Starlight Glimmer's Pet Human

by DJDJ

So You Have a Pet Human

Glim Glam and Spike had the castle to themselves for the day. Twilight was still there of course but much like most other days lately, Twilight was locked in her room with a very ominous “DO NOT DISTURB” card hanging from her door knob. Meaning the pair of pale purple people-like creatures had free reign. Between the two of them, they decided to take advantage of their freedom by sitting in the throne room trying to think of activities they hadn’t exhausted themselves on yet.

The brainstorming hit a breakthrough when Glimmy shouted to the ceiling “I’m SO BORED!” then proceeding to slam her face on the crystal table in front of her. She lamented that smashing bone and flesh on a flat crystal surface wasn’t her most brilliant idea.

However the actual breakthrough came immediately after when Spike burped up a scroll. Starlight didn’t much notice or even care. That is until Spike informed her, “It’s from Twilight…” Starlight peeled her face off of the table and looked across at Spike quizzically. “It’s for you.” He said, motioning for her to come over and look for herself.

Starlight grimaced, “She couldn’t be bothered to come down the hall and talk to me herself?” She rolled her eyes, walking around the table to read the letter over Spike’s shoulder.

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Dear Starlight Glimmer,

All throughout your studies under me, I have seen you bond with Spike as a friend and it occurred to me, you never had a pet of your own. The other Princesses and I have come across a bipedal creature of unknown origins. Instead of subjecting the poor thing to a lifetime of lab experiments, we decided it would be best to give it a home and care for it properly and find out what we can learn about it along the way. Not me of course, I’m much too busy. Princess Luna and I are still fragging silvers studying the nuances of forming and maintaining online friendships! This thing seems pretty smart, if you’re patient I bet you could teach it a few tricks! Go ahead and use this as a friendship lesson about bonding with animals or something, yeah that makes sense.

Have fun!

Princess Twilight Sparkle

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“A pet?” Glamicus wondered aloud. “What the hay seed would I do with a pet?”

Spike scratched his chin for a moment, pondering the question himself. Until he realized something, “Wait, a PET?” His eyes widened and he started to panic. Her Glimmyness the Starlight looked at him curiously. “Oh no, that means-“ Spike’s distress was cut short, when a duffle bag about six and a half feet long materialized out of one of his fiery belches.

The small crew of colorful comrades cautiously conglomerated around the duffle bag. They both stepped back in surprise when the bag started moving and unzipped itself. A tall fleshy creature with a whimsical tuft of fur on its head sat upright and looked around the room, locking its gaze with the only other occupants of the oval chamber.

Star-Glimmy carefully approached the creature sitting in the duffle bag and tried to establish a dialogue, “Hello?” She tried. Her new pet blinked the one eye that wasn’t covered with a black patch twice in response. Star G reasoned that it communicated by blinking or more likely wasn’t entirely sure what was happening.

Spike stepped up next to Starlight and decided to insert himself into the conversation. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to do it.” He deadpanned. Starlight rubbed her chin with her hoof and Spike planted his fists on his hips, trying to size the creature up. The three beings sat in awkward silence until the strange new creature made another attempt at communication by way of stomach growl. “That’s more like it!” Spike beamed. “Come on Starlight! It’s hungry and theres still some good stuff in the kitchen we haven’t got into yet.” He enthused, grabbing the creature’s one fleshy claw in his own in an attempt to drag it out of the duffle bag.

As Spike tugged on its arm, the creature stood fully upright, revealing itself to be roughly six feet tall. Starlight stopped Spike before he could take her new pet too far. “Hang on Spike, we don’t even know what it eats.”

“Aw come one Starlight!” He whined, “It’s easy, we just put stuff in front of it until it eats something it likes.” He smiled hopefully.

The Glim Glam took a moment to carefully consider Spike’s suggestion, but quickly decided against it. “I don’t think so Spike. Princess Twilight said she and the other princesses don’t even know where it’s from. It might not even eat anything found in Equestria.” She lectured.

“But what if it does? Besides…” The creature’s stomach growled again, even louder. “It’s really really hungry.”

Once again, Starlight was forced to consider Spike’s suggestion on the creature’s well being. “Hmmm, still, it could smell something it likes that turns out to be poisonous to it. I’d feel terrible if it got sick or worse just because we don’t know how to take care of it.” She regarded the creature with care and reached a conclusion. “Theres only one responsible way to handle this…”

Spike raised an eyebrow, looking between Starry and her new pet. “Take it to Fluttershy?” He suggested. Now, this creature, which in its own world would be known as a human, didn’t comprehend the noise coming from the smaller beings as language. Although the small purple one’s sentiment somehow brought feelings of warmth, comfort, and safety to the human’s very core.

“I’m afraid not.” Starlight protested. “Spike,” She inhaled purposefully, “I’m taking it to a vet.” She insisted, stomping her hoof authoritatively. Now, again, the human couldn’t recognize any of this as words or sentences, but when the sounds passed the not as small purple one’s lips, it felt a harsh shiver all the way up and down its spine and an icy chill in its heart.