard. He pulled at the furniture with both of his arms. He tore the small doors off of it with little to no effort while letting out a primal cry. He then kicked out at the bottom side of the furniture. It crumpled under his armored boots. He picked up the wreckage and threw it at the wall. It did not shatter to pieces. He became more furious. He yelled at it and picked it up again and smashed it against the floor. It exploded into splinters and chunks of wood this time. He let out a final roar as his fury disappeared and a growing sense of emptiness overcame him.

With the red clouds gone from his mind, David took a deep breath to gather his bearings. Firstly, he glanced over to the wreckage that he had made in less than a few seconds. Nothing intact remained from the furniture aside from a few metal hinges and handles, the rest resembled a makeshift campfire in the middle of the room. He then brought up his hands in front of his face. Blood was oozing out from many wounds across his fingers and knuckles and at least a dozen bits of wood were sticking out of his hands, not to mention that his skin was already turning purple and swelling all over his hands.

After all of the adrenaline was gone from his body the pain kicked in. It began as an aching feeling, then it morphed into a sharp, stabbing pain. He knew full well that his hands needed immediate treatment, but he had no desire to leave the room, not to mention that this physical agony at least occupied his mind.

David turned around towards Lilly and looked up from his hands. The pegasus was still sitting in the corner, but now with horror across her face. David felt a bit of shame in that he scared her. He began to move towards her at a slow pace while he tried to force a smile onto his own face, which only made him look even more menacing.

When David was just a few steps away from Lilly she shot up from her corner and ran off towards the other end of the room. David didn't dare to turn around to see where she went exactly. He instead closed his eyes in pain as he leaned on the wall with one hand and sat down with his back against it. He kept his eyes closed and began to hit the back of his head against the cold and rigid marble wall intentionally as a way of punishing himself.

David kept doing that, all the way thinking about how stupid and worthless he was until something soft wedged itself in between his head and the wall. He opened his eyes and saw Lilly stuffing a torn off piece of a silk pillow behind his head. She weakly smiled at him for a moment and lifted up one of his hands. The blood was nearly dripping off of it, although the rate at which it poured out of his wounds were slowing down. She used another piece of the same pillow soaked in water to wash down all the blood while she picked the splinters out of his hand with her bare teeth. After she finished she wrapped it into a lengthy piece of silk and tied it firmly, then she repeated it with his other hand.

David only watched Lilly with wonder and slight amusement. He thought that she wanted him dead and she hated and feared him, yet here she was, cleaning and patching up his hands, "Thank you," he said after Lilly finished and threw the bloody piece of silk on top of the wooden wreckage. She did not answer, she only took a seat on the floor next to him and remained silent.

David felt that he shouldn't talk now, but he also didn't want his mind to wander, so he chose to inspect his now bandaged hands. The piece of silk, that presumably was part of a blanket once, was tied around his hand in a way that didn't restrict the movement of his fingers, yet it still pressed down on his wounds enough to stop their bleeding. He turned his hand around to inspect Lilly's work from all sides and to take in the perfection of it fully. It was rare, even for a seasoned soldier or a defender to know the correct way to bandage up a wound on a hand, but Lilly managed it at her first and second try.

David put his hand down and thanked the soldier again. He curtly nodded to him and left him alone in the tent, on the cold ground. David turned his body around to where his gauntlets were, both of them were almost completely destroyed from the blow of the mace, he was lucky he still had hands. The dirty infidel rushed at him from out of his sight. It was now crystal clear that they were in desperate need of conquering and to be taught the teachings of The Great Lord Zoh.

He let out a frustrated sigh. His hatred towards these savages rose from moment to moment and the only thing that calmed him was the memory of how the life had drained out of the infidel's eyes as the same soldier, who patched him up, killed it right before it had the chance to smash his head in.

David rolled back onto his back. The battle was still raging on in the valley, not too far away from their camp, although it now resembled more of a slaughter of the infidels than a real battle. The savages thought it to be a good idea to try to ambush them, the defenders of The Great Lord Zoh, the enlighteners, and the conquerors in their own camp.

The conquerors. David called the defenders by this name many times now. All the defenders called themselves by this name many times, it almost became their second title. Whenever he heard the name he knew they would soon fight against brutes and savages to bring them the teachings of The Great Lord Zoh. The excitement for an upcoming battle filled him up with sensations that he never felt before and just like with Pavlov's dog the adrenalin began pumping in his veins just by the mere mention of their second title, but this time was different. Instead of pride and enthusiasm, he felt shame.

Well, we have many tasks. David suddenly remembered what he had told Sturdy about a week ago. We must help the poor and the unfortunate, we must provide guidance to those who are not as learned at the teachings of the Great Lord Zoh as we are, we must do anything in our power to protect the innocent, the helpless, the weak and the lands of the believers, we must spread the teachings of the Great Lord Zoh and last, but not least, we... have to kill those who refuse to abide by The Great Lord Zoh's teachings.

The tent was gone and he was yet again sitting next to Lilly on the ground in the Royal Palace of Princess Celestia. Everything stayed exactly how it had been before his memory engulfed him completely, except him. His mind raced with this one short but significant piece of information.

Sturdy was an infidel. He refused the teachings of The Great Lord Zoh and so The Great Lord Zoh made him kill him. These thoughts brought him joy and a sense of purpose before he came here and he met Sturdy, but now it filled him up with dread and a sense of sickness, it made him want to puke.

David turned his head towards Lilly, she was staring into oblivion. He considered telling her what he had found out and even the voice urged him to do it as well, yet he still chose to remain silent. It screamed and thrashed around in his mind, but he turned his head back towards the floor and forced his mouth shut so that he wouldn't murmur anything unwillingly.

It was Zoh who killed him using me and that creature, but he didn't deserve this. He was a nonbeliever, but he wasn't a savage infidel, he was intelligent and kind and understanding and he did not deserve this. My father was right, I should have left the defenders and their blind worshipping of Zoh.

Tears began to roll down his cheeks as he remembered the times he and Sturdy spent together. They seemed so happy, even the parts where they would argue and yell at each other, and so distant, even though they only happened not more than a week ago. He wished his friend was still alive and well and he would be able to hug him and forget this nightmare, but he finally realized it. His friend died and he will never come back.

Out of nowhere, a hoof gently tapped on David's face, drying up most of his tears. He turned his head towards Lilly, who was looking at him with a weak smile, "You look awful," she said quietly and chuckled once on her own joke.

David forced a happy expression on his face and replied with the same tone Lilly used, "I still look better than you," both of them laughed lightly at this for a split second before falling silent again.

"He isn't coming back, is he?" asked Lilly suddenly, cutting the silence between them once more. David wanted to answer her, but all he managed was to shake his head. She nodded.

"I've been thinking," said Lilly with a casual tone.

"What have you done," answered David slightly dramatically, although he didn't have the strength to smile with it.

"Princess Celestia, despite her power, can't bring back ponies from the dead," she stopped for a second and looked David in the eye, "What about your god, Zoh was his name?"

"No," David knew what she was proposing and he wanted to say yes, but he just couldn't lie to Lilly, "I'm not sure if he even exists at this point, but even if he did, then he wouldn't be able to do it anyway," Lilly nodded in understanding and leaned back against the wall.

"How come you're not sure about his existence?" She asked again with surprise clear in her voice.

The voice began screaming again, "It's because of Sturdy. We had a discussion about it once."

"He persuaded you?"

"No, he only gave his opinion, but..." David put his hand on his forehead to ease his growing headache, "I was sent here by Zoh for a purpose and that was to help on you and Sturdy, but I failed at it miserably. In the stories about Zoh, he always punished those who failed him and yet here I am without my punishment."

"Well, I think you did get your punishment," remarked Lilly under her breath, although David was able to hear it.

"No, Sturdy's death was my failure, not my punishment. I wasn't able to protect him from that..."

"Manticore," cut in Lilly when she saw his struggle to come up with an appropriate name for the beast.

"Yes," he paused for a moment to gather his thoughts while trying to push the screaming voice into the back of his mind, "It's just that ever since we talked there were many things where Zoh should have intervened in some form, but he did not, but then other times he would. It's just such a mess and I just can't see anything clearly anymore," he put his hand down in defeat and let the voice take over his mind with it's yelling.

"I understand," for a moment the voice fell silent as he turned his head towards Lilly, "Everything became dull as if nothing has color, but I can still see the colors, they just don't affect me anymore. I feel nothingness. Not emptiness, I don't feel like I have no feelings, I feel like there is no longer anything in me that is capable of feeling any emotions."

The voice became mute in his head. It was still there, he could feel its presence, but it was no longer screaming. He put his hand on Lilly's shoulder and began gently stroking it, "This will get much worse before it can get any better," he said sincerely and with a bit of sorry for themselves.

"Thanks," she said in a neutral voice and both of them withdrew into their own thoughts. They remained there, on the ground, thinking back to the times they spent with Sturdy and wishing that they had spent more time with him before the painful end until they fell asleep on the floor.

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I, Zoh , ******* you to **** ******** and *** the ponies *** ********** me, to save your people **** the ****** that I have ********* **** them for their ***********.

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Author's Note:

You know guys, I'm only beginning to realize how fast time flies by. I can still remember working on the first few sentences of this chapter and now I'm here. I don't even want to know how many months have passed since the last chapter.

Anyway, I'm guessing there will be still two more chapters and then the story is done. I already have other stories in mind to write after I've finished.

Thanks again to xXDageDXx for proofreading this chapter as well.

Have a nice day/evening!